Onscreen we saw who the man on the “wing” was.
“Charlie!” I shouted with glee. Charlie had come to my rescue!
“Go to Scotty and ask him to beam you down” was his message to me. Uhura pointed me in the direction of Mr. Scott’s control station. Thanking her I said goobye to the Enterprise crew and ran to find Scotty.
“What kin ah dyoo fer ye, missy?” Scotty asked.
I couldn’t wait to say this. “Beam me down, Scotty!”
He showed me where to stand and soon I was disappearing from Scotty’s view and he from mine. In a moment I was on the lawn below the ship that was still hovering. Seeing Charlie only a few feet away, I ran to him.
“Charlie! Oh I’m so glad you came! I didn’t know what I was going to do!” My words spilled out.
“Don’t you remember what I told you? That all you had to do was call my name, and I’d come?”
I HAD forgotten that. “But you came anyway”.
“Yes, of course. I saw you were in trouble, and well thought it would be fun to psych out Captain Kirk, too! So – how are you enjoying your little adventure so far?” he asked.
“So far??! You mean there’s still more?”
“Why yes, of course!” he answered. But I wasn’t sure I was up to it.
“Just a bit longer. Come along” he said, offering me his arm and together we walked down the road.
* * * * *
As Andy and David reached the shore, they decided they were tired and hungry. Coming into view was the infamous Bates Motel.
“Hey, why don’t we get a room here and rest for awhile” David chuckled.
“Yeah, right. They’re not real rooms, you know, just a set.” Andy wisely answered.
“Well, everything else that’s supposed to have been a set turned out to be real, so let’s check it out” David replied and they headed first to the office, finding it unexpectedly unlocked.
Stepping inside, they walked up to the counter and rang the bell – just in case this turned out to be real. What if it IS real, David pondered. That couldn’t be a good thing!
Out the window to their left, they saw a man descending the steps from the old, creepy-looking Bates house. Oh, it couldn’t be, hoped Andy!
As he neared the motel, they could clearly see, it was him – Norman Bates! Suddenly that Psycho music played in the background, startling them.
In walked scary Norman. “Can I help you?” he asked sounding very much like just the “boy next door”. Well, actually, he WAS the boy next door!
“Uh, we’d like a room” Andy stuttered.
“Mmmm-hmmmm,” he responded, turning the reservation book around for them to sign. Then he walked over to the wall and started to grab the key to Room 12 off the hook, but then seemed to change his mind, taking the key to Room 1 instead. Andy and David looked at each other, a little bit of fear showing in their faces, knowing that was the room where the murders took place!
“Could we have Room 12?” David blurted out quickly. “I mean because we, uh, kind of like being on the very end.”
Norman answered, “Well, to be honest, Room 1 is the only room that’s made up right now. We don’t get much business here, so it seems a waste to keep all 12 rooms fresh and ready for customers. Sorry about that. Say, are you guys hungry?”
Even though they were famished, Andy answered, “No, we’re fine, thanks”.
“No really, it’s no trouble. I just made some sandwiches – I always make extra, just in case – and wouldn’t mind the company. Gets pretty lonesome out this way. Why don’t you come up to the house?” he invited.
They WERE actually pretty hungry and DID want to see the inside of the house, so they agreed. Norman seemed genuinely pleased, handed them their room key and said after they settled in, to just come up to the house.
The boys stepped into that ominous Room 1, stepping past that bucket and mop leaning against the wall, and sat down on the bed to rest a minute. Neither wanted to look in the bathroom.
“Crap, no TV!” David uttered.
“Don’t you mean, Crap, we have to eat dinner with Norman Bates?!” Andy countered.
“Yeah, that too. But you know, I think it was mostly women he killed, so we’re probably safe.”
“I guess” said Andy.
Up the creepy steps to the creepy house they slowly walked, keeping their eyes on that upstairs window, just in case they should see someone looking out, like maybe Norman’s dead mother!! Norman was waiting at the door for them. “Come on in” he said.
He led them to the kitchen where plates of sandwiches were waiting for them and glasses of milk. He told them he’d already eaten his as he rinsed a huge knife off at the sink.
Just then they heard a voice coming from upstairs. “Norman” it called, a raspy and old-sounding woman’s voice.
“Coming, Mother” Norman answered like a dutiful son. “Excuse me for a few minutes” he said to the boys as he ran for the stairs.
“Let’s get out of here!” Andy said. “While we have the chance!”
David was about to comply, but then stopped. “No, let’s not”.
Andy looked at him in utter disbelief. “What?!”
“Let’s follow him and see what happens next” David suggested.
Andy shook his head. David and his curiosity!
To the stairway they tiptoed, then slowly ascended each step, hoping Norman wouldn’t know they were coming. When they reached the top of the stairs, they could hear Norman’s voice coming from a nearby room.
