“And now that you’ve met him?” She reached for the chicken leg on her plate, absently noting he’d given her the part she liked best.
“Let’s just say he wasn’t what I expected. Is he always that stoic? I’ve seen statues with more emotion.”
Lanie stared at him, guilt curling in her stomach. Hadn’t she thought the very same thing from time to time? But she wasn’t about to admit that to Quinn. “He’s not stoic, he’s dependable. Everyone loves him.”
Quinn continued to eat. “I don’t. There’s something strange about him.”
“There is not. You only think that because I’m engaged to him.” She picked up a fork and dug into the potato salad. “What did you talk about?”
“You. Zack.”
“Zack?”
“We agreed to keep everything civil for Zack’s sake. I told him the same thing I told you. I don’t want to disrupt Zack’s life any more than necessary. It’s obvious he cares about Jared, and I won’t do anything to hurt him.”
She dropped the piece of chicken back onto her plate. “That’s it?”
“Pretty much.”
Relief flowed through her, but it was short-lived.
“Were you sleeping with him?”
Her gaze snapped to Quinn’s face. “That’s none of your business.”
“You’re still my wife, Lanie. Anything you do is my business.” His voice softened. “You weren’t, were you?”
“No.” She kept her gaze steady in spite of the heat suffusing her cheeks. “I wanted to wait until we were married and Jared agreed with me.”
Satisfaction gleamed from his eyes as he reached across the table and took her hand. “Maybe you wanted to wait because you were afraid it wouldn’t be as good as it always was for us.”
She yanked her hand away from him, trying desperately to stop the tingle his touch sent coursing up her arm. “There’s more to a relationship than sex. I think you and I proved that.”
“If you’re implying sex was all we had together, Lanie, then you’re lying to yourself. We loved each other.” He focused on his food again.
She couldn’t do this, couldn’t have this conversation with him. Not yet. She wasn’t ready to dissect their marriage. It was time to change the subject.
“What are you doing to my bunkhouse?”
He glanced up, amusement flickering across his face as though he knew exactly what she was doing.
“Turning it into a gym.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Working out is kind of a hobby for me these days.”
“Damn it, Quinn. You should have asked me first. I’m going to need that bunkhouse later this month.”
“By the time you do, we’ll have another one built.”
“I can’t afford to have another one built. You’ll just have to put it back the way it was.”
“I’m paying for the new bunkhouse.”
“No.” She stood, hands clenched at her side. “This is still my ranch. You have no right to start changing things without asking me first.”
Carefully, Quinn put his fork beside his plate, his eyes glinting with tawny sparks. “The ranch wasn’t part of our deal. I’m keeping it however this turns out. This is my home and I’m not leaving it again.”
A chill ran over her at his tone, but she wouldn’t let him know he’d upset her. “I’ll fight you, Quinn. There’s only your word that you didn’t sign it over to me.”
“Really?” He stood abruptly, anger clear on his rugged face. “You might want to take a look at the date on that signature and then compare it to my hospital records. I’ll even have them delivered to you. It’s pretty damn hard for someone in a coma to sign his name on the dotted line.”
Shock held her still as he stalked away. A coma? For how long? Why hadn’t she been told?
Oh, God. Edward.
Slowly, she repacked the basket, her mind spinning. She hadn’t been told because Edward didn’t want her to know. He had wanted her to believe the divorce was Quinn’s idea. And no doubt he’d seen a chance to kill two birds with one stone when he’d offered her the ranch. Not only did he see it as a way to keep her quiet, he’d wanted to get it away from his son. He had always hated the time Quinn spent here.
If it were true, she couldn’t keep the ranch. Rightfully, it belonged to Quinn. She needed more information, needed to know exactly what happened the night Quinn left her, and during the months following. Only, who could she ask, who could she believe? There had been so many lies, so much pain.
She took a deep breath. Maybe she should take Quinn up on his offer to get her his medical records. It would take a few weeks to get them, but at least she’d finally know the truth.
