Pulling back, my eyes met Nila’s black ones.
I froze as she slowly stood upright, dropping her legs beneath the water. Her hands moved. Slowly and weakly, she cupped my face.
I stiffened within her hold.
A hitched sigh fell from my lips.
I would permit her to slap me. I would let her take out her rage. After all, I deserved it.
I knew she was angry. The colour in her cheeks and glitter in her eyes hinted at her rage. I felt her temper building as surely as I felt the small eddies of natural thermals in the water.
I nodded, bracing for punishment.
But she didn’t move.
We just stared and breathed and tried to understand each other’s betrayal.
My lips tingled for hers. My cock wept for her body. And my heart…shit my heart begged to unlock and let her own it.
“I forgive you,” she finally whispered, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
That one phrase cleaved me in two, and for the first time in my life, I broke. I wanted to fucking cry over a lifetime of misuse. Over a childhood I’d never been able to enjoy and an adulthood I’d never been able to embrace.
I wanted to fucking kill for what I still had to do and for what I had become.
I should slip beneath the water and take my own life. I was done fighting. Done pretending.
If I could’ve saved her by ending my struggles, I would have.
I would’ve sacrificed all I fucking knew to save her.
Licking my bottom lip, my eyes fell to her mouth.
There was just too much to say. Too many hurts to uncover and I didn’t have the strength.
Not yet.
Nila floated before me, her breath hitching as I gently captured her hips and dragged her weightless body against mine.
Her eyes flared; her body bowstring tight.
Her fingers dug into my cheeks, holding me at a distance but not struggling to swim away.
My hands burned where I held her. I was grateful she let me touch her at all. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted more.
Lowering my head, I tore past her anger and searched for the emotion from the polo match.
I needed to see I hadn’t destroyed what I’d witnessed that day. Slowly, it appeared—floating to the surface of her eyes, blazing true.
She still cared for me.
After all that I’d done.
Fuck, I’m a monster.
Guilt crushed my chest, spinning rapidly with body-melting desire.
“Kiss me, Nila,” I whispered. “Let me bring you back to life.”
The water waked as she jolted. Her hands landed on my chest, tensing to push me away.
I shuddered as her fingertips scrunched my shirt.
Then, instead of pushing me, she pulled me.
Her hand slinked up around my neck, tugging my mouth to hers.
I sucked in a breath.
And she obeyed.
EVERY INCH OF me hurt.
My lungs were battered and bruised; my throat raw and raspy. My head pounded and throbbed. Every time I breathed, it seemed as if my ribcage had one purpose in life: to stab my heart to death.
I was alive…and paying the price.
Drowning wasn’t fun.
Being drowned multiple times, even less so.
I never wanted to go near water again.
Yet you’re in a pool with Jethro.
You’re in a pool kissing Jethro.
My mind hurt trying to understand how he’d destroyed me in water, yet healed me in the same substance.
Cruel then comforting.
Murderous then reviving.
Two sides to everything—not evil or good or even aware of its perception. Just a single entity being used in different ways.
Water could be an enemy, but also a lover.
Could the same be true for Jethro?
His lips slid against mine. Wet and warm and gentle.
He didn’t force me. He didn’t try to control the kiss I’d given him.
And for that I was grateful.
I took my time. Tasting him—tasting his regret.
I did my utmost to swim deep into his soul where the truth just waited to be found. I needed to know what he suffered from. I had to find out if I wanted to remain living.
His head twisted, changing the direction of the kiss so our bodies danced closer. The tip of his tongue licked my bottom lip, shooting a ripple of lust into my belly.
I had to trust in him. Trust in this. Had to believe. Had to hope.
Opening my mouth, I welcomed his tongue inside. Licking him, encouraging him, giving into the dark and dangerous undercurrent flowing between us.
He groaned, gathering me closer. Pulling back, he clasped my cheeks with his large hands. “I want you to know.”
My damaged heart fluttered. I didn’t speak, but I knew my question glowed in my eyes.
Know what?
He sighed. His chiselled cheekbones and dark brows made him look guilty and sorrowful all at once. His thick eyelashes shadowed stunning eyes and his lips—they promised to be the perfect drug to make me forget about my pain.
In the hazy steamy world, I saw how tightly reined he was. His soul didn’t just have shadows—it had holes. Holes that might never be stitched together again.
He was heir to an empire worth untold millions. He was smart, capable, and strong. In hindsight, it was inevitable that I would fall for him. How could I not? It was almost a relief to admit that I stood no chance against his spell.
But if he’d ensnared me, then I’d ensnared him.
He suffered the same conflict.
Jethro brushed a thumb over my lips, his touch trembling softly. “You make me better even while making me worse.”
My throat tightened, triggering the soreness from previous screaming. The tattoo on my fingertip burned as if recognising he was my other half—whether I wanted it or not.
In so many ways, Jethro was old beyond his years, yet so young at the same time.
“You need to tell me,” I murmured. “Let me understand.”
“Can’t you understand that I’ve been fucked up ever since I first texted you? I’m insane, but you’re the only cure for my insanity.”
My heart thundered. The first verbal admission that he was Kite.
