As soon as the girl broke their connection, Sara realized she needed to breathe again. She sucked in air, and she excused herself from Amber and Ben and rushed out of the cafeteria. She needed a fresh breath of air. Sara was full of confusion and excitement. She looked at her hand and saw it shaking. Don’t panic, she thought to herself. It was just a look, after all, and he didn’t even smile. But the way he had penetrated her with his eyes left her no doubt that he had been looking at her and only her. But why? Could it be that he liked her?
No, there is no way Joshua Johnson likes me, she thought, and took a deep breath to calm herself down. He can choose any girl at school; why would he choose a bookworm like me? I don’t want to be yet another one of the giggling fangirls who swarm around him all the time. Damn it, why does he have to be so attractive? her inner voice was complaining.
* * * * *
Joshua used all his willpower to be nice to the giggling girls. He was used to it, and normally it was fun to have groups of fans approaching him in school, but right now he wanted them gone.
He and Sara had just had a moment. He had been looking at her for weeks, as discreetly as possible, and today she’d finally looked back. He had felt her surprise when she caught him looking at her, and it had made his heart beat faster to see her eyes freeze as she connected to him. For those five seconds their eyes had been locked together, he had owned her. He’d had every piece of her attention, and he could see that he affected her, as much as she affected him. Damn those girls for interrupting. Or maybe he should bless them and see it as a gift. He knew who Sara was; it hadn’t taking him long to find out that she was a brilliant A+ student who was doing every honors class possible and who had attended the gifted program in elementary and middle school. Joshua’s good friend Elizabeth had a younger sister who was in Sara’s English class. Her name was Victoria, and people often referred to the two sisters as the Queenies, because they had royal names and were from Europe. Joshua thought their names were fully justified; both girls had a rare grace and style about them. The Queenies had been born in Sweden, and their typical Scandinavian blonde hair and pale eyes made them beautiful in a fresh, natural way. His friend Kevin had asked for a tutor at lunch one day.
“I really need someone to help me, man. I got an F on my last essay, and my parents are going to kill me.”
Elizabeth had suggested her sister Victoria.
“What are you talking about? She’s a freshman. How is she supposed to teach me anything when I’m a junior?” Kevin had said, offended.
Like Joshua, Kevin played bass in TUA and was more focused on music, girls, and sports than school. Kevin was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, and though he could sometimes be immature and thoughtless, he was fun to be around.
“You have no idea,” Elizabeth answered and looked straight at Kevin. “She is super smart. Think about it. She is in the top five percent of the students. I have seen my sister’s homework, and it makes me want to cry, and I am not stupid. You know that.”
“Wow, are you serious?” Kevin’s eyes widened.
“I am serious, and according to my sister, there is this wicked brilliant girl in her class. Apparently her mind works like a computer – she can recite anything she has ever read.”
“I’ve heard about that. Photographic memory, right?” Kevin looked at Elizabeth. “Hey, maybe she could be my tutor. Teach me to have a memory like hers. That would be amazing.” Kevin’s eyes lit up as if he had just come up with a master plan.
“She can’t teach you to have a photographic memory. It doesn’t work like that.” Joshua laughed at Kevin, who looked disappointed that his master plan had fallen apart. “Besides, brilliant people like that are often so nerdy that they can hardly function among other people. They are total basket cases in their social lives. That’s the curse of being a genius,” Joshua claimed nonchalantly.
Elizabeth looked at Joshua with indignation. “That is not true! My sister has a ton of friends, and I’ve met Sara. She seemed super nice to me.”
“Who is Sara?” Kevin asked confused.
“The brilliant girl,” Elizabeth replied and pointed to Sara, who was eating lunch with Benjamin and Amber. “See, she even has a boyfriend, so you have to reconsider your prejudices against smart people, Josh.”
Kevin and Joshua looked at Sara and Benjamin. “No way! Look, Josh, that’s the hot girl we were talking about, remember?” Kevin clapped Joshua on the shoulder with a smirk. “I am definitely going to ask her to tutor me, and maybe I can teach her a few tricks, too.”
“How do you know that’s her boyfriend?” Joshua regretted having asked, but Elizabeth answered anyway.
“Because they have been together for years. They always hang together.”
Over the following weeks, Joshua had observed Sara from a distance; he was puzzled by her relationship with her boyfriend, because from a distance they seemed more like brother and sister or best friends. He had never seen them kiss or hug. And he had certainly never seen her look at her boyfriend the way she had just looked at him.
As soon as the giggling girls were gone, Joshua looked back in Sara’s direction, but she was gone. Her boyfriend was still at the table, talking to that new girl. They seemed to enjoy themselves, but Sara wasn’t there. Joshua had a strong urge to find out where she had gone, but he closed his eyes and tried to stay cool. She is none of my business. She is someone else’s girlfriend, and she is way too smart to be mine anyway. Why would she want a guitar guy like me when she can have any rocket scientist she wants? Or even be one herself?