Chapter Eight
Quinn paced the length of his room, cursing softly. He’d planned to spend the afternoon with Lanie, getting to know her again, letting her get used to having him around. Instead, he’d let all the old bitterness and pain rise to the surface.
He paused at the window, watching Lanie walk toward the house. Her steps were slow, head down as though lost in thought, and he cursed again. How could he expect her to trust him again when he couldn’t let himself trust her?
Somehow, he had to put the past behind him, forget about his time in the hospital. Remember that it hadn’t been her fault because she hadn’t known. It was the only way to give them another chance. And he wanted another chance. A chance to hold her, love her, make a life with her and their son.
She went out of sight onto the back porch, and from below he heard the door close. With a deep breath, he headed downstairs. He had to apologize before it was too late.
Lanie was in the kitchen, standing at the sink staring out the window, so deep in thought she didn’t hear him. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad. If you need the bunkhouse, I’ll tell them to leave it alone.”
Her gray eyes widened, turned the color of slate, and he felt her tremble under his hands. It was enough to send desire rippling through every inch of his body.
Slowly, she shook her head. “The bunkhouse isn’t important. I can hire some high school kids from Watson for the summer instead of the college kids I usually hire. They’ll be able to go home at night.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She moistened her lips then hesitantly lifted a hand to the scar on his face.
Quinn went still as she traced the line with her fingertips. Her gaze shifted to his, and abruptly she lowered her hand.
“I’m sorry, too, Quinn. I never should have jumped to the conclusion that you were out to get Jared. It’s just…”
“You don’t have to explain. We’ve both been through a lot in the last five years. A lot of pain and a lot of lies. I guess it would be asking too much for the past to go away overnight.” He shifted his hand to cradle her nape, his thumb caressing the soft skin below her jaw.
“As much as I want this to work, Lanie, we don’t have a chance if you’re only suffering it out for the three months. Zack deserves to have both his parents, and we deserve a shot at the life we should have had. But if you’re going to fight me every step of the way, tell me now and we’ll forget the whole thing. I can’t do this alone.”
Quinn held his breath as she gazed up at him intently. He’d taken a horrible risk, giving her the opportunity to back out of their deal.
“You’re right.” She sighed and closed her eyes briefly. “I guess part of me did think I could wait out the time and then get on with my life. That wasn’t very honest of me. I agreed to your terms and it wouldn’t be fair not to live up to my end of the deal. So I’ll try, Quinn. I can promise you that much.”
“That’s all I’m asking.” He’d never wanted anyone as much as he wanted her right then. “Will you let me kiss you?” he whispered. Normally, he wouldn’t have asked permission. But nothing about this was normal. Pushing her before she was ready would only drive her far
ther away.
Her pupils expanded until only a thin rim of gray remained before her eyelids drifted shut and she lifted her face in silent acquiescence. It was hard to determine who was shaking more now, her or him. And he really didn’t care.
His hand tightened on her nape as he drew her closer, and lowered his mouth to hers. Afraid she’d bolt, he kept the kiss soft, gently parting her lips, but when her tongue hesitantly met his, he nearly lost control. How many nights had he imagined this? So many it was impossible to count. Even when he’d spent every waking moment trying to hate her, his dreams had betrayed him.
Without thought, he deepened the kiss, desperately soaking in her taste, her scent. Part of his mind was aware that Martha had entered the kitchen, but he didn’t let that stop him. He’d waited too long.
By the time he eased up, both of them were breathing in ragged gasps. At some point, Lanie had twined her arms around his neck and her hands were still buried in his hair. For a second longer they stared at each other, then a red flush rose to color her cheeks. Hastily, she moved her arms and stepped back.
Martha was standing with her hands on her hips, beaming approval. Lanie shot her an embarrassed look as she edged toward the door. “I…I have to get back to work.”
