Ian, it turned out, was pretty much just like Kennan. He took our lessons quite seriously. I had to promise to go through each stance every morning before breakfast. He said it would help with muscle memory. By the time my lesson had finished, Kennan still hadn’t resurfaced.
“Should we be worried that he isn’t back yet?" I asked Ian.
“Nah, he probably just ran up a mountain or something," Ian said, without a trace of humor.
I just gawked at him as we made our way inside.
“Well, shotgun on the shower," I said, sprinting toward the bathroom.
“You suck, Isadora!" I heard Ian call after me.
I stopped dead in my tracks. “What did you call me?"
“Isadora. It’s what your dad wanted to name you, but your mom liked Izzy better. Your dad refused to just call you Izzy though so he called you Isadora to drive your mom batty," Ian laughed at the memory.
“I wish she would have listened to him. Do you know how hard it is to be an adult with a name like Izzy?" I asked, but I knew that I would keep that name no matter what. It was something of my mother’s that no one could take from me.
“Don’t think you are distracting me from my shotgun call. That shower is mine buster," I said before turning back to the shower.
After we both got cleaned up, we moved to the couch and watched a movie on my tablet. Ian found the Count of Monte Cristo and labeled it the only even remotely manly movie in the mix. We sat there watching the movie for about an hour before Kennan resurfaced. He came into the cabin dripping wet and looking just as pent up as when he had taken off.
“Can we postpone that ward lesson for the day?" he asked gruffly.
I just nodded as he moved his way toward the bathroom. The shower kicked on and he came out a few minutes later with a towel wrapped around his waist. I was hoping it would fall, but no such luck. He grabbed some sweatpants and pulled them on, followed by a t-shirt. He dropped himself into the closest chair as Ian and I continued to stare at him.
“What?" he asked.
“Oh, nothing, we were just wondering if we could go ahead and start with the memorial service. We’ve been waiting on you there big guy," Ian said.
“Oh gods, I’m sorry, Izzy. I totally forgot," his eyes filled with remorse.
“It’s okay, we still have time. But I think we might have to do it around this fire, because I really don’t think we will get one started out there," I said, pointing toward the now pouring rain outside.
“That would work just fine," Ian said as he piled more logs on the fire.
We spent the evening sitting on the floor in front of the fire exchanging stories of my mother. Both of them had far more memories to add than I did. I laughed and cried as a mother I didn’t ever really get to know was honored. I was struck with how much of an imprint she had left on both Ian’s and Kennan’s hearts, and I wanted so much to be like her. I wanted to be able to change people the way she had, and leave such goodness behind. I hoped that I could honor her memory with my life.
We went to bed as the flames turned to embers. I slipped towards my room, with Kennan following close enough to be my shadow. He leaned down as I reached the door and kissed me on my forehead and then my cheek. He sighed deeply before relinquishing his hold on me. I looked up into his eyes, awestruck. I wanted so badly to kiss this man, but I knew he was holding back. I didn’t want him if I couldn’t have it all. So I stepped away from him and whispered my good night as I shut the door.
**********
NINETEEN
The next few weeks passed without much excitement. I continued working on my escape routes and my training with both Ian and Kennan. Ian was like a drill sergeant during our training, but would revert back to his jovial self immediately afterward. Lessons with Kennan were torturous. I desperately wanted to focus learning to put up wards and protection, but my ever growing attraction to him made that a rather difficult prospect. We seemingly spent more time restraining ourselves than we did with the lessons.
So the days went on. I found myself getting stronger and my reflexes growing sharp. I managed to do all of the exit hikes solo. I even handled the overnight hike on my own without freaking out. Kennan spent the weeks drilling into my head where to go if something happened, and who I would need to contact. So the days passed with me training and hoping that I would be able to survive whatever was coming my way. I went to sleep every night waiting for Xavier, but never finding him. It wasn’t until four weeks later that I had another vision and finally knew what needed to be done.
I was sitting in the living room after a long day of training, debating Ian’s methods of instruction, when I was struck by a vision. I heard a glass break and muffled voices as my surroundings disappeared.
**********
I was back at the bridge collapse, only this time there were two images. One superimposed over the other. I tried to remember what was happening and stood still long enough to get my bearings. This time it was easier to recognize the vision for what it was. I took in my surroundings, and saw in one vision a gaping hole where a bridge once stood, and the other held a bridge that was free from traffic. The latter had construction vehicles parked all around with detour signs for any oncoming traffic.
I tried to focus on the scene of the ruined bridge and remember what my mother and Kennan had taught me. I looked in all of the cars for a newspaper, cursing the new digital age with each failed attempt. Finally, I reached a car that had a paper folded under a briefcase. I saw the date was a mere week away. I looked for anything that might help me know where I was, finally, I saw a sign on the bridge saying it was the Bidwell Bar Bridge. I looked further to see if I could find any signs indicative of where this bridge might be. I found a sign saying highway 162. Well, that would probably be enough information.
Just as I was about to pull out of the vision, I saw Xavier standing on the other side of the yawning gap. He looked at me and smiled, and I did the most unladylike thing I had done in a long time. I flipped him the bird before pulling myself out.
