**
The bell rang three times, snapping me out of my trance and ending the nightmare. I walked through the hall half-dazed, trying to block out any more of my memories of the earthquake. I found my fifth bell class, math. I was taking Advanced Geometry, which was normally an eleventh grade class. Cora always made sure that each new school I attended challenged me.
I sat in the front row, farthest away from the door. I could avoid eye contact with anyone that came in by sitting in this spot. Plus, I didn’t feel like talking with anyone.
My teacher was Coach Hoff, which was good because I was sure he would recognize me and not put me through the new student routine. The bell rang and everyone sat down. Coach Hoff walked in and started reading the attendance sheet, which he had on a clipboard.
“Hoffman.”
“Here.”
“Kramer.”
“Here.”
He missed me altogether. This was far worse than saying I was new because now I would have to raise my hand and get up in front of the class.
Then I heard a name that I did not want to hear. “Mr. Oliver Rails.”
“Yes, present,” said the smug voice from behind me.
“Finally, Ms. Yelling, are you here?” Coach Hoff called.
“Here.”
I slowly began to raise my hand. “Oh, Mr. Nicholas Keller, are you here?”
“Here,” I mumbled, lowering my hand quickly.
“Sorry about that. New students are at the end of the list and . . .” He continued to talk, but I didn’t hear him. His words ran together like gibberish. He said “new student” a couple more times and said something about football. I could feel the stares of the entire class boring holes into the back of my head. Why couldn’t he have just called my name? Oliver being in the class would be hard enough, and this was not helping things either.
It seemed like Coach Hoff talked about me for hours. Finally, he stopped. “Okay, class, we go to lunch at 11:20. You have twenty-five minutes to eat and get your butts back in the seats, ready to learn. See you back here soon.”
I was farthest away from the door, so I pretended to lean down to get stuff out of my backpack, hoping that most of the class would be gone by the time I got up.
“So, Keller is in our class. Aren’t we lucky?” I looked up to see Oliver with one of his buddies from the team standing just a few feet away from me, blocking the door.
“Hey, Oliver,” I said, pretending like we were friends.
“So how did a little tenth grader get into Advanced Geometry?”
“I took geometry at my last school.”
“Oh, a smarty,” his friend laughed. I tried to walk around them. Oliver stepped in front of me, blocking my escape.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
My muscles started to tighten and the fire began to burn.
“Keller, you need to be respectful to your superiors, in here and on the field.”
I looked up at Oliver ready for a fight.
“Oliver, leave him alone,” a female voice rang out from behind him. He looked back at her and that was my chance. I walked by him out of the class. I walked down the busy hall quickly, hoping she could buy me enough time to duck into the bathroom to hide. I walked into the first bathroom I could find, locking the stall door. My muscles began to relax as time passed. I grabbed my Tic Tacs from my pocket and popped some into my mouth. The cool taste calmed my stomach. At this rate I would eat a pack a day here.
What was happening to me? The sickness I usually experienced in the mornings was now happening all the time. I never felt this bad when I was younger, and those days were a lot more stressful. I came out of the stall carefully, making sure to see if the coast was clear. I was alone. I stared at my pale face in the mirror and splashed water on it to gain some composure before going back out.
I walked to the cafeteria watching out for Oliver and his buddy. There were hundreds of kids everywhere eating their lunches. Still, I knew that Oliver would not have a hard time finding me if he wanted to. I would have to hide.
A group of students was in front of me. I hurried up to walk with them to get food. When we got to the food court, I was stunned. They had everything you could ever want to eat and more. It was like a bunch of restaurants all put together right in the middle of the cafeteria. There were at least twenty people working the different lunch lines. They were all dressed in long white coats and hair nets. They looked like they should be in labs, not fixing food. All of the food was prepared for you while you waited. No soggy old food; everything was fresh. They had the basics like hamburgers, pizza, sandwiches, salads, and snack food. In addition to those items, they had Mexican food, Chinese food, and a whole buffet line of different hot dishes. It took me five minutes just to decide on the pizza and fries. With everything that had happened before lunch, I only had five minutes left to eat and get back to class.
I sat down at one of the empty tables off to the side of the enormous lunchroom and began to eat quickly.
“What’s your hurry?”
I turned and looked up with a mouth full of pizza. It was her, my angel.
“Now, don’t choke,” she smiled. “You don’t need to hurry so much. Mr. Hoff always comes back from lunch at least ten minutes late.”
I slowly started to chew my food again, unable to look away from her beautiful blue eyes. She batted them at me and turned and walked away. Her voice was unmistakable. The beautiful girl from the stands and the party was the same one who just defended me. I couldn’t believe it. Maybe my luck was changing.
“Hey, Keller! You on this lunch too?” Eric was walking toward me with what looked like half of the buffet items on his tray. Matt, another guy who I kind of knew from the JV team, was right behind him with a bunch of french fries hanging out of his mouth.
“No, I have to be back in a minute.”
Eric flipped the chair around and sat on it backwards. Matt copied him. “Who do you have this period?” Eric asked.
“I have Coach Hoff.”
“You’re lucky,” Matt said with a mouth full of food. “I heard he sometimes doesn’t even come back from lunch. Most of the varsity team has him for math. At least that’s one class they all pass.”
“Well, Keller, it looks like we will have the same lunch after all,” Eric said.
I was done eating my food a few minutes after they sat down. I started to get up. I didn’t want to take the chance that Coach Hoff was going to be on time this year or risk possibly meeting Oliver in the hall.
“See you guys later at football practice!”
When I got back to class there were only a couple of people sitting in their seats. I guess everyone knew Coach Hoff was notoriously late getting back to class after lunch. Some people were eating at their desks, while others lounged in their seats, talking to each other. I sat down and got out my grammar book to do the assignment that Mrs. Wolfe had given us during third period.
I glanced up to see her, my angel, walk into the class. I looked down, afraid I would be caught staring. She had two friends with her. They all sat down right behind me. Her friends were talking about shopping at the mall and what they wanted to do over the weekend. It was painful to listen to them. They sounded like two chipmunks carrying on a conversation. But when she spoke, her voice was different. It wasn’t like a chipmunk; it was more like an instrument, a harp. She didn’t speak as much as her friends. I didn’t think it was humanly possible to talk as much as they did. She talked in short sentences only to get her point across, not like the other two who just wanted to hear themselves talk. Her voice was soothing. I drifted off, totally relaxed listening to her.
Her voice lingered in my head like clouds on a cool autumn day. I had never heard anything that made me feel the way she did. Her voice affected me the same way seeing her did. I felt at peace. For a minute, I forgot all about the earthquake drill and Oliver.
“Okay, class, sorry I’m late. Let’s get down to it
.” Coach Hoff walked into class with a half-eaten sandwich in one hand and a clipboard in the other. Geometry went quickly. I tried to pay attention to Coach Hoff, but it was useless knowing she was right behind me. The bell rang and the class emptied. I turned to see if she was still in the classroom, but she was gone.
The rest of the day went as fast as the morning. Football practice was shortened. It was raining so hard that we stopped about halfway through, and Coach Miller made us watch tapes of our season opener opponent. I was able to avoid Oliver the whole practice. Eric was not as lucky as I was because Coach Hoff was still upset over their tie and had JV practice the entire time out in the pouring rain. Eric didn’t talk much on the ride home, probably upset that I was so dry.
He dropped me off at the top of my driveway. I ran down the driveway, avoiding the big puddles. Cora was waiting for me at the door with a big plate of chocolate chip cookies.
“So how was your first day?” she asked.
“It was okay.” I took a cookie off the glass platter, dropping my football bag and book bag on the floor.
“What happened?” Cora asked, shutting the door and looking concerned.
“We had an earthquake drill.”
“Oh, Nicholas, I’m so sorry.” She put the plate of cookies down on the small table next to the coat closet. “I didn’t think they would do that here. If I had known, I would have let you skip today for sure. I am sorry you had to relive that day.” Cora gave me a big hug, holding on to me tightly.
When Cora stepped back, I looked at her. “Cora, it’s okay. Really, I’ll be fine.”
“So how was the rest of your day?”
“You know Oliver Rails from football?”
“You mean that bully?”
“Yes. He’s in my geometry class.”
“Did he cause you any trouble?”
“Well, he started to cause some trouble, but . . . it worked itself out.”
“Well, that’s good. So you don’t think he will cause you any more trouble?”
“No, I think everything will be fine.”
She was giving me the “I’ll go switch your class” face.
“Cora, seriously, everything is fine.”
I grabbed my bags, dropped them off in my room, and then headed to the kitchen. Cora was cooking one of her gourmet meals that took hours to make. She had on a light-blue apron that had no spills on it, of course. She had the table set with some rolls in the middle. I grabbed one from the basket and sat down. They were warm and smelled like honey. I put some butter on it and took a bite. The roll melted in my mouth.
“Cora, these rolls are incredible.”
“I’m glad you like them; it’s a new recipe.” She carried over a covered platter to the table and set it down. “Nicholas, I know you haven’t had a good day, but there’s no easy way to say this: you have to quit the football team.”
