“You’re not human, Lilywhite. Neither am I. Neither is Creed . . . or the others.” Zephyr watched her as he spoke. “There’s so much you don’t know, but—”
“I know everything I need to know.” Lily met Zephyr’s eyes and told him, “I am Iana and Nicolas Abernathy’s daughter. I am fae-blood, but there’s no way I’m true fae. This is ridiculous.”
“You might be Seelie after all,” he muttered.
“I can assure you that I’m not.”
“I hope not,” Zephyr said. “I’d rather you were Unseelie.” He paused and looked at her before adding, “Like me.”
“I need to leave.”
“I’m sorry,” Zephyr said quietly. “I don’t know why you were left alone before or why you had no handler, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you had to go all of these years without the rest of us around to help you. I’m sorry we didn’t realize that you were left to figure it out alone.”
“I figured out that I had an ancestor that was other than human,” Lilywhite said. “That’s it. I have a father, a good father, who made sure I had everything.”
Before Zephyr could try to figure out what to say, Creed shocked him. “What if I knew someone who could prove it?” he asked.
“Who?”
Creed shook his head. “That’s the only catch, Zeph: you can’t ask. I’m in no shape to endure lying right now.”
“You could tell the truth,” Zephyr said. “Novel idea, I know, but you could consider it.”
Creed leaned back into the cushions and kicked his feet out in front of him. “I can help, but it has to be my way. It’ll take a few days, but I can send a message.” He turned to face Lily. “What do you say? Give us a week or so. I’ll bring you proof. You’re like us, Lily. Let me show you.”
Lily studied him before countering, “Fine, but I don’t want anyone else to know about this. Just the three of us.”
“And the mystery guest,” Zephyr snarked.
“Obviously.”
“Outsiders? This isn’t the way we handle things, Creed,” Zephyr started.
“I agreed to it,” Lilywhite said.
Creed remained silent.
“So . . . we have a week for this ‘proof’ to arrive,” she said after a long pause. “Until then, you’ve both offered your friendship, and whatever else is going on, it would be nice to try that as long as we can.”
Both boys glanced at her, exchanged a tense look with each other, but remained silent. Zephyr didn’t want to table anything. He’d been waiting for her for years. This should’ve gone differently. For starters, Creed shouldn’t have been there, and Lilywhite was supposed to look at him with appreciation, not Creed. Zephyr had given up Alkamy. He’d faced the queen. He’d looked after the cell on his own. When Lilywhite arrived, things were supposed to be better. She was to be his salvation.
“You can keep your secrets, and I’ll keep mine,” Lilywhite offered, drawing him out of his thoughts. “One week. A truce between all of us.”
“Done,” Creed said with a nod. “Zeph?”
Zephyr looked at Creed. They’d been closer once, years ago. Creed had been his best friend. It would be nice to have that again, even for a little while. He nodded and said, “A holiday from fighting with you? It seems unlikely, but I’m willing to try.”
nineteen
LILY
After a couple of hours, Lily returned to campus with the boys. Creed’s hoodie was once again hiding her face. Lily stopped at the wall of the garden and the vines shifted for her. Neither boy commented, but she saw them smile. It was an admission of trust of sorts. She’d meant it when she had offered a truce. For the next week, they would be friends. Being friends with fae-bloods—because she refused to believe that they were actually true fae—meant being herself in a way she’d never been able to be. With Erik, she still hid that part of her. With most of the staff, she did too. Hiding in front of Creed and Zephyr, and by extension the rest of the Sleepers, would be unnecessary and a huge sign of mistrust considering what they’d shared with her.
Lily slipped into her suite as quietly as she could, but Alkamy was awake and in the main room. She was wrapped up in a blanket sitting on the sofa and looked worried. “Where were you?”
“The Row House.”
“So do you know?” Alkamy asked softly.
“That you and all of your friends are fae-blood? Yes.”
“We’re true fae,” Alkamy corrected. “And the rest?”
“I’m not sure how much of it, but enough.” After a slight pause, Lily added, “So why weren’t you already rooming with Violet?”
