“You’re into cards?” I question, staring at the table covered with poker chips and cards.
“It’s okay. It can be really fun when you’re drunk.”
“Are you drunk?”
“Are you?”
I mentally try to calculate a problem using the quadratic formula I learned in Pre-Cal, but then realize I couldn’t even figure out the answer sober.
“What are you thinking about?” Greyson's gaze zeros in on my lips and desire fills his eyes.
“You really want to know?” I ask and he nods. “The quadratic formula.”
The desire deflates like a balloon. “What?”
“Never mind.” I nod at the table five guys and three girls are seated around. “So, are we going to play?”
“Do you know how?”
“Of course.”
A thoughtful look crosses his face. “Okay, good, because I want to make a wager.”
“A wager?”
“Yeah, if I win more than you, you have to go to this art show with me.”
I hesitate. “And if I win?”
He shrugs. “You can have anything you want.”
My skin warms as thousands of very vivid images of what I want flash through my mind.
“All right, you have a deal.” I stick out my hand to shake on it.
He wraps his hand around mine, grips tightly and slides his finger along the inside of my wrist as he pulls away.
“Can I just say again that I seriously don’t understand why you think you’re awkward,” I tell him. “You’re kind of the exact opposite.”
“Well, I’m kind of a little drunk right now, so the alcohol puts the weirdo inside me to sleep.”
I shake my head, laughing under my breath. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”
“Wait, aren’t you going to tell me what you want if you win?” he asks, rolling his tongue along the inside of his mouth to stop himself from grinning.
I shake my head. “Nope. You’re just going to have to wait until after I win.”
His eyes glimmer with amusement as I hedge around him and take a seat at the table. He sits down beside me, we both buy a fair amount of chips, and the game begins. We’re not really playing against everyone else, so Greyson and I keep our own little tally as hand after hand is dealt. I’m a pretty decent player, but Greyson seems to be a bit better. He keeps smirking in my direction, like he’s sure he’s going to kick my ass.
Two hours later, I’ve gotten lost in the game and the worry about everyone watching me has dissipated. The downside, I’ve lost all my chips and the wager we made. My stomach churns as we leave the table and the party, knowing that I have no excuse not to go with him to the art show. Whether I’m over my fear or not, I have to go out on a date with him.
“A penny for your thoughts?” he asks as we stroll up the sidewalk toward the campus that’s a few blocks away.
“I was just thinking about how much I hate to lose.” I fake a pout. “I’m an extremely sore loser.”
“And I’m kind of an arrogant winner.” He forces a smirk, but then busts up laughing. “Okay, actually I’m not. In fact, I kind of feel bad that you lost.”
“Enough to let me win, perhaps?”
“No way. I’m holding you to our deal. Besides, I hate going to these art shows by myself. The room is always so stuffy and so are most of the people.”
“But you’re an art major.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I fit the mold of art gallery people.”
We pause at the corner, checking for traffic before stepping off the curb to cross the street. My head is still spinning a bit, and I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol or Greyson. The streets are mostly deserted at this hour and it’s so quiet I can almost pretend that Greyson and I are the only two people who exist. If only I could feel that way all the time. Life would be so much easier.
“I’ll tell you what.” Greyson walks backwards so he’s facing me. “How about we consider both of us winners? You go to the art show with me and you get one thing of your choice.”
“You know, you’re putting a lot of trust in me right now,” I say as I hop up onto the sidewalk. “Giving me free reign to do whatever I want, especially when I have such a wild imagination.”
He stops walking and I almost run into him. “Okay, now you’ve got me wondering what the hell you’re going to pick.”
I flash him a wicked smirk. “Oh, no. I’m not going to pick something right away. I’m going to wait until the perfect moment and spring it on you.”
He restrains a grin as we start walking again. “Fine. But you still have to go to the art show with me. That’s the deal.”
I nod, shaking, terrified to death. “It’s next Friday night, right?”
He nods, slowing down as we reach the front of my lofty dorm building. Most of the lights are off and the air carries a stillness to it.
“So, this is me,” I tell him, digging my keycard out of my pocket.
I’m not sure what exactly I’m supposed to do. Invite him in? Yeah, I’m sure my roommate would love that. Then again, he’s never there.
I press my hand to my head. God, I’m getting a headache from the stress.
“I need to get home,” Greyson says, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d guess he was saving me from my inner conflict. “But I’ll call you tomorrow and give you all the details about the show. The time, place, and whatnot. Jenna and Ari are going to be driving. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course.” I turn to slide the keycard through the slot, feeling flustered for some reason.
“Seth,” he says tentatively as I’m opening the door.