“What? Are you kidding? We have already been through this. Why?” I demanded.
“You are drawing too much attention to yourself. We have done well so far over the past five years, but we can’t afford to slip up now.”
“At least let me finish the season, and then I will never play football again!”
“No, by the time you are done, you will have set a bunch of school records, and a tenth grader doing it will draw even more attention. Plus, colleges will start scouting you and digging into your past.”
“But I need to go to college.”
“Not on a football scholarship. You don’t need a scholarship; you need to fly under the radar. You know this.”
“That was just a scrimmage. Please, just let me play in the first couple of games, and if I am drawing too much attention, I will stop playing.”
Cora stood in silence.
“Remember, it was just a scrimmage, and the other team was not that good,” I said, hoping to persuade her.
Cora took off her apron. She laid it on the counter and leaned against it. “Okay, it’s a deal. I will let you play, but remember—”
“I know. I’ll quit.”
The next morning was unusually cold for late August. The rain had coated the grass and all of the leaves. The sun was beginning to rise, making the grass and leaves look like they were covered with tiny diamonds. I was already sitting outside on the porch, waiting for Cora.
I wasn’t able to sleep at all because of the deal I had made with Cora. Why would I make that deal with her? The only reason I was playing varsity was because of how well I was doing. If I was going to stay on the team, I would have to become an average player and that would be a one-way ticket back to the JV team or, worse, the bench. I have sacrificed so much over the years, and what has she given up? Absolutely nothing. Well, maybe some shopping sprees at the mall, but as soon as I go to college, she will have her old life back again, just as she left it.
The cold morning and my Tic Tacs were helping calm my sick stomach. I had already eaten a pack overnight and was well into my second. I was glad Cora wasn’t up yet, partly because I didn’t want to hear her say that she was sorry for the deal she was forcing me to make, but mainly because I didn’t want to smell her coffee.
My first three classes flew by just like my first day. I was invisible to almost everyone in my classes and in the hall. The guys on the JV football team were the only ones who paid any attention to me. I was like a hero to them. Every chance they had to talk to me, they would. I guess they thought if they talked to me that somehow they would be part of varsity too. But as much as the JV players talked to me, the varsity guys wanted nothing to do with me. I was sure Oliver had something to do with it.
I was hoping that the two girls in biology would either leave me alone or be sick. But there they were, and they had somehow positioned themselves to the left and right of my assigned seat. How did they get Mrs. Bellhorn to switch their seats? It was bad enough when they were two rows behind me. Now it was going to be torture. I still had no idea what their names were, and to be honest, I didn’t care.
When I got to my desk, I smiled at them, pretending to look in my bag for some elusive pen or folder. They both said, “Hi,” and that was it. They didn’t speak to me throughout the whole class, which was a relief because I was pretty nervous about seeing my angel in my next class. I had a serious case of the butterflies.
The bell rang. The two girls said in unison, “Nicholas, we’ll see you tomorrow,” and they both walked out together, ponytails bouncing back and forth.
I walked slowly down the hall, looking to see if Oliver was around. Luckily enough, he wasn’t. I walked into class with my head down just in case he was already seated. I sat quickly, and my sudden movement sent an intoxicating breeze into the air. It was perfume from somewhere. There were faint hints of vanilla, mint and some other tropical fruit or sweet flower that I had never smelled before. It was heavenly. If I could swim in it, I would leap from my desk.
“Hi.”
She was talking to me! I turned around in my seat.
“My name is Elle.”
Her name was just as beautiful as she was. How could someone be this incredible? Maybe it was my hormones making me feel this way. Hormones or not, I loved the feeling.
“You’re Nicholas, right?”
I couldn’t speak, so I smiled. She was even more beautiful close up. Her flawless skin looked as smooth as rose petals. I couldn’t believe that the same girl I had admired from afar was now sitting behind me and talking to me. I wanted to reach out and brush her cheek with the back of my hand to feel how soft her skin must be. Her eyes were hypnotic. I was instantly and hopelessly under her spell.
“So how do you like Winsor?” she asked.
I realized that I was just staring at her. “Oh, I like it all right.”
“So where did you move from?”
“I moved from a small town in upstate Ohio,” I replied.
“Did you like it there? . . . Well?” she said.
“Well, I’m not
sure.” The words stumbled clumsily out of my mouth.
“What are you not sure about?” she asked. “You either liked it or you didn’t!” A half-crooked smile that could melt an iceberg appeared on her face.
Coach Hoff walked in. I turned back around quickly, happy to be saved from her question. Such a simple question, so why couldn’t I answer it?
She leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “You can let me know your answer later.”
All of the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up. Coach Hoff started talking about some project we were going to work on over the quarter. My mind was still numb from Elle. She had me all flustered. I thought I was prepared for absolutely everything, but the way I was feeling now was something Cora had never prepared me for. I was lost.
“Okay, class, see you after lunch.” Coach Hoff was the first one out the door. I got up with everyone else in the class and walked down the hall with them. Elle brushed by me, and the smell of her perfume sent electricity through me. I had to walk slower to put more distance between us.
I replayed the way she said her name and smiled over and over in my head. I found myself in the lunch line, oblivious to everything around me.
“Do you want fries with that?”
I cleared my vision. Standing in front of me was a woman the size of a tree, wearing a large white lab coat.
“Kid, do you want fries or not?”
“Uh, yes,” I answered. I could hear Cora’s voice warning, Pay attention to what you are doing at all times.
I paid the cashier and walked down one of the long aisles in the middle of the lunchroom. I found an empty table near the back of the room. I was pretty confident that Oliver would not be back here because most of the kids surrounding me had their books out and were studying. I was sure this was not where the cool kids sat.
I started to eat the salad that I had gotten by accident with my fries. I glanced up to see Elle walking toward me with a small group of people. What was I going to do? I couldn’t get up and run—that would definitely be too weird. Okay, I would just have to play it cool. What did I know about playing anything cool? I was more like the people around me.
“Everyone, this is Nicholas.” Elle was standing with her two girlfriends from class and a boy that I had never seen before. “Can we sit with you?” Elle asked. Before I could answer, she sat down. Her friends all sat down like sheep following their shepherd.
“So, Nicholas, this is Jennifer and Julie.” If she had not introduced them, I would have sworn they were both different versions of Malibu Barbie. They had perfect tans, blonde hair, and designer clothes. “And this is John.”
“Hey! What’s up, dude?” John said, reaching across the table to shake my hand. I offered my hand, and instead of a handshake, he slapped it.
“So you are the tenth grader that made varsity?” John asked.
“Well, I—”
“Sweet, dude!”
John reminded me of a surfer from California with his blond hair and beach attire.
“John’s my boyfriend and captain of the water polo team,” Jennifer or Julie said.
“So that’s how I am labeled now? ‘Boyfriend’?”
“Oh, Johnny!” she said, and both the Barbie twins giggled.
“So what brings you to Winsor?” he asked.
“Well, my mom got transferred here.”
“Cool,” John said.
It was odd because Elle didn’t fit in with these people. Elle’s beauty was different. It was the type that would inspire great works of art or cause someone to go to war. Not any of this fashion model stuff. She was inspirational.
The entire lunchroom was staring at our table. Worst of all, they were staring at me. People walked by the table, making sure to say hello to Elle, and she would always respond with “Hello,” or “How are you?” Who was this girl? Why did everyone want to talk to her, and why was she here with me? I had to get up to escape this. It was way too much attention.
I got up. “Nice to meet you all,” I said leaving the table. I looked back at Elle and she caught me. She gave me a small smile and waved. I almost walked into a concrete column. I dumped the garbage off my tray and walked back to class.
For the next three days, I ate my lunch down one of the long hallways in the art area. I was pretty sure Oliver didn’t know where it was, and Elle was never around when I went back there to eat, so it was a safe place for now. Elle didn’t try to talk to me in class, and Oliver left me alone the rest of the week.
On Friday, I was wearing my green tie that Cora had set out for me to wear like the other varsity players. Coach Miller made varsity wear ties for home games. Coach Hoff was finishing the last problem on the chalkboard. The bell rang.
“Okay, class! See you tonight at the game,” he said.
“Hey, Nicholas, good luck tonight.” Elle was at the side of my desk. I looked up to see her blinding smile. This was the first time I had really looked at her since I ran away from her and her friends at the lunch table.
“Thank you,” I said. “Are you going?”
“Well, of course. I think I have been to every game since I was a baby.”
“Okay, great. Then I will see you there.”
“I’ll be in the bottom row in the student section. If you see me, wave, but make sure Coach Miller doesn’t catch you,” she said with a mischievous wink.
“Okay, great!” I repeated with my voice cracking in the middle of great.
Game time came quickly. I sat in the back of the varsity locker room listening to music. I now had a locker in the back. My name hung over my locker on a gold plate. I sat staring at it, unsure if this would be my last day sitting in here with the team.
The team still didn’t accept me, but now they at least didn’t try to kick me out, and that was good enough for me. Everyone was dressed for the game when Coach Miller and the rest of the coaching staff walked in. He called to us to come over and take a knee.