* * * * *
It was hard for Sara to stay focused in class after lunch; her mind kept going back to Joshua’s intense green eyes. She had felt like he was standing right in front of her, as if no one else was in the room except for the two of them. It was a moment of complete connection, and she played it over and over again. Every time, she felt a warm sensation in her body.
“Would you care to answer that, Sara?” The teacher interrupted her thoughts and brought her back to reality. “I apologize – could you please repeat the question?” She looked confused and the teacher raised his eyebrows critically. “We are talking about the amendments of the American constitution. Would you care to start with the first one?”
Sara tried to direct her focus, but for the first time, she couldn’t, and she heard mumbling in the class. This was a new experience for her, the other students, and the teacher. Laura felt the joy wash over her: perfect Miss Know-It-All Sara couldn’t answer a basic question like that! Laura raised her hand with glowing eyes.
Meanwhile, Sara was trying to focus. The First Amendment, come on, Sara, come on… She was trying really hard to think.
“Freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and freedom of press, she finally said.
“That’s true. Please explain the concept of free speech.” Mr. White was a strict man, but Sara liked him. He was knowledgeable and had traveled the world. Once, he had told her about his trip to India: it had been fifteen years since he had visited, but Sara was fascinated by his experience there. She had heard rumors that he was unfair with his grades, but so far, she had received only A’s, and she found him fair in his feedback on her homework.
While Sara answered the question, Laura put her hand down with grim disappointment on her face. “We all have the right to say what we want to.”
“Thank you, Sara. Class, can you think of any situations in which freedom of speech doesn’t apply? Yes, you, Connor.”
“You are not allowed to run into a theater and yell ‘fire.’”
“That’s true, and why is that?”
“Because you could put people in danger of being trampled to death.”
“Correct. Yes, Celine?”
“There are rules for what people can say to each other. Like for instance…” Celine seemed to be thinking hard. “Well, like in school where you can get in trouble for bullying.”
The teacher smiled at Celine. “You are talking about rules,
and that’s different from the law; you see, school bullies don’t go to jail for being rude, he pointed out.
“But they could get in trouble with the teacher or principal,” Celine interjected defensively.
“That’s true, Celine, but only while you are in school, and in my experience getting bullies in trouble with us teachers only makes them angrier with the victim.”
Laura knew exactly how this worked. She had often gotten the wrong end of revenge from her brother – when she had told on him and had their parents discipline him. It never did anything but make him hate her even more.
Celine looked confused. “But the rules will protect the victim.”
The teacher frowned. “To some extent.” He sighed. “As I said, they are rules, not laws meaning they can’t protect the victim outside of school hours.”
Sara had found her focus again. Laura was listening – this might be a good time to communicate to Laura that she was a bully.
“Yes, Sara.”
“What do you do when people are mean to you?” Sara felt the other kids looking at her, and she was a little surprised at herself for having asked such a personal question. The teacher took a moment before answering, maybe considering if he had time for this sidetrack.
“You know, that is a good question. I guess I think of the First Amendment and remember that people have the right to say whatever they want to. My right, however, is to accept or dismiss it.” The teacher looked around and continued. “Personally, I meet people who are verbally abusive with calmness and kindness. I respect their right to have an opinion and express it. The beauty is that I have the same right. We don’t have to agree.”
Sara took in his words and wondered if she could do the same thing.
“Well, enough about me…” He changed tone. “What other exceptions to freedom of speech can you mention?”
Sara went home that day confused and exhausted. Everything had changed inside her.
The buzzing sensation that had completely consumed her and made her unable to breathe while looking into Joshua’s eyes was unlike anything she had ever experienced with Benjamin, and an unwelcome thought telling her that she might be missing out on a lot in her relationship with Ben was very persistent and took strong focus to dismiss. She pushed the thoughts of Joshua away and remembered Mr. White’s words about meeting everyone with kindness. She felt overwhelmed and took a shower and tried to relax and do her homework.
Her mind, however, kept going back to Joshua. She found herself daydreaming about touching him and kissing him. She remembered the pact she and Ben had made only months before on the park bench. Thinking back, that seemed like a different life, a different Sara, even. She couldn’t break her promise to Ben, and why would she even think about it? There was no way Joshua was actually interested in her, anyway. Ben was the perfect boyfriend for her, end of story.
CHAPTER 8
Unwanted love
Amber was going through a hard time. Her parents’ divorce had been a snowball that triggered an avalanche of unwanted events in her life. Her three best friends in Michigan had been upset that she was leaving, and she felt as if they blamed her even though she didn’t have a choice in the matter. After the move, she had called them and written to them on Facebook, but they only responded once in a while and never seemed to initiate contact. It was hard to understand how good friends like that could lose interest and forget about her so fast.
Her mom had explained that probably they were just trying to move on and that they were all sad to have lost Amber, but it made no sense. Amber wasn’t gone. She could still Skype and gossip. Her friends at home all had each other, and it seemed to Amber that this was one of those out of sight, out of mind situations. It broke her heart to conclude that she didn’t mean more to them.
