Everything about him, from his eccentric taste in clothes, to the way he entertains his friend, to the confidence in his walk screams Notice Me! And fuck, do I notice him, so much that I go all stalker and snap at least twenty pictures of him. I only put the camera down when he and the girl he’s with disappear inside the main building.
Putting the camera back into my bag, I hurry off to English class. As I sit down in a desk toward the back of the room, I try not to think about what my mother said this morning, but I find myself assessing each person as they enter.
It’s not until the object of my stalking walks through the doorway that I consider maybe my crazy mother was right. I quickly realize how insane that would make me for believing her and force myself to stop thinking like my mother. I’ve always been more levelheaded than both my parents, and I want to hold onto the trait.
Tearing my attention away from him, I lean over to grab my textbook and a pen out of my bag. When I sit up, I’m surprised to find he’s taken the desk right next to mine.
Up close, he’s even better looking, but there’s a hint of nervousness in his eyes that I didn’t notice while looking through the lens, which is kind of strange. Usually, I see more when I’m taking pictures. Or maybe he was just happier when he was around his friend.
“Hey,” he greets me with a slightly nervous smile.
“Hey.” I rack my brain for something to say that won’t make me sound awkward, but he beats me to the punch.
“I’m Seth,” he says, extending his hand to me.
“Greyson.” I take his hand, noting it shakes a little in mine. “Is this your first class?”
“For the fall semester, yeah.”
“You’re not a freshman?”
“No, I am,” he replies. “I just started the year this summer.”
I smile, and decide to flirt a little, see where it goes. “So you should be a pro at classes by now.”
“You would think so,” he muses. “But I’m not a fan of school and being a fantastic student is at the bottom of my list, right between getting a good night’s rest and becoming friends with my slobbish roommate.”
“You live in the dorm?” I ask and he nods. “I actually thought about doing that, but my parents insisted I need a place of my own. That it’s good for my aura.”
His brow cocks. “Aura?”
“Yeah, they’re a little crazy like that, but in a good way.” I try to pick up on the vibe he’s giving. Is he just being friendly? Or is he interested in me?
I watch as his eyes trail down over my neck and chest, suddenly realizing that we’re still holding hands. Definitely a bit awkward, but in a good way. And that means he’s interested, right?
When his gaze reaches our joined hands, he startles and quickly pulls away. I catch a flash of alarm in his eyes as he scans the room before looking back at me.
He clears his throat. “So, you just moved here?”
I wonder why he’s acting so weird suddenly. Maybe I misread his interest. Doubtful, though, so what is it? “Yeah, from Florida.”
His eyes snap wide. “Holy shit. How the hell did you end up going from the sunshine state to cowboy central?”
“Is Wyoming cowboy central? I thought that was Texas?”
“Clearly, you haven’t been around when the fair rolls in. It’s like rodeo central. Nothing but cowboy hats, boots, and ridiculously tight pants as far as the eye can see.”
“Sounds… interesting, I guess.”
“Try horrifying. Some of the stuff I’ve seen through those tight jeans,” he shudders, “still haunts my nightmares.”
I laugh at him and he grins, obviously pleased with himself. Like how he was with the girl earlier, he seems to enjoy making people laugh.
I consider what my mom said about finding friends and going out on dates. He’s hot, nice, and funny. As long as I can keep the conversation going and find the right moment, I might ask him out. Get myself out of the damn rut I’ve been in.
“So, I was thinking…” I trail off as a larger guy wearing a jersey sits down in the desk in front of me and Seth swiftly turns away from the conversation.
He focuses on getting a pen and a book from his bag, then spends the next two minutes staring at his arm with his back angled towards me.
I spend the rest of class taking notes and mentally replaying my conversation with Seth, wondering what I said that scared him off. When class ends, he hurries out the door so quickly you’d think the room was on fire.
I try my best to stop stressing about what went wrong with Seth and focus on school and meeting new people. I have one of two photography classes today and end up chatting with Jenna and Ari, a quirky couple who share my same passion for photos. Jenna kind of reminds me of my mom in the sense that she seems to teeter between reality and dreamland.
“Oh, my God,” she says as the three of us walk out of class together. “You know what this means right?”
I exchange a look with Ari, who shrugs.
“We don’t know what on earth your excitement could possibly mean,” he says, draping an arm around Jenna’s shoulder. “But please, do tell because we’re dying to know.”
Her eyes light up with excitement as she tucks a stand of purple hair behind her ear. “It means that my dream came true, which means my wish of being psychic came true.”
“Dream?” I ask, intrigued. “Do tell me about this dream.”
“It was about meeting you,” she explains as we slowly move down the crammed hallway. “Before we started school here, I had a dream that we were going to meet someone who would become our friend.”
