Opening the door, I mentally brace myself for what I might find. But there was no bracing myself for who I found on the doorstep .
It was, indeed, Michelle. Huddled inside a floor length coat the color of fog, she stood there shivering. Her long hair hung free to her shoulders and there were snowflakes in her hair. She looked...beautiful. Achingly, painfully beautiful, and I wanted to grab her, pin her to the wall and kiss her. Then I wanted to sink my dick inside her and promise her...anything. Whatever she wanted, I wanted to give it to her .
And she stood there, looking so beautiful in the dingy, dirty hall of my miserable apartment building .
Without thinking, I said the first thing that came to mind. "You don't belong here ."
She flinched, mouth parting slightly on a gasp .
I cursed myself inwardly and reached out to grab her arm in case she tried to leave .
"I don't mean it in a bad way. It's just...this is not exactly the nicest neighborhood." Ushering her inside, I dusted the snow from her coat .
"I...I..." Her teeth chattered. "I just wanted to see you for a few muh-minutes ."
She continued to shiver as I pulled her against me .
"I'm sorry, darlin'. I wasn't trying to be rude." I pressed my lips to her temple. "It's just this...hell, it's not the nicest place in the city." I had no idea what else to say .
"I had a taxi drop me off. It's not like I walked," she said, her voice muffled against my chest. "I just wanted to see you for a few minutes. I figured you'd end up wanting to cancel our date with the weather ."
I chuckled. "Here I was thinking that you'd be calling to cancel." I held her against me, easing away just long enough to push the coat open so it no longer posed a barrier. She sighed in pleasure and snuggled in closer .
"The authorities are warning people not to go anywhere unless they have to. They're talking like we might get several feet of snow. I wanted to see you before I got trapped in my apartment all weekend by myself." She smoothed her hands up and down my sides, tucking her face into my chest, her breath warm against my skin .
"So don't be by yourself," I said without thinking about the words. I was too busy taking in the feel of her against me .
"What?" she asked, staring and lifting her head to look up at me .
In for a penny, in for a pound. "Stay here. You and I can stay here. After all," I said, crooking a grin at her. "You already said the authorities don't want people out unless they have to be. I've got plenty of food and there's no reason the two of us can't be here together ."
"I wouldn't want to impose," Michelle said, but there was a glitter in her eyes .
"If you were imposing, I wouldn't have offered." Bending down, I kissed her. As I did so, I caught both her hands and squeeze them. "Stay." I whispered the words against her lips and held her there until she answered me .
"Okay." Her lips moved against mine too. "Okay," she said again. "I'll stay. After all, one should always listen to the authorities ."
I took her coat and placed it on the row of hooks behind the door. "Let me give you the grand tour." Turning to the single room studio apartment, I swept out a hand. "This is my home. It ain't much." I looked back at her, thinking of the sweet pad she had for herself, probably close to two thousand square feet, if I had to take a stab at it .
Mine was just over a quarter of that. I didn't have a separate bedroom, dining space or an office, and my bathroom was tucked into an area that would fit inside just one of her closets. I could afford better if I wanted, but I didn't see the point when I was rarely here. I didn't have my mind on a lot of material things anyway. Actually, up until recently, my mind had been on one thing, my mission .
Michelle wasn't looking around the apartment. She was looking straight at me. "Now that the grand tour is over, what are we going to do ?"
Unless I was mistaken, there was a slight innuendo in her voice. I decided I liked it. Taking one slow step at a time, I moved over toward her. Once I reached her, I close my hands over her wrist and guided them behind her back. There was a faint resistance and her eyes were wary, but there was no fear, so I lowered my mouth to hers .
"I can think of any number of ideas, sweet, sweet girl," I said just before stroking my tongue along her lower lip. She was so damned sweet, always so damned sweet. I'd known she would be, from the very first time I'd seen her and caught sight of that shy, nervous smile .
"What..." Her breath hitched, causing her breasts to rise and fall against my chest. "What kind of ideas ?"
"That would ruin the surprise," I teased, catching her earlobe between my teeth and tugging .
"Oh. I like surprises," Michelle murmured on a sigh. That sigh turned into a moan when I raked my teeth down her neck. The high sweater she wore barred much of her soft, pale skin from me, but I didn't let that bother me, nudging it out of the way with my chin as best as I could .
My cock pulsed in demand, and the need to give in was...strong. Her hands tugged against the grip I still held on her wrists, but she still didn't seem more than a little nervous, so instead of letting go, I tightened my grip...a little .
She gasped as I tugged on her wrists, forcing her spine to arch as I ran my lips back up her neck. Need grated inside me .
"Michelle?"
"Hmm?"
I pulled away from her. "Maybe we should eat. Otherwise we're not going to. At least not anytime soon. And you need energy for what I plan to do to you ."
Actually, I needed time to...calm my brain. No, calm my dick the hell down because, all of a sudden, I wanted to devour her in three greedy bites, and...no .
I had a plan, after all .
