Coming down the stairs quickly and with fire in his eyes, the man bellowed “WHAT’S SO FUNNY????”
“You are!” David shot back at him.
Placing his fingers on his forehead as if getting a headache, the Jim Carrey man softened his voice and continued. “Look, my name is Bruce and you are in my house. I’d call the police, but you seem like good kids, so I’ll let it go this time, but you’ve got to leave!”
Andy and David looked at each other, confused. They realized this guy really thinks he’s Bruce Almighty.
“You are NOT Bruce, you’re Jim Carrey!” David insisted.
“Uggghhhhhh! You’re trying my patience!”
“Okay, look out this window over here, you’ll see this is just a movie studio, not a real house.”
They all went to the window, but when they pulled the curtains back and looked, it was a busy street with cars zooming by and kids outside playing.
“Yeah, yeah, sure looks like a movie studio out there” the man said sarcastically.
David ran for the stairs before the man could stop him. He had to see if the house seemed real or if behind the walls it was fake. The man yelled for him to get back downstairs, but to no avail. Upstairs, David found two bedrooms – both real with all the usual furnishings, and in the bathroom was a dog sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper – just like in the movie! “Where are we, the Twilight Zone?” David wondered.
Andy did the same thing downstairs, and found the kitchen and a dining room. Everything looked real, alright. Then he spotted a computer and ran for it! Oh my! Onscreen were thousands and thousands of prayer request emails! Then David ran downstairs, past the Jim-Bruce man to where Andy stood looking totally stunned.
Andy said, “This is real”. David nodded numbly.
Just then Jim-Bruce walked into the kitchen. “Okay, is your little charade finished? Yes, this is a real house. Are you guys on drugs or something?!”
“Uh, no. I mean I think we’ll be going now. Sorry for the intrusion, David stammered as they headed for the front door, hoping it would not still be locked.
“Finally!” Jim-Bruce exclaimed. “Thank you, God”! he shouted looking up.
“YOU’RE WELCOME” came a low, booming voice which sounded very much like Morgan Freeman.
The boys looked at each other frightfully and started screaming as they yanked the front door open and ran down the stoop and back out into the street!
* * * * *
Not knowing where to go or what to do, I simply began strolling down the tree-lined road breathing in the peacefulness of this cozy little town. Soon I came to a familiar-looking old house. Where’ve I seen this, I wondered.
Then I saw him. I couldn’t believe it. It was Jimmy Stewart – my favorite actor in the whole world! Before I could say anything to him, he approached me and spoke.
“Oh, hello. My name is Elwood P. Dowd. And you are??”
“B-b-but … aren’t you Jimmy Stewart”? I stuttered.
“Well, people say we look alike, though I couldn’t say, because you see … I’ve never met him”.
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you Miss …...”
“Oh, you can just call me Julie”.
“Fine, fine. And you can call me Elwood. Oh, here ..” he said reaching into his pocket. “I’d like to give you one of my cards”, handing to me a card with his name and phone number on it.
“If you call me, don’t use this number” he said pointing it out on the card ..” that’s the old one. Use this one.”
“Thank you” I replied, getting very much into the role and loving it!
“Uh, I was just heading down to Charlie’s bar. Would you like to join me?” he asked.
“Yes, I would, thank you” I answered and he led the way.
As we were seated, the server walked up to take our order.
“Now, what can I do for you, Mr. Dowd?”
At the familiar voice I looked up. It was Charlie Chaplin, dressed as a waiter! Then it came to me. Charlie’s bar! He winked at me, then returned his attention back to Elwood.
“What did you have in mind?” Elwood asked.
“What’s your order?”
Elwood said, “Oh, uh, t-two martini’s”.
“Oh, I don’t drink, but I’d love an iced tea” I interrupted.
“Oh-oh no, I meant a martini for me and one for Harvey” Elwood clarified. “So, two martini’s and an iced tea please.”
“Mmmmmm…..hmmmmm” mumbled the bartender as he left to get their drinks.
“Harvey?” I asked, knowing who he was, but wanting to hear it from Elwood.
“Harvey, yes, that’s his name. A dear friend of mine. He’ll be along soo … oh … here he is now”
Elwood rose from the table and greeted his invisible friend, pulling out a chair for him, then sat back down.
“Harvey, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Miss Julie. We just met and I invited her to have a drink with us.”
I nodded in what I supposed was Harvey’s direction and feeling silly, said “Pleased to meet you, Harvey”.
“He’s very pleased to meet you, too.”
Our drinks arrived and we spent the next hour chatting and having a marvelous time.
As I stepped outside, I expected to see the tree-lined street again, but instead I saw what looked to be an old English village – and it was winter!
Oh, my, I thought. Just then a warm coat was draped around my shoulders and I turned to see Charlie again.
“Musn’t catch cold out here” he said.