**********
“Izzy, are you okay?” Ian asked, sounding shocked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just had a vision. I know where Xavier expects to get his next big pay check. Well, at least I have a general idea and time. I also know we can stop it."
“Dude, is it always like that?" Ian asked Kennan, still freaked out.
“Yeah, with her it is. But I think it has something to do with the way she sees things. I had to go in the last time and drag her out. It’s intense, man," Kennan said.
“Sitting right here, you know?" I asked. “So, does anyone want to know my ingenious plan?" I asked, thrumming my fingers together like a maniacal super villain.
“Sure, what do you have?" Kennan asked hesitantly.
“Well, we know that Xavier gets a chunk of his money from insurance scams that result from disasters. I’m thinking we should interfere with his little profit scheme on this one. I have the basic information of where the bridge is, I just need to look up some specifics. Then we can contact the highway department and pretend to be inspectors or something and report the problem," I said, realizing that as a mastermind plan went it kind of sounded cheesy.
“Well, that could work. But you know that you can’t change it all of the time, right?" Kennan asked, concerned.
“It was a double layer vision. I think we’re good on this one. Plus, I really want to piss your brother off," I said with a smirk.
“Okay, well you’re going to need an internet connection to figure out all of the information you need. Just try and keep to high traffic sites. Otherwise, they might pick up on your intentions," Kennan said, running his hand over his face.
He got up and walked over to his bag, pulling out a little gadget that would provide me with WiFi to do my research. I spent the next few hours tracking down all of the phone numbers and credential information I would need.
By the time I had gotten everything I needed, the guys had gone out
side to train. I sat thrumming my fingers on the keyboard trying to decide whether or not to check my email. Not that there would be much there, but maybe I’d gotten something.
There were about a thousand spam messages in my inbox as well as a message from Mike. I’d been so worried about him and couldn’t wait to read what he had to say.
Dear Izzy,
I ran. I am safe. I am in that place that makes me happy.
Mike
Relief washed over me as I took in his words. In typical Mike fashion, he kept it to the point. I knew exactly how to find him. I was sitting on the couch doing a stationary happy dance when the guys ventured back in.
“Mike’s safe," I practically squealed at Kennan.
“How do you know that?" Kennan asked, suddenly wary.
“He sent me an email," I said, confused.
“You checked your email. Are you stupid Izzy, or do the visions just cloud your judgment?" Kennan practically screamed at me.
“I don’t understand. What did I do?" I asked, panicked.
“They’re probably tracing your email, Izzy," Ian said calmly, and without a trace of his usual humor.
“They might not have looked. We will just wait it out and see what happens. I need you to log out and hand me back the adapter," Kennan said calmly and detached.
“Man, they probably gave up on that avenue weeks ago. I wouldn’t worry about it," Ian said, trying to convince himself as much as Kennan.
“I, I didn’t know. I didn’t even think. I’m so sorry," I sputtered. Anxiety washed over me and I felt something in the air shift.
I looked up at both of the men, trying to see if they had felt the shift but neither of them seemed to notice. They’d started speaking in Gaelic so that I wouldn’t understand. I sat back on the couch, sinking into the cushions and cleared my mind. It was time I went for a walk in the fog to see what was happening.
As soon as I popped in Xavier was there.
**********
“Gotcha," he said with a knowing grin.
“You have to catch me first," I said, full of bravado.
“I don’t think that will be terribly difficult. I’m sure my brother will once again be unable to pull the trigger. I, luckily, don’t suffer from those same emotional contrivances," he said with a sneer.
“You know, I don’t have time for this. I wanted to see if you had found me, and you have. I don’t know how long it will take you to get here, but if you think you will find me, you’re out of your mind. Oh, and I hope you enjoy the little surprise I have coming your way," I said with a wink as I pulled myself back to the present.
**********
“Okay, Izzy, this is the plan," Kennan started, obviously not aware that I had been gone. “We’re going to wait it out here. Tonight Ian and I will do some scout runs around the perimeter to make sure they haven’t found us. Then tomorrow we will head out.”
“Well, I think we should go ahead and alert the highway department so that we can make sure the road gets fixed. That way those people don’t have to die. I don’t want that on my conscience," I said as I started to form a plan myself.
“Alright, Ian will take care of that and I’ll head out and do a quick sweep," Kennan nodded toward Ian, all efficiency, before heading out the door.
“What are you thinking, Izzy?" Ian asked suspiciously.
“I was just thinking about how much of a moron I was to not even think about them tracing my email," I said, hoping that he would believe the load of bull I was trying to sell.
“Okay, well I better hop to it. I have to put on my best road condition inspector persona. It may take a while to get into character," Ian said with a regal stage bow.
“Right, well, while you’re at that, I’m going to go lie down for a while. Those visions always wipe me out," I said, only half lying. I was exhausted, but mostly I wanted to be alone so that I could figure out what to do.