Everyone bowed their heads, including the coaches. No one made a sound. After a few minutes, Coach Miller said a loud, “Amen.”
We stood up and Coach Miller continued, “Now listen up, team. Everyone knows how important it is to put this game out of their reach early. They are a wounded animal, and they are begging for us to put them out of their misery. We need to punish them when they have the ball, and when it’s our turn, we need to score.” Coach Miller paused. “Do you know what time it is?”
The team responded in a thunderous, unified voice, “It’s game time!”
We followed the coaches down the hall and out the doors. There was a sea of cars separating us from the stadium. Grills and tents were littered around the parking lot. People were tailgating before a high school football game—unbelievable. There was a green and gold bus with the Winsor Cougar painted on it. Cougar flags were flying everywhere.
We went around the outside of the parking lot toward the stadium. It was glowing a bright, warm yellow. It was alive. Above the glow, towering over the stadium was a lit sign that read “Henry J. Theasing Stadium.” I was surprised that I had never noticed it before because it seemed impossible to miss. Maybe I noticed now because it was lit up like the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. You could see that sign from everywhere, even if you were driving on the nearby interstate. Whoever he was, Henry J. Theasing must have been pretty important or have given a lot of money to the school.
We began to jog toward the stadium, but instead of going toward the front gate, we ran toward a door in the side of the stadium. It was just a plain green door. It looked more like a storage closet than an entrance. When I got up to the door, I saw stairs that led down. I funneled into the narrow passage with the rest of the team. All along the wall were names painted in green and gold lettering. At the bottom I saw my name freshly painted in gold, Nicholas Keller. My chest swelled with pride. I knew my dad would have been proud.
The dimly lit corridor widened. I could see a light up
ahead in the tunnel. It was like what I have pictured will happen when I die. The coaches stopped and moved to the side. A booming voice roared in front of us from where the light was.
“And now for your Winsor Cougars!”
I ran with the team up a ramp toward the light and through a banner. It was amazing how the lights blinded me coming out of the tunnel. The roar of the crowd was deafening. The 10,000-seat stadium was packed mostly with people dressed in green and gold. We ran over to our sideline to cheers of the crowd. It was incredible that this many people would attend a high school game. It was like we were gladiators in Rome about to fight for Caesar. Our band was in the end zone playing the Winsor fight song, and the cheerleaders were performing routines to get the crowd into even more of a frenzy.
The PA announcer said, “If you would now stand for our national anthem. Please welcome our hometown girl, a Winsor Cougar, a world-famous recording artist. Please welcome Chanin Anne.”
A woman with light-brown skin wearing all white except for a green and gold boa walked out from behind the stands. Thousands of pictures were being taken of this woman. I had never heard of her, but judging by the horde of police around her, she had to be famous.
We lined up, took off our helmets, and laid them at our feet, facemasks facing out. We put our hands over our hearts and followed with our eyes the large American flag that a color guard was parading down the center of the field. Coach Miller had us practice a couple of times how to stand for the singing of our national anthem.
Coach Miller didn’t often speak much about other things besides football, but I still remember what he said word for word about the national anthem. “Listen up, men. A lot of people have died for that flag, and it is our duty to show them respect and to respect the greatest country in the world.”
After she was done singing the most incredible national anthem I had ever heard, the refs called both team captains to the center of the field. Oliver and Chad ran out and shook hands with the refs and the other team captains. We won the coin toss and the fans roared so loudly it shook my insides. Oliver came running back, high-fiving everyone near him. I stood at the back toward the bench and put my helmet on, trying to make sure I didn’t give Cora any more reasons to make me quit.
The Mason Comets lined up and kicked the ball to us. Oliver and the offense went out onto the field, carried by the cheers of the crowd. The fans loved to see their golden boy, the face of the team, run out. A part of me was jealous of him. I always had to blend in and be nothing special. Oliver was expected to stand out, to be more than average. Oliver and I were opposites.
“Keller, Keller.” Coach Miller was standing in front of me. “Snap out of it, boy. I know it’s not like the scrimmage. Don’t worry about the crowd, the lights, or anything else. Just worry about playing football. You are starting tonight.”
I followed Coach Miller up to the sideline. The crowd grew quiet. Oliver was getting killed out there. Every time he touched the ball, the other team would swarm around him. He wasn’t sticking with the plays the coaches were calling; he was trying to do it all himself. Instead of throwing the ball or handing the ball off, he would tuck the ball and keep it himself, trying to make a play. How selfish could he be?
“Okay, defense, let’s go!” Coach Miller yelled. Oliver and the offense jogged off the field. Oliver jogged right toward me. It was unavoidable that he was going to pass me. Right when he passed me he said, “Just because you are starting doesn’t mean you’re anything important. You are nothing special!”
I followed the defense onto the field. What Oliver said began to eat at me. I was tired of being nothing special. I didn’t hear what play Chad called. The fire that had been dormant awoke, filling me with rage. I was focused on only one thing, the quarterback. He shouted, “Blue 52, blue 52, set, hike.” My muscles tensed and the fire propelled me forward. I ran past everyone and jumped over the lone blocker. I hit the quarterback ferociously, knocking him to the ground.
“I hurt him,” I said. None of the guys around me heard what I had said, but I wasn’t saying it for them. I was saying it to myself in disbelief. He was sitting up, but he was holding his arm. The trainers motioned to the emergency personnel on the sideline. I couldn’t see what they were doing when they got to him.
“Huddle up,” Chad shouted at me.
We all stood and watched them put a sling on his arm and load him onto a cart. They took him off the field. He waved with his uninjured arm, and the crowd applauded.
The promise I made to Cora and my regret for hurting the quarterback dominated my thoughts for the rest of the game. I played hard, but did very little to stand out. With their quarterback out of the game, we went on to beat them 10-3.
I jogged with the team. A crowd had formed at the main gate, waiting for us to come off the field. Oliver was in front, pumping his fist, playing it up for the crowd. I was so preoccupied that I didn’t even look for Elle. Hopefully she would understand.
I didn’t take off my helmet so that no one could see my face. In crowds, Cora always made me wear a hat. About halfway out of the stadium, I heard a familiar voice in the crowd yell, “Good game, Nicholas!” I knew who it was because her voice gave me butterflies. I looked up to see Elle smiling at me. I smiled back.
I changed quickly to meet Cora outside. I moved silently through the team. I made it to the door and heard Oliver yelling, “We are the Cougars, the mighty, mighty Cougars!”
The locker room responded to him with, “We are the Cougars . . .”
Coach Miller came in just as Oliver started the chant again. The rest of the coaches, all looking like we had lost the game, followed behind him.
“Do you think we have something to cheer about? Do you?” Coach Miller asked in a very calm voice, which was scarier than his shouting. “The only ones who should be celebrating are the defense because they won the game for us. They even saved us when Oliver fumbled the ball on our own 10-yard line.” The locker room was as quiet as I had ever heard it. Coach Miller had everyone’s full attention.
“Chad and Nicholas, good job tonight. I want to see more of the same effort from you two and the rest of the defense. Great job,” Coach Miller said with a smile. I noticed for the first time that the entire defense was on the same side of the locker room.
“Defense, get dressed and get out of here.”
I was halfway out the door when Coach Miller began to shout at the offense about how poorly they had played and that maybe the JV offense should start next week. I knew he wasn’t yelling at me, but it was still hard to listen to.
I walked out the back door by the JV locker room, where Cora was leaning against our truck, waiting. She saw me and smiled. I climbed into the passenger seat. She merged into the line of cars trying to get out. Crowds of people were celebrating in the parking lot, which forced all of the cars down to one lane to exit.
“So, you had a good game,” Cora said.
I couldn’t tell if it was a question or a statement. “Thanks.”
I looked out the window, and a group of students were staring right at me. One of the boys in the crowd with his face painted green and wearing a large gold chef’s hat pointed at me and said something to the rest of the group. The group started to clap and chant, “Keller, Keller, Keller!” Then the chant erupted among the other fans around our truck.
The next ten minutes waiting for our turn to get out of the parking lot were the longest of my life. Cora pretended like nothing was going on and I did too. I could only sink down so far in my seat. Any lower, I would be laying on the floor.
“We need to talk, Nicholas.”
“I know what you’re going to say. We are moving or I have to quit.”
“Is that what you want me to say?” Cora asked.
“Well, no, but isn’t that what you were going to say?” I asked.
“No, I was going to talk about how proud I was of you during the game.”
“Proud? What part are you proud
of? The part when I broke the guy’s arm because I was angry?”
“No, not that part. But after that you faded into the background. You never stood out again. Sure, your name was announced for a tackle or two, but—”
“Wait, they announced our names?” I asked.
“Sure, they said your name, but you never made a spectacular play again after the first one. Believe me, after the first play, I wanted to grab you and run out of there, but you showed me that you learned from your mistake. I’m proud of you.”
My face felt like it was on fire from embarrassment.
“Since you are already embarrassed, I might as well ask who the girl is.”
“What girl?”
“You know, the girl that waited for you after the game to tell you good game.”
