Jason had his back to the door and watched Katie tossing, trying to get comfortable. She’d been so soft and her smell was a memory he couldn’t help but feel comfortable with. He’d actually felt aroused when her body had been pressed tight against his. He hadn’t thought about Katie in that way before, at least he’d tried not to. He’d tried for years to think of her as the little sister he’d never had, but to be honest with himself, ever since they’d been roommates he had struggled with it. Watching her walk around their small apartment in nothing but a silk robe or towel, he’d had a hard time keeping the sister thought in his mind.
He had thought she didn’t think about him that way, but that kiss at the party had awakened more desires than he knew what to do with. It had been hard that night, holding still through a kiss, when all he wanted to do was lock the door and take her against it.
Then everything had been taken out of his hands. When they had met at the coffee shop, he was trying to build up enough nerve to tell her how he felt. But she just kept saying it had been a mistake, and he didn’t know what to do. Then her mother had called and, well, everything had changed.
Now as he watched her sleep, something he’d done plenty of times over the years, he couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t done something about it earlier.
He remembered getting upset at several of his buddies when they’d tried to hit on her. He’d made it clear that she was off limits. Now he wondered why he’d done that, if he’d had other reasons than simply protecting her like a sister, like he used to think. Maybe it was his way of keeping her to himself.
He remembered the one boyfriend she’d had in college. The relationship had been short lived, thanks to him. Ken had been a good friend, and when he’d asked Katie out, Jason had been visiting his mother in Maine that weekend. When he’d returned on Monday morning, he’d walked into their apartment to see Ken walking out of the bedroom. Katie was in the shower and Ken had a look on his face like he’d planned the whole thing for while Jason was out of town. Jason had thrown him against the wall and told him to leave and never return.
He told himself all that next month that it was for the best. Katie had been sad and upset that Ken hadn’t called her back, but after a few weeks, she returned to her normal self. Ken was an okay guy, but Jason knew that he was stringing along two other girls at that time. Katie deserved better than that.
Back then, Katie had always kept her dark hair longer and she had worn the finest clothes. She’d been the type of girl who had never really left the house without looking her best. Now he looked over and noticed she didn’t have a drop of makeup on, and her hair, he chuckled lightly, was coated with a dusting of flour. Her clothes looked worn and very comfortable, and he couldn’t remember her looking better.
Shifting his weight and trying to get more comfortable, he remembered the one kiss he had shared with her. He remembered the softness of her lips and remembered how soft she felt just a while ago, against the wall, as he held her there. Closing his eyes, he remembered feeling her chest against his as they gasped for breath. She was small and had always felt just right in his arms. He used to chalk it up to friendship, that they had known each other forever, but he knew it was more than that.
He wondered if he had acted differently back at the party, if they would have ended up somewhere else, rather than hiding out in a storage closet, sleeping on flour bags, and running from thugs who probably wanted him dead, and Katie for ransom.
It was the only explanation he could think of and he itched to step outside and make a phone call, but he knew that Katie was a very light sleeper. He didn’t want to explain who he was calling and why, so he would just have to wait until he heard the light, little snore he knew so well before sneaking out to give an update on their predicament.
If she knew that her mother was the person he’d been checking in with, he was sure she wouldn’t follow him to Rome. Which was where he was sure they needed to go now that there were men after her. She needed the protection of her family and her closest family was in Rome. He didn’t know Damiano and didn’t want to take the chance of trusting him. He started thinking of how they’d get to Rome in the fastest way possible.
He knew she was upset at her mom. Hell, he’d been upset at her to begin with. But things had changed when she had opened up to him one day over lunch. He’d actually sat and listened to her and he could see the changes Kathleen had made. She was different and he couldn’t deny that she’d changed for the better. So he’d gone on this journey with her backing him the entire way. It wasn’t that he needed her money; he had plenty himself. But he was going to look for Katie, anyway, and if he didn’t have to touch his money while doing it, why not take the extra help. Besides, the only real cost had been hotel rooms.
Looking at Katie asleep on the pile of bags, he remembered seeing her for the first time. He had watched her walk across the hot cement around the country club’s pool. She had walked towards the slide with her head held high, like she owned the place. He’d been intrigued then, so he’d watched her, and seen her laugh, seen the joy she’d experienced falling down the slide. Then when she’d hit the water, he’d watched her struggle to swim to the side of the pool.
It had just been luck that he’d been watching her that day, but he still didn’t know why his eight-year-old mind had locked onto her.
He still didn’t know why she was the one person he still cared more about in this world than anyone else. At first their relationship had just been friendly. Actually, she’d annoyed him at first. He had tried everything to get rid of her at the country club. He’d begged his mom to not go every day or at least at different times. But it had never failed. Every time they drove up, she’d been standing there, waiting for him.
He remembered one time trying to go in through the back gate, just to avoid her. It was like she had a radar. She’d been there at the back gate that day, waiting. It wasn’t until almost three months later, when a few other boys he’d been hanging out with made fun of her, teasing her about something, that he’d finally started looking for her each time. He didn’t like having a little girl following him, but he hated bullies even more.
Two years later he realized how much she’d come to mean to him as a friend. He’d tried out for basketball in junior high; he’d made the JV team and was upset that he hadn’t made varsity. When he’d gotten back to his locker, there was a small note from Katie. He still had the note tucked away in an old shoe box in his mother’s attic. She’d told him how proud she’d been that he made the team, and he’d felt like a fool for not being happy about what he’d accomplished. Thirty-six other boys hadn’t made the cut. She’d always grounded him like that, letting him see the things that had been truly important, instead of just the things he had thought had been important.
When he’d started looking at girls in a different way, she’d been there and never once had he thought of her in that way. He thought she’d treated him like she’d treated her brother. Looking back at it now, he could see the differences. He must have been blind to the fact that she’d held him higher than she held her brother. She’d had something more for him, just like he’d always had something more for her. He’d just never had a name for the feeling.
Now he realized that she had always been more than just his best friend, she was the only person he had ever completely trusted in his entire life. He felt terrible for keeping things from her, but he knew he needed to in order to get her where he wanted her. What he was struggling with now was that where he wanted her was starting to change in his mind. He had been thinking about wanting her in places he’d never imagined before.
Shaking his head clear, he tried to close his eyes and his mind and get some rest. They were going to have a very busy day ahead of them.