Chapter Six – Time With Andrew
“May I join you?” Andrew inquires without a hint of his earlier outrage.
Opening my eyes, his closeness surprises me. His breathtaking, porcelain face just inches from mine, no longer holds the strain of last night, nor do his eyes encase the storm clouds they had earlier. Instead they are tantamount to a crystal clear turquoise sky. Weren’t his eyes gray? Staring at his resplendent profile, I can’t slow my racing pulse.
“Do you mind if I sit?” His eyes search mine.
“No” my voice sounds breathless.
“How is your first day?” He stares as if he’s truly interested.
His gaze sends tingles down my spine. I force my eyes down to the pavement in hopes of calming my raging heart. “This place feels more like a country club than a hospital. Even the treatment method is informal.”
“Since our patients are past proven treatments, the founders decided to approach this more as a sanctuary for the sick as opposed to treating them like test rats. We also ensure our terminal patients do not die alone.” He pauses. “I saw you talking to William, he is quite an artist.”
“Yes he is.”
“Did you see the lighthouse he painted? That’s my sister’s favorite.”
“Eva is your sister?” My voice cuts through the serenity.
“She didn’t tell you?”
“No, she never mentioned she had a brother!”
“This facility engages our entire family.”
As my mouth falls open, I see a slight smile lift the corners of his perfectly formed lips.
“How many are in your family?”
His jaw tightens. “There are eleven of us.”
That at least explains their similar complexions, but why they aren’t all models living it up in New York instead of living here in seclusion escapes me. “Are you all doctors?”
“Only five of my siblings are in patient care while the others are in administration and research.” Sadness resonates in his reply.
“You’re all siblings?”
“No, two are my brothers-in-law and sister-in-law.”
Remembering how the records showed them coming at different times, I become curious. “How did you all come to be here?”
His sky, blue eyes bore into mine, reflecting the heavens, mesmerizing me. “This has been a family owned facility for almost one hundred fifty years.”
“Your family owns this facility, Eva never mentioned that!” Remembering how my parents’ careers dictated my occupation, I wonder if Eva and Andrew were compelled to follow a path leading to this place. As Eva’s encouraging words to follow my dreams ring through my ears, my heart grows heavy as I question if she knew her own fate was sealed.
Andrew’s soft utterance interrupts my brooding. “What are you thinking?”
Sadness rips through me. “I was wondering if the course leading here was thrust upon you.”
Rising his perfect features somber saying it all. I’ve upset him, but his tender voice beckons as his eyes fill with some unknown emotion. “Come, take a walk with me.”
My heart quickens, but I have to take John. “I’d love to, but I’m escorting John to Catherine in a few minutes. Besides, Eva said you were meeting Amber’s family.”
“Eva’s right, your memory is very good. They’ve been delayed, their car broke down. Why don’t we get John and then I can show you around.”
“I think I’m supposed to stay with him.”
He grins. “Catherine stays with him in that small room.”
Entering, Jackson catches sight of Andrew. “How are you doing? Eva told me about Amber.”
Andrew’s voice fills with sadness. “I wish we could have saved her! I just can’t understand His plan sometimes. Doesn’t it ever bother you to have so much power and not be able to use it to do what’s right?”
Jackson’s hand moves to Andrew’s shoulder and he relaxes as unspoken words appear to pass between them.
“We have to get John, I’ll see you later.”
Walking down the hall, Andrew is so close beside me that I can almost feel his hand brush against mine. Looking up, he is glancing at me sideways. Forcing my eyes back down, I catch his hand flex before he thrusts it in his side pocket. My pulse races…Stop! He’s an accomplished physician from a wealthy family. He could never be interested in you. As my internal debate rages, the image of Andrew’s anguished face as I lay cold, whispering something which now lingers at the edges of my conscious memory trying to break through causes me to wonder if there ever could more.
John’s vivacious voice interrupts my distraction. I’m vaguely aware that they are talking about Amber and John is mentioning how Andrew always talks about their finding serenity reuniting with loved ones in the peaceful gardens.
My distraction dissipates as Andrew’s teeth snap. He forces a smile, but his eyes hold the sadness of a hundred lifetimes. “Thank you John.”
We leave John with Catherine who informs me that Eva requested I wait for her before seeing other patients.
“Let’s take that walk. It will help me clear my head before Amber’s family arrives.”
Stepping outside, I glance toward the sun and then to him. His eyes are as blue as the heavens, glistening like multifaceted crystals, no longer holding a hint of gray. He is mesmerizing. His exquisite profile belongs on a sculpture, adorning a great hall, not walking next to me.
“Did Eva show you around?” Catching my gaze, he adorns sun glasses.
“I met Teri over at the recreation building, she is quite a swimmer.”
“She loves the freedom it gives her.”
“Has she ever waivered from claiming an angel saved her?” When he doesn’t respond, I look up. He appears distracted. “What are you thinking?”
“I was wondering what it feels like to be truly free…Oh” His distraction vaporizes. “Mia, I’m sorry. Let me show you the terminal unit.” Moving up the path, he holds the door.