“You were watching?”
“Well, it was hard not to notice. I happened to be standing next to her, trying to get your attention. You didn’t even know I was there when I yelled to you, but she sure got your attention with barely any effort.”
“She’s a friend from school.”
Cora didn’t say anything.
Nothing could have prepared me for school on Monday. When I got off the bus, Eric was waiting for me with what had to be half of the school. They were all cheering my name, “Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas.” The chant burrowed into me like a hot poker, making me instantly uncomfortable with nowhere to run.
Eric pulled me off the bus and pushed me to the center of the mob. He raised his hand and they all quieted. He then belted out, “Nicholas Keller is the students’ pick for MVP of Friday’s game against the Mason Comets.”
Everyone cheered after Eric’s announcement. Eric pulled out a large beaded necklace with footballs on it and forced it over my head. The necklace looked like it was thrown from a Mardi Gras float. Eric yelled again, “This is the first time that an underclassman has gotten the MVP necklace, and it makes me proud to call him my friend.”
Eric walked me around to different groups of people. It was like he was showing off his shining, new toy that everyone wanted to play with. I finally escaped Eric and the crowd, but it wasn’t any better inside the school. Everyone in the school knew me now. “Keller, great game,” “MVP,” and “Nice hit,” came from everywhere. Even teachers got in on the action. I became nauseated.
I was planning to eat in the hallway again, but now I could see that wouldn’t work. Everywhere I went, people were coming up to me. I took off the football necklace and shoved it into my bag. I hoped to break it in the process, just in case Eric saw me without it, so I could use that as an excuse for why I wasn’t wearing it.
I barely made it through biology. The two girls began talking to me again with new vigor. They wanted to go over every play of the game. They talked about how awesome it was that I took out the other team’s quarterback. The bell rang and I bolted out of the classroom and into the hallway to get away from them. I arrived at Coach Hoff’s class completely rattled. This was more attention than I had ever received in the last five years combined.
Coach Hoff was already in the classroom, sitting at his desk with his feet up, reading the morning paper. The bell rang and all of the students rushed to their seats, shocked that he was there already. He never moved; he just continued reading his paper while the class settled down.
“Well, class, before I let you go to lunch, we should give a round of applause to our football team for leading us to our first win against our cross-town rivals, the Comets!” The class started to applaud.
“Wait! Wait! I would like to congratulate Mr. Nicholas Keller for being the first underclassman to play and start on varsity. He did it with real style, knocking out the Comet’s quarterback during his first play of the game!” The class exploded into louder celebration. I sank down in my seat. I turned around, hoping that if I smiled, their cheers would end, but instead I caught a glimpse of an angry Oliver.
“Okay, class, go to lunch.”
I knew that Oliver was going to be waiting for me for sure after all of that. I was right. Oliver and his buddy were slow to get out of their seats when we were dismissed. I tried to hurry up and get out, but Oliver was right there.
“Mr. Keller, may I have a word? Rails, you and Chester get going,” Coach Hoff said to them. Oliver walked out of the class dejected.
“Keller, you are one hell of a football player. It’s exciting to see you play. To be honest, I haven’t seen anyone play football like that since Coach Miller played back in the day.
“But that’s not the reason why I wanted to talk to you. You need to stand up for yourself. Don’t let Oliver or anyone else make you do something you don’t want to do. Don’t let them pick on you, okay? Bullies are only bullies if they have someone to bully. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” I responded.
“Okay then, off to lunch.”
I grabbed my lunch, but I wasn’t sure where to eat. I needed to escape from all of this madness. I wandered through the empty halls. I couldn’t eat in the lunchroom or the hall now, so where could I go?
Up ahead a door opened. I waited for the person who had opened it to vanish, and then I went in. It was the staircase to the second story, and under the stairs was what looked like a perfect place to escape. It was a small place where I could sit and no one could see me. This could be my sanctuary, my safe spot.
I slid down the brick wall onto the thinly carpeted floor. I unpacked my lunch and began to eat. Was Coach Hoff right about standing up to Oliver? But how would I do that without drawing more attention? Was Oliver making me do things that I didn’t want to do? Looking around, I realized he was, because I was hiding and eating under the stairs. He wasn’t the only reason I was hiding, but he was part of it. I started to see Coach Hoff’s point.
The twenty minutes under the stairs were good for me. I was able to relax and regain some of my composure. Back in class, Oliver and Chester were not interested in me. That was a relief because as much as Coach Hoff might be right about standing up to them, saying it is one thing and doing it is another.
Coach Hoff gave us several problems to work on with a partner. Elle leaned forward and asked, “Do you want to be partners?”
“Sure,” I said without turning my head. I fumbled with some papers on my desk to buy some time to calm down. I turned my desk around, slowly facing her.
I didn’t say anything; I just kept my eyes on the paper. The problems were so easy that I finished in a couple of minutes. I looked up to see if Elle was done. Her paper was blank. She hadn’t worked any of them. She was just staring at me.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Why haven’t you worked on your problems yet?”
“I was waiting to see how long it would take for you to look at me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Now don’t get upset, Nicholas. I was curious to see if your avoidance of me also applied to looking at me in class. Have I done something to make you upset with me?” she asked.
“No, you haven’t.”
“Then what is it? You don’t have to answer me now, but give me a chance to be your friend at least. Tomorrow at lunch let me eat with you. I will get my food and meet you under the stairs.” Her angelic face looked innocent. Blood started to rush to my face.
“Please don’t be upset with me,” she continued. “I came back to see if you were okay today and saw you go into the stairwell. I went in there to find you, and I heard you under the stairs. I didn’t say anything to you because I was afraid that you would think I was stalking you.”
I was speechless.
“Well, I will assume from your silence that it’s okay to eat with you.” She began to work on her problems, breezing through them just as I had. I watched her work on her problems. Her fluid, artistic writing was just another thing that made her perfect in my eyes. The bell rang.
The next day in class Elle didn??
?t say anything to me, but she had a big smile on her face. Every time we made eye contact, the butterflies in my stomach exploded.
“Breathe,” I whispered to myself. It didn’t help.
I sprang to my feet when we were dismissed for lunch and was the first one out the door. I took a different path to my hiding spot. There seemed to be a bigger crowd in the halls and around the entrance to the stairs than last time. After a couple of minutes, I slipped through the door and slid back behind the stairs. Sitting under the stairs was not relaxing at all. It was more like sitting in a dentist chair, waiting for the drill. I propped myself up against the wall, waiting for her. Each time the door opened, I held my breath. Maybe she forgot.
“Nicholas, it’s me,” Elle called under the stairs like she was waiting for me to open a secret door to let her in. She peeked her head in. She looked around at the small space like she was sizing it up. I hadn’t really seen her yet today. She looked stunning as usual. She was a bright ray of sunshine in this dark, poorly lit place under the stairs. She always dressed very simply, but it made her look even more beautiful and breathtaking. Her beauty was indescribable. She didn’t have to wear all the fancy clothes or jewelry that the other kids wore.
“Is this seat taken?” she asked. “Oh, a smile. Careful, I might think you want to be friends.” If only she knew what I thought about her.
“So what are you eating, Nicholas? Anything good?”
I showed her the gourmet sandwich and pasta salad that Cora had made me.
“Wow! Did you get that here?” She had a tossed salad, french fries, and a grape pop that she had gotten from the cafeteria. It looked pretty standard.
“No, my mom made it. She’s kind of like a chef. Well, not quite, but she loves to cook.”
“Well, no wonder you don’t eat the cafeteria food all the time. If my mom packed lunches like that, I would avoid the cafeteria too!” It wasn’t one of Cora’s fancier lunches, but the bread was homemade and the turkey had a cranberry dressing on it. I guess the sandwich next to the tri-color pasta salad looked pretty fancy.
I took a bite of my sandwich. She began to eat her salad, croutons first, dipping them into her dressing. When they were gone, she stabbed one piece of lettuce at a time, dipping them the same way she did her croutons. In between her bites of salad, she would take one of the fries and dip it into her ranch dressing too. She was absolutely adorable.
“So why are you eating under here?”
I didn’t have to think hard about this one. Cora had prepared me to answer this question a million times. “I like my privacy.”
She thought for a moment in between ranch-covered fries. “I can leave if you’d like.”
I cut her off. “No, no, that’s fine.” My lack of control amused her, making her grin from ear to ear.
“Good. I wasn’t going to leave anyway. I am determined to be your friend. You’re stuck with me, Mr. Nicholas Keller.” I loved the way my name rolled off her tongue. It made me feel important, like someone special.
“So what’s forcing you under the stairs? Being private is one thing, but this is . . .” She shrugged her shoulders as if to tell me I was mental.
“Well, I just don’t like all the attention, you know, with all the football stuff.”
“What did you expect? You are the first underclassman to start varsity—heck, to be on varsity. Not to mention you’re a great player!”
I looked down hoping she didn’t see my red cheeks. “I didn’t know that I was good before I came here. Well, actually, I never thought I would play.”
“Why? You must have been the star player at your last school.”
