“He is.” She agreed with a firm nod. “Michael keeps making fun of me because I admitted that months ago.”
“You admitted to your boyfriend you find his brother hot?” did that only sound crazy to him? Apparently, yes.
“Yeah, why not it’s not like anything would happen. He likes guys.” Julienne said innocently, seeing no problem at all and if Michael was teasing her then he didn’t mind it either.
“Here comes the million dollar question; what am I going to do?”
Chapter 6
Nick sat there unable to muster up any energy to drive back to school. Class had already started and would be a lost cause anyway, to show up late and embarrassed.
“You could try talking to him.” Julienne suggested after five minutes of silence.
“It wouldn’t matter, it’s not like this is just some crush and all would end well if he likes me back. I can’t be gay.” He had never said the words before, to classify himself as gay, it was strangely gratifying on top of the mind numbing fear he couldn’t shake.
“You can’t hide from it either.”
“I already get so much abuse from them because they only suspect it. What do you think will happen if I admit it?” It pained him to know his family couldn’t support him, they were against every decision he made. He rebelled to a point with the piercings and tattoos but to come out of the closet, no, that Nick couldn’t do.
“Leave there.” Julienne didn’t hide the desperation dripping along her voice.
“And go where? I don’t have anywhere else.” Sure, he crashed at her place time to time but he couldn’t do that forever. He worked part-time on the campus library except again, that wasn’t enough to get his own place and still take his classes.
She sighed and banged her head back on the seat. “I’ll come up with something.” Her voice was full of promise and he loved her for it.
“You have to keep this to yourself. I don’t want anyone knowing.” He knew she wasn’t a blabbermouth but still, he wanted to make sure she wouldn’t say anything and risk it getting back to the wrong person.
“You know I’ll do whatever you need.” She reached over and held his hand tight. “But you can’t keep going like this, you know from watching me that holding these things in only creates a problem.” Julienne ran away from her private demons until one day they got the best of her and she slit her wrist.
“I just need some time to think.” Nick wasn’t sure if that was true because right now he didn’t think he’d ever he’d be able to admit his truth. To be able to come out of the shadows and into the real world.
Shane went through the rest of his classes hoping to catch Nick in the halls, but no suck luck. He spotted Julienne but she was on her way home before he could ask her about Nick. Shane was sulking by the time he got home himself, he wanted to know that Nick was ok. Maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut, except at the same time, he wanted to offer his friendship, to let Nick know he was there for him if he’d need it.
“What should we have for dinner?” his mother asked from the living room while he shut the front door. “I’m thinking pizza.”
“If you don’t want to cook, don’t cook. You paid your dues along time ago.” Shane made sure to slap on his best charming smile. He didn’t want his mom asking twenty questions again if she caught wind of his sour mood. His bad mood had nothing to do with him or his family, therefore it made no sense to inflict it on them.
“Cooking is overrated. How was your day?”
“Good, not as much homework today. Is Michael home?”
“No, I think he’s stalking Julienne.”
“She’s still mad at him?” Shane asked with a laugh. His brother’s relationship was better than any sitcom on TV.
“I think they always find a way to be mad at each other. It works for them.” she shrugged. “Speaking of my sons and their love life….”
Dread filled his chest. “Mom, no.”
“I know you are studying and being a good boy but you need to have fun too.”
“After the epic mistake I made with Scott I’m not ready to get back out there.” He confessed weakly, his mother was the only person to know the details of what went wrong.
“By hiding you’re letting him win. I understand that you’re not ready but it’s been a year, I don’t want you hiding that you miss a chance at something wonderful.”
“Thanks mom, really.” Saving him from continuing this conversation was a knock on the front door. Still standing in front of it, Shane turned and answered to find Julienne waiting on the other side. “Michael’s not home.”
“I’m not looking for him, I’m looking for you.” she was nervous with a crooked smile. “Let’s talk outside.”
“Ok.” Shane said slowly, dropping his bag on the living room floor to follow her outside.
“Michael mentioned you were looking for your own place but you were still saving up. Maybe you should get a roommate and find that place now.” Her nervous ticks were on display, she kept looking at the ground then back up at him for a short second. The way she was rambling reminded him of Nick.
“Julianne.” He waited until she dragged her grey eyes off the grass and looked at him for longer than that second. “What is going on?”
“Nothing, I was just thinking and got an idea. You need a place…..Nick needs a place.”
“You want Nick to be my roommate?” Shane saw the words she wasn’t using. He thought of the bruise on Nick’s back, how he never wanted to go home. If Julienne wanted him to leave home then she must be scared for his safety.
“Well, you guys are getting along and it’s time you leave home before you become some cat lady.” Her tone was awkward and endearing, she was nervous and uncomfortable yet she was going through it for her friend.
“You’re right.” Shane said. “I love it here but sometimes, especially with Michael nagging me, I want my own space.” It wasn’t a bad idea, it was a great idea, and the only reason he wasn’t jumping with excitement was the fact he didn’t know if living with Nick was something Nick would want. Shane knew he was developing a dangerous crush on him already and sharing a home might not be the best idea either.
