Chapter 10
“You're the new guy,” the woman said as Harry was sitting in the kitchen eating his lunch.
“Not so new,” Harry said between bites as he pulled his attention away from the newspaper he had been reading.
“Oh yeah, how long have been here?” She asked gracefully gliding into the seat opposite Harry at the table.
“Almost 2 and half months,” Harry said trying not to be rude, but also not really sure he wanted to get too familiar with anyone at work.
“Well I'm Libby Short,” Libby said reaching out a hand.
“Harry Wright,” Harry said in reply and shaking her gently by the hand in a gesture of greeting.
“It's nice to meet you Harry Wright,” Libby said with a broad friendly smile that sat comfortably on her ruby lisp and Harry was sure that he could see a glint in her eye that hinted at a hidden mischievous side to her, even though she looked all business like on the outside. Apart from the bright red lips, she had very little makeup on and her light brunette hair shone the artificial light of the office and danced about her shoulders as if it had a life of its own.
“Likewise I'm sure,” Harry said hoping that he didn’t sound too rude as he didn’t want to aggravate or antagonize anyone in the office if he didn’t have to. On the other hand he didn’t want to get too friendly to anyone either, as he was sure that at any time he would be found out and forced to leave the bank.
“How are you settling in?” Libby said as she speared a piece of lettuce and egg from her salad and with her fork and delicately pulled it off again with her perfectly formed lips.
“Ok I guess,” Harry said, just before taking another bite from the sandwich.
“Good, I hear some of the traders on your team can be a bit,” she said and paused mid-sentence and she elegantly took another mouthful of her salad, “difficult.” As she Libby said word ‘difficult’ a little knowing smile appeared for a moment on her lips and then disappeared just as quickly. It seemed to Harry that she knew more than she was saying as if there had been something that had happened before he had arrived.
“So,” Harry started as this seemed to be a good moment to ask the question that had bothered him since he arrived, “why did my predecessor leave? I mean no one will tell me anything,” Harry said as every time he asked anyone the question they would just say something like ‘left to pursue other opportunities,’ or such nonsense that sort of half explained it and then they would quickly change the subject. Most of the time Harry didn’t want to pursue it further as he felt that it may be overstepping the mark a little, but Libby may have been just far enough outside of things to actually tell him the reason.
“Oh there was a clash of personalities,” Libby said with a quick half smile that only appeared so briefly that Harry thought for a moment that he had more imagined it than anything.
“Yes that’s pretty much what everyone says,” Harry said with a sigh of frustration.
“No really there was a clash of personalities between your predecessor and Robert Gehlert,” she said in a soft voice almost as though she didn’t want anyone else to hear her. “And Robert won out,” she then added a little louder. Yes but what really happened, Harry thought to himself wanting to get the full story so that he, perhaps, he could avoid the same mistake. “He,” she said meaning Robert Gehlert, “usually does. I mean he almost always gets what he wants and pushes people to the limit if he doesn’t,” the was something in her tone that Harry thought meant that Libby had some history with this Robert Gehlert and that perhaps she was one of his conquests.
“Don’t get me wrong he’s good at what he does,” Libby said before Harry could say anything. “But it's just that you need to how to handle him,” she then added between mouthfuls.
“And you do?” Harry asked with something of knowing smile and tone of voice that he didn’t really use too often.
“Oh god no,” Libby replied as though the very idea was just too repulsive a thought for her to even consider. “Not for want of trying of course,” she then added before Harry could say anything. “I mean I usually have a clear ‘no dating at work’ policy,” she said in such a way that led Harry to believe had been, and could still be, some exceptions.
“’Usually’?” Harry then asked in that same knowing way he’d used a couple of minutes ago.
“Yes,” Libby said as she finished her lunch and looked at her mobile phone. “Oh fuck,” she said in a such a silky voice that even the usual vulgar nature of the word sounded as though it were wrapped in a silky satin, “is that the time? I’d better get back.” Libby said as she stood up and started to clean up her things. “We really should do this again sometime,” Libby said just before she walked out of the kitchen door leaving Harry alone to his thoughts.
Now, now, don’t get too attached, Harry thought to himself when he was certain he was a lone. After all you probably won't be here long and you remember what happened with Susan, he then added sternly to himself as a warning that things could quite easily get out of hand. But then things already had gotten out of hand and he wasn’t entirely sure how had managed to keep things going for this long, and had never meant to in the first place. It’ll just be a bit of fun, Harry could remember the thought that had crossed his mind as he looked in the mirror at himself one morning almost two and half years ago.
