“Where were we?” she asked, taking her seat. “Ah, that’s right. I’m giving you both Saturday school.”
Aria’s spirits rose at the prospect of something new but Caroline seemed upset.
“But it was an accident!” she cried.
“I’m sure it was, Miss Mason, but since you won’t tell me who is responsible …” The headmistress paused again, waiting to see if Caroline had changed her mind, but she obviously hadn’t. “… I have no choice. Rules were broken. There must be consequences. And if either of you decides to come back and tell me who did put those uniforms on the diving board, they’ll be joining you on Saturday. In the meantime, I’ll be notifying your parents.”
Parents, thought Aria, biting her lip. She wasn’t sure how that would go. She could magic up a clean school polo, or some pillows for the tree house. She didn’t think she could magic up a mother and father.
“Miss Blue, there’s no number listed on your information sheet,” said Ms. Pierce, producing a crisp piece of paper. “In fact, there’s nothing listed but a name. We must have had a technical malfunction. If you could fill out the rest …” She handed the paper to Aria, who stared down at the blank lines marked with things like parents and address and home phone. Her chest tightened a little, that strange dull sadness that floated up whenever she was reminded that she had nothing more than a name on a bracelet. And then she brushed it away, and filled in the blanks.
Her parents became John and Kendall Blue (she liked the names).
Her address — which in her head was the blue-green tree house — became 23 Tree House Lane.
As for the phone number, Aria picked ten numbers — there were ten spots —at random, and then did her best to imagine a phone in her tree house to go with them.
The whole time she was writing, Caroline stared at the floor and listened to Ms. Pierce lecture her on the importance of honesty. “I have to say, I’m disappointed in you, Caroline. Integrity is an important part of Westgate’s code. I depend on girls like you and Lily to be models of behavior.”
A noise — somewhere between a sigh and a scoff — escaped through Aria’s nose. Caroline shot her a look. Ms. Pierce didn’t seem to notice.
“A Westgate girl,” she continued, “does not lie, even to protect her friends.”
“But why would Caroline’s friends do something like this?” asked Aria pointedly. “Hanging our clothes up there was mean.”
Ms. Pierce folded her hands, considering. “That’s true. But why else would you protect them?”
“I’m not protecting anyone!” said Caroline. “I don’t know who did it.”
Ms. Pierce sighed, disappointed. “Very well. You two had best be getting to class, while there’s still class left.”
Caroline and Aria got to their feet and shuffled out. At the door, Aria paused and looked back. Ms. Pierce didn’t seem like a very happy person. Aria thought maybe a bit of color would cheer her up. It certainly couldn’t hurt, so she turned the little black bows on Ms. Pierce’s black heels a sunny yellow.
“Is there something you want to say?” asked the headmistress, looking up. Aria only smiled, and shook her head, and followed Caroline out.
As soon as they were in the hallway, Caroline slumped against the wall. Aria touched her shoulder.
“So, will you help me?” asked Caroline.
Aria sighed. And whether she willed the bell overhead to ring, or it was simply time for lunch, the sound saved her from answering.
“Let’s get some food,” she said, hurrying away before Caroline could do anything but nod and follow.
But Caroline wouldn’t let it go.
The first thing out of her mouth after they got their trays was, “Well? Are you going to help me?”
To which Aria said, “I’m starving.” Even though she wasn’t.
When they were standing in line, Caroline asked the question again. To which Aria said, “Should I get applesauce, or an orange?”
But once they sat down, there was no escape.
“Aria, are you going to help me get my friends back or not?”
Aria looked up, holding Caroline’s gaze through the ring of blue smoke.
“No,” she said.
Caroline frowned. “What do you mean, no?”
Aria hadn’t used the word very often. She didn’t even realize she was going to use it until it tumbled out. “No,” she said again, “I can’t do that. Or, I guess, I won’t.”
“I don’t understand.”