It was more than he’d given me before, but it wasn’t enough.
“I’m listening and not judging.” I couldn’t stop myself from adding, “And you made me the same way. I’m mad over you, Jethro. You have to give in.”
With a blended noise of frustration and grief, he kissed me again, twisting my thoughts with an eager tongue. I wasn’t strong enough to stay firm while he was determined to sweep me away. The kiss distracted me from what he’d said, what I wanted him to say. Despite myself, I mirrored him, massaging his tongue with mine, strengthening our desire.
Don’t let him hide.
My restraint barely existed, but I couldn’t permit him to change the subject—no matter if I preferred the new topic.
Breaking free, I pushed my fingers into his hair, holding him firm. “Tell me, Jethro. Tell me everything.”
He breathed hard, his eyes never leaving my mouth. “Isn’t it enough to know you’ve got me by the heart?” He suddenly grabbed my hand, splaying my fingers over his chest. “Can you feel that?”
My lungs stuck together as my heartbeat kicked into a flurry.
Jethro breathed, “It’s become so bad, I can barely breathe. For years I’ve struggled—my whole fucking life.”
I tried to take my hand back. I couldn’t stomach feeling the irregular thump of his heart beneath my fingertips. Its rhythm was screwed up, confused…lost.
His face held such yearning, such turmoil. Staring at me that way gave me too much power. Too much authority over his soul.
But it also soothed me—proved that having control in my future was right here—in my grasp. I only had to be brave enough to take it.
Curling my fing
ers on his chest, as if I could carve his heart out and hold it in my hand, I stared into his light coloured eyes. “Tell me.”
“I’ll tell you what I can…but later.”
“No, you won’t. Tell me now.”
“What more do you want from me, Nila?” he suddenly snarled. “Don’t you see? Do you really need to hear it?”
His fear thickened the air.
Yes, I could see something was wrong. I could almost understand it.
But I needed him to admit it.
“You can’t hide. Not this time. Not with me.”
Silence webbed around us.
Then finally, his head bowed in defeat, but there was relief in his gaze. “I’ll tell you. All of it. What I am. What it means. I promise. I’ll tell you.”
WHAT I AM. What it means.
WHAT I AM. What it means.
The promise echoed in my head.
Why had I promised such a thing?
Why did I think I could?
Because she needs to see the truth. She needed to know so she could forgive me.
I kissed her again—trying to stop her from seeing my fear at being open and true.
Holding her jaw, I pressed my lips harder against hers, signalling that I would keep my promise, but not right now.
Right now, I needed to be inside her.
Right now, I didn’t have the strength.
It was selfish of me to take more from her when she’d only just recovered, but something inside me howled for what she could give.
I needed it before I had the capacity to talk about what I was.
Only then would I find the courage.
I’m selfish.
I’m a bastard.
She paused for a second, as if deciding whether to let me drag her from words to actions. Then her tongue met mine, returning my kiss with a greed that sent my cock on fire.
Her arms wrapped around my waist, holding me reverently.
It was more, so much more than I deserved. My breathing hitched.
Slowly, the kiss evolved into an admittance of feelings and longing. Our breathing accelerated, echoing in the cave.
Needing nothing between us, I pushed Nila away and grabbed the hem of my t-shirt. The water sucked the fabric against my stomach, gluing it in place.
With a tug that sent a wash of droplets raining over Nila, I tore it off and threw it to the side.
Nila stood there, her gaze drifting down my exposed torso. Her dark beauty stole my fucking breath. Her hair hung like wet silk. The shapeless white shift moulded to her curves, thanks to the Velcro-like ability of water.
Wading toward her, I ducked a little and captured her hem below the water’s surface. Without a word, I pulled it up over her thighs and hips then hid her face as I pulled it over her head.
Her arms fell to her sides, lethargic and weak from what I’d done.
Leaning forward, I reached behind her and unhooked her bra. I bit my lip as the fabric fell away, exposing what I’d been dying to see for days.
Her nipples were pink and hard, pinpointed with the same desire that existed in my cock.
Never looking away, I captured the lace on her hips and pulled her knickers down her legs. She trembled but didn’t stop me. I shouldn’t do this. She needed to rest.
But I had no choice.
I had to take her.
It was the only way.
Her touch landed on my shoulder for balance as I removed her underwear. Her gaze darkened before a slight mask slid into place, hiding depths that I needed to see.
I’d done that. I’d made her build walls. I’d made her hide—same as me.
I couldn’t permit that.
Throwing away her underwear, she stood before me naked and completely trusting. Giving me everything I demanded so damn selflessly.
“I’ll never be able to thank you,” I whispered.
“Thank me for what?”
“For caring more about my own welfare than your own.” Capturing her face, I breathed, “I can feel you. I know that doesn’t make sense, but the moment you give in to me; the moment you let yourself submit…it saves me. I can’t explain it, but you heal me, Nila.”
Her eyes glistened. A soft smile graced her lips as she pressed her cheek into my palm. “Don’t be afraid of me, Jethro. Don’t be afraid of what’s growing between us.”