Alkamy laughed in that childlike peal of happiness. “Oh, you won’t need to ask that after you spend a moment around Vi. I love her, but she’s . . . chaotic. I’d need to meditate half the day to stay close to balanced. She’s fire. I’m earth and air. We’re friends, but we need space.”
“Affinities matter that much?” Lily flopped down on the other end of the sofa from her suitemate, who shoved part of the blanket toward her. Wordlessly, Lily tucked her legs under it.
“Zephyr is earth, which you obviously know if you were off campus. Only the two of us can do that.” Alkamy sounded much like she had earlier when she was explaining the ways around campus and extolling the virtues of the dining hall. She was a natural teacher. “Creed and Will are air,” she continued. “Roan is water. Our only one of those.”
“But only one affinity?”
Alkamy glanced at her hands. “I seem to be both air and earth.”
“I have trouble with air,” Lily confided.
“So earth or . . . ?”
“Earth and water.” Lily had never admitted any of this, but regardless of what happened with Zephyr and Creed, she was hoping to keep Alkamy as a friend, so she added, “and a little air . . . sometimes.”
Alkamy gaped. “Three? You have three affinities.”
Lily didn’t answer, both because she didn’t want to lie and because Alkamy already had this reaction to three affinities. What would she think of four?
“That’s incredible. We’ll all be safer with you finally here.” Alkamy folded her hands together beatifically, and Lily couldn’t help thinking of statues she’d seen in the Uffizi Gallery. There was something greater than human about her. Even if Lily didn’t want to believe that they were all changelings, she could almost believe it about Alkamy.
“Does Zephyr know?”
Lily shrugged. “I didn’t say it. He and Creed know about the earth part. I think Zephyr knew about the water before we met. He was waiting for me at the pier when I arrived.”
“Right. The pier.” Alkamy drew the covers closer around her.
Lily took a deep breath before continuing, “I hadn’t met you then. If I had, I’d—”
“Stop.” Alkamy shook her head. “Zephyr and I aren’t meant to be, Lily.”
Lily let out a sigh. “I don’t want him, Kamy. I just . . .”
Alkamy reached out and patted Lily’s leg. “He’s been waiting for you since we started at Columba’s. You’re the second head of our cell. To him, you’re the grail.”
“I’m not. I’m a person.”
“Everyone loves Zephyr. Between him and Creed, I think they’ve stolen the hearts of most of the girls here. Roan and Will, the girls pine over them, but . . .” She looked down when she noticed Lily’s expression. “We can’t get attached, Lily. Not to any of the humans. There are rules, and now that you’re here . . .”
“What?”
“I suspect we’ll be called on to do more. For now, it’s a few deliveries, the occasional escorting a fae or human somewhere they can’t reach on their own. For Will, it’s the passing of secrets. For Roan, access to chemicals. There are other things, but so far our tasks for her have been . . . small. Now that you’re here, Zephyr thinks things will change.”
“I don’t serve her.” Lily stood. “I like you. I like them too, but I don’t serve her. Not now. Not ever.”
Alkamy’
s eyes widened. “You can’t say that. You didn’t grow up knowing. You don’t know what—”
“She kills people. I know that.”
“And your father doesn’t?” Alkamy challenged.
“Maybe he does. Maybe I will too, but not at someone else’s whim and not the innocent. If I’m to become a weapon, it’s only ever going to be by my choice.” Lily looked at her suitemate, who didn’t look angry as much as worried. She sighed. “Look. I don’t want to fight.”
Alkamy nodded, but she didn’t speak again until Lily was at the door to her room. “None of us want this, Lily. Not even Zephyr. He thinks we don’t know how he feels, but I see his doubts. We’re trapped. None of us want the queen’s guards to kill us in our sleep, either. They tell us we were born to do this, that we’re special, and there is no choice.”
Lily turned back. “There are always choices, Kamy. I don’t know if they’re good choices, but there are some. We can find them.”
Alkamy was quiet for a long moment. Then she shook her head. “Not unless Zephyr agrees. I won’t go against him.”