Aria thought about how to explain, that even though Caroline wanted to get her old friends back, it wasn’t what she needed. There was a difference.
Yes, Aria could technically help Caroline get her friends back, but she knew in her bones and her shadow and the beginnings of her wings that it wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t make the blue smoke go away and it wouldn’t make Caroline any happier. Going back wouldn’t fix things. She had to go forward.
Aria was about to say this to Caroline, but Caroline didn’t give her a chance.
“I thought you were supposed to be on my side,” she said.
“I am on your side,” insisted Aria.
“No, you’re not.” Caroline looked like she was about to cry. “You act like you’re my friend, you say you’re here to help me but you won’t give me the only thing I want.” She pushed up from the table. “What kind of a guardian angel are you?”
Aria felt like she’d been struck. “Caroline, listen …” she started, but the other girl was already storming away. Aria sighed. This could have been such a good day.
Now, sitting at the table by herself, the eyes of the other girls in the cafeteria turning toward her, Aria discovered how it felt to be abandoned. She could see her reflection in the waxy apple on her tray, distorted, but there. She poked her fingernail into the apple, drawing two small crescents just above the shoulders. Like wings.
What kind of guardian angel are you?
The single feather on her charm bracelet jingled faintly as she set the apple down, and stood up.
She was carrying the lunch trays to the return station when she heard Erica say, “Aw, did you two have a fight?”
Aria looked up to see Erica, Whitney, and Lily standing there.
“I told you not to waste your time on her,” said Lily. “She’s hopeless.”
“She’s a loser,” added Whitney, a little halfheartedly.
Aria had had enough. “Why?” she asked Whitney. “Because she stood up for you?”
Whitney frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Aria felt her face get hot. “You were supposed to be Lily’s victim this year. But Caroline stood up for you. That’s why she is where she is, and you are where you are. Think about that the next time you decide to call her names.”
Whitney looked at Lily and Erica, uncertainly. “Is … is that true?”
Erica rolled her eyes. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter, Whit. Don’t get worked up.”
“You’re one of us now,” said Lily. “Isn’t that what you want?”
Aria looked at Whitney. Whitney looked at the ground. Lily put her hand on Whitney’s shoulder, and leaned in. “Do you want to go back to being a nobody?” she whispered in the girl’s ear.
Whitney took a deep breath. Then she put on her best smile, looked at Aria, and said, “Caroline Mason is a nobody. I’m not.”
Aria’s heart sank. She remembered what Caroline had said that night on the trampoline. Everyone just wants to belong.
“You should have taken my advice,” chided Lily.
Why? Aria wanted to ask. Why are you doing this?
“She didn’t turn you in, you know,” Aria told Lily. “After what you did with our uniforms. She wouldn’t.”
Lily shrugged, even though her blue smoke swirled violently around her shoulders.
“I feel sorry for her,” said Aria.
“Because she’s an outcast?” jabbed Erica.
“No.” Aria shook her head. “Because even afte
r all you’ve done to her, she’d come running back to you. I feel sorry for her,” she said, “because she can’t see that none of you are worth it.”
And with that, Aria dumped the trays, and went to find Caroline.
Caroline sat in the stairwell, her knees drawn up. She didn’t know how long she’d been sitting there — it was still lunch — but she was about to drag herself to her feet when she felt her cell phone buzz in her backpack. She frowned and dug it out. Caroline’s cell phone hadn’t buzzed with a text — at least one that wasn’t from her mom or sister — in weeks.
The message was from Lily.
I miss you, it said. Come over after school. Pool party. Like old times.
Her chest started to ache. Did Lily really want her back? Had she gotten bored of tormenting Caroline? Or was this just another prank?
I’m not falling for it, she texted back.
But a second later, the phone buzzed again. Come on, Car. Caroline could picture Lily draping her arm around her shoulders, resting her black curls against Caroline’s straight blond hair. Please come. We can talk.