* * *
D inner didn't help much.
It was probably because cooking in my small kitchen area required the two of us to stand hip to hip, her body brushing against mine, which just made that beast of hunger rage even higher .
I did manage to get it calmed down – or at least leashed – reminding myself of everything she'd been through, and jumping on her like a ravening beast was out of the question .
For now .
I wanted her to trust me...needed it .
She's trusted you so far. Why are you going to treat her different now ?
That calm, rational voice continued to talk to me all throughout the meal and it was because of it that I decided to talk to her after we finished eating – instead of just boosting her up onto the sturdy little table that sometimes served as a desk. She could have been appetizer and dessert all in one, but...first ...
Placing my hands on her knees, I slid them up her thighs, moving them slowly upward until my thumbs almost met at the junction before gliding back down. I kept that up until she was arching her hips slightly, moving in to meet my touch – but I didn't grant it .
Not yet .
"Do you trust me?" I asked, keeping my voice calm. What we discussed next was going to set the course for the next few hours, maybe even the next few days...more .
Michelle blinked, clearly caught off guard. Then she shrugged, her eyes falling away. She didn't pull away, and that counted for a lot. Not as much as her words, though. She said in a voice just as calm as mine, "If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't very well be here alone in the apartment with you, now would I ?"
She looked back at me a few seconds after the last word left her lips and met my gaze head on, her cheeks colored just a few shades lighter than the rosy pink sweater she wore .
"It's not like trusting guys comes all that easy for me, you know," she said with another shrug, this one far less graceful than the first. "So...yes, I trust you. Some part of me has trusted you since the first time we met. Otherwise I never would have met you fo
r dinner that first time, or gone to the hotel room with you ."
The simple honesty was enough to lay me low .
"Why?"
She licked her lips, gaze falling away .
Grasping her chin, I guided her eyes back to mine .
"It's...complicated. And it's not. I..." She blew out a breath. "I know who I feel safe with. I have for a long time now. Ever since...ever since my uncle," she finished in a rush. "I can be walking down the street and feel safer stopping to give a couple of dollars to the old homeless guy on the street than the businessman who offers to buy me coffee two or three times a week ."
Something told me this wasn't just a made-up example, and I wanted to know where in the hell the businessman offered to buy her coffee .
"I know which guys are watching me and thinking I look like an easy mark and which ones are just wondering if I have a nice rack. Both are rude, but only one group of them are dangerous," she said, lifting her chin a little as she said it. "There's a kind of...look in their eyes. My uncle had it. Once you see it, you can't ever miss it. You...you don't have it ."
She paused, then added softly, "Besides...you've trusted me ."
"I...what ?"
"You told me things about you." She darted another look at me, but most of her attention was locked on the window. "You also mentioned that's what you do. Well, you need confidentiality. I guess it had to have taken some trust on your part to even talk to me, much less keep up with...this. If you can trust me a little, why can't I trust you too ?"
Humbled, I caught her face in my hands and pressed my mouth to hers .
"Yeah. I guess I did trust you, didn't I ?"
Her lips clung to mine, and I deepened the kiss, pushing my hand into her hair. I could do this now. Her words had helped soothe the beast of need inside me – it wasn't gone. It couldn't be gone. Not when she was sitting so close, and I could feel her need almost as acutely as I felt mine .
But I could talk to her...ask her .
If she said no, then she said no .
Slowly, I lifted my head. As I did so, I reached down and caught her wrists again, lifting first one, then the other to my mouth, pressing a kiss to the inside. "If you didn't trust me, I wouldn't ask. But since you do...there's something I want to try ."
Twenty-Two
Michelle
H is thumbs stroked over my inner wrists in a slow, almost mesmerizing pattern, and I decided I had to adjust my mental list of erogenous zones – the inner wrist had never once made it onto the list, but that would have to change now. Every time my pulse bumped against his thumb, it was like I felt the echo of it in my breasts, down lower in my core. A line connected those pulse points and the slow strokes against my wrists was drawing that line tighter and tighter .
"You shouldn't have any kind of bad memories tied to sex. I hate that all I did was hold you here..." He tightened his hand just the slightest, his eyes locked on my face. "And it sent you back ."
"No, it didn't!" But I protested too much. I could tell by the look in his eyes. "I mean...I'm fine right now ."
"You should be fine every time. When a man touches you, wouldn't you rather think of just him? Just pleasure ?"
"And how am I supposed to do that?" I challenged. "Erotic reconditioning ?"
He chuckled. "Does such a thing exist? I'll sign up." But then his face sobered. "Maybe you need new memories, something else to cling to that might blot out the ugly ones...something that can replace the dark ones ."
"What are you suggesting?" I asked warily, instinctively jerking my hands away from him and scooting back out of his reach .
"Do you trust me?" He bent forward over me, his bulk causing me to sway backward a little .
"I already told you yes ."
"Can I have your wrists ?"