Quinn smiled as she darted outside. His body might be aching, but his heart felt better than it had in ages. He hadn’t been wrong. Lanie still loved him, still wanted him, even if she didn’t want to acknowledge it yet.
He turned his grin on the housekeeper. “Martha, my love, it’s a beautiful day.”
She chuckled. “From what I just saw, it’s not the day that’s got you in such a good mood.”
“I always said you were a very perceptive woman.”
“Does this mean you’re back to stay?”
“Yes.” His smile faded. “This is my home, Martha. I’ll never leave it again.”
* * * * *
Lanie came to a halt at the first stall and leaned her forehead against the partition, ignoring the curious mare who inhaled gently against her cheek. She never should have let Quinn kiss her. Yes, she’d promised him to try, but that kiss was a big mistake. It had reminded her body of things she’d rather not have it remember right now, made it ache with a hungry intensity that still had her rattled. One she had no intention of giving in to.
One kiss and she’d forgotten her name, forgotten where she was, forgotten…Jared. Dear God. Guilt streaked through her. Sweet, wonderful Jared. He loved her, trusted her, and yet the first time Quinn touched her she’d been ready to rip his clothes off. Was she really that desperate?
“Lanie? Are you okay?”
She straightened, turning to stare at Sherry. The blonde had been her foreman since Jonesy, Sherry’s grandfather, retired two years earlier. She was also a friend.
“Sure.” A low laugh escaped her throat. “I’m just great. My ex-husband, who’s no longer my ex, shows up after five years and demands another chance to make our marriage work. My son is confused. And my fiancé—” She rubbed her eyes. “I can’t begin to imagine what this is doing to him. Yeah, life is a real bowl of cherries.”
Sherry put a comforting hand on her arm. “You know, I was just a kid during the summers Quinn spent here, but he always treated me great. Even back then I knew how much he loved you. And he is Zack’s father. Maybe he deserves another chance.”
“You don’t understand. There’s nothing Quinn loves more than that damn company. Zack will get used to having him around, then Quinn will leave again. Do you know what that will do to my son?”
“To Zack, or to you?” Sherry arched an eyebrow.
“Zack. Believe me, I learned my lesson the hard way. The first time Edward calls with one of his schemes, Quinn will be heading back to Chicago.”
“Now that he knows about Zack, do you really think Quinn will ignore him?”
She hesitated, then sighed. “Probably not.”
Sherry shrugged. “Then if you really don’t care about him, and he leaves, your problems are solved. Zack will still have his father and you’ll get that divorce and marry Jared. That is what you want, isn’t it?”
“Of course it is.” Her brows lowered. Except she’d promised Quinn another chance. A promise she was honor-bound to keep, even knowing he’d leave again. Suddenly she felt like a high-wire walker, trying to juggle bowling pins while maintaining her balance. Or maybe a bone caught between two hungry dogs. Quinn or Jared. Jared or Quinn. Both pulling at her. Confusion had her dizzy. Confusion and the abrupt realization that she would have to choose between them. No one else could do this for her, and no matter what her decision, someone was going to be hurt. This wasn’t a game or a nightmare she would wake from.
Somehow, she was going to have to make an honest attempt at this marriage without risking her heart or her son’s. And that meant keeping Quinn at a physical distance, because she could no longer trust her traitorous body. She’d let her heart rule when she’d married Quinn, but now it was different. This was a decision she would have to make with her head, for all their sakes.
The sound of tires crunching on gravel brought her out of her thoughts to find Sherry studying her. “You still love him, don’t you?”
Lanie gave her a wry smile. “He’s Zack’s father. I suppose a part of me can’t help loving him. This would be a lot easier if I didn’t.”
“Hey, in ten years you’ll look back on all this and wonder what all the fuss was about. Well, my next group is here. Are you going to be okay?”
“In ten years, maybe. Need some help saddling up?” Lanie made herself hold the smile in spite of her dismay. Would she be able to look back and know she’d made the right choice? God, she hoped so.