Caroline read the texts once, then twice, then a dozen more times before the stairwell door swung open. Without looking up, she knew it was Aria. Maybe it was the way the overhead light brightened slightly, or the faint jingle of the girl’s charm bracelet.
“Look,” said Aria, sitting down beside her. “I’m trying to understand where you’re coming from.”
Caroline shook her head. Aria couldn’t understand. Had she ever been a person before she was an angel? Had she ever had best friends? The kind you love even when you don’t like them? The kind you miss even when they make you miserable? “I only want things to go back to the way they were.”
“Do you think they can?” asked Aria.
Caroline’s stomach tightened.
“Do you think they should?” pressed Aria. “Look at science. Things move forward. Not back.”
“I wish you would just help me,” said Caroline.
“I’m trying,” said Aria. “But it seems to me like Lily Pierce is a bully. The girls who hang out with her are bullies.”
“I’d rather be a bully than a nobody,” mumbled Caroline.
“You act like those are the only two options,” said Aria, sounding exasperated. “Like there’s nothing in between. But there are so many things between, Caroline. There’s nice. And funny. Kind. Smart. Strange. Cool … And there are girls at this school who are those things. They may not be the most popular, but they’re not nobodies.”
Caroline swallowed hard. “It doesn’t matter. Even if I wanted to make new friends, all the other girls ignore me.”
Aria shook her head. “No,” she said. “A few of them ignore you. You’re ignoring everyone else. You act like Lily is the only person at Westgate worth being friends with. But this school is full of other people. I can help you find them.”
Caroline’s eyes burned. She didn’t want to start over. She just wanted to go back. Back to the moment when she tried to stop Lily from pranking Whitney. She would do everything differently.
Suddenly, Aria’s face brightened. “Ah!” she said, “Why didn’t I think of this before?”
“Think of what?”
“We’ll let my shadow decide!”
Caroline had no idea what Aria was talking about. “How is your shadow supposed to help?”
“Because it’s not just a shadow,” explained Aria. “It’s also a door.”
“A door …” echoed Caroline, confused.
Aria nodded. “One that takes me wherever I’m supposed to be. Which means it will take you wherever you’re supposed to be. So if we go through, and it takes us to Lily, I’ll help you get your old friends back.” Caroline’s spirits lifted. “But,” added Aria, “you have to promise me that if it takes us somewhere else, you’ll let me help you my way.”
Caroline hesitated. She thought of Lily’s texts and stared down at the shadow beneath Aria’s feet. “Does it ever make the wrong choice?” she asked.
Aria shook her head. “No.”
Caroline took a deep breath. “Okay,” she said. “Deal.”
Aria broke into a grin, and hopped up. “Let’s go.”
“We can’t go now,” said Caroline. “Lunch is almost over.”
“We won’t be gone long,” Aria assured her. And then she looked down and tapped her foot a few times. Her shadow turned on like a light. The same light that had surrounded Aria when Caroline almost fell down the stairs.
Caroline gasped. If she didn’t believe before, she was starting to now….
Aria held out her hand. “Come on.”
Caroline stood up and surveyed the pool of light on the ground. She took Aria’s hand, squeezed her eyes shut, and stepped through.
A second later, Caroline opened her eyes. All she saw were trees, and fences, and sky. She wasn’t at school. The ground wobbled under her feet, and when she looked down, she saw that they were standing on the trampoline in her backyard.
Caroline’s heart sank. She realized how badly she’d wanted the shadow door to take them to Lily. But why had it taken them here?
“I don’t understand,” she said, turning on Aria. “What does this mean?”
Aria bounced a little on her toes, considering the trampoline. “I’m not sure.”
Caroline sighed. “This doesn’t tell me anything.”
“Well,” said Aria, “It didn’t take you to Lily …” Caroline’s throat tightened. She felt Aria’s hand on her shoulder. “It’s for the best.”
Caroline nodded numbly. “We’d better get back to school.”