Some wild, crazed part of me already knew what he was suggesting, and I was torn in two. A smaller, scared part wanted to shove him away. But the other part, the part that did trust him took control before I even made a conscious decision...and I found myself holding my hands out in front of me, tightening my belly muscles so that I stayed in position, half raised up as he bent over me .
"Thank you ."
All he did, though, was kiss my palms, one at a time, then lower them to the table beside me before guiding me back into a sitting position .
"We're going to...play," he said, pausing a bit before explaining. "If you decide you want to stop the game, you tell me. But you need to pick a word other than stop or no ."
Nervous now, I laughed a little. "What is this, some sort of D/s thing? Are we going to play Master May I ?"
"Do you want to?" he asked, sliding me a look from under his lashes. "We could start with something easy. Like, you could ask...master, may I take off my sweater... and work our way up to master, may I suck on your cock ?"
A punch of heat hit me so hard in the chest, for the next few seconds, it was almost hard to breathe .
"You like the sound of that, don't you ?"
"Ahhhh..." was about all I could manage as I tried to uncross my eyes. I was still untangling my tongue – and my mind – from the scalding hot image of me on my knees in front of him with my mouth open as he fed me his cock. I'd never done that, hadn't ever wanted to, until that very moment .
Jake's mouth closed over mine in a deep, almost bruising kiss that set my heart to racing. His hand rested on my throat, his thumb tucked into the hollow and his palm curved over the arch where I could feel my pulse slamming away. "You do," he growled against my lips. "I can see in your eyes, on your face...and you licked your lips like you were already tasting me there. Is that what you were doing ?"
"Yes."
The harsh groaning sound he made against my lips was so erotically charged, it had my nipples drawing into buds so tight, they hurt. Without thinking, I arched against him, shoving my breasts into his chest in an effort to ease the ache .
But Jake pulled away, his hands on my shoulders. "Before we go any further, you need to tell me your word ."
"My..." Shaking my head, I met his eyes. "I don't know...oh ."
"What's your word, Michelle ?"
Embarrassed now, and a little uncomfortable, I looked away from him. Fat, fluffy flakes of snow were falling from the sky and there was frost forming on the window of his apartment. Without thinking, I responded, "Frost ."
"Remember it," he said before shoving his hand into my hair and yanking, forcing my head back, my mouth up as his lips crushed into mine .
Remember it ...
Remember what ?
I could barely remember how to breathe when he was kissing me like this. The taunting, tormenting, deep kiss seemed to last forever as he tasted me, as he invited me to taste him, his tongue stroking over mine, exploring every corner and hollow of my mouth. Breathless, I moaned when he finally kissed a line to my neck, nuzzling that spot that seemed to light a fire in me. But his mouth barely grazed me, the sweater remaining a barrier while his hands toyed with the hem .
He seemed to like the way the rich, deep rose clung to my curves, and I really liked the way his hands kept wandering all over me, but I wanted it out of the way. Squirming a little closer, I waited for him to tug it off .
"If you want something, Michelle," he murmured into my ear, "you'll have to ask for it ."
I sucked in a breath and wondered if he had been serious about that Master may I thing .
"Are you expecting me to call you master?" I asked, not quite able to silence the nervous laugh that echoed in my voice
"No." His voice was rough. "I don't want to
be your master. I want to be your lover. I want to show you things you've never dreamed of, and I want to take away the fear that haunts your eyes. But I want you to ask for what you want. And I want you to beg for things you never even imagined .
"So, if you want me to do something, you need to ask...and the longer you wait, the longer it's going to take me to give you what you want ."
The sensual threat in his voice was so enticing, I wondered if it was meant to be a punishment or a promise .
But this was new territory, and I didn't know how to handle it. Instead of testing him, I whispered, "Will you take off my sweater ?"
Finally, his hands grasped the hem but before he started to drag it upward, Jake asked, "Why do you want me to take it off ?"
"I want you to touch me," I said, with no hesitation at all. I didn't even have to think about that response .
Jake snuggled his nose against my neck. "Good girl ."
As he dragged it upward, a shiver raced through me. It wasn't just because of the chill in the room although it was cooler than I liked. I couldn't describe all the emotions crashing through me. I was used to the rush of adrenaline and the thrill of desire he could bring me. Or at least I was becoming accustomed to it. Still, there was a new, erotic uncertain edge burning inside me, which was the root of my unease .
I couldn't say I was afraid. It wasn't fear inside me. But I certainly wasn't calm either .
At least I hadn't thought I was .
But then, just before the sweater could clear my head, he paused, leaving it in the perfect position to temporarily blind me. A thin edge of fear settled inside, and I had to wonder if I would be able to do this after all .
Blood roared in my ears, but over that thunder, I heard his voice, speaking to me, the words crashing together, making little sense, but steadying me .
There were levels of fear, something I'd learned long ago. I used to love riding roller coasters back before my uncle had burned all traces of the adrenaline chaser out of me .
Maybe some of what I felt was a newer, darker yearning for excitement, craving something wicked and unknown .