Lily nodded. There was nothing to say to that, not really. It was the same sort of logic that she’d seen in some of Daidí’s most trusted employees. It was loyalty at all costs, and she respected it. Quietly, she told Alkamy, “I’m going to catch a few hours before it’s officially morning.”
“Lily?”
She paused, and Alkamy added, “That’s Creed’s shirt. Please don’t make things more complicated than they need to be.”
And as much as Lily wanted to reply, she didn’t know exactly what to say, whether she should point out that she didn’t take orders or attempt to say that she didn’t want Creed. The first was true, but saying it would be tantamount to admitting the latter, which despite her best efforts was quickly becoming a lie. So Lily opted for silence.
A few hours later, Lily woke to the sound of crying outside her bedroom door. The air smelled like someone had left a campfire burning, not the kind of smoky scent that worried her, but combined with the weeping, it was enough for Lily to investigate.
After stumbling to the common room, she found Alkamy sitting there with none other than Violet Lamb. The crying was coming from Violet, whose expression suddenly was anything but sad when she spied Lily in the doorway. In barely more time than it took to wipe the tears from her cheek, Violet was standing and glaring at Lily.
“So, you’re the new roommate.”
Like Alkamy, Violet was the sort of beautiful that made it difficult to deny her heritage. Even in the small bit of sunlight that came through the window, Violet’s vivid red hair recalled living fire. Her skin was like twilight, and the contrast of the seemingly living flames of her hair and the shadowed hues of her skin made her every bit as stunning as Alkamy.
The words tumbled from Lily in her half-asleep state: “How does anyone believe that you’re not fae-blood?”
Violet lifted one brow in an aristocratic query.
“Seriously, Zephyr and Creed might be able to pass, but you two?” Lily flopped on the empty chair, too emotionally drained to once again go through the whole do-I-admit-I-know game. She tucked her feet under her and said, “Lilywhite Abernathy. Missing member of your group, daughter of crime lord, exceedingly bad at social etiquette.”
Violet turned her gaze on Alkamy. “Forget to mention something?”
Alkamy shrugged as if she was utterly nonplussed. “I said I had a new suitemate.”
“You didn’t say that it was her.”
At that, Alkamy giggled. “Admit it, Vi. You wouldn’t have let her sleep, and it was more fun to be surprised, wasn’t it?” She nudged Violet with her foot. “If you’d stopped to see any of the boys, you’d know.”
Violet shook her head and turned her attention back to Lily. “So, Zeph’s imaginary girlfriend finally graces us with her presence.”
“Vi!”
“It’s fine, Kamy.” Lily didn’t look away from Violet as she spoke. Much like the daughters of Daidí’s business associates had always done, Violet was assessing Lily, determining where she ranked, deciding if she was worthy or a threat or simply dismissible. “Violet is just embarrassed that I heard her weeping.” Lily paused and met Violet’s gaze. “Or is it a protective thing?”
“Protective. I don’t do embarrassed.” Violet stood. Flashes of fire seemed to hover like lightning in her dark brown eyes for a moment as she stepped in front of Alkamy, who sighed.
“Good.” Lily nodded once. “So far, they all seem like they could use a bit of protecting. I haven’t met Will or Roan, but these other three are all a little reckless.”
Violet’s entire posture shifted. Lily thought she might even see hints of a smile that was quickly dismissed before Violet asked, “What’s your affinity?”
“I’m earth and water,” Lily offered the half-truth with a yawn. Eventually she might need to let them all in on it, but not yet.
Alkamy glanced at her questioningly, but she didn’t add “and air.” That moment of silence told her a lot about Alkamy, and Lily was grateful.
“So are you okay then?” Lily risked. “The crying earlier . . .” She let her words trail off in an invitation.
Violet shifted. “Always. I am always okay.”
“There was an incident,” Alkamy said softly. “A shopping mall in York burned last night.”
Violet’s defensive posture told Lily more than she wanted to know, but she still asked, “You?”