“Elle, I had never played in an actual game before, not even a scrimmage. I only played football because my dad did.”
“What does your dad think now with you being the big time varsity star?”
I didn’t look up to answer. “My dad died some time ago.”
“Oh, Nicholas, I’m so sorry.” She took my hand and her warmth flowed through my body, making me feel comforted. Elle looked horrified that she had asked such a hurtful question, but how could she have known?
“Elle, it’s okay. He’s been gone for a while now.”
Her eyes watered up.
“Please, Elle, it’s okay.” I grabbed her other hand to comfort her. I couldn’t bear to see her sad.
“I really stuck my foot in my mouth, and here you are trying to make me feel better about it. I was right, you are something special, Nicholas.”
I let go of her hands and sat back.
“Nicholas, do you mind if I eat with you tomorrow?”
I smiled. “I would like that very much.”
“Well, great! It’s a date! We better get going.”
We walked back to class together. It was the first time I had walked through the halls without looking over my shoulder. With her around, all my worries vanished.
The rest of the week was peaceful. With Elle at my side, the occasional uncomfortable situations were muted. She was very calming. I ate lunch with Elle everyday. I don’t know what she said to her friends about why she was gone at lunch, but I didn’t care, just as long as she was with me. Friday was no different than the last couple of days, but it was game day so I did get a little more attention than normal with people wishing me good game and such.
I was going to make a couple of key plays just to keep us from losing. That was my game plan from now on. I figured if I just did that, I would still be able to start but not bring attention to myself so I could stay on the team.
I walked home from the bus stop. Cora was in the kitchen.
“Hey, Nicholas, what do you want to eat before tonight’s big game?”
I walked into the kitchen. Cora was wearing a green and gold jersey that had a white “32” on the back, my number.
“Cora, where did you get that?”
“Well, I wanted to show support. The moms of the varsity team got these made, so I threw caution to the wind and bought one to support the Boosters. Do you like it?”
“Of course! It just caught me off guard.”
By Cora doing this, she would bring attention to herself and inevitably to me. With her playing the part of my mom, I was sure people in the stands would treat her the same way I was treated at school—like a celebrity.
“So what do you want for dinner before the game?”
“I will take a mushroom burger.”
“Okay, coming right up.”
Just then the doorbell rang.
“Nicholas, are you expecting someone?” She didn’t look too concerned.
“It’s probably Eric seeing if I need a ride to the game tonight. I didn’t get to talk to him today.”
“Okay, then will you get the door?” Her hands were already covered in raw meat. I walked to the door and opened it. A man and a woman stood outside the door. They were dressed like most of the wealthy older couples that lived around here. He was wearing loafers with pressed khaki shorts and a green polo shirt. She was wearing matching shorts, a gold shirt, and a large white derby hat.
The lady spoke, “Is Cora home?” I stood there. Something about her made me feel uneasy. I wanted to slam the door on the two of them. “Nick, is Cora home?” the lady asked again. Cora was suddenly standing next to me.
“Hello, Cora,” the lady said.
Cora stood frozen, staring at the pair of them. Her mouth was wide open. Something was wrong. I glanced outside to see if they were driving the sea green truck.
“You aren’t the people who have been following me, are you?” I blurted out.
The couple looked at me and then looked back at Cora. My paranoia was getting the best of me.
“What do you want? I told you I had nothing more to say to you at the scrimmage,” Cora said.
“I would like to have a word with you in private, dear.”
“Do we have to do this now? We are getting ready for the game tonight.”
&nb
sp; “Yes, I know you are, but this can’t wait,” the lady responded firmly. Cora looked concerned. She was trying to tell me something, but I didn’t know what it was. Cora’s look went from concerned to scared, but that had to be a mistake because Cora was never scared of anything, especially not an old woman in some crazy, big hat.
“Now, now, dear. There is no reason to fret. Mr. Theasing can talk to Nick while you and I talk.”
Cora snapped at her, “His name is Nicholas.”
“Oh, yes indeed, I am so sorry dear. Cora, just a word, please. It will only take a moment.”
The couple walked in the front door without waiting to be invited. Cora did nothing to stop them. My muscles began to tense up. I could feel my heart starting to pound and the fire erupting. I was ready for whatever happened next. Cora grabbed my arm, sensing I was getting ready for a fight.
“Nicholas,” she looked into my eyes, “Ester and I are going to talk in the kitchen. Show Mr. Theasing to the family room. Talk about football.” She spoke very slowly in a calm tone.
“Oh yes, Henry loves his Winsor Cougar football,” Mrs. Theasing responded.
Mr. Theasing followed me into the family room. He sat down opposite me. I avoided making eye contact, trying to listen to Cora and Mrs. Theasing in the kitchen, making sure Cora was okay.
“So, Nicholas, you had one hell of a game last week.”
I didn’t look his way, hoping this would convince him to stop talking to me.
“Nicholas, you are the best player out there, even better than Oliver Rails.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you ready for tonight’s game against the Millville Eagles? They have a soft defense, so Oliver should play better.”
Cora’s conversation was growing louder. Something was wrong. I looked over at Mr. Theasing. He too was staring at the kitchen door, concerned or scared; it was hard to make out which. He began to look as white as a ghost. From the look of his reaction, he must not have known what his wife was planning to talk to Cora about. He caught me looking at him. He coughed, clearing his throat loudly enough that they could hear him in the kitchen. The heated debate silenced.
He turned his attention back to me. “You’ve been playing football for a while?”
“Well, sort of.”
“What? You had to have been a star before, right?”
“Well, I’ve been on teams for the past four years, but never played.”
“Surely you’ve played in some games before this year.”
“No, this is my first year of getting into games.”
He looked like someone had just punched him in the stomach, winding him. “Woo, a player of your caliber is a rare find. We are sure lucky to get you. You are the first underclassman—”
“I know,” I interrupted, “the first underclassman to play varsity. I know.”
Cora walked through the swinging kitchen doors completely expressionless. “Well, thanks for stopping by,” she said to Mrs. Theasing, sounding completely composed.
I got up and Mr. Theasing walked over to his wife, who was wearing a fake smile.
“Cora, thank you for your time, and good luck tonight in the game, Nick.” She smiled like she had made a joke. “Nicholas, I mean. We will be watching you with great anticipation.”
Cora’s solemn face didn’t change after she shut the door.
“So what was that all about? How do they know you? Were they the same people that you were talking to during my scrimmage?”
Cora turned toward me and said, “Nicholas, I will tell you everything, but not now. You have to do something for me, no questions asked.” Cora never kept anything from me so this must be serious.
“Okay, whatever you want,” I told her. I was looking into her brown eyes. She looked like a little lost kid not sure what was going to happen next.
“Quit football now,” she said.
“What?”
“Listen, you did a good job, but if you don’t quit, we will have to move or something worse may happen.”
“Okay, I will tonight.”
“You have to Nicholas,” she said.
“I will tonight, but I will do it my way.”
I concentrated on Elle while in the tunnel waiting to run onto the field. The fireworks went off. We ran up the tunnel and through the banner, splitting the cheerleaders.
I couldn’t quit football. Who would want to be friends with a quitter? Not Elle. I couldn’t do that. I had to fake an injury. That was the only reasonable way to stop playing and not look like I was abandoning the team.
“Okay, men! Get out there and stop them. Nobody will score on us tonight,” Coach Miller roared over the cheers of the crowd.
Oliver continued to struggle horribly. Every chance we had to score, he either messed it up or missed out on the opportunity.
“Set, hike.”
I ran past everyone right to the quarterback, knocking him back several yards.
“Keller, keep it up,” Chad said, hitting me on the helmet. “Without you, Oliver would have already lost this game for us.” With every play I made, I felt the pressure of not wanting to let my team down with a fake injury.
Time after time, Oliver could do nothing on the field. After Coach Miller’s screaming at halftime, I figured Oliver would wake up, but the second half was the same.
“Set, blue 44, hike,” Oliver yelled. He went to throw the ball and threw it right to the other team for an interception.
The score was 0-0 with 45 seconds left now. The crowd was eerily silent. Thanks to Oliver, the Eagles only needed five more yards, and they would be in field goal range.
Coach Miller was yelling at me, “Let’s go, Keller! We need a big play!”
The Eagles’ quarterback hiked the ball and dropped back like he was going to throw it. Chad and I hit him right when he scrambled out of bounds to stop the clock. He had gained a yard. There were only 38 seconds left on the clock. Back in the huddle no one was talking. Everyone was panting, out of breath. We had been out on the field most of the game.
“33 fire. Nicholas, just go get whoever has the ball,” Chad barked.
“Set, hike!”
The quarterback ran the ball away from me toward the sideline. It was like the coach on the other side told him to get the ball and run away from me and try to get a yard or two. I caught him and pushed him out of bounds after he gained a couple more yards. There were only 30 seconds left. Their kicker was warming up on the sideline. They were close enough to send him in to attempt a field goal.
The quarterback ran up and hiked the ball quickly. We were not ready, and he ran toward the sideline, but without as much speed as before. This time he was purposely not going out of bounds. He was taking time off the clock. Right before a group of us hit him, he went out of bounds. Ten seconds were taken off the clock, which now read “20” in bright neon yellow numbers that seemed to taunt us with every second that went by.