“Jenna wants to be a psychic,” Ari explains as he steers her toward the doors. “It’s all she’s talked about since she was twelve.”
“You sound like my mother,” I tell her as we push through the doors and step outside. “She’s really into that stuff. And tarot cards.”
“Oh, I love tarot cards,” Jenna beams and Ari laughs, shaking his head. Clearly, he’s heard this speech before. “You know what we should do tonight?”
“Study?” Ari suggests hopefully.
Jenna shakes her head and slams to a grinding halt right in the middle of a mob of students. “We should go downtown and check out Madame Sarine’s Tarot Shop.”
Ari scrunches his nose. “Do we have to? I’m kind of tired of getting my cards read.”
“That’s because you always get the death card.”
“Which proves just how inaccurate tarot reading is.”
She waves a finger and tsks him. “Don’t insult the cards.”
He tries to maintain his frown, but eventually heaves a sigh and surrenders. “Fine, I’ll go, but only if Greyson comes, too.” He looks at me pleadingly, as if he’s crossing his fingers I’ll reject the offer so he won’t have to go himself.
“Sorry,” I tell him. “But I really would like to get out of my apartment. I’m starting to go stir crazy.”
Jenna claps her hands, jumping up and down and sticking her tongue out at Ari, who sighs again before chuckling.
“Fine, I’ll go,” he concedes. “But only if we can go home and get some work done before we go out.”
Jenna agrees and we say our good-byes, the two of them waving as they head off toward the parking lot, leaving me to make the five-mile walk home by myself. I don’t mind being alone, though. It gives me some time to clear my head.
My thoughts drift back over the day’s events, feeling pretty content with the way it played out. Well, outside of Seth freaking out on me. I can’t stop stressing about what I could have possibly done wrong.
***
Before I go out with Ari and Jenna, I decide to pick up takeout because I’m tired of pizza. I call in my order before beginning the short walk to the restaurant, zipping up my jacket and pulling my hood over my head when the chilly evening air hits me. Staring up at the full moon, I think about what an awesome picture it would be and curse myself for not bringing my camera.
I’m almost
to the restaurant when my phone rings. Fishing it out from my pocket, I smile when I see Jenna’s name flash across the screen.
“What’s up?” I answer, putting the phone up to my ear.
“Nothing,” she says cheerfully. “We were just getting ready to head to your place, but then I realized I don’t have your address.”
“I’m actually walking right now to pick up some takeout.”
“From which restaurant? We’ll just meet you there.”
“I think it’s called the Moonlight Diner.” I glance up at the street sign as I approach the corner. “It’s on Cherry and Peach.”
“That sounds like the name of a slushy,” she remarks. “Oh! We should totally stop at the Snow Cone Palace on our way downtown.”
I hear Ari holler something about being tired of snow cones and Jenna yells, “You can never get tired of snow cones.” There’s a pause and then she says, “Wait at the restaurant for us. We’ll be there in ten.”
“Okay. See you in a few.” I hang up and pick up the pace, noting how much better I feel than I did just a few moments ago.
I don’t know why I was so worried about making friends. I’m doing okay, at least with Ari and Jenna.
As I turn into the parking lot of the Moonlight Diner, though, I’m reminded that not all my friendly endeavors were a success.
Standing near the entrance doors below the neon signs and twinkling lights is Seth. He’s near the ashtrays, smoking a cigarette and talking to a guy with short brown hair that I think is in my Biology class.
Seth is talking animatedly, his hands flailing through the air as he speaks. “I know. It’s so crazy, right…” He trails off when he spots me.
Even though it’s pretty dark, I can see him stiffen. He seems so uneasy about the prospect of talking to me that I consider letting him off the hook, but I’m fucking hungry and I’m not about to walk away from my dinner.
I cross the parking lot, stuffing my hands into my back pockets as I reach the two of them. “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Oh, hey,” Seth replies tensely. He glances at the guy then scratches his head and takes a drag of his cigarette. “What are you doing here?”
I point at the diner sign. “Getting takeout.”
“Oh, right.” He laughs nervously. “I almost forgot we were at a restaurant.”
I don’t know him very well, but his behavior seems strange and twitchy. Again, I wonder if I misread his signals earlier today when I thought he might be into me. But we held hands for so damn long and I know I saw him checking me out a time or two. Maybe he’s nervous because he’s still trying to find himself? Or perhaps he’s on a date with this guy? I don’t think the latter is the case, though. I’m not really picking up on a date vibe between them.
When a girl wearing a tight red dress comes strolling out of the restaurant, the guy Seth’s with practically breaks his neck to check her out, cementing the fact that it’s definitely not a date. So what’s Seth’s deal, then? Why go from friendly to standoffish in a snap of a finger?