I pause without turning around. “Yeah.” My voice shakes a little, which is ridiculous.
I’ve never been the nervous type, not even the first time Braiden and I kissed. It just kind of happened and I felt excited, but never nervous.
His hand touches my arm and he gives me a little tug. I turn around without thinking and he leans in and brushes his lips against mine. He kisses more tentatively than I’m used to, as if he’s nervous, too, which makes me feel a little better, yet I’m still a little hesitant. When my hands find his arms and grip tight, he backs me up into the wall and deepens the kiss. Suddenly, my reservations go right out the window and I’m completely and utterly turned on. It’s been so long since I’ve wanted a guy this much.
I wish I could say that it erases all the pain inside me, that the scars and memories suddenly fade away and are forgotten in an instant. But that’s the thing about scars. They always stay with us, whether visible or unseen. It doesn’t mean that I have to let them control me, though, so I let go and kiss him back with everything I have in me, allowing myself to momentarily forget about the terrible stuff that happened to me.
He tastes minty and I can’t figure out why. All I saw him drink was Bacardi tonight, and I wonder if he popped a mint in anticipation of this moment. I find the idea cutely amusing and smile against his lips.
He pulls away slightly. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” I chuckle again, sliding one of my hands around the back of his neck and kissing him far less timidly.
Our bodies press together and I can feel how much he wants me as he gently grinds his hips against me. God, I forgot how much I loved to kiss and touch. I get so into it I almost forget where we are. When someone drives by and honks their horn, I immediately pull away, catching my breath and trying to process what just happened.
Greyson looks like he’s teetering somewhere between being high and turned on as he backs up, his mouth tugged to a lopsided grin. “So, thanks and um, yeah, I’ll text you tomorrow with the details.” He rakes his fingers through his hair and he kind of trips over his feet as he turns for the grass.
I smile at the sight of his awkward side coming out. “And there it is.”
He gives me a wave from over his shoulder before disappearing down the sidewalk. I turn for the door, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself d
own before I slip my keycard through the slot again and walk inside.
I instantly freeze when I spot Luke lounging in one of the chairs inside the entrance.
“Hey, man,” he says with a chin nod.
My heart pounds in my chest and blood roars in my eardrums. Did he just see us kiss? The taste of dirt floods my mouth. Stop thinking about it, Seth, and relax. Just breathe. Everything will be okay. “Hey…” I glance around the empty room. “What’re you doing down here?”
He shrugs, sitting up in the chair. “Well, I was going to go up to my room, but then Kayden texted me saying that Callie was spending the night and that I should crash somewhere else.”
“What the fuck?” I storm for the elevator. “I told him to keep his hands off her.”
Luke clumsily trips to his feet. “Would you relax?” He grabs my arm, stopping me. “He’s not sleeping with her. He’s letting her crash because of some red scarf on the doorknob or something.”
“How the hell do I know that’s true? I don’t really know him. Or you, for that matter.”
Luke pulls out his phone, taps the screen, and hands it to me. “Here, read his text. It should give you some peace of mind.”
I glance down at the message.
Kayden: Hey, I’m taking Callie back to our place because there was a red scarf on her doorknob. Could you find a place to crash? She’s a little nervous around people she doesn’t know and I don’t want her worried about anything.
“All right, that’s actually kind of sweet.” I hand him his phone, relaxing a little. “Where are you going to crash, though?”
Luke points at the front door. “I’m actually waiting for someone to pick me up for a party.”
“Weren’t you just at one?”
“Yeah, so? I want to keep the fun going. Besides, I’m not even close to being tired.”
“All right, gotcha.” I pull out my phone and send Callie a text to call me the moment she wakes up. “I’m actually not that tired myself.”
In fact, I’m extremely wired. My mind is racing with thoughts of Greyson’s kiss and how soft his lips felt, how fucking amazing it felt to be kissed again. The idea of going to sleep seems absurdly implausible.
“You want to go out with us?” He glances at the parking lot just outside the window. “We’re thinking about hitting up this place called Red Ink that’s supposed to have cheap drinks and killer music.”
I put my phone away. “Who are you going with?”
“A girl I met at the party,” he says, looking back at me. “If you want, we can chase down Greyson and see if he wants to go, too.”
I try to keep my shock under control. Luke obviously witnessed me kissing Greyson. My first kiss out in the open. My first kiss since the assault.
“You’d be okay with that?”
“Why the fuck wouldn’t I be? Greyson’s cool. You’re cool. We’re all just living one fun-filled life of coolness.”
I study him closely, wondering if he’s for real. He seems dead serious and kind of confused about why I’m staring at him.