“Time out!” Coach Miller ran out to us in the middle of the field. “Listen, they have taken Keller out of the game these last couple of plays. We need to block this kick so we can give Oliver and the offense a chance to at least win it in overtime.”
I glanced into the stands, which were motionless. I saw Elle in the crowd standing in the front row. She had her hands folded like she was praying. She was praying for a miracle. I would have to be that miracle.
My muscles on cue began to pulse and tighten. My heart began to pound. My surroundings slowed as the Eagles set up to kick the game-winning field goal. I was focused on Elle, who started to cheer. I could see her face and how alive and radiant she looked, full of hope. She was triggering something inside of me; the fire that normally was ignited by rage was now being unleashed.
I turned from Elle and focused on the kicker. The ball was snapped back to the holder. I ran around the grasp of the other team’s players with ease just as the ball went hurtling toward the holder, who was waiting to put the ball do
wn for the kicker. He caught the ball, and I dove in front of them to block the kick. In midair, I focused harder and everything slowed even more. The kicker’s leg was blurred from his forward motion to kick the ball. His leg created a wake behind it. I couldn’t just block the ball, because it would give Oliver the chance to be the hero. I would have to do something that would guarantee a win right now for Elle. Not by Oliver’s doing, but by mine.
The kicker’s leg went forward, connecting with the ball. The ball hit right into my midsection. In midair, with my left hand, I caught the ball and threw it to the only player from our team that was close enough to catch it, Chad. To everyone else it would look like it deflected into his arms off of my block. When I hit the ground I saw him catch the ball and run. No one was near him as he sprinted down the field. A couple of the big linemen from the other team had stumbled back onto me. I couldn’t see if he scored, but then the crowd roared. The horn sounded that the game was over. Chad had scored the winning touchdown.
The crowd’s cheering was deafening. Fireworks were going off. I closed my eyes and realized this was my only chance to end everything my way. I closed my eyes and lay perfectly still. I could feel the players all around me getting up. I didn’t want to give any indication that I was conscious, so I continued to lay motionless.
“Keller! Hey, Keller! Can you hear me?” One of our guys was yelling at me. Then he yelled to the sideline, “Coach, Keller is hurt!”
The chain of events that followed went so fast. The trainers were trying to wake me up. They used smelling salts, but right when they put it under my nose I held my breath so I wouldn’t react.
The coaches were also trying to get me to open my eyes. “Keller, can you hear us?”
I had to make this a serious injury so I wouldn’t be allowed to play again. They must have summoned the paramedics because I was being strapped to a board and loaded onto a gurney. The crowd’s cheers had gone quiet. I was being rushed across the field. The paramedics were taking my vitals and then I heard Cora’s voice.
“Is he okay? Please, Lord, let him be okay. Is he okay? Can someone answer me?” Cora sounded so scared. I wanted to reach out to her and grab her hand to tell her I was okay. Instead I opened my eyes. “His eyes are open! Nicholas, can you hear me?” she said with her eyes full of tears.
A bunch of unfamiliar faces surrounded me. The trainers were replaced with paramedics and some other people in plain street clothes. I guessed they were doctors who had been in the stands, because the paramedics were listening to them. Then Cora pushed into the crowd of faces around me.
“Nicholas, can you hear me?” she asked me again.
“Yes,” I whispered.
Immediately everyone around me quieted. One of the doctors said, “Do you know where you are?”
“At the football stadium, I think. Did we win?” I said. Relief passed over the faces around me, but Cora still looked upset.
“Nicholas, can you move your feet and arms?”
I wiggled all of them one at a time. I had to do it slowly to keep up the charade.
“He should be all right,” someone yelled from out of view. The paramedics continued to talk to me, asking me all types of questions.
Then, over the stadium intercom, I heard, “Nicholas Keller is going to be all right.” The crowd erupted with loud cheers.
“Let’s get him into the ambulance,” said the paramedic closest to Cora. Cora began to talk to him while they loaded me into the ambulance, and right next to her Elle was listening. Her back was turned to me, but her black hair was all I needed to see to know it was her.
“Keller, you okay?” Coach Miller was in the ambulance with me.
“Yes, sir. Did we win?”
“Yes, we did, son, thanks to you.” He patted me on the arm and got out.
The trip in the ambulance was extremely bumpy. Cora continued to talk to the paramedics about me. I was grateful it was a short trip because with all of those bumps I might have ended up actually being hurt. The short trip meant we had arrived at Bethesda South, the closest hospital to the school. Then I thought of something that I hadn’t thought of before. They were going to run tests on me that would show that nothing was wrong. They would say I had a slight concussion or something, and that would be it. They would clear me to play again in a couple of weeks. Then I would have to quit for sure. This plan seemed better when I was lying on the ground. But even though I hadn’t planned on this, it still felt like the right thing to do.
They unloaded me. Several doctors were waiting for me. The paramedics and doctors were talking about me as I was being rushed inside. I couldn’t hear what they were saying. They rushed me into a room. The room was buzzing. Nurses and doctors were hurrying in and out. They began to ask me all of the same questions I had been asked previously on the way here. They slowly removed my helmet, and I could feel them cutting through my jersey and removing my pads. Luckily enough, I had on a t-shirt and boxers.
“Excuse me, excuse me. Who is the doctor in charge?” Cora was not anxious or scared anymore, but now sounded like her normal, determined self.
“I am. I’m Dr. Jeffrey Flemming, head of the ER. Are you Nicholas’ mother?”
“Yes, my name is Cora Keller. I would like for you to wait for our family doctor to get here before you proceed with any tests.”
“My staff is more than qualified to handle this. We are top in the nation for any brain or spinal injuries. We need to run tests now to make sure your son doesn’t have serious injuries. We don’t have time to wait, Ms. Keller; we will get your family doctor up to speed when we are done with our tests.”
“Our family doctor, Dr. Chase Letterby, will be here any minute.”
“Did you say Chase Letterby?”
“Yes, I did. Do you know him?”
“You mean the Dr. Chase Letterby?”
“Is there another?” There was a long pause.
“Ms. Keller, there is no way he will get here in time.”
“Actually, when Nicholas didn’t get up off the field I called him immediately. Luckily, he was on his private jet about to land in Chicago, coming home from England. He should have landed nearby ten minutes ago,” Cora said like she was name-dropping. It was so snobby and rude; I had never heard her be that way before. It was disgusting. She sounded more like that old hag Ester Theasing than Cora.
“Yes, Ms. Keller. We will wait for a little bit, but then we have to start the tests. Even Dr. Letterby would agree that we can’t wait too long.” The doctor was defeated. I guess the way she was name-dropping, making Dr. Chase Letterby sound like a celebrity, was effective. Slimy, but effective.
“Thank you, Dr. Flemming.”
The room cleared out, including Cora. There were still two nurses in the room making sure everything was fully stocked and ready. I closed my eyes when they looked over.
“Can you believe they know Dr. Chase Letterby?” one of them whispered.
“Isn’t he the top doctor in the country, and wasn’t he operating on a member of the Royal Family just last week? That’s why he was in England.”
“He’s the doctor to the stars, you know, and is drop-dead gorgeous. He is tall, dark, and hunky.”
The two nurses continued to gossip about his good looks and what of theirs they wanted him to examine. I tuned them out. I drifted off thinking of Elle. She was the only one moving in my thoughts; everyone else was like still cardboard cut-outs. Then the black swirling clouds blocked my view of her and closed in on me.
“Nicholas, Nicholas.” I opened my eyes. I thought I had died because the silhouette of an angel was over me. My eyes focused. It was Elle. I couldn’t tell if I was asleep or awake until I tried to move and found I was still strapped to the table.
“Are you okay? Do you want me to get a doctor?” she asked, looking very worried. I ignored her question; I was more interested in why she was at the hospital.
“What are you doing here?”
She took my ha
nd. “You got hurt, so I had to come see if you were all right.”
“Why?”
“What kind of question is that? We are friends, aren’t we?” she asked with a smile.
“Yes, of course we are, Elle, and to answer your first question, I feel fine. No need to get a doctor.”
“I’m glad. You had me worried. I couldn’t get much information about how you were at the stadium, so I came here right away to find out for myself. Plus, I had to see you in person.”
There was a lot of commotion out in the hall. I couldn’t turn to see what it was. Elle never looked away from me to see what all the excitement was about. Her eyes were just staring into mine. I wanted to tell her everything because I didn’t want to lie to her. After years of lying to people about pretty much everything, I just wanted to be honest with her. I could hear voices getting louder and louder outside the room. Even with them talking right outside the door, Elle still stared into my eyes. I hoped whoever it was would leave me and Elle alone just for a couple minutes longer. Right then the doors opened.
“Excuse me, miss, you will have to wait outside,” a deep voiced boomed. Elle squeezed my hand and disappeared out of sight.
