All at once, they stopped, and I opened my eyes to see us pulling into my garage.
“Safe,” Draven said under his breath as he looked at me.
Lightning illuminated behind the garage as thunder crashed above us.
“The problem we have now is that I have no way of making sure you are…” I said, looking behind myself to watch the wind punishing the trees with a raging force. “I think you should stay here until this blows over.”
His eyes softened as he put the Hummer in park. “You really want me to stay with you?”
My heart started to pound in my chest, and my ears burned as I realized how bold that request was. “I – I just don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”
The corners of his perfect lips turned into a slight smile. “You’re worth the pain – trust me,” he said. As he reached for my hand and laced his fingers through mine, his thumb started to trace small circles on my skin.
“When you do that, I feel your skin hum…I don’t understand it; I wonder if it’s the music,” I said quietly, watching his thumb move and remembering how magically his hands seemed when he played.
He leaned closer to me, and his hypnotizing green eyes were just inches away. “Your skin hums, too.”
I smiled vaguely, not knowing what else to do. He didn’t smile back; he just held my gaze and leaned closer to me. I held my breath, and every part of me tensed. He titled his head tenderly and whispered, “Breathe.”
I let a quiet breath out; I was so tense, I couldn’t move. He reached his hand to cradle my face, then pulled my lips to his. As I felt his tender, warm lips on mine, my entire body relaxed. I felt so light, I thought it was quite possible that I’d float away. I smiled through his kiss, feeling more alive right now than I ever had.
He slowly pulled away, and a blushing smile spread across his face. “Now everything is humming,” he whispered.
I blushed and smiled as if to agree.
Chapter 10
I felt my phone vibrate in my bag, and I cringed. Draven leaned slightly back. “Someone’s looking for you.”
The numbing feeling his kiss had given me faded, and the fear that I’d lose him before I really knew him again came over me. I reached in my bag and pulled out my phone, hoping that was the one that was vibrating – a relieved smile came across my face as I saw Kara’s name on the Caller ID. I slid the bar.
“I’m in the garage,” I said as looked into Draven’s eyes.
At that moment, the back door opened and Kara waved us in. I slid my phone in my bag and reached for the door.
“You’re coming in, right?”
His smile grew as he nodded.
Kara stepped into the garage as we walked toward her. “I was calling to tell you to stay there – we’re under a severe storm warning.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty bad out there,” I said, looking back at Draven.
“I don’t think you should drive back until it passes, Draven,” Kara said. “Why don’t you guys go play music or something?”
“Sounds perfect,” Draven said, blushing as he looked at me.
“How was dinner?” Kara asked me as she pushed the door open for us to come in.
“Interesting,” I said, mocking the word she always seemed to use.
As she looked up at Draven, he shook his head no once and the hopeful expression Kara had fell.
“Alright – interesting is good. I’m done for the night. If this gets worse, wake me up so we can go down to the basement.”
“If we play, is it gonna keep you up?” I asked.
Thunder crashed above the house as I said the words.
Kara raised her eyebrows. “If anything, it’ll help me sleep – I hate storms.”
“Then we’ll play really loud,” Draven said charismatically as he reached for my hand and looped his fingers through mine.
Kara smiled, then turned to leave the room. I started to pull Draven toward the living room. With each step we took, the louder the guitar sound became; by the time we reached the stairs, it sounded like we were standing in the center of a concert.
“If she could hear this – we wouldn’t need to play for her,” I said, looking back at him as I climbed the stairs.
“It’s not hers to hear.”
When we reached my room, I let my bag fall by the short wall, then followed him up the stairs that led to the studio. He walked to the window and looked toward his house, then pulled out his phone. I cautiously walked up behind him. I could see almost everything in his studio from here. Aden was sitting on the couch with a guitar across himself - he reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone.
“Hey,” Draven said as he answered. “I’m gonna stay over here for a while – if it dies down before you pass out, will you just bring her car over? We can ride back together.”
Draven listened as Aden spoke, then responded, “I’ve seen worse – but yeah, it’s pretty vicious out there.”
Aden waved at me through the window; I smiled slightly and waved back. Draven slid his phone back in his pocket. “He said to tell you ‘sweet dreams’.”
“You guys are really fond of dreaming, aren’t you?” I said as I turned to get my guitar – I wanted to play the gray electric one again.
Draven laid the case that was on the couch on the floor, then sat down and watched me walk to him. “Dreams are the mind’s- eye,” he said as I pulled the strap of the guitar across myself and sat down next to him.
“I can’t remember the last time I dreamed,” I said quietly.
Draven relaxed into the couch as he let his arm stretch out behind me. “What do you think about as you drift to sleep?” he asked.
I gripped the neck on the guitar and played through a few chords flawlessly before I answered him. “I…I think about silence.”
“Maybe tonight you should listen to it, instead of thinking about it,” he said, nodding his head for me to play some more.
I let my finger dance across the strings, not really attempting to make solid sound. I was starting to mock the sound all around us, and I had no idea how I was doing it. “It’s hard to listen to something you never hear.”