“Nope. Already got the horses ready. You might want to take a look at that cut on Clipper’s leg, though. He keeps trying to chew the bandage off.”
“It’s probably starting to itch. I’ll put something on it.” She headed for the gelding’s stall as Sherry went to greet the carload of guests.
* * * * *
Quinn walked down the front steps to meet the maroon van that had pulled to a stop in front of the house. Before he reached it the door opened and Zack tumbled out, turning to throw a taunt at the other back seat occupant.
“See? I told you my Dad was here!”
A pretty brunette rounded the front of the van, smiling. “You must be Mr. McAllister. Zack has been talking about you all day.” She held out a hand. “I’m Kelsey George. I work for the daycare center. And this,” she pointed back into the van, “is my son, Billy.”
Quinn glanced at the child staring at him. There was something vaguely familiar about the red hair, one sprig standing straight up in the back, and the freckle-strewn face.
“Hi, Billy.” He arched a brow at the woman. “George. Any relation to Ethan?”
Kelsey’s smile widened. “He’s my husband and he was thrilled to discover you’re back. He’s constantly telling Billy and Zack stories about ‘the good old days’ when you two were growing up. I suspect you’ll be hearing from him soon.”
“Great. I was planning on looking him up later this week.”
“Dad.” Zack tugged on his arm. “Can we go see the puppies now?”
“First, you need to go put your backpack up,” Lanie answered his question as she stopped beside them and ruffled Zack’s hair before he ran into the house.
Quinn’s gaze met hers and he stifled a grin when her cheeks flushed. He’d made it a point to stay out of her way this afternoon, give her time to think about what had happened in the kitchen.
She looked away hurriedly. “Hi, Kelsey. How’s Billy?”
“He’s fine. The doctor said it was just a cold.” The brunette climbed back into the van. “Don’t forget, you promised to make some of your applesauce cookies for the kids tomorrow.”
“I won’t.” Lanie waved. “They’ll be ready in the morning.”
“Cookies?” Quinn kept his gaze on her hopefully as the van left.
?
??Yes.”
“Lots of cookies?”
She laughed. “Yes, lots of cookies. There will be plenty left after I box the ones for the daycare. You always did have a sweet tooth.”
“Only where your cookies are concerned. Can I lick the spoon?”
“You’ll have to fight Zack for it.”
Both adults winced as the front door slammed shut with a loud bang. Zack careened down the steps and grabbed Quinn’s hand, tugging him toward the path leading to the barn. “Come on, Dad. Let’s go.”
“Right behind you, champ.”
“I’ll walk with you. I’ve still got a few things left to do in the stable.”
“Need some help?” Quinn matched his steps to hers, watching his son dart ahead.
“No, I just have to turn the horses out to pasture for the night. Sherry usually does it, but I let her go home early this evening. Jonesy had a doctor’s appointment.”
“How is Jonesy?”
She smiled. “Cantankerous as ever. He lives with Sherry now that he’s retired. Spends all his time fishing and talking with his friends about how ranching has gone to hell in a handbasket. He drops by occasionally to tell me I’m doing everything wrong.”
“That’s Jonesy.” Quinn laughed. “He’s another one I’ll have to stop and say hello to.”
“You’ll probably see him at the Spotted Horse first. He’s there every weekend.”
“Yeah?” He glanced at her speculatively. “How about if we go Friday night? It might be fun.”
“I don’t know, Quinn. What about Zack?”
“Martha will be here. She can take care of him. We can ask Duncan and Sherry to go with us if you’d like.”
She hesitated at the door of the stable. “Duncan doesn’t like me.”
“He doesn’t know you yet and Duncan is always a little standoffish with strangers at first. Give him time.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but Quinn had an idea what the problem was. Duncan knew his history, knew the kind of hell he had gone through. Now he was probably worried it would all start again if this attempt with Lanie didn’t work out. Maybe he needed to have a talk with Dunc.