“Yeah…so I was looking and found something close to school that you should check out.”
That was fast, he thought, and understood her rush. It was pretty obvious what she wanted him to say next. “Do you want me to see it now?”
“Yes! We can go together in your car.” Julienne didn’t drive.
He couldn’t find the words to deny her or deny the need she had to help Nick, because he was sharing that same need. “Sure, let’s go.”
Chapter 7
Two hours later, Shane found himself putting down a deposit and signing a lease. Julienne could be very quiet and shy, then there were times she was a spitfire, she wasn’t letting him leave this place until he signed papers with the real estate agent. There were even some threats she used, he was sure she picked that up from Michael.
The real estate woman shook his hand, handed him a pair of keys, and wished him luck all while wearing a huge smile before leaving him alone with Julienne.
“You bullied me into this.” Shane told his brother’s girlfriend. His head was still spinning from the whiplash, this transaction happened way too fast. This morning his biggest worry was time management to juggle all his classes, how he had his own apartment to worry about. The biggest worry was rent.
Julienne gasped. “No I didn’t, I simply present you with good facts.” She was cute as a button when she pouted, it was really no wonder Michael fell in love with her.
“It’s a great deal, you were right about that, but I can’t do it alone.” this was his biggest fear, he entered this agreement with hope and not facts. Shane didn’t work like that and now that the deal was signed, he was regretting not taking a moment to think first.
“Nick will say yes, trust me. I could’ve built a cardboard box and he would’ve moved i
nto it.”
His heart started to drop with sadness for the boy he was doing this all for. “Is it that bad with his parents?”
Julienne got the look that said she realized she said too much. “They argue, what family doesn’t? Nick is just sick of it and doesn’t want to have to change himself again because he lives with them.” Her words felt unfinished but at the same time Shane understood she was loyal to her best friend and wouldn’t break that trust.
The lease was signed, there was no more turning back. It was time to move forward. “Let’s go back to the house so I can break my mother’s heart.”
When they arrived his mother was in the kitchen cooking after his father talked her into it after all. She wasn’t happy as she stirred the food on the stove. “Where’d you disappear to with Julienne?”
“She wanted to show me something….an apartment she saw in the paper. It’s pretty big, close to the campus, and a steal of a price.” Shane didn’t know how to break the news without cringing. It was a wonder how Michael could lie as easily as breathing, while Shane couldn’t even break bad news without it showing across his face.
Patricia Gregory slowly turned away from the stove and looked up at her tall son. “You’re moving?”
“Mom, we knew this day would come. We talked about how I would stay long enough save money to branch out on my own.” Shane was quick with his words, he hated seeing her upset. His mom was his best friend. “It’s close; I’ll visit everyday and steal food from you.”
She threw her hands in the air. “Now I have to keep cooking everyday.”
Shane laughed with relief, if she was joking then that meant she was ok with the move, maybe. He stepped forward and gave her a tight hug. “You know you love it.”
Nick was camped out in his room when he got a text from Julienne demanding that he meet her at the Gregory residence. He told her no and his phone rang barely fifteen seconds later. “Julienne, I don’t feel like going over there.”
“Why, because Shane suspected the truth about your folks? Or because you might confess your undying love?”
“You’ve been with Michael too long, you’re turning into a bitch.”
“I love you and you know that. I’m trying to do what’s best for you.”
“How does it help me if I go over there?” Nick asked, his curiosity was peaked even if it terrified him to see Shane.
“I have a surprise and this is just where I happen to be.”
He knew she was lying; her voice changed tons when she lied. “Julienne….”
“You trust me right? Then get your pretty ass over here.” She hung up after that.
Nick shook his head, yeah Michael definitely was rubbing off on her. Nick had never been able to tell her no and he wasn’t going to start now. He climbed out of his bed and pulled his sneaker back on.
He was halfway to the door when his uncle’s deep voice broke the air. “Where are you going?”
“Julienne needs my help with something.” Nick mumbled. He hated how loudly and bubby his personality was in the street but at home he cowered into a tiny shell of his normal self. Living in his house was breaking his spirit.
“Couldn’t be her bra strap because you couldn’t find that with the light on and with two hands.” He was always saying stuff like that. “She’s a hot piece of ass, too bad you don’t know what to do with it.”
Nick started seeing red, he was used to his uncle talking shit about him but it was wrong to bring Julienne into it. “Leave her out of this.” he growled.
“Or what? Are you itching to get dealt with again?” Jim Straits stood from his spot on the couch, he was a big man at over six foot and weighing over three hundred pounds.
What Nick had on his side was speed, he was close to the door and could haul ass, and his uncle could never keep up. “I’ll be back later.” His movements were quick out of the house, he could hear his uncle yelling their conversation wasn’t over.
Within the next ten minutes he was pulling up to the Gregory family home. His stomach tightened and he started to feel sick from how nervous he was. Julienne was standing on the porch waiting for him, along with Shane. Just great.