I decide I’m going to do it. I’ve already taken a few big steps tonight, so why not just keep going? Nothing bad has happened yet. I can do this.
“Okay, I’m always down for clubbing.” I retrieve my phone again. “I’m going to text Greyson, though, because I’m not about to run down the sidewalk after him. It goes against my lifetime vow of never exercising.”
He laughs, plopping down in the chair again. “Sounds good.”
I pause, thinking about what I should say in the text.
Me: Hey, so Luke Price and an unknown girl invited me to the Red Ink. He invited u, too.
I hit send and quickly type up another message.
Me: Oh yeah, I’d really like it if u went.
“How do you even know Greyson?” I ask Luke while I wait for Greyson to reply.
“We’re in Bio together. He’s actually my lab partner. He seems pretty cool.” His attention whips to the side as headlights shine through the window. “And there’s our ride.” He hops to his feet and heads to the door with me following.
By the time we reach the parking lot, Greyson hasn’t text back. Totally deserved, I think to myself, for blowing him off so often.
I’m about to climb into the car when my phone vibrates. I smile as I fish it out.
Greyson: Sure. I’m down. I’m about four blocks down, but I’ll turn around.
Me: No, just wait there. We’ll pick u up.
I duck into the car, feeling nervous, but giddy. The giddiness remains even when I look down at my scars. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to conquer my fears and my past after all.
Chapter 9
Seth
“Luke, Luke, Luke,” I tsk him from across the booth. “Where the hell did you find that girl? On the street corner?”
Luke glances over his shoulder at the brunette that brought us here, who grins at him and slides her hands down her body, right there for everyone at the bar to see. “She’s not that bad, is she?” he asks, looking at me.
“Well, I’m not the best judge, but I’m going to go with a no.” I turn my head to Greyson, who’s sitting in the booth beside me. “What do you think?”
Greyson snorts a laugh as he stirs the ice in his whiskey tonic. “You think I’m a better judge than you?”
“True.” I direct my attention back to Luke. “All I know is that the leopard print dress she’s wearing is tacky and don’t even get me started on those fishnet tights. I’d say her shoes are okay alone, but the whole outfit together,” I make a gagging face. “So gross.”
“So, you’re basing who she is on how she looks?” Luke questions in surprise. “That’s harsh.”
“No, I’m basing who she is on the sole fact that she thinks the,” I make air quotes, “’person’ in the GPS system sounds super hot and she wonders if he’s single.”
“Okay, she might not be the brightest chick in the room, but she’s still hot.” Luke picks up his drink and swallows it in one shot.
“That’s debatable,” I argue, scooping up the drink in front of me.
Greyson chuckles as he slides his arm along the booth, so the crook of his elbow is resting just behind my head. Even though he’s not touching, I can feel his nearness all over me. Panic flashes through me and I take a few measured breaths as I glance around the busy club. People are dry humping each other on the dance floor, flirting at the bar, and hanging out in booths. All having fun, totally relaxed, like I should be.
“She’s just a hook up,” Luke explains, setting down his empty glass. “It’s not like I’m trying to date her or anything.”
“Have you even dated anyone, ever?” I ask with doubt.
He rolls his eyes like what I said is the most absurd thing he’s ever heard. “Yeah, right.”
“Never once?” I question. “Not even in high school?”
With his jaw set tight, he looks out at the dance floor. “It’s not my thing, okay?”
I open my mouth to press more, but Greyson brushes his finger across the back of my neck and shakes his head, signaling for me to let it go. The touch causes my mind to instantly go back to the kiss we shared earlier and I start getting wound up all over again. It makes me a bit nervous, though, being out with people.
Luke abruptly rises to his feet. “I think I’m going to go get a drink.” He strides off toward the bar, pushing people out of his way.
“Are you my voice of reason now?” I ask in a low tone, leaning in toward Greyson.
“Hey, you’re the one who said you cross personal boundaries sometimes.” His smile lights up his eyes. “I thought I’d help you out. He seemed a little upset.”
“I wonder why.”
“I’m sure he has a reason, but I don’t think he wanted to talk about it.”
I swish the ice around in the glass. “What about you?”
His forehead furrows. “What about me?”
I roll up my sleeves and rest my arms on the table
. “How many guys did you date in high school?”
He lifts the brim of his glass to his mouth and sips a long drink before setting it back down. “You really want a number?”
I nod, even though I’m not really sure I do.
He huffs out a sigh then counts down on his fingers. “Five total.”
I try to decide if that’s a lot. Since he came out when he was fourteen and his parents were okay with him dating, that doesn’t seem so bad. But it makes me look very pathetic and inexperienced.