“Where am I now?” I asked him.
“Just keep your eyes open and you’ll figure it out” he promised. Then he was gone.
The town was bustling with people walking up and down the street, children looking in store windows and even horse-drawn carriages clip-clopping along. How charming, I thought. Like a Currier and Ives scene.
Suddenly the loud, reverberating sound of church bells ringing out the time filled my ears. It was 7 o’clock and the sky was dark. Lamplighters came and lit the street lamps. It was as if I were in another time. Was I? Yes, I must be.
People began making their way to their warm homes and storekeepers were closing up shop. I began walking, again wondering where this adventure would take me. A man stepped out of his office, wrapping a scarf around his neck as the chill of the winter night greeted him.
“Hello” I uttered just to be friendly.
He looked up, startled, then in a gruff voice spat his words back to me. “Who are you?! What do you want?”
Shocked at his rudeness, I took a step back. That’s when I saw the sign over his office door. “Scrooge & Marley”. I had just encountered Ebeneezer Scrooge!
* * * * *
Andy and David continued walking through the streets of the backlot, apparently blending in well as no one questioned their being there.
The further they walked down the road, the more their surroundings changed, as if they were walking into a different place and time. Old-fashioned cobblestone streets replaced the paved roads behind them. The buildings were no longer modern structures, but more like old wooden shacks. Not as if worn down and falling apart, but oddly they appeared to be the style of this town, wherever they were.
With an undying spirit of adventure, David said, “Hey, let’s look in here” as he motioned for Andy to follow him through a door to one of these strange old buildings. The door creaked eerily as David pulled it open. Stepping inside, they were taken quite by surprise when they saw two men sword-fighting! One appeared to be a pirate and they both fought masterfully, much too involved in battle to notice the two intruders walk in.
Glad to not be noticed, David and Andy crouched down behind a bale of hay as the fighting ensued. The scene was strangely familiar, but it wasn’t until their fast-footed fencing moves brought them into the one shaft of sunlight filtering into the room that the boys recognized these
two men.
“It’s Captain Jack!” shouted Andy.
“And Will Turner!” added David.
Distracted by this sudden interruption, the pirate turned his gaze for only a moment toward the boys, giving the other an advantage which he took, knocking the sword out of the pirate’s hand. Only then did Will allow himself also to give attention to the boys.
“Who goes there?” Will demanded to know.
Trying to play the part, David spoke up … “It is I – David”
Andy looked at David wondering why he was talking so weird.
“And you”, Will shouted, pointing at Andy.
“I’m Andy. I’m Andy” he answered nervously.
As Will’s attention was toward these two intruders who were dressed so oddly, Captain Jack saw an opportunity and began tip-toeing toward a back door in an effort to escape. But Will was too quick for him and threw his sword quite expertly, causing it to pierce the wooden door, just missing Captain Jack’s nose! Jack tried to pull the sword out of the door in hopes of yet winning this fight, but because it was embedded so deeply, he could not.
With both men being weapon-less, they decided to call a temporary truce in order to deal with this new situation.
Andy and David knew better than to try and tell these men that they were really Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom after trying that with Jim Carrey. Besides, it was more fun to encounter these characters than it would have been to meet the actors. An extraordinary chance to live inside the stories they loved.
“Whad’ya say we do with these young lads?” Jack asked Will, walking toward the boys like a drunken man.
“Where are you from and how do you know our names?” Will asked the boys.
Andy told Will they were from Indiana, which neither Will nor Jack had ever heard of and thought it must be some small country far away.
David said that they’d just heard of them from other people.
“You’ve heard of me, eh?” Jack said beaming with pride.
“Sure, you’re Jack Sparrow, the famous pirate of the Black Pearl” David answered.
“CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, you mean!”
David rolled his eyes. “Right, right. CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!”
“And how have you heard of me?” asked Will.
“Why, you’re Will Turner, Bootstrap Bill’s son” Andy answered. “Everyone knows that”.
“Alright, alright. Now that we all know each other, what now?” Jack uttered impatiently. “Whad’ya say we lock ‘em up?” He was worried about the boys turning him in or giving away his location.
Will replied, “Whad’ya say we lock YOU up, instead?”
But Captain Jack was quick on his feet and bolted out the door. He had escaped! Will told the boys to run along and then took off after Jack.
But the boys followed Will out the door and watched the chase. From where they stood, Jack could be seen jumping off a dock into the sea and swimming toward a ship about a hundred feet offshore. When Will reached the dock, instead of jumping in and swimming after Jack, he stepped into a boat tied to the dock and began rowing toward the ship. He was determined to capture Jack and have him put in prison and later hanged, which was the fate of every pirate once he was caught.
Andy and David got to the dock and remembering this was really a movie set, they realized there was a plank or walkway just beneath the water. Probably what was used in Bruce Almighty in the scene where he walked on water. So, out onto the water they stepped and then ran after the two men, passing them both!