I kissed her. Her mouth opened, her tongue dancing with mine.
Breaking apart, I said, “I won’t. I’m not letting you go. You’re mine, do you understand?”
She nodded, shyness pinking her cheeks. “I belong to you.”
I shivered with relief, with gratefulness, with every fucking comfort I’d never had.
With fumbling hands, I undid my belt and pushed my jeans and boxer-briefs down my legs. Kicking off my shoes, I stripped. The water made it a trial to discard the unwanted clothing.
Urgency echoed in my limbs, making me rush. She’d admitted she was mine. I had to confirm it.
The hot water flowed around my erection, lapping at my balls—more arousing than air.
I ached to fill her again.
Gathering her close, I pressed my forehead against hers and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist. “I want to make you come. I want to erase what happened today and give you a better memory.”
She lifted her face to the natural cave formation above us. “Here?”
I nodded.
I wouldn’t be able to walk with the pounding flesh between my legs. I was a fucking saint taking it slow. One touch from her and I’d explode.
Brushing her hair from her neck, I whispered, “I’m going to fuck you…here.” Trailing my lips along her jawline, I murmured, “I’m going to make you moan…here.” Baring my teeth, I bit her throat, filled with the primal need to mark. “I’m going to make you scream…here.”
She shivered, letting her head fall back, surrendering to me.
I bit her again—I couldn’t help myself. I nudged her diamond collar higher up her throat and bit hard. I couldn’t ignore the instincts demanding me to claim.
I wanted to give her a gift. A gift where I gave her more than just my body but my heart. There would be no pain, debts, or degradation. Only us.
“I want to care for you, Nila. I want to show you how much I value what you’ve given me.”
The driving urge to climb inside her grew with every heartbeat. The anticipation made it all the more sweeter, but I’d reached the end of my self-control.
Dropping my gaze, I followed my hand as I cupped her breast and squeezed. Her back curved, forcing more of her flesh into my fingers. I pinched her nipple then ducked and covered her other breast with my mouth.
She groaned, hugging my head to her, demanding that I lick harder. The erotic sound of her pleasure sent shock-waves through me.
Thank fuck she didn’t like sweet and gentle. I’d tried to be soft—for her sake. I’d tried to control myself. I wasn’t such a monster to add more injuries, not when she’d been through so much, but I silently thanked her that she needed what I did.
That she wanted me fierce and true. Nothing bared.
My fingertips flexed around her nipple, dragging another soft moan.
I couldn’t stand it any longer.
Standing to my full height, I captured her mouth in another kiss. Her beautiful lips met mine, her tongue licking with passion and hunger. As our kiss deepened, I banded an arm around her, pressing her flat stomach against my cock.
She arched into my caress, her fingers flying into the water to wrap around my length.
“Fuck,” I groaned as her tight hold sent my mind exploding with lust.
My hips rocked, forcing myself deeper into her palm. The joy of having her touch me—of me touching her—wasn’t enough. I needed more.
I need fucking everything.
Picking her up, I waded to the side and spun her around. The moment she faced away from me, I couldn’t stop myself from grinding my cock against the crack of her arse.
/> Her fingers clawed at the earthen side, her head flopping forward as I cupped her breasts from behind and squeezed to the point of pain.
Dropping one hand, I trailed it down her belly, not stopping until I found her slippery cunt. I sucked in air as I found a different kind of moisture.
Her arousal was thicker, silkier than the water around us.
I bit the back of her shoulder, pressing a finger deep inside her. The way she gave in to me made me soar. The guilt, the hate—it all faded.
She bucked, her mouth falling open. “Ah…”
Her gentle sound of bliss unravelled me faster.
This was what I needed. Her. Where had she been all my life? Why had I fumbled for so long without her in my arms?
Never again.
Never fucking again would I be so alone.
Her torso twisted in my arms, her hand cupping my bristle-covered jaw. “I can feel you.”
Fuck, she was too perceptive.
I couldn’t speak.
Nila’s lips tilted into a sensual smile. “I can feel so much when you let go. When you let me in.”
I kissed her.
I had no choice.
Her body wriggled against mine as I slipped another finger inside her pussy, rubbing her clit with my thumb.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous…so strong.” Words spilled from my mouth, disappearing into her hair, down her back, dripping into the water. “I’m so damn hard, I’m in agony. All my life, something was missing. And now I’ve found it.” I rocked my dick against her, making my need so much worse. “I found you. I stole you. I took you from others who didn’t appreciate the gift of what you are, and now I’m never letting you go.”
She moaned, her eyes blazing with lust.
I thrust again, welcoming the heat and bliss of being naked with this woman. “See what you do to me? See how much I need to crawl inside you and never fucking leave?” I rolled my hips, panting at the delicious friction.
Nila gasped, her spine bowing in invitation. “God, don’t stop. Tell me everything. Don’t be afraid. If you want me to beg, I’ll beg. If you want me to scream, I’ll scream. Just…” Her legs spread in the water as she bent over the side, looking at me over her shoulder. “Just never stop being honest with me. This…what you’re giving me, Jethro, it makes everything worthwhile. It makes everything I believed real.”