Draven started to lace his fingers through the long tips of my dark hair. My heart was racing, but I was enjoying every second of it.
“Silence can be heard at every moment …you need to see your senses as something you can control….you’re not at the mercy of them…they’re at the mercy of you.”
I played a few more chords, trying to stay in rhythm with the guitar sound all around us. When my fingers started to ache, I let go. I didn’t want to play anymore – I wanted to figure him out. I stood and safely placed my father’s guitar in the stand. Draven held my stare as I slowly walked back to his side.
“Is it the same with seeing? Do you see what you want? Do you see what that Landen guy can – I mean, does your birthday state that, too?” I asked, looking into his perfect emerald green eyes.
The corners of his tender lips turned into a slight smile as his eyes danced over my face. “I’d rather see what Austin says that Landen can see…it would make a lot of things easier…”
I could see anger cloud his eyes, and for the first time I saw fear and betrayal behind them. I couldn’t help but think that it was my fault…I hurt him. My breath became shallow, and I struggled to hold his stare as I spoke. “I’m sor---“ he pulled me closer as he slowly shook his head, stopping me from apologizing. I let my eyes fall between us. Every part of me wanted to close that gap – to embrace him and feel the energy from his skin, the strength of his arms around me…his kiss. I closed my eyes as memories of moments filled with passion flooded my mind. My skin blushed and my heart pounded as I struggled to understand if they were real. I leaned further away and looked down and tried to think of something beyond the emotions that were screaming at me.
“Does that make any sense, though?” I finally said. “That Landen’s birthday gave him special traits?” I shook my head. “Seems absurd to me.??
?
He laughed quietly under his breath and reached for my hand. “That’s a debate you’ll have to have with Madison – she seems to understand that science.”
“So you don’t think your birthday gave you anything special? You agree with me?” I asked, daring to look into his eyes again.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m a Taurus…we’re known for our temper…and I have that.”
My eyes fell from his. I had seen anger in eyes more than I cared for, but I knew it wasn’t a violent anger…it was one with pain, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to bring up why that emotion was there.
“There has to be a good side to that sign,” I mumbled as I tried to change the subject.
“Well…Madison says it’s one of the reasons I have a strong voice….but that’s debatable.”
My eyes quickly rose to his. “Are you kidding – debatable? That is not debatable….I love…,” I hesitated as flashes of him came to me…I could remember how the sound of his voice would take every fear away. “I love your voice,” I whispered. An ache tore through the center of my soul, and I couldn’t understand how one word – love – could spark a pain that deep in me. My eyes fell, and my breathing became shallow once again. Draven leaned forward as concern filled his face.
I shook my head as I stared at him. “I don’t understand what’s wrong with me,” I mumbled as my eyes moved across his flawless features.
“Nothing is wrong with you,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows.
“Something is…I think...I think I’ve forgotten something…something that didn’t deserve to be forgotten.”
He let his arm fall from behind the couch around me, then pulled me closer to him.“Everyone is telling me that I should tell you what you’ve forgotten – that I should carry you away to some distant place, but they don’t know you like I do.”
I looked up at him, and he leaned down and let his lips gently touch mine. As I slowly moved my lips against his, I felt his energy flow into me. I told myself to breathe…to just breathe. As he pulled away, his eyes looked deep into mine. “My Charlie…the Charlie I know…she’s not scared or lost…she knew exactly who she was and what she wanted – I know if you’ve forgotten something that you had your reasons…and right now, I feel guilty…I feel like I’m holding you back.”
“From what?” I asked as I furrowed my eyebrows.
“I don’t know – I just know a few days ago, I lost you…part of me is saying to let your memory stay lost – that it’s safer that way.” His eyes looked down. “And the other part of me - along with everyone else - is telling me that you’re in danger.”
The guitar sound around us erupted as if to agree that the path I was on was the wrong one. Draven’s eyes closed as I heard it, and he let out a frustrated sigh.
“Would you be able to protect me if I was in danger?” I asked timidly.
His eyes opened, and a painful anger filled his expression. “You have never once asked me to do that…you’re too stubborn.” His perfect lips tried to smile, but his sadness wouldn’t let them.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
He nodded. “Without a doubt, we’re stronger together than we are apart…but you know something I don’t, and the only way to figure out what it is…is to let your memory come back on its own.”
“What if it doesn’t?”
His eyes danced across my face, then settled in mine. “Then…I guess I have no choice but to… beg you to fall in love with me again….because I can’t live without you.”
“Again,” I said as my breath left me.
In my mind, thousands of memories of he and I together echoed through my thoughts. Adrenaline was coursing through every part of me. I couldn’t put one thought in front of the other - I couldn’t hold on to one memory long enough to understand it. It was as if someone was showing me a life lived from a distance. I felt a thousand emotions. I knew what was between us was imperfectly beautiful. It was like I was grieving for him – like my heart was waking up and I realized how blind I really was – ‘again’ was the wrong word… I never could have stopped loving him.