We step into a grand foyer, complete with stone fireplace.
A faint rainbow from a stained glass window settles upon an oversized painting. A sigh escapes from my lips as my eyes gaze upon a golden haired angel with the daintiest, picturesque, pale face looking up toward wispy clouds. Her wings stretch the length of the picture. She nestles a young, sandy haired child in her arms; a soft, golden light only slightly duller than the light painted above the clouds, encircles them. Scanning the picture, I notice the angel stepping on an odd shaped thunder cloud. Moving closer, I realize it isn’t a cloud. She’s crushing a shadowy, inverted, petite, mirrored version of herself, engulfed in a dark shadow with just a hint of redness around the rim, reminding me of extinguishing embers.
Andrew’s gentle voice interrupts my preoccupation. “I see you’ve noticed the angel who watches over this house.”
I’m awestruck. “I know the artist, don’t I?”
“His delineations are quite unique.” He sounds like a proud parent. “He loves to paint in the open air, that’s his freedom.” His voice fills with longing reminding me of our earlier conversation. I wonder if he and his siblings knew, growing up that their future would be robbed! Melancholy washes over me like a tidal wave as I contemplate how the charitable nature of one generation in creating a sanctuary for others, doomed future generations, plucking the choice from them before they were even a twinkle in their parents’ eyes. Tears prick my eyes. I turn hoping he won’t see.
He moves closer to me. “It’s a powerful painting meant to invoke a potent response.”
Looking up, his picturesque face is aglow with the soft flickering colors from the stained glass window making him appear as beautiful as the angel. A vision of Andrew gently caressing my cheek, staring down at me with such love and affection as we stand amongst the mist flashes before my eyes, unfurling a deep desire I never felt before. Feeling the heat creep into my cheeks, I tear my eyes from his. My voice is breathy. “It must be very difficult
for William to find his freedom during the long winters here.”
“Come with me, I want to show you something.” Ascending two flights of stairs, we cross the attic, stopping before a dark paneled door. Stepping inside a moderate, glass enclosed room; we are surrounded by sketches, paintings and easels, but I’m drawn to the treetops outside whose red, orange and golden leaves meld. I’m staring at a flameless forest fire in the middle of a raging thunderstorm. Overhead, dark electric clouds crackle. A bolt of lightning bursts before us. I jump, but Andrew is unaffected. “Beautiful isn’t it? Nothing can compare to the spectacle of watching electrical charges unfolding from the deepest, heaviest clouds just before the first rays of sun break through the waning clouds shining on God’s country.” His voice is wondrous. I can’t help but stare at his breathtaking face, now serene, peaceful like a sleeping child. A sigh escapes my lips as unparalleled desire unfurls deep within me, sending scorching blood coursing through my veins. I ache to reach out and intertwine our fingers and have him wrap his strong arms around me as I lean into his broad chest. I close my eyes hoping to dispel this feeling. He’s my boss. I came here to straighten out my life and despite their pretending not to know of my accident, this beautiful place is fast feeling like home. I can’t do anything that will cause me to leave.
Mistakenly, taking my reaction for fear, he pulls over a bench, sits and taps the seat. “You’re perfectly safe here.” His voice is soft, reassuring, but as I sit beside him, I catch a glimpse of what, desire? I shake my head, I must be mistaken. “So what brought you here to Sanctuary?” His features shift, resonating concern and understanding well beyond his years. Internally I wince worrying what Eva told him about me. Staring into his soulful eyes, my yearning to share with him how experiencing the last moments of a patient driven to the brink helped me break from the course others relentlessly hoisted upon me, surprises me. I cannot speak as years of conflicting emotions war within me, my obstinate nature fighting against my family’s attempts to guide ‘their unfocused child’. Self-doubt engulfs me as I question whether my choices are only a melodramatic overreaction of someone who never grew up. If I tell him what brought me here, will he deem me ridiculous? After all, my parents were driven by the best of intentions. Thinking about it this way, I seem self-pitying, even to myself. Maybe he will think I am in as much need of help as the patients here who refuse to let go of beliefs holding them back.
His gentle voice interrupts my internal self-loathing. “Mia, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, I just want you to know that Eva is not the only one you can talk to. She and I are very close. When she returned from Boston, she spoke very highly of you and has even shared some of your emails with me.” He stops; his eyes intently searching mine as if he’s debating whether to continue. His expression turns distant. His voice drops to a low murmur and I speculate he is thinking of his own failed plight. “If you’ve spoken to someone whose perceptions are clouded by conflicted loyalties, they may inadvertently have made you feel worthless and even more isolated for taking a different path. I know from experience that the best person to talk to is one with no preconceived notions, someone who can assure you that trusting your instincts and your heart is your best guide.”
A flash of lightening illuminates the room. In that instant, a glow encircles Andrew, similar to that of the angel and the one surrounding him as he perched over me after my accident. My subconscious shouts louder than ever before. “Stop being ridiculous, don’t let your imagination get carried away!”