Amber tried to call her dad every day. She worried about him. He was angry and bitter and would say awful things about her mother. Amber tried to listen without taking sides, but sometimes her dad sounded like he was just about to cry and other times he sounded drunk. She knew he missed her a lot, and that he was lonely in the house by himself. She felt sorry for him and wanted to help, but there wasn’t a lot she could do.
Her mom was working long hours. Because of her job as a legal secretary in downtown Seattle, she had a long commute from the east side, and often she wouldn’t come home until late in the evening. Amber knew her mom was unhappy about the situation and wanted to be there for Amber. But her mom’s attempts to make it up to Amber came out all wrong. Amber didn’t mind being alone, but she missed her friends and felt lonely. She had no one to talk to about her family situation. School was hard and competitive. Basically everywhere Amber looked in her life, it seemed pretty dark.
The only bright spot was her friendship with Sara and Benjamin. Amber was grateful that Sara had been so welcoming to her on her first day of school, and she enjoyed eating lunch with Sara and Ben. He was unbelievably funny and cute and had the most amazing energy, making lunch the favorite part of Amber’s day. Somehow he always managed to lift her mood and leave her feeling elevated and happy. Sara joked that Ben was a “happy pill,” and Amber would agree; he really was, but he was more than that. He was ecstasy[as in the drug?] to her. Everything about him was special – his laugh, his humor, his interest in politics and his crazy ability to remember quotes and jokes appropriate to any situation. If Amber could have ever designed a perfect boyfriend, it would have been Benjamin. Except he wouldn’t have been someone else’s boyfriend of more than four years, especially not her new best friend’s boyfriend, making him completely untouchable.
“So how did you two become a couple, anyway?” Amber asked them one day.
“Well.” Sara broke into a big smile. “In fourth grade Ben sent me a letter with a heart on it and asked me to be his girlfriend.”
Ben interrupted, grinning. “Honestly, I think she said yes because of the drawing of a race car I made in the corner.”
Sara rolled her eyes, laughing. “Sure, that was the reason. And I really liked how funny he was and that he had nice hair, so I said yes.”
“Don’t forget I was older than you; that was important, too, remember?” Benjamin put on a serious tone.
“Oh yeah, that’s right! Benjamin had turned six the day after we started kindergarten, so his role as the oldest kid in the class was kind of cemented from the beginning. I thought that made him extra cool.”
“Sounds like an epic love story, you two.” Amber smiled.
“So, did you know that Sara’s fifteenth birthday is coming up in two days?” Benjamin asked Amber.
“Really? What do want for your birthday?” Amber looked at Sara.
“Let me see… world peace and a piano. You can handle that, right?” Sara smiled.
“Probably can’t get you either of those, but how about a cake? Would that work?” Amber smiled back.
“That would be so perfect. Thank you.” Sara and Amber both laughed.
Sara wasn’t much of a birthday person, and she really didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.
Her mom insisted on celebrating, so they compromised on a sleepover party with a few close girlfriends. Amber was happy to have been invited. She showed up at the pajama party excited and happy. “Here, open my present,” she said with a happy voice.
Sara took the envelope from Amber and opened it. “What is this?”
“A gift certificate for a piano lesson.” Amber had a big grin on her face.
“What? Why?” Sara asked, surprised.
“Because you said you wanted a piano, which is a bit out of my financial league, so I got you the next best thing… a piano lesson.” Amber looked proud and excited. ”My mom set it up with one of her colleagues.”
“Wow! That’s very sweet of you.” Sara looked at the card. The idea of spending an hour with a stranger by making a fool of herself while trying to play the piano wasn’t very appealing to Sara, but she could see the thoughtfulness that Amber had put into the gift. S
he gave her the biggest smile and hug she could find within herself.
“Anyone want to play truth or dare?” Sara asked, and soon the five girls were giggling.
“Truth or dare, Amber!” Sara said.
“Dare.”
“Okay. Show us your most sexy dance.”
“Oh no…” Amber was blushing as Sara put on music and clapped to cheer Amber on. The other girls helped, and soon they were all dancing around with Amber, doing the sexiest dancing they could, giggling and blushing.
“Truth or dare, Sara.” Amber said.
“Truth.”
“Okay,” Amber almost whispered, “Have you ever slept with Benjamin?” Amber’s eyes were glowing as she asked, and she almost held her breath waiting for the answer.
Sara flushed and all the girls giggled “No! I am a virgin, and so is he.” Amber felt relieved. She shot a big smile at Sara.
CHAPTER 9
The piano lesson
On Thursday afternoon, Sara got ready to go to her piano lesson. She wasn’t happy about it and wished Amber would have just given her a cake instead. It turned out the address was only a ten-minute walk from Sara’s home, so she walked over and rang the doorbell. It was a big, impressive house in a fine neighborhood, and she could hear a small dog barking on the other side of the door. She waited a few minutes. No one answered. Well, I tried, Sara thought, relieved, and started to walk away when she heard the door open behind her.
“Can I help you?” a woman asked politely.
Sara turned around and looked at a plump woman with a small dog on her arm.
“I’m here for a piano lesson,” Sara said softly.