“Hello, Nicholas, I’m Dr. Letterby.” He was towering over the top of me, blocking out the bright light like an eclipse. He was wearing a black suit with a pink button-up shirt and a matching pink tie. His jet-black hair was messed up, but it looked intentional. His face looked like it was carved out of granite, not a flaw anywhere. His smiled revealed perfectly aligned teeth that sparkled like diamonds.
“So, Nicholas, I hear that you were hurt winning a football game.”
“Yes, sir,” I said.
“Does it still hurt anywhere?”
“Well, kind of,” I said, not really sure what else to say.
Dr. Letterby left my sight, and I felt him starting to examine me.
“Why was this boy left on the ambulance gurney and not transported to a proper bed for examination?” His deep booming voice echoed in the room.
Dr. Fleming answered, “Ms. Keller told us to wait until you got here.”
Dr. Letterby turned back to me so only I could see his face. He gave me a wink and then said again very loudly and seriously, “What kind of operation are you running here? You should at least have moved him. I guess this will have to do for now.”
He turned around to face the crowd. The room had to be filled with every doctor and nurse from the hospital. I was sure Cora was in the room among the sea of people all gathered to see Dr. Chase Letterby.
“Dr. Flemming, you and your staff have done enough for now. I need to run a couple of tests, but before that I need to talk to Ms. Keller and Nicholas alone. Do you mind?”
“Yes, of course,” Dr. Flemming’s voice cracked. “Okay, everyone, let’s give them a minute.” Dr. Flemming and his staff left the room. Dr. Letterby’s request was a question, but from the response, it was taken as a command. The doors closed behind them.
“So, Cora, it’s been some time. Did you miss me?” Dr. Letterby’s large arms engulfed Cora in a bear hug over the top of me.
“It has been a while, Chase,” she said, prying herself out of his large arms.
“Nicholas, you’ve changed a lot. You look like your mom with just a hint of your dad, which is a good thing because not everyone is blessed with good looks like some of us. Speaking of beauty, Cora, you are still as breathtaking as ever.” I couldn’t see Cora’s expression. Was she blushing or was she stone-faced?
“Chase, enough. We need your help cleaning up a mess.”
“Well, of course, that’s why I’m here.”
“Nicholas has drawn some unwanted attention to himself, as you can see, and instead of just quitting like he was supposed to, he faked this injury, which ended up drawing a lot more attention to us.”
“Come on, Cora. Give him a break. You have both been hiding for a long time. A little slip-up is to be expected.”
“We can’t afford slip-ups; it only takes one time to be recognized, and then it’s all over.”
I needed to apologize to Cora, but I was still strapped to the gurney, unable to get up to look at her. “Cora, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to look like a quitter.”
“Yeah, and he’s got to look good in front of his girl. You know, the one that was in here—”
Cora interrupted, “I know who the girl is, Chase, but we can’t afford luxuries like relationships.” She turned and looked at me. “Even with a cute junior girl.”
Chase hadn’t heard anything Cora had said. He just continued to talk like he was trying to figure out a puzzle. “No, the girl wasn’t it. Maybe he’s trying to play football like his dad, and who could blame him for trying to take after his old man? I’m sure if he were still here, he would have forced him to play ball.”
I tried to break free from the straps holding me down. I wanted to jump up and mess up that pretty face of his for bringing my dad into this. He wasn’t like that; he would have never forced me to do anything. I started to yell, but Cora’s face was over mine. She whispered, “Ignore him. It will be okay.”
I fought back my anger.
She lifted her head and spoke in a commanding voice, the same sort of voice Chase used on the doctors and nurses. “Okay, Chase, it’s time. You know what to do?”
“Of course I do. I will run some tests and make sure my medical opinion is that he can’t play football again.”
“Thanks, Chase. I owe you.”
“A date then, maybe?”
“Sorry, Chase, I will never owe you that much.”
Chase leaned over me. I was still angry. I didn’t want to look at him, but I didn’t have a choice.
“Nicholas, do me a favor. Please say that you have some tingling in your arms and legs whenever I ask. Can you do that?”
I nodded, still too angry to speak.
The next several hours consisted of lots of tests and big crowds. Everywhere Chase went, a big crowd followed. He was like a rock star. When different test results came in, he would just say, “Interesting, interesting.” From time to time, he would ask me if anything hurt, and I would say that I felt tingling in my arms and legs.
At one point, he leaned down and pretended to examine my neck. “I just want you to know that your lady friend has been here the whole time,” he whispered, “but Cora sent her home a little while ago. I tried to get Cora to let her stay, but I lost that battle.”
I was still angry, but the fact that he tried to get Cora to let Elle stay helped me to see past his stupid comment about my dad. It was close to midnight when I was finally wheeled into a room on the third floor, room 322. There was a police officer stationed by my door. He stared at me hard like he knew who I was. He just nodded.
Cora was already sitting in the room. Dr. Flemming and Chase followed me into the room with a smaller entourage than usual.
“Dr. Flemming, I would like to stay to observe him overnight. I will need an office so I can go over the test results. Do you have any?”
“Of course, Dr. Letterby, you can use my office.” Just like before, his question was taken as a command.
“We need to let Mr. Keller get some sleep,” Chase said.
“Dr. Letterby, before we do that, can his visitors see him?” a nurse standing at the door said, blushing and looking down at the floor. Her actions didn’t faze Chase. I guess he was used to women acting that way around him.
“Well, that’s up to Ms. Keller.”
“That will be fine, but not too long.”
“Nurse Jones, tell Officer Weaver to let the visitors in and then he can go,” Dr. Flemming said.
I heard a sound like a stampede coming down the hall. All of the JV team and most of varsity entered my small room. Coach Miller was standing at the foot of my bed, holding a football.
“On behalf of the team, we want to give you the game ball. Without your plays in the last two games, we would not have won. Your hard work and det
ermination are an inspiration to all of us.” Coach Miller set the ball, which was filled with signatures, at the end of my bed. “Get better, son.”
Then one by one, each player walked up and touched my bed. Some said, “Get better,” or “Get well.” The last two players were Eric and Chad.
“Nicholas, I just wanted to say thanks.”
“For what?” I asked Chad.
“Well, for putting up with all the crap we gave you. We will make sure to play as hard as you did while you’re out. We won’t let you down.” Then Chad also patted the bed and walked out.
As soon as Chad left, Eric turned to me and said, “I can’t believe Chad Reiger was just in your room telling you he wouldn’t let you down. You are the luckiest guy alive.” He looked at me in the bed and said, “Well you know what I mean by lucky.”
“Don’t worry, Eric, I know what you meant.”
“I heard that Elle was here to check on you. You are so luck—”
Cora spoke up, “Eric, I’m sorry, Nicholas needs his sleep. You can see him later.”
“Okay. Sorry, Ms. Keller.” He leaned in close to me so only I could hear. “Tonight a legend was born.” He turned and bounced out of the room.
“Cora, go home. I’ll be fine. You have to be tired,” I said. She was awkwardly trying to sleep in one of those horrible hospital chairs.
“I can take care of Nicholas. Cora, go ahead. I promise to watch over him. Remember, he’s not really hurt,” Chase whispered with his hands around his mouth like he was playing a game of telephone.
Cora got up from the chair and sat down next to me, patting me on my head. “Nicholas, sleep well, and next time, make sure I’m in on the plan.”
No sooner had she left than I fell asleep listening to the sounds of my hospital room. I drifted into unconsciousness, and I was immediately surrounded by the familiar darkness. Off in the distance I heard Elle screaming for help, but I couldn’t move. The black swirling darkness was holding me still, paralyzing me. My muscles started to push against it, but Elle’s screaming broke my concentration. The darkness seeped into my lungs; I tried to breathe, but I couldn’t. I began to choke, just like before. Elle’s screams were horrifying. I had to fight to get to her. She needed me. The fire inside erupted and then I pushed back the putrid darkness with all of my might.
I awoke suddenly to find Chase standing over the top of me with a look of concern and intrigue twisted into his face.
“Nicholas, you okay? You were shaking pretty hard.”
“I just feel sick,” I whispered.
“You feel sick? How?” he asked.
“Before we talk, could I get some Tic Tacs? They make the sickness not as bad.”
Chase pressed the call button on my bed. Two nurses answered at the same time and in unison, “Can I help you, Dr. Letterby?”
“Yes, could one of you please bring me some Tic Tacs?”
“Yes, of course, Dr. Letterby, but what kind?” one of the nurses asked. He looked at me.
“White, please,” I said, fighting back the nausea.
“I will need white Tic Tacs, and could one of you dears bring me a cup of tea?” A few minutes passed and a smiling nurse entered the room holding ten different types of Tic Tacs.
“I didn’t know which ones you wanted, so I got one of each.” The nurse was out of breath, and her hair was falling down out of her bun. She looked like she had just run a 40-yard dash.
“Didn’t you hear that I only needed the white ones?” Chase asked. Her cheeks turned a scarlet red that matched her hair.
“Well, as soon as you said you wanted Tic Tacs, I ran down and got them.”