Aria snapped her fingers, and the light blossomed at their feet. An instant later they were back in the stairwell, as if nothing had happened. The light went out, and Aria’s shadow was nothing more than an ordinary stretch of darkness on the floor.
“Are you all right?” asked Aria.
“A deal’s a deal,” said Caroline, hollowly.
The bell rang overhead, and Aria turned toward the door. When Caroline didn’t follow, she looked back. “Are you coming? It’s time for science.”
“You go ahead,” said Caroline. “I’ll catch up in a second.”
She waited for Aria to leave, and then she dug her cell phone from her bag and read Lily’s texts one last time.
Come on, Car.
Maybe Aria had lied about the shadow taking her where she needed to go. Maybe it only went where Aria wanted. After all, she didn’t want Lily and Caroline to be friends again. She didn’t understand.
Please come.
Caroline chewed her lip, and then typed one word — OK — and hit send.
Caroline’s bikini was blue and green and white.
Lily had picked it out for her over the summer. She and Lily and Erica had spent a whole day at the mall, trying on bikinis and one-pieces.
“Car!” Lily had cried when Caroline tried on this bikini. “You’re like summer on a stick! It has to be that one! Look,” she said, holding up her own choice, blue and white, “we match!”
Erica had picked out an orange one-piece, but when she saw theirs, she shoved it back onto the rack and chose a green one instead. Lily had smiled and patted Erica’s hair. “Perfect. Now we all match.”
Caroline checked herself in the mirror now. For an instant, she wondered if she shouldn’t head over to Lily’s. But then she pulled on a pair of shorts, slung a towel over her shoulder, and went downstairs. Her mom, dad, and Megan were in the kitchen.
“Where do you think you’re going?” asked her mom, who was not happy about the Saturday school news. “Haven’t you had enough swimming for one day?”
“Oh, what did Car do now?” asked Megan.
“She got herself a weekend detention after skipping class to go for a swim.”
“It wasn’t like that,” said Caroline.
“Nicely done, little sis!” said Megan in a rare display of affection.
“Megan, don’t encourage her,” said her dad.
But then he smiled. “Not that Westgate doesn’t need to loosen up a little.”
“Was it Aria’s idea?” asked her mom.
“No,” Caroline tried to explain for the zillionth time, “it wasn’t anybody’s idea. She fell in; I had to go get her because she can’t swim.”
Oh yeah, and she’s also apparently my guardian angel.
Caroline thought it best not to mention that part.
“That’s not nearly as cool,” said Megan, pulling out her phone.
“Yeah, well, it’s the only reason your sister isn’t grounded for life,” said Caroline’s mom.
“So can I go or not?” asked Caroline.
“Where are you going?” asked her dad.
“Lily’s.”
Her mom’s face broke into a smile. “I’m so glad you two are making up,” she said. “Is Aria going with you?”
Caroline shook her head. Of course she hadn’t told Aria what she was doing.
“Have fun,” said her dad.
“Be home by eight,” added her mom.
Caroline walked across the lawn, and up Lily’s front steps. She could hear music and laughter and splashing in the backyard, sounds of summer, of good days. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and rang the bell.
No one answered.
She rang the bell again.
Again, nothing.
Caroline’s heart started to race, but she told herself it was fine. They probably couldn’t hear her, with the music turned up. She went around to the back fence door, the one that led straight to the backyard, and pulled on it.
It was locked.
Caroline hesitated. She could still hear the music, and the slosh of water, but the chatter had stopped.
She was about to knock.
And then she heard the giggle.
It wasn’t loud, but soft and stifled, as if someone had put their hand over their mouth. It was coming from right on the other side of the door. Lily and Erica and Whitney were there. And they were hiding from her.
Caroline was standing in Lily’s yard in a blue and green and white bikini.
And she felt like an idiot.
Because of course things weren’t going back to the way they were before. They were never going back. Lily wasn’t her best friend anymore.