When Jack and Will saw the boys running on top of the water, they screamed in terror and thought they must be gods or something. Andy and David climbed aboard the ship and then helped the men up to the ship also. Although still weak in the knees at what they’d just seen the boys do, Jack nevertheless, stepped up to the helm and so took charge of the ship.
Indignantly, Will shouted at him, “You cannot steal this ship!”
Jack corrected him, “Commandeering, mate, not stealing”.
The boys were just enjoying the ride as well as the funny antics of these two feuding characters. It was like watching a movie. No, better than that. As they sailed across the sea, they encountered another ship. As they neared each other, who should they see standing proudly aboard the other boat, but none other than Captain Barbossa. Upon looking more closely, they could see he was holding captive Elizabeth Swan, Will’s sweetheart.
Furious that his beloved Elizabeth should be in such a dire predicament, Will jumped off the ship and swam toward the other boat. He would either fight Barbossa to free her or would gallantly offer himself as a prisoner in exchange for her freedom. Once Will was pulled aboard the enemy ship, Barbossa gave the command to set sail. They had what they wanted.
So, this left the boys with just Jack on the high seas. But wait … where WAS Jack? He was no longer steering the boat.
“There he is!” shouted Andy pointing to the water.
Jack had jumped ship, found the rowboat Will had used and was rowing steadily toward a nearby island.
“Probably looking for his buried rum” Andy said.
“Yeah, probably” agreed David.
Oh well, on to the next adventure, they decided, as they too left the boat and found that underwater walkway again and headed back to shore. As they walked, they could hear Jack in the distance yelling.
“WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RUM?!”
* * * * *
“Well, be on your way, then!” barked the old man when I stood in stunned silence.
“M-M-Mr. Scrooge?” I stammered.
“What do you want? Can’t you see I’m closed? Leave me be so I can get to my home!” And away he walked down the cobblestone street disappearing from sight through the blowing cold. I shivered and pulled my coat around me more tightly and headed in the direction Scrooge had walked, trying to catch up to him. It was dark and the biting cold would be the death of me if I didn’t get inside and warm soon.
What else could I do, but follow Scrooge? Yet what could I expect if I found him? That he would invite me into his home? Fix me a cup of hot cocoa or a steaming bowl of soup to warm myself? Yeah right! Oh, why couldn’t it have been Bob Cratchit I’d bumped into instead? He would have been kind and helpful. But this? I was doomed!
Still I had to admit it was intriguing to meet this famous stingy old man. Maybe it was because I knew he would be a changed man by morning that made this bearable. In any case, he appeared to be my only hope.
So, I followed him. Down the cobblestone, lamplit streets toward his home. He knew I was not far behind him and from time to time looked over his shoulder a bit and grunted his annoyance at me. When he finally stopped at his door, I stopped, too, hoping to see Marley’s face appear on the door-knocker!
Turning around, he growled at me: “Well, go on! Be gone with you”!
Without budging, I said, “Better turn around or you’ll miss it”.
“Miss what?!” he growled again, his irritation growing.
“Marley” I answered, as if it should have been obvious.
“Marley ? …. What do you mean … Marley?”
Just then we both heard it. A ghostly, raspy voice calling out Scrooge’s name. Turning around, Scrooge saw Marley’s pale and transparent face appear before him in the door knocker. Startled, he gasped and stepped back. The face faded away. Turning sharply toward me he asked how I knew that would happen, to which I answered that I just had a feeling.
Scrooge shook off what had happened, deciding he must just be tired and imagined it, putting out of his mind that he wasn’t the only one who’d seen it. Turning the key in his door and opening it, I spoke up before he shut the door.
“Mr. Scrooge, sir … I hate to ask, but would it be possible … er …. I mean, would you mind, terribly, if I came in to get warm? I’m awfully cold and have nowhere to go”.
“Why should I want to do that?” he sarcastically asked.
<
br /> “Well, because it’s Christmas Eve .. and … as mean as you act sometimes … I know that deep in your heart … um ….. you’re really a nice guy”.
“Bah! Humbug!”
“And …. well… because you haven’t seen the last of Marley tonight and what’s more, you’re going to be visited by three spirits tonight”.
Scrooge looked at me like I was looney!
“Hey, I was right about Marley appearing, wasn’t I?”
He couldn’t deny that, but pretended he didn’t know what I was talking about.
“Tell you what”, I continued, “Just let me come in for a few minutes to get warm and if Marley’s ghost doesn’t show up, then that proves I was wrong or nuts and I’ll leave. But … if he does come, you might not want to be alone. Just think about it.”
“Well, get inside, then” he yelled. “I can’t stand here all night with the door wide open letting all the cold air inside.” And that is how it happened, that I entered the home of Ebeneezer Scrooge.