She tilted her head, chin jutting out, eyes narrowed. “We all get orders, Lilywhite. Everyone must do things for the cause.”
Before Lily could reply, Alkamy added, “It was either this or Roan. Vi took it on so he didn’t have to.”
“He would’ve,” Violet said quickly. “We’re obedient to our orders. Roan would—”
“I’m not judging either of you.” Lily met her eyes. “I wasn’t raised to obey the Queen of Blood and Rage, but I’m also not going to hate you for whatever you think you have to do.”
“You’ll have to do it too. Now that you’re here—”
“No. I’m not hers,” Lily interrupted.
Violet started to say something else, but at the touch of Alkamy’s hand on her wrist, she closed her mouth.
The easy flow of words didn’t resume. Violet had just committed murder, and from the looks of it she felt guilty. She’d done it to protect one of her friends from that very guilt. Like the rest of the Sleepers, Violet was someone Lily could respect.
Resolved, Lily stood and announced, “I still need to meet Will and Roan. Let’s get breakfast and then you can take me to meet them.”
“Perfect!” Alkamy clapped her hands together, once more seeming oddly childlike in her joy. She turned her eyes to Violet. “Can we go to the diner?”
“No.”
“Come on, Vi!”
“No, no, no.” Violet folded her arms. “Last time we were there, Creed passed out in his waffles, and Zephyr was all up on that waitress who, by the way, was far too old for him. I do not want drama.”
Alkamy snorted and mock-whispered to Lily, “Get dressed. Her mood will shift in a minute anyhow.”
“Piss off.”
Lily left the two girls, and by the time she was in her room, she heard Violet’s laughter. Sometimes she wished that she had a primary affinity to fire instead of earth. There was something impossibly attractive about being so fluid in mood, but Lily tended toward constancy. Her earth affinity was first and strongest. That meant that she pursued her course steadfastly.
“We’re going to go to a café outside Belfoure,” Violet called through the door. “I’ve called my driver.”
“I’m not allowed off campus,” Lily replied, even though she’d already broken that rule once.
“So wear a hat or a scarf. Zeph can take you out the back way, and we’ll pick you up.”
If Daidí or even Hector knew that Lily was ignoring the rules so regularly, they’d fit her with a tracking device. Somehow, though,
the things that had seemed risky before didn’t seem as much so now.
She was surrounded by fae-blood, who apparently thought themselves to be true fae and who were acting as—well, terrorists. Worse yet, they considered her to be one of them. The list of things that could go wrong was more than Lily wanted to contemplate, but rightly or not, Lily felt more at home with them than she ever had in her life. Being around these so-called Sleepers felt right.
She grabbed Creed’s hoodie from the night before and pulled it on. In the midst of everything, he alone had made her feel better. He might unnerve her, but there was no way to deny that they had some kind of a connection. Sure, Zephyr had tempted her when he kissed her, but she suspected that would be true for any girl with eyes, a pulse, and an interest in the opposite sex. Creed . . . he was different. She felt drawn to him like fire to tinder, and her initial theory that it was purely a fae-blood reaction seemed disproven after meeting Violet and Alkamy. Lily felt right around the others, but it wasn’t the same sort of irresistible demand she felt with Creed.
“I don’t need Zephyr to open the back gate,” Lily told Violet as she stepped into the room again.
A look between the two fae-blood made it very clear that Violet recognized the shirt too. All she said after Alkamy’s nod was “Are you sure you want to wear that?”
“I am.”
Alkamy pressed her lips tightly together, but she didn’t say a word. At some point, they’d need to discuss the fact that there was no way in either world that Lily was getting tangled up in Zephyr. He was beautiful, but his zealousness about the queen and his perceived mission were major problems.
“And to think that the boys were so easy to handle before you arrived,” Violet said, earning a frown from Alkamy.
Lily just laughed. Clearly the boys’ drama had been going on for a while. “Food and fun, Kamy. That’s the plan. No more talk of fae politics or any of it.”
Alkamy pressed her lips together, but she nodded.
Now all that was left was convincing the boys to cooperate with her plan.
twenty