He slowly reached his hand up, then cradled my face. Not waiting for him to pull me to him, I leaned into his kiss. He held me so tight, I thought I could barely breathe. Suddenly, the urge not to allow any distance between us came over me, and I pulled him closer to me, embracing every angelic move of his lips.
Draven lifted me into his lap, then laid me down on the couch. I could feel the strength in every part of his body. I could feel his anger, passion, and grief; for the time, I didn’t know who he was. I held him tighter, even though I could feel the power of his arms as his hands moved against my body; I wasn’t close enough. My skin blushed, my heart raced, and I found it hard to breathe – his touch, his kiss - it felt like life was coming back to me – power was coming into me. Not a supernatural power – just the power of knowing who you are… knowing that you are loved.
My mind was cruel to me. I knew I had broken his heart long before yesterday, and I hated myself for that. Angry tears came to the corners of my eyes. My thoughts were screaming at me – just remember! Remember it all! How could you forget him?! What did you do to him?!
The angry tears pooled from my eyes, then fell silently along my cheek; once they reached Draven, his lips moved from mine, then danced across my cheek and down my neck. He was trying to take it all away: my fear, my pain, my heartache…but it wasn’t my heart I was worried about. His arms tightened around me, then pulled me on top of him. I closed my eyes and laid on his chest. I felt his hand gently move across my back. He reached for my hand and placed it on his chest. “I feel you coming back to me,” he whispered.
We were both trembling with emotions that couldn’t be contained in words. I began to commit the beat of his heart to memory – I would never let anyone take his memory from me again.
A moment later, he began to hum a soft lullaby. I could remember the song…it was the first song he had written for me. I held his chest as tight as I could as I tried to grasp a memory long enough to make it mine again.
I felt his fingers glide through my hair. I closed my eyes in agony as an overwhelming desire to keep him safe came to me. I felt like I tried to do just that, but all I’d done was make things worse.
I drifted to sleep and let the echoes of a life I couldn’t recall rush through my mind. I wanted my memory back – all of it…I wanted us back.
The sound of his heartbeat chased me into my dreams; at first, I didn’t even know I was asleep. Then all of the sudden, I found myself standing under a starlight sky, swaying back and forth in Draven’s arms. I wasn’t afraid of the darkness - I couldn’t hear any whispers. All I could feel was gratitude for that moment – it was like we had been apart and I cherished that moment. I could feel a warm breeze blowing through my hair and smell the salt in the air. I looked up at him to find him smiling adoringly down at me.
“You don’t have to say it back,” he whispered. “I know we’ve never said it before – but I needed you to know how I feel.”
In my dream, my eyes questioned him.
“I’ve always loved you, Charlie – even before I knew what the word meant.”
A smile spread across my face. Just as I began to say the words back to him, a crash of thunder woke me from my blissful dream. I sat up, trying to catch my breath. Draven must have fallen asleep, too; he looked startled by the loud noise.
“Maybe we need to go to a room that doesn’t have so many windows,” he said, stretching his arms out.
I pulled myself up and tried to hold the emotion I felt in that dream – to understand it. I looked out the window just as lightning spider-webbed across the sky. As Draven walked closer to the window to look at his house, I saw him grin and shake his head. I stood and took one step forward, then I could see what he was laughing at: Aden was sound asleep on the floor next to the couch.
“That looks like it’s gonna hurt when he wakes up,” I said in a concerne
d tone.
Draven laughed under his breath as he pulled out his phone and sent out a text. I watched as Aden jumped in his sleep – he read what Draven had sent, then nodded and pulled himself up and left the room.
“He’s not coming to get you, is he? It still looks bad,” I said in a pleading tone – I didn’t want him to go - not yet.
Draven walked slowly to my side, put his arm around me, and guided me to the stairs. “It’s almost four. I just told him to go to his room and come get me at daylight - this should pass by then.”
I let out a sigh of relief – daylight was always safer – less shadows. When we reached my room, I slid out of my boots, then his hoodie. I folded the hoodie neatly and laid it across the short wall. Draven sat on the edge of my bed and scrolled through his phone. “Whatever this is will clear out in just a little bit – they just said to stay away from windows; I don’t think we need to wake Kara up,” he said, looking up at me.
I didn’t say anything; I just stared at his perfect image as I replayed the dream I had – I didn’t know if it was something that really happened or just something I wished had happened. I walked to the edge of my bed and sat next to him.
“Have we ever been to the beach together?” I asked, looking up at him.
A smile came to the corners of his lips. “Did you dream?”
I nodded as the sound of the guitar rejoiced around us.
“We’ve been to several ,” he said, staring intently into my eyes.
“Who said ‘I love you’ first?” I asked, holding his stare.
“Well…I’m sure we said it a lot when we were really little…but…when I was seventeen….you were almost sixteen….I finally told you how I felt.”
“On a beach, under the stars,” I whispered.
A grin spread across his perfect image. “That’s right,” he said, leaning forward to steal a kiss. I wanted to kiss him back, but I was too curious and I pulled away quickly.