I closed my door and locked it before moving to my escape bag and dumping it out. I went through all of the contents, making sure I reloaded everything I would need for the next few days. I knew in my heart that if I stayed, Xavier would kill both Kennan and Ian. But if I fled, and made my way to the Council, well, then maybe they would be safe. I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to either of the men that had come to mean so much to me. Ian, the brother I never knew I was missing out on and Kennan, the man I loved. I thought about my plan and knew that it was risky. I also knew that it was quite possibly dumbest thing I would ever do.
I quickly repacked my bag, making sure I had enough sustenance for several days in the backcountry. I packed several sets of clothing, and made sure I had all of the maps from the house detailing my hiking routes. I wouldn’t be caught out there due to another stupid mistake. Oh, let me just leave this map showing my exact location. Nope, for once I was doing something smart. I looked at the bag and then back at the door.
I heard Kennan come in and knew that I would have to do my best to hide my intentions. It would be a miracle if he didn’t figure it out. He’d always been able to read me like a book.
I walked back out into the living room, trying my best to act casual. I tried to avoid eye contact with Kennan as much as possible. I looked toward Ian and tried for a subject that didn’t scream, "I’m planning on running away tonight."
“So, did you convince them to go and give their bridge a look?" I asked.
“Yep, I’m completely believable in my role as a civil servant. They said they would have somebody head out and give it a look," Ian puffed his chest out like he had done something exceptionally grand.
“Good work, if I had a dog biscuit I would give it to you," I said with a smirk.
Ian just pushed me in the arm and I hurtled into Kennan who was looking down at me. I did my best to look away but Kennan pulled me into his chest, hugging me close.
“I will make sure nothing happens to you, do you understand me? I will keep you safe. No matter what," he said fiercely. It was that last statement that I couldn’t bear the thought of. I had already lost everyone else that I loved. I wasn’t going to lose Kennan. I hugged him closer, lingering in the safety of his arms as long as I could. Soon, I would be on my own.
We spent the rest of the evening normally. We ate dinner and I feigned exhaustion before heading to my room. I couldn’t look at either of them any longer or I would probably spill my guts and ruin my plan. As I made my way to my room, Kennan intercepted me as he had done every night for the past few weeks. I looked up at him, waiting for our nightly ritual of a kiss that lasted just a second too long.
“Are you okay, Izzy? You seem off tonight," Kennan asked, trying to pry my secret from me.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just really tired. Visions will do that to me," I said. I hated myself for lying to him. But better I lie than he die.
“Well, Ian and I are going to head out. We should be back by midnight. The wards are up so you should be safe here," he said before pulling me against him in another hug. He leaned back and kissed my forehead before moving to my face. This time his kiss landed just on the edge of my lips. If I’d turned my face a fraction of an inch, we would’ve finally kissed. I could have finally fulfilled my desires of the past four torturous weeks.
I looked up at him, saying goodnight. I wished he could read the goodbye written in my eyes and I prayed that he would forgive me. I knew I would see him again, I just hoped he would be happy to see me whenever it happened. I moved through my door effectively cutting myself off from the two men.
**********
TWENTY
I set about quietly preparing myself to leave that night. When I finally heard the guys leave I got up and began to ward myself. Kennan and I had spent weeks practicing different wards and I used the three most powerful ones he had taught me. I cut myself off from the visions. I cut myself off from the dreaming. I cut myself off from the Guardians. I felt lighter without all of the ties binding me, but I also felt bereft without them. I waite
d another hour before gathering my things and leaving a note. I couldn’t leave them thinking I had been taken. So I told them where I was going. I told them I was going over to Bremerton, where Mike had been stationed in the Navy. Then I would head to the Council.
I got out my map and plotted my points, afraid to use any lights this close to the cabin. I was glad that Kennan had made me hike each of the treks so many times. I felt as though I could do them blind by this point. I looked at my map one more time in the dim light of the cabin, and then stowed it as I headed out. I must have hiked for about three hours before I heard a bellow ring out in the forest.
I heard Kennan’s yell, a feral cry. It echoed through the forest, promising to bring destruction down on anything between him and his objective. I stopped moving and made myself as small as I could. I was scared to even breathe for fear of being discovered. I stayed like that, hidden inside a rotted out tree for what felt like an eternity. I finally heard Kennan begin to move away, shouting my name. I hadn’t been discovered. I got up and moved soundlessly through the trees.
I had to make it to the river soon. I moved with sluggish steps, the adrenaline from my flight suddenly worn off. I finally heard the trickle of the river in the distance, and thanked God for getting me there safely. I didn’t want to risk building a fire so I set up my mat and went to sleep almost immediately. It felt strange to be so disconnected from everything. All of my dreams were swept away and I was left with a nothingness. I was a void which begged to be filled once more. I allowed that void to cradle me until morning, finding solace in the emptiness.
I was startled from my sleep by a nearby sound. I was sure that I had been discovered, but upon further inspection I found it was only a couple of elk at the river getting a drink. I looked back toward the forest to find several more lingering in the brush. They were all eyeing me warily. Like I would do anything to the lot of them, seriously. They were huge beasts compared to me. I watched them for a long time as they drank up the river and grazed on the grass and underbrush. I was starting to get a cramp from lying in my current position, so I moved, startling them in the process. Once again, I was alone.