***
“I thought you didn’t date people at work?” Harry said as Libby sat down at the restaurant table, a couple of days after they had first met Libby had sent Harry a message asking if they could meet up one night after work and Harry didn’t really have much of any excuse other than he didn’t want to. But that sounded a little rude to Harry and besides Libby seemed nice company to be around and it was only dinner. So he had agreed and Libby had suggested a little Italian place she knew and it was set for the following Friday night.
Harry had decided on one of his best suits, that he usually wore a checkered waistcoat with and a dark bow tie that looked like it was black was in fact a deep purple and Harry loved the idea that most people thought that it was black. That was something that excited Harry about showing people one thing that was in fact something else, and that was part of what had started him on the journey that had led to this point in the first place.
“Oh I don’t usually,” Libby said as the waiter passed them a menu each and poured a couple of glasses of water.
“Why make the exception for me?” Harry asked hoping that didn’t sound as rude to Libby as it did him, even though he didn’t mean it that way.
“Well to be honest Harry there's something different about you and I just can’t quite put my finger on it,” Libby said smiling and trying to get to give Harry the impression that she meant that it a good way.
“I'm glad you think so,” Harry said and then added if only you knew, to himself as he looked over the menu.
“I don’t know, maybe it's just that we've been here almost 10 minutes and you have tried to impress me with the size of your erm bank balance,” she said and Harry thought for a moment that she might have been going to say something else, but then changed her mind half way through the sentence and the thought what she might have been about to say made him smile just a little bashfully. It was there for a only a couple of seconds before Harry was able to regain his composure, but the smile had lasted just long enough for Libby to pick up on it.
That’s just what I mean, Libby thought to herself. “Oh erm I'm not usually this nervous on a date you know,” Libby suddenly said, reflecting how she felt in the inside. “It's just that I really don’t know anything about you,” she then added trying to fill the silence.
“Well I'm not married or seeing anyone, if that’s what you meant,” Harry said almost biting his tongue as he realized how that could’ve have sounded and that he really hadn't intended it to sound that way. “I mean I was married but there hasn’t been anyone since,” he then added to try to defuse the situation.
“Oh no that wasn’t what I meant,” Libby said and the added but it's good to know that anyway, o herself as she didn’t fancy being someone’s bit on the side. “No it's just that when someone joins this bank they usually come from another bank and the rumor mill gets going even before they arrive,” Libby said trying to explain what she meant. “But in your case there was nothing,” Libby added hoping that she wasn’t babbling just to make conversation.
“Good,” Harry said and smiled satisfied that no one was talking about him. I might just be able to pull this off then, Harry though as the waiter returned to take their order. And maybe dating someone will help my cover, Harry then thought as he watched Libby give her order to the waiter and no more than a minute or so after the thought entered his head Harry tried to dismiss it as he didn’t want to deceive her as she seemed quite nice and probably deserved better than that.
“So, have you ever been married?” Harry asked trying to sound interested.
“Me? Oh god no,” Libby replied as if the very idea was unthinkable. “I mean I've dabbled a little here and there, but, well you know,” Libby then added.
“Not met the right person?” Harry asked trying to keep him conversation going in order to avoid an awkward silence more than being genuinely interested.
“Kind of,” Libby said looking a little shy herself now that he had asked something that was bit of a sore subject with her on times. “Well more like, well you know, not enough time to look due to wok and the like,” Libby added feeling a little exposed by the question.
“What about you?” Libby asked quickly trying to turn the attention away from her and back on to Harry. “I mean how come you never dated again after your marriage ended?” Libby asked in order to clarify what she meant by her previous question.
“He, I mean she,” Harry said quickly corrected himself and hoping Libby hadn't noticed. “She was pretty much the love of my life,” he then said quickly so that Libby wouldn’t have time to notice his earlier slip of the tongue. Come on Harry keep it together now, loose lips and all that, he thought to himself as he tried to see if she had noticed his little error.
“He?” Libby asked confused by the slip by Harry and wondering whether she had heard him right.
“No she, my late wife, Emily,” Harry said lying to cover up his error of a couple of minutes ago and then took a deep long drink from his wine glass. “Sorry should probably stay off the booze,” Harry added quickly as if being a little tipsy would explain his error and gave him a moment at least to think of something.
“I guess so,” Libby said still a little confused.
