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Thayer’s face went pale, but he didn’t flinch. He stared at Emma with steady green eyes. “I guess that explains why you asked me so many weird questions when I was in jail. You thought I did it for a while, didn’t you?”
Emma hesitated, then nodded. “I know now you’re not capable of anything like that. But when I first got here I didn’t know anything about anyone. Everyone was a suspect. You, Mads, Charlotte, Gabby, and Lili. ” She paused. “Even Laurel. ”
Emma fell silent, shivering in the morning breeze. For a few minutes the only sounds were the birds twittering in the low canopy of trees. A college-aged nanny wearing a jumper and tights pushed a stroller down the street. She started to enter the playground but seemed to change her mind when she saw two teenagers hanging out there during school hours. Emma swayed gently on the swing, the chains creaking overhead.
“Well?” Thayer asked after a moment’s silence. “Who are your suspects now? Do you have any clues?”
Emma picked at one of her cuticles, her mind racing. Thayer might have information she needed, something that could help her defeat Garrett before he managed to frame her. Then this nightmare could be over.
But she thought of the notes she’d gotten, the warnings. She’d been one step behind Garrett ever since she arrived in Tucson. Ethan was already in danger just for helping her. She didn’t want to risk any more lives.
“No,” she lied. “And anyway, I don’t want you involved. It’s too dangerous. ”
Thayer stepped forward quickly, to stand directly in front of Emma. “I’m not stupid. I know you have a suspect. ” He lowered his voice. “You think it’s Garrett, don’t you? That’s why you were asking me all those questions about him the other day. ”
Emma hesitated.
Thayer seemed to read her fears in her expression. He shook his head impatiently. “I’m not giving up on this. ” Grief flashed through his eyes, so raw she had to look away. His voice cracked. “Someone took Sutton away from me,” he said fiercely. “And I want that person to pay. ”
The pain in Thayer’s voice tore at me, fear and love warring for control in my heart. I wanted nothing more than for Thayer to stay safe, out of Garrett’s reach. But at the same time, the violence of his feelings sent a little thrill through me. Thayer loved me—and he wouldn’t let Garrett get away with what he’d done.
Emma clasped the swing chains, hanging her head with a sigh. A moment later Thayer crouched down next to her.
“Emma?” he prompted.
“Okay,” she finally said under her breath. “But don’t go doing anything stupid, Thayer. You can’t go after Garrett. You’ll end up in prison, or worse. ”
“I don’t care,” he shot back, his hands clenching against his thighs. She tugged hard at his sleeve, forcing him to turn and look at her.
“Sutton would care,” she said softly.
She was right. The image of Thayer in prison, staring at cinder block for the rest of his life, knotted my insides. But even worse was the possibility that Thayer could end up like me—murdered, lost to his friends and family forever.
Emma held Thayer’s gaze. “Promise me. For Sutton’s sake. ”
His jaw tightened, and he turned away from her. After a moment, he gave a short nod. She looked out over the tawny mountains, where fluffy clouds drifted against the deep blue. “Garrett was definitely in the canyon the night Sutton died,” she said softly, hugging her knees. “When the cops took me in for questioning I saw a security photo that showed his car in the parking lot. And Louisa mentioned that he came home in the middle of the night. She remembered it because he’d been so upset. Something really freaked him out. She thought that he and Sutton must have broken up. ”
Thayer remained perfectly motionless, but she could see the muscles in his shoulders tense.
“I don’t have a way to prove it, though. Everything is circumstantial. You didn’t see anything suspicious in the canyon that night, did you?” Emma glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Storm clouds were gathering across his face, grim and foreboding. A sudden fear dawned on her: What if she’d overestimated Thayer’s self-control? What if he couldn’t keep his promise? Before he’d gone into recovery, his temper had been almost as legendary as Garrett’s. The way he looked now, she wasn’t sure he wouldn’t run after Garrett and tear him apart right this moment.
“Besides the headlights heading straight for me? No. ” Thayer’s eyes narrowed. “So you think Garrett ran me down, too?”
Emma nodded, picking at one of the small distressed holes in her jeans. “He’s violent. At first I chalked it up to the breakup. But I think it goes deeper than that. ” She met his eyes. “Everyone keeps hinting about something that happened to Louisa, something really traumatic. Do you know what they’re talking about?”
Thayer blinked in surprise. “Yeah, I do. It was pretty fucked up. ”
My ears pricked. Thayer took a deep breath. “Last year, Garrett took Louisa to this party. It was almost kind of a joke—she was just this awkward, naïve little freshman. I think he got it in his head that he was going to initiate her into high school life or something. You know, get her drunk for the first time, introduce her to all his friends. But the party got really out of control. ” Thayer shuddered. “I was there. Not that I remember much of it—I was pretty blasted. Anyway, at some point in the evening Garrett lost track of Louisa. I guess at first he didn’t worry much. I mean, it was a party. He just assumed she was swimming or dancing or whatever. But after a while he started to panic. No one had seen her in hours, and people were starting to leave. He tore the place apart looking for her. Finally he ended up calling the cops. ”
Emma suddenly realized she’d been holding her breath, and took a deep gulp of air. A part of her knew what was coming and didn’t want to hear it—but she needed the truth.