“Don’t you hurt those boys, Mother” he said. “They’re the only company I’ve had in years.”
“Get rid of them!” came the old raspy voice. “They don’t belong here!”
“Mother, no!” shouted Norman.
Andy and David stood still, frozen in fear when out from the room emerged Norman wearing a dress and wig. He held his knife up high and started toward them. They stepped backward, forgetting the stairs were there and would have started to fall, but instead they strangely floated down to the bottom, like bad special effects! Norman came running down the stairs after them, so they took off out the door, down the creepy steps yelling all the way!
Reaching the motel parking lot, they stopped a second to catch their breath. As they did, they saw Norman rush past them and toward the backlot tour tram screaming a weird scream and swinging and axe.
“It’s Jim Carrey” yelled David.
It WAS, Andy noticed.
It was that story their tour guide told them the day before about how when Jim Carrey was filming the Grinch movie (right behind the Psycho set), just for fun, he dressed up like Norman Bates’ mother and tried to scare the tourists! Either he was doing it again or they were seeing the past. After the people were sufficiently frightened and then laughed when they realized who they were dealing with, Jim Carrey waved at the crowd, took a bow as they cheered and applauded, then headed back toward the Bates house.
When Jim spotted Andy and David sitting outside the Bates Motel, he got into character again and came running at them to scare them.
“You’re Jim Carrey!” David shouted, having déjà vu.
“I’m not Jim Carrey! I’m Mrs. Bates” he answered in that raspy old woman’s voice.
“No you’re not” Andy argued.
“Yes I am and I’m going to kill you!” he said rushing at them with his axe.
“Look!” David shouted pointing toward the old house.
Jim looked and standing in the upstairs window was Norman Bates, giving an evil eye to his “mother”. He opened the window and yelled down “Mother, you get in here right now or I’m going to lock you out forever”!
“No!” shouted Jim who apparently was actually becoming Norman’s mother. “Norman! Norman!” he or she shouted running up the creepy steps into the creepy house slamming the door behind him/her.
Still in the window, Norman looked down at Andy and D
avid, smiled and gave them a thumbs up. They made their escape them, running – not walking – until they were clear of this movie set.
“What a trip!” said David.
* * * * *
Charlie led me to an old house. We seemed to be back on the street where I’d met Elwood P. Dowd – or one like it.
“And here is where I’ll leave you for now” Charlie said.
“Wait, don’t leave me again. I don’t even know where I am.”
“As always … you will see.” Charlie answered in a sing-song voice. “But I’ll give you a clue. Whose star did you fall through that brought you to this mysterious world?”
“Cary Grant’s” I answered and suddenly felt excited at thought he might just be the one on the other side of this door.
“That’s right” Charlie said with a smile. “Too-da-loo”. And then Charlie disappeared again.
I turned and rang the doorbell on the old wonderful house before me. The door opened and I was greeted by a smiling older lady.
“Helloooooo” she exclaimed. “We’ve been expecting you!” And I was ushered inside.
“Welcome to the Brewster Rooming House. My name is Abby and this is my sister, Martha. Were you looking to rent one of our rooms, dear?”
“Uh, yes … I mean .. I think so” I stammered.
“Wonderful! Please come in and make yourself at home. We’ll have dinner shortly,. if you’ll excuse us while we finish preparing it.”
“Of course” I answered. They left the room and I walked around recognizing the house. This was from Arsenic and Old Lace. Abby and Martha were the crazy ladies who poisoned their supposedly lonely gentlemen guests. Well, at least that leaves me safe, not being a lonely gentleman! I decided to sit down and wait for the ladies to return. As I started to sit down on the window seat, I heard a voice yelling “DON’T SIT THERE!”
Startled, I jumped back up and looked toward the voice. It was Cary Grant, of course!!! Or should I say … Mortimer Brewster? He looked half-crazed with his eyes practically popping out of their sockets!
“What’s the matter with you, sitting there?!” he yelled at me.
“Oh, it’s okay” I answered calmly. “I already know about the dead body in there”.
“What are you talking about?” he tried to pretend he hadn’t a clue what I meant. Laughing nervously he added, “A dead body! How ridiculous!”
“Oh yes … I know about it … and the other 12 in the basement .. er, I mean Panama!”
With madness in his eyes, he came at me and grabbed me by the shoulders saying “You listen here! You breathe a word about this to anyone and …. and… well, you just better not!”
“Okay, okay!” I answered.
Abby and Martha came into the room bearing plates of roast beef and potatoes that smelled so wonderful. “Come and eat, everybody, it’s ready”.
Mortimer gave me a warning glance as we both walked over to the dining table. Teddy came up from the locks (basement) and joined us. We all enjoyed a wonderful meal. It would have been perfect if only Cary Grant could have been his own debonair self instead of a crazed nephew in a murderous house!
“Mr. President, “ I asked Teddy, “I hear you like to hunt for bears.