“Sorry it's a difficult subject for me,” Harry then said quickly so as not allow Libby time to think. “She err died almost three years ago you see,” Harry said telling Libby almost the truth about what had happened.
“Oh I'm sorry,” Libby said and reached out to touch Harry’s hand sympathetically, but as she touched his hand Harry looked quite uncomfortable with the gesture. He left his hand there for as long as seemed polite and then pulled it away as soon as etiquette would allow.
“You’re still not quite over her are you?” Libby asked feeling Harry’s discomfort at her caress.
“No, no not quite,” Harry said as she brief smile flashed across his lips, which was more due to a feeling of satisfaction that she seemed to have bought his little lie than due to her attempt at comforting him.
Their meals arrived soon after this and they two of them ate almost in compete silence except for the occasional small talk about the weather or how their jobs were going. At one point Libby felt the need to fill the awkward silence with something, anything, that would take away the strangeness that seemed to have descended on the meal so that it wouldn’t be completely lost as a waste of time. But it didn’t quite work as all seemed to be able to do was to blurt out snippets of little stories of when she was growing up and there was still something hanging large in the air around their table. It felt as though they had their own atmosphere that enveloped only their table.
By the time they had ordered desert Libby felt as though something had eased between them and Harry seemed to be a lot more cheery by now as the handsome smile that she had first seen a few weeks ago returned to his lips and she remembered what she had first seen in him. That made up for the little slip he had made a little bit earlier and she was prepared to put that down to either nerves, alcohol or both. After all there are worst things he could have done, Libby said to herself as her strawberry sorbet arrived.
“Would you like to come back to my place?” Libby asked as Harry took a first mouthful of his desert and she surprised even herself with her query.
“Well I don’t know if it's a good idea,” Harry said when he’d swallowed the mouthful of apple tart he’d been chewing. “I mean this is our first date and all,” Harry said trying not to offend Libby by turning her down directly.
“Oh that’s ok,” Libby said not seeing that he was trying to let her down gently. “I mean it's just for coffee,” she then added suggestively.
“Ok, just for coffee then,” Harry replied. Yes and you make your excuses to leave as soon as is polite, Harry told himself sternly.
About twenty minutes after they had settled the bill Harry and Libby were back at her little flat Harry was sitting on the sofa while Libby made the coffee. Harry found himself looking around the living room and thought that Libby had made good use of the limited space available. There were a few photos of Libby hung in the wall, mostly of when she was teenager and looked as if they showed her having received prizes for various sporting events and there was one of her that had been taken at her graduation from university or college. In one of the corners there was a little table that had photos of what Harry assumed were her parents and what looked like siblings too, a younger brother and sister.
“Do you take milk?” Libby asked from the kitchen after a couple of minutes.
.”Oh yes please,” Harry replied from the living room.
“Ok,” Libby called back and soon after she reappeared in the living carrying two cups of coffee, one of which she handed to Harry and the other placed on the table just in front of the sofa when she had sat down next to him. Harry then took a sip from the cup nervously as she saw Libby looking into his and then she placed a hand on his thigh, which made him feel distinctly uncomfortable.
“What are you doing?” Harry asked as Libby gazed into his hazel eyes and gently squeezed his thigh.
“Can’t you tell?” She asked as she closed the gap between them and lent in to kiss Harry. She then pressed her soft ruby lips against and closed her eyes as she settled in the kiss. Then suddenly Harry pulled back away from her almost spilling his cup in the process, but managed to avoid doing so as he stood up urgently in one swift movement.
“What are you doing?” Harry asked as he all but slammed the cup down on the table and looked at her furiously.
“Oh sorry is it too soon?” Libby asked still sitting almost in the same position as when she had started to kiss him. “I mean it's been 3 years since your wife died,” she then added as if that were the issue.
“It's not that, it's,” Harry said as he visible shook from head to foot and almost blurted out something that he hadn't meant to say. “It's just, sorry but I can’t do this,” he then added and to Libby it looked as though he were going to explode.
“What is it then?” She asked trying to be understanding. “Are you gay?” She then asked thinking about his little slip earlier in the restaurant.
“Oh god no, no, not in the least,” Harry insisted as he continued to shake with fury. “I'm sorry I just can’t do this,” he then said as he stormed out of the flat all but slamming the front door behind him.
You idiot Harry, the then scolded himself as he hit the wall in frustration. You almost let things get out of hand again, he then thought to himself more sympathetically as he tapped his forehead against his arms that were no
w resting against the wall.