Andrew stands up, crosses the room and leans against the glass wall. He’s engulfed in some deep, far away thought.
I rise. Crossing the room, I stumble, bringing an easel down upon me. Embarrassed, I try to right myself. Andrew moves quickly to help me, his nose flares, and his features turn grave. “You’re hurt.” He states alarmed.
I try to stand. “I’m fine, just clumsy.”
Pulling a bench toward me, “Mia sit down!”
Heat colors my cheeks as I see the blade of a palette knife lodged deep in my leg, a pool of blood forming on my pants.
“Mia, put pressure right above the area and I’ll get a first aid kit. Will you be alright?” He’s anxious.
Wanting to hide after making such a spectacle of myself, I try to joke. “I didn’t even know I stabbed myself until you became anxious. Besides, I am a doctor.”
He returns faster than humanly possible. My cheeks turn crimson as he cuts my pant leg. His gloved hands feel unnaturally cold, but he relaxes. “You’ll need stitches, but it didn’t hit an artery. I can do it here or carry you downstairs.”
The thought of his carrying me and the staff seeing this horrifies me. “I’ve been enough trouble, if you could just do it here.”
He disappears for another all too short moment. Before I know it, he’s done. Stunned by his swiftness, I take in a jagged breath.
“Am I hurting you?” Concern fills his voice.
“You’re very gentle. Your swiftness just surprised me.” Watching him gather the instruments, I feel supple fingers gently gliding up my calf, caressing my leg. My heart warms and I flush. No one is touching me.
Looking up, he is shaking his head as if trying to rid himself of some unwelcomed thought. “I should help you back to your room. Would you like me to carry you?”
“Certainly not, I want to follow up with John and William.” Hobbling toward the stairs I hear him stifle a giggle. Looking down, I notice surgical tape stuck to my buttocks and can’t help but laugh.
“Although I admire your dedication, you may want to change…No go like that; you will give them a giggle.” His radiant smile stops my heart.
I feign offense and hobble down the stairs.
Instantly, he is beside me, trepidation registers in his voice. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Turning, I meet his worried gaze, “I’m sorry. I was just trying to relieve my embarrassment.”
He relaxes. “I’m sorry I laughed, I could see John laughing when he saw you. Let me help you to your room, it’s still raining out.”
Before I can respond, Eva is heading our way. “Andrew, Amber’s family just pulled through the gates.” She turns to me. “What happened?”
“Nothing, just me being clumsy; I’m on my way to check on John and William.”
I didn’t realize Andrew left until I see him walking back with Jackson; drying his glistening hair. “Jackson will help you back. The courtyard is slippery.” He turns to Eva. “Gabriel suggested we talk in their suite.” An unspoken understanding passes between them before they scurry out.
Jackson and I walk slowly. “Would you like to lean on me?”
“Thank you, but I can manage.” Jackson tries to keep us covered, but the wind gusts ensure we get drenched.
“Call room two when you’re ready and I’ll walk back with you.”
“You don’t have to wait, I’ll be fine.”
His expression turns serious. “Andrew instructed me not to let you walk outside alone.”
Stepping through the door, I realize two is Eva’s room. I call out. “Jackson, what number did you say?”
“Call room two.”
Dressing quickly, I dial two. Eva’s machine picks up. I hang up and dial again. “Mia, I’ll be right there.”
Opening the door Jackson is holding a black shalalie. He’s grinning; his exquisite pale features and sky eyes have me wondering if he is another sibling. “I thought you could use this.” Handing it to me, he’s amused.
“Thank you.” I appreciate being able to put my weight on it as we walk back. “Jackson, may I ask you something personal?”
He turns. “Sure, I’m a pretty open book, shoot.”
“Are you Eva and Andrew’s brother?”
He laughs. “No, I’m Eva’s husband. We were married a few months ago.”
My mouth falls open. “I didn’t know. Congratulations.”
Inside, “
Thank you. If you need anything, just ask.”
I nod and head for John’s room.
At midnight, I’m updating files when I hear a soft knock. Assuming its Eva, I call out. “Coming”
Opening the door, Andrew’s tormented features meet mine, his eyes wrought with anguish look thunderstorm gray as opposed to this afternoon’s blue. “I hope I didn’t wake you, but I wanted to see how you are feeling.”
I ache to console this desolate creature. “I’m fine. I thought you were Eva. Please come in, tell me what happened with Amber’s family.”
He hesitates. “It’s late. Eva is staying with Alex and will see you tomorrow.”
Stress radiates off him. Desperate to lessen his agony, “Come in please. You helped me this afternoon. Let me help you now.”
His eyes soften as he steps in.
“I was just about to make some tea, would you like earl grey or green?”
“Anything is fine.”
Andrew is sitting on the couch in deep thought. Placing the cups before him, interrupts his abstraction, his anguished stare says it all.
I fight my overwhelming desire to enfold him in my arms. “How bad was it?”
“Worse than I imagined! Max’s eyes are vacant. When Alex moved, I saw scars on her wrists.” His head falls into his hands. “We’re going to lose her too!”