Teddy very proudly answered, “Why yes indeed! How did you know?”
“Well, I heard about it while visiting the Hotel Colorado in Glenwood Springs. They said that hotel was your summer White House and that you liked to hunt bear while staying there.”
“Ah, yes. Very true. Lovely hotel. I always enjoy my stay there” he answered.
“I also heard that the Teddy Bear was named after you there” I added.
“Yes, yes. I was out hunting bear one day and was disappointed to have not had any luck. The hotel maids felt sorry for me and sewed together a toy bear for me out of pieces of material and stuffed it with old rags, giving it to me in hopes of cheering me up. The story was told and retold about Teddy’s bear and it just got shortened to Teddy Bear. The idea caught on and teddy bears became a dear bedtime comfort for children.”
It was so cool hearing the story from his own lips. Well, of course this wasn’t really Teddy, but he could have fooled me.
Mortimer seemed exasperated that I had so easily befriended Teddy and didn’t trust me AT all!
“Well that was a perfect meal, ladies, as always. And now I must retire to the oval office for the night.” Teddy announced as he pushed his chair out from the table.
“Goodnight, Teddy” Abby said.
“Yes, goodnight” joined in Martha.
“Mortimer, my boy …” Teddy began.
“Yes, goodnight” Mortimer finished for him.
Over to the stairs he went, where unsheathed his sword and ran up the stairs shouting “CHARGE!!!”, slamming his “oval room” office door shut behind him.
Mortimer spoke up. “Aunt Abby, why don’t you offer our guest a glass of wine.”
I looked at Mortimer with a ticked off look on my face. He smiled smugly at me.
“Oh, I don’t drink, thanks just the same” I quickly added.
“Nonsense!” said Martha. “Ours is a special recipe.”
I’ll say, I thought to myself.
“Yes, you really must try it” coaxed Mortimer.
I tried to protest, but he interrupted again, “Come on, now, you don’t want to hurt Aunt Abby’s or Aunt Martha’s feelings, do you? They put such effort and love into making it”.
I decided I had nothing to lose. This wasn’t all real and besides, it’s not the ladies who get poisoned, only the men.
“What the heck. I’ll give a try” I answered cheerfully, to Mortimer’s complete surprise.
They eagerly poured me a glass, then sat down and waited for me to drink it. Obviously, I was the only one having any.
“Well, bottoms up!” I said and downed the wine. Suddenly the room started getting blurry and everyone’s voices were in slow motion! Then everything went black.
* * * * *
The boys were a little tired of these all too real experiences and felt like doing something more normal. So they headed out of the backlot and back to the theme park section.
“Lets do one of the rides” David suggested.
“Which one?” asked Andy.
“I don’t know. Let’s just walk around until we find something that looks fun”, David answered.
“Okay” said Andy. And on they walked until they came upon an attraction they’d not seen before.
“No way!” hollered David. “Since when do they have a LOST ride?”
It was a full-sized jet liner you could board, probably a virtual reality ride, they figured, that would simulate the crash on LOST. Excitedly they climbed aboard and found some seats. Looking around at the other passengers, they were shocked. There was Jack! Over there was Sawyer! And Charlie! And Hurley! And Locke! And Kate! And all the others. They were all here! This, as everything else, was too real!
They strapped in and the simulated take-off began! It really felt as though they were in flight. Even the images out their windows seemed real and as if they were flying over an ocean. Locke was seated in front of the boys, turned around, looking at them over the top of his seat and said, “Hope you like monsters”, then turned back around.
“K, that was weird” David said.
A few seconds later, it felt like the plane lurched, as if they heading into some real turbulence. Then an explosion and the plane broke in two. They were falling. Everyone was screaming! Then ….BOOM! And every thing went dark.
Waking up from unconsciousness, Andy and David wondered what the heck just happened. No way could a simulator do all that! Others were starting to come around and moans of pain could be heard throughout the half-plane. One by one people climbed over whatever they had to of the mangled mess to get out of the plane. As they did, they found they were on a beach. Yep, it was the island of LOST! Andy and D
avid were all excited, while others were scared, sore, tired and confused.
“This is gonna be so cool!” Andy shouted. Sawyer looked at him like he must be nuts!
Jack started taking charge shouting out orders to the others for what needed to be done.
The boys ignored him and ran into the jungle, knowing where that first hatch was. They found it, got it open and climbed down. Opening the door, they entered the hatch. Only it didn’t look like it did on the show. It was like a producer’s control room. Even J.J. Abrams was there sitting in front of one of the monitors. He told them to get out, that they were not allowed in there.
“Whatever”, Andy responded. “We know where the other hatch is, too”. And away they went. But as they ran through the woods, they heard the sound of the monster and saw that trail of smoke. Locke appeared out of nowhere and said, “Told ya so”, then disappeared again.