Thayer’s eyes were distant and glazed when he spoke again. “They found her in the pool house, unconscious. Pretty badly beaten up. ” His lip curled in disgust. “She’d been raped. ”
“Oh my God,” Emma whispered. A queasy feeling spread through her body.
“They caught the guy,” Thayer continued. “His name was Daniel Preuss. He’d graduated by then, but he’d been on the soccer team. He was a really good friend of Garrett’s. ”
The memory rose up in me as Thayer talked. I hadn’t been at that party—it’d been the week of the state championship, and I’d been in Glendale with the rest of the tennis team. Garrett and Louisa had been out of school for a few weeks, but I remembered when he came back. He’d looked so vulnerable, so lost. That made it easy to ignore his mood swings, his temper tantrums—because after each violent flare-up, he looked so anguished. I’d made excuses for him every time.
But he’d been more broken than I’d realized. I pictured his face that night in the canyon, twisted into a mask of rage, the terrible things he yelled at me. How jealous he’d been that I was out there with Thayer. How he called me a slut for wearing shorts, his breath angry and hot with whiskey. He hated the fact that I’d wanted to sleep with him—and hated himself for wanting to sleep with me, too. What happened to Louisa shattered him, and he’d punished me for his own fear and self-loathing about not being able to protect her.
Emma’s stomach curled into a tight little ball inside her, her head spinning. “That’s . . . awful,” she breathed.
Thayer nodded. “Yeah. Garrett never really recovered. ”
In spite of everything, a twinge of pity shot through Emma’s chest. She couldn’t even imagine the kind of pain Louisa and Garrett had been through. Then again, she thought, the same thing had happened to her—someone had hurt her sister beyond belief, and she had to live with it. Sutton hadn’t deserved what happened to her any more than Louisa had.
She looked up to see Thayer watching her closely. “So you think what happened to Louisa made him snap?” he asked.
Emma sat up, straightening her legs out in front of her
. “Maybe. But it doesn’t matter, does it? He killed my sister, and I don’t care what his excuses are. He’s dangerous, and I have to find a way to prove it. ”
Thayer was silent for a long moment, studying her face.
“You know, you’re so much like her. ” He gave a sad smile. “Not just the way you look, I mean. When you get that determined gleam in your eyes, you remind me so much of her. ”
Emma found that she was leaning slightly against his shoulder, their arms just touching. She knew she should shift her weight, put more distance between them, but she couldn’t seem to move. For just a heartbeat, something magnetic pulled her toward Thayer.
“But I’m not her,” she said softly, forcing herself to move away. “And you have to keep your promise. I don’t know what I’d do if Garrett hurt you, too. ”
Thayer’s jaw clenched, and his hands curled into tight fists. But he took a deep breath and stood up, his eyes suddenly clear. “I promise. You know where to find me if you need anything . . . Emma. ” Then he turned and strode off toward his car.
I watched him go, hoping against hope that Emma had made the right choice in telling him—and hoping against hope that Garrett wouldn’t kill him, too.
24
GO GOOGLE YOURSELF
Emma drove back to the Landrys’ house slowly, reluctant to spend the day inside and alone. She cruised for a while past organic markets and upscale boutiques, decorated for Christmas with garlands and bows and twinkling lights. For a moment she contemplated going into the public library—she could go online, maybe do some research from there—but the memory of the reporters shouting her name made her shudder. Anywhere she went in public, she ran the risk of drawing down the press.
Soon the storefronts disappeared behind her, replaced by large, elegant homes and the Santa Catalina Mountains beyond. She turned into Ethan’s development and parked beneath the Landrys’ carport. Across the street the entrance to the canyon was still blocked off, police tape draped across the drive. She wondered if the investigators were over there even now, slowly sifting through the dirt. The skin on the back of her neck crawled like it always did when she glimpsed the bench where she’d waited for Sutton that first day. Sometimes it felt like the canyon had eyes.
Movement from across the lawn caught her eye. She paused as she climbed out of Ethan’s car, the keys frozen in her hand. Next door, Dr. Banerjee was shoving a battered suitcase into the hatchback of his car. It looked like there were already a bunch of bags piled haphazardly in the backseat. Nisha’s father still looked haggard, his eyes swollen in exhaustion, but he’d straightened himself up since she’d seen him last. His hair was combed, and he wore a button-down shirt that was wrinkled but clean.
As he climbed into the front seat of his car, Emma caught his eye. She lifted her hand to wave, taking a step toward him. For a moment she almost called out for him to stop—if Nisha had left evidence that Garrett had killed Sutton, Dr. Banerjee was the only person who could help her find it. Then she saw the look on his face. His eyes were hard slits, his mouth twisted in disgust. Her hand dropped limply back to her side. He thought she was a murderer—just like everyone else did. He backed out of his driveway, shaking his head slowly as he did. His lips moved like he was muttering to himself. Then he turned out onto the street and screeched away.