When Seth notices me glancing back and forth between him and the guy, he lets out another nervous laugh. “Oh, yeah, introductions right?” He motions at the guy. “Luke, this is Greyson. Greyson, Luke.”
I give Luke a small wave. “Yeah, I think we have bio together.”
He nods, still somewhat distracted by the girl in the red dress. “It’s nice to meet you, man.”
An awkward silence settles between us, and I decide it’s time to get my food before Jenna and Ari get here. I start for the door at the same time Seth steps for it and we slam into each other. I grab onto his arms as I start to stumble back and our gazes lock. His gaze drops to my lips and his fingers dig into my arms. A heartbeat goes by before he shuffles away from me, but it’s enough time for me to see the want in his eyes beneath the overwhelming fear.
I realize Seth’s afraid to be seen with me. While I was lucky to be born into an accepting family and never had too much of a problem openly being myself, I understand everyone isn’t that lucky. Sadly, I’m guessing Seth is one of the unlucky ones.
I wish I could do something to help him. Hug him or something, tell him it’s okay, that whatever happened to him is going to be fine. But unlike my mother, I don’t believe I can see the future.
As I walk into the restaurant, I decide I’m going to make an effort to get to know him. If for nothing else than to be his friend.
Chapter 4
Seth
I hate how flustered and confused I feel after watching Greyson walk away from me. Part of me wants to apologize for my ridiculous behavior, but part of me is relieved. Luke doesn’t seem like a judgmental person, but I can’t seem to help my reaction. The same thing happened when we were holding hands in class earlier today and a football player took a seat in front of me, sending me straight into a flashback.
I know not every guy is Braiden, but I still find myself drowning in memories of my ex, the star quarterback at my high school and one hundred percent gorgeous. I never thought he’d be interested in me, but during a project we got paired up on, we ended up making out in my room. One hot and heavy make out session led to secret weekend hookups. Deep down, I think I always knew things would end badly. Braiden wasn’t openly gay and refused to see me outside the four walls of my garage. What I didn’t expect was our relationship to end in such an ugly and brutal way.
I flinch at the memory and head back to the booth with Luke to join Callie and Kayden, who are engulfed in an intense conversation. While I’m curious about what they’re discussing, my thoughts are still caught up in Greyson and the look on his face when he walked away.
He saw the fear inside me, the façade I put on that I’m always okay, always happy, all smiles, sunshine, and freakin’ bedazzled unicorns.
On our way out of the restaurant, I contemplate talking to Callie about Greyson, but she’s still pretty frustrated with me over inviting Kayden and Luke to dinner.
“I’m so going to get you back for this,” she hisses under her breath as we head to the car.
“Why?” I whisper innocently. “I thought it went pretty well.”
“It did, except for…” She bites her lip and looks down at her hands.
“Except for what?”
“Except for when you left, Kayden tried to thank me and then he touched my hand.” She wrings her hands in front of her with her head tipped down. “I freaked out and he probably thinks I’m even more of a weirdo then he did before.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I sneak a peek at Kayden. His attention is focused solely on Callie, the worried look on his face proof of exactly how concerned he is about her.
“I really don’t think that’s what he’s thinking,” I tell her in a low voice.
She peers up at me. “Why not?”
Sliding my arm around her, I shoot her a grin rather than answer her question, realizing she’s not ready to hear my predictions regarding the Callie/Kayden debacle. Sometimes you can just tell people belong together. Sometimes you just know.
Knowing is the easiest part. It’s accepting and opening up that’s complicated.
***
The weeks drift by in a sea of mind-numbing schoolwork. I spend a lot of my free time with Callie, and during class, I pretend not to notice Greyson. His hot-as-hell presence torments me, but I don’t attempt to talk to him. I’m too mortified over my behavior at the restaurant and frustrated with myself for letting my past control me. Since life doesn’t offer mulligans, I do the only thing I can. I just go with the flow.
I’ve just about convinced myself that I’m over my crush on Greyson when he leans toward me right in the middle of the professor’s lecture. Just like that, I’m right back where I started. Completely obsessed.
“So, do you get anything he’s saying?” he whispers under his breath.
My initial instinct is to look around and see if anyone is watching us, but I get caught up in the delicious scent of his cologne and blank out. “Yeah, a
little bit.”
His brow crooks. “You said you weren’t a fan of school.”
“Yeah, I’m not. It doesn’t mean that I suck at all my classes, though. I just prefer not to have my head crammed with mostly useless knowledge.”
His gaze drops to his open textbook then lands back at me. “Maybe you could tutor me, then. English isn’t really my forte.”
I question whether he’s being serious or just using tutoring as an excuse to hang out. “What is your forte? Because I’m really curious.” My flirty tone comes out and shocks me a little.