The other nurse came hurrying into the room with white Tic Tacs clenched in her teeth and one cup of tea in each hand, one iced and one hot. Different colored packs of sweeteners were balanced on her arm. She didn’t say anything; she just set the cups of tea down on the little table next to the bed. Both of the nurses just stood there.
“Well, ladies, you two have been incredibly prompt and very thorough. Make sure, before you get off your shift, to both give me your names and contact information because I am always looking for good nurses to assist me.” Before Chase had even finished his sentence, both of them were writing their information on whatever paper they could find in the room.
“Again, prompt. Thank you. That will be all.”
They both grabbed each other’s hands and left the room like two schoolgirls who had just been asked to the prom. I leaned forward, grabbed the white Tic Tacs, and popped them into my mouth.
“So how do you feel now, Nicholas?”
“I feel better. Thanks, Chase.”
“Tell me about your sickness.”
“Well, it feels like morning sickness. At least, that’s what I think it feels like.”
He shifted his weight in his chair and was now leaning closer to me, making sure not to miss anything. “How long has it been this way?”
“It all began when I started having these dreams about the darkness.”
He looked perplexed. “Interesting. Have you experienced anything else?”
“Besides my morning sickness and dreams?” I asked.
“Yes, like aching muscles, acid backing up into your throat, stomach feeling like it’s in knots, tightening of muscles?” He looked eager, anticipating my answer.
“No, I don’t have any of those things,” I lied. “Why?”
“Oh.” Disappointment washed over his face, and he sat back in his chair. He took one of the cups of tea and began to sip it. His interest died instantly. “Well, it’s probably low blood sugar. That’s why the Tic Tacs help,” Chase said. “You should really get some sleep now, Nicholas.”
“Before I sleep, could I ask you some questions, Chase?” He looked apprehensive. “I just wanted to know how you became such a successful doctor.”
Chase thought very hard, rubbing his chin. “I guess it couldn’t hurt anything if I told you how I became a great and successful doctor. Well, Nicholas, the whole doctor thing came really easy to me. I graduated early from Vanderbilt Medical School and did my residency at New York General. That’s where I became the doctor I am today.” He stopped talking. He was smiling, staring off into space. He was admiring something from his past, most likely himself. This was going to take all night if he kept stopping.
“But, Chase, how did you become a doctor to the stars?”
His face lit up; he could barely contain his smile. “Well that’s a funny story, Nicholas. It was my final year of residency, and I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. I could do pretty much anything in medicine because I was that good. I felt like I was waiting for something to help me make my decision. I picked up a late shift for a colleague on New Year’s Eve in the ER. It was an extremely cold December 31. It was about ten degrees below zero, and we had gotten four inches of fresh, powdery snow that day.” He stood up and started to act out the story.
“It was a very slow night. There had only been a couple of patients, and most of them had come in earlier before my shift started. I was attending to some paperwork when we received a call that there had been a head-on collision. A woman in her late teens with life threatening injuries was on her way in. As soon as I got up, the doors to the ER flew open. The paramedics were wheeling in the bloodied girl.” Chase was really getting into it now. He was not even looking at me; he was looking at the door. The two nurses who had gotten the Tic Tacs and tea were standing in the doorway, engulfed in Chase’s story. Seeing the nurses motivated him to really play it up now. It reminded me a lot of Eric.
“I took her into the exam room. She had lost a lot of blood. She was AB-negative, the rarest of blood types. I started to work on her broken body, which lay motionless on the table. Her vitals began to fade. I was losing her. Her heartbeat began to slow. The nurse in attendance came running into the room. She told me that we were out of blood, and, due to the weather, it would take twenty minutes
to get a backup supply. I knew my O-negative blood, which is the universal donor type, would buy the girl some precious time. I ripped off my coat and pulled up my sleeve, and I set up a transfusion from my arm to hers. While we were connected, I continued to work on her. I couldn’t let her die.”
Both of the nurses, who were now in the room, were hanging on every word Chase said. Was it even possible to give someone a transfusion straight from one person to another? It was his story and he was on a roll. I couldn’t stop him if I wanted to get answers.
“My blood bought the girl desperately needed time. I worked fast trying to put her back together. Finally, after four hours of surgery, I was finished. She was going to be okay.
“Right when I sat down to relax, still with the transfusion going, a nurse came in. ‘Dr. Letterby, someone is here to see her. Is it okay if they come back?’
“‘Yes, nurse, that will be fine,’ I said while unhooking the transfusion.
“A man and woman dressed in formalwear came into the room. They were surrounded by men in dark suits carrying guns. I stood up as the woman, who was wearing a beautiful, beaded lilac gown, floated to the side of the girl and began to weep. She looked like she had come straight from a New Year’s Eve party. The man was in a black tuxedo and was right by the woman’s side, comforting her.
“After a minute, he turned to me. ‘Will she be okay, young man?’
“‘I do believe she will be fine, sir,’ I replied to the man in the tuxedo. The men, who I guessed were secret service, blocked the doors so no one could enter or see in.
“The man in the tuxedo spoke again. ‘You are the physician who saved her life?’
“‘Yes, sir, but my team was—’
“He held up his hand. ‘Son there is no need to be modest. The nurses told us how there was no blood for her and you gave her your blood so she wouldn’t bleed to death. And you did this while you were saving her life. You are an incredible doctor and a hero.’”
I tried not to laugh at Chase; I had to turn my head and pretend to cough so he couldn’t tell. The two nurses, who had started out in the hall, had now managed to inch themselves into the room and were almost sitting on my bed, mouths wide-open in complete awe of Chase.
“Nicholas, do you know who that girl was that I saved in the ER on that cold New Year’s night?” Chase asked.
Before I could answer, the red-headed nurse said, “It was Princess Katherine.”
Chase smiled. “Yes, it was Princess Katherine. After that night, I became very close with the Royal Family, and that is how I found my calling of helping celebrity clientele. But I don’t just operate on the rich; I also operate on common folk like you.” He was looking right at the two nurses, and they started to applaud him like he was standing on stage after finishing a performance of Hamlet. I couldn’t believe he called them common and they still applauded.
This was my chance to find out his connection with Cora. “Chase, that was amazing, but how did you get to know my au—my mom so well?”
He smiled, still in storytelling mode. “Well, I met her at Vanderbilt, and we were really close friends. I helped her when—” He stopped abruptly. He looked at the nurses and said, “Thank you, ladies. You have been a great help. That will be all for tonight.”
They both looked disappointed, but they left nonetheless. I hoped he was having them leave so he could finish his thought.
“Nicholas, it’s time for bed.”
He turned the lights off before I could try to question him more. I lay there in the darkness even more curious about their relationship. The questions of the day consumed me, but once again, Elle melted away those thoughts.
When they came in to tell me the diagnosis, I acted like I was devastated. Cora even cried and comforted me. Chase convinced the staff at Bethesda South that I had a hairline fracture in a vertebra and that I shouldn’t play football again. No one there dared to challenge him. He kept me in the hospital for another week. It was horrible. Cora must have made a rule that I could have no more visitors because, after the first night, there was no sign of anyone coming to visit. Flowers, cards, and notes would show up, but nobody was attached to them except a candy striper or Cora.
After I was released, Chase left on his million-dollar jet, which was as big as a regular commercial liner. Chase tried again for the hundredth time to convince Cora to get on the plane with him, but the answer was still no.
Once home, I had to stay there for the next two weeks to keep up the charade of being severely injured. Being away from Elle for three weeks wasn’t part of my plan. Maybe just quitting would have been better. I kept waiting for Cora to lecture me, but again, like several times before, nothing. I kept busy by listening to music and watching TV.
The two weeks of confinement were finally coming to an end. I was able to keep up with my homework, thanks to Cora going to school to get my assignments from my counselor. After the first time she got my homework from Joy Lemmins, she came home swearing that we were going to move just so she wouldn’t have to talk to “that stupid nitwit” again. She was one of those people that Cora didn’t like to be around. I couldn’t blame her.
“Nicholas.” Cora walked into the family room where I was watching TV. She looked upset. Her normally precise mascara had run a little. Her nose was a tint of red. Before I was able to ask what was wrong, she said, “We are going to take a trip tomorrow before you go back to school.” She took a tissue and wiped her nose.
Take a trip? We never left our city limits unless we were moving, and we weren’t moving because she hadn’t done any packing.
“Cora, where are we going?”
“Nicholas, do you know what today’s date is?”
“I have no idea. It’s September something.”
“No, tomorrow’s the tenth of October.”
The grief that Cora had been experiencing covered me like a wet blanket. How could I not know the date? How? Tomorrow would be the five-year anniversary of my parents’ death. I put my face into my hands, feeling ashamed. The memories of that day started to flood back. Luckily, Cora sat down next to me and rubbed my back, keeping me in the present.
“I want to take you to see your parents’ graves.”
“Do you think it’s safe to go?”
“We have been gone too long, Nicholas. If we are careful, we should be fine.”
“Should be fine? Don’t you think it’s too big of a risk?”
“It is a big risk, and one that I don’t think we should take, but it has been too long.” She pulled out another tissue, tucked it in her sleeve, and wiped away some more tears. “It’s time we go home.”