As he got out to face them, he was glad he had his best friend on his side at least and she knew the truth about what he was feeling. If need be she could bail him out of any awkward moment. “Hey, what was so urgent?” he asked Julienne.
Julienne jumped right into it. “I was apartment shopping with Shane here,” she pointed to the taller man with her thumb. “and he found this amazing place but he’d need a roommate to afford it comfortably so I told him I knew the perfect person….”
Nick’s eyes all but fell out of his head. “No.” why the hell would she suggest him as a roommate knowing how he felt romantically about Shane?
“Yes.” Julienne said, a tense smile pulling at her mouth. “I pushed him into signing the lease. You don’t want him to be stuck with a place he can’t afford and go hungry, do you?”
He stared into her grey yes and couldn’t believe what he saw. “Are you blackmailing me?” Nick was completely shocked.
“She’s good at it.” Shane chimed in.
Nick shook his head, still not completely believing this. “You’ve been around Michael too long.”
Shane agreed. “That’s what I said.”
“See!” Julienne exclaimed. “You guys get along great and you share a lot of the same people in your life, it’d be great.”
Nick looked toward Shane for the first time and tried to calm the increased heart rate it brought on. “What do you think?” he knew Julienne was the mastermind behind all this but he didn’t want to cave and then have Shane regret him for it.
Shane smiled shyly, a small smile that had Nick breathless all over again. “I need a roommate, that’s true, and I can’t think of anyone better than you right now.”
Nick started feeling like a wussy girl who grew lighthearted when the gorgeous guy looked her way. “Ok.” There was nothing else he could say, he couldn’t deny up the perfect opportunity in front of him. He could finally leave home and that was all that mattered. He could survive living with Shane. He just had to be careful to keep his feelings to himself and avoid Shane Gregory at all costs. Yeah, piece of cake.
Chapter 8
When Shane told Michael about the move, he was surprised to see how upset it made his younger brother. “You got your own place? That fast? What the fuck?” Michael demanded, his arms crossed tight over his chest and his blue eyes ablaze with anger.
Shane lowered the book he had been reading. “Why are you having a cow?”
Michael groaned. “Now who am I going to talk to?”
Shane smiled and realized even though Michael could be a huge pain in the ass, he loved him. “We can still talk, there are phones.”
Michael walked over and punched him on the arm. “I want a key.” He stormed off after that. Shane laughed as he picked up his book and kept reading
Nick sat with Julienne at the park bench. “Now tell me the truth about this whole roommate thing.”
She looked at him, her eyes serious. “I told you I’d come up with something. I promised you and I like to keep them. I know it might be uncomfortable for you but it’ll be a hell of a lot better than you staying with your aunt.” Tears glossed her eyes at the harsh reality that created her reasoning.
In an offer of comfort, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Thank you.”
“I want to kill them for hurting you.” she cried. “You don’t deserve it.”
“If I could’ve just been normal….” Nick thought about it often, if he could’ve just been a normal boy, would they have loved him? If they could finally stop the verbal and physical abuse, could they be a real family?
“No! Don’t you dare do that. You taught me that there isn’t a problem with us, it’s the problem they aren’t willing to face about themselves. There is not a fucking thing wrong with you.” her tears came harder as
her anger soared. She stared at him and as quickly as her rant came, it was gone and she started to laugh.
“Are you losing it again Jules?”
“Maybe, I was thinking we should go back to Florida and let Mrs. Robinson have her way with you and maybe on the side, Dr. Sharon can give you sessions so you can stop telling me you aren’t normal. You’re the most normal person I know.”
Nick smiled as he remembered the summer he spent with her in Florida while she was in that rehab. He had never felt freer. “Thanks.” He held her close and together they stared at the stars with their worries taking a backseat.
That Saturday Nick agreed with Shane to move into their new place.
Nick was stealthy about it, he packed his clothes and a few other items into his car and left while his aunt and uncle were at work. He left a note on the kitchen table wishing them luck and said his goodbye. He knew he couldn’t sit them down and explain the whole situation to them, leaving like this was the best option.
Getting Shane moved out was a different story. His parents doted on him and wished he wouldn’t go. Even Michael was sad. For some reason it was amazing for Nick to see even bad boy Michael upset that his big brother was moving out. The Gregory family wasn’t thrilled with Shane leaving, but they didn’t stop him.
Nick helped them move the furniture from Shane’s room into the moving truck. He was leaning against his car taking a break when Mrs. Gregory came and stood next to him. “You’re done moving you’re stuff that fast?”
“It was just a few things.” He was wary, why was she interested?
“Nick, I’ve been a mother of two boys for a very long time. I know things and I know a few things means some clothes and that’s it. You can’t just sleep on the floor.” Damn, this woman was good.
“Mrs. Gregory—”
“I have some furniture just gathering dust in the garage, you’d be doing me a favor if you took it.”
Nick stared at this woman and felt a ton of regret, why couldn’t he have a mother like this? Shane and Michael had no idea how lucky they were. “Thank you.”