“Aubree, open up.” His voice had that quiet, authoritative tone that made me automatically move to obey .
I was half-way to the door before I even realized I'd moved. I stopped before I could unlock it. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I could do this. It wasn't personal. It was business. Once Cade understood that, he'd leave and we'd never see each other again .
I ignored the pang going through me at the thought. I opened the door and took a couple steps back. Without meaning to, I crossed my arms, hating myself for feeling so self-conscious .
Cade shut the door behind him. His face was blank as he turned toward me. “Would you like to explain why I received a voicemail from you canceling our contract, and then a call from Adelle canceling her session because you were upset I was seeing her?” His words were even and carefully devoid of any inflection .
“I didn't ask her to cancel her session,” I said .
“That wasn’t the question,” he said as he took a step toward me .
It was all I could do not to back up. There was a tension radiating from him and I could feel my body wanting to respond .
“Did I ever give you any indication that you were my only client? That we were somehow exclusive ?”
I shook my head. I needed to explain before he thought I was jealous. Ending our deal was one thing, but I didn't want him to be mistaken as to why I'd done it. It had to be very clear that I didn't have feelings for him. Because I didn't .
“I know you see other clients,” I said. “It wasn't that .”
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing me. “Then what was it ?”
He was starting to get that smug tone that was equal parts annoying and sexy. I scowled at him. “It was weird thinking of you fucking my best friend and then fucking me, okay? Comparing us.” The last two words came out before I could stop them. That was it, I knew, the main reason the idea of Adelle and Cade together had freaked me out. The truth .
“Comparing you .”
I lifted my chin. “Yes. Comparing us. Our bodies. How good we are in bed.” I forced the words out. “I've been friends with Adelle my entire life. I know what it's like to stand next to her, to have guy after guy walk past me to get to her. I shared a room with her in college, so I got an earful of her social life, okay? I know you'd been with her before, but it's different thinking you'll fuck me one day and her the next. I'll always be wondering how I measure up. If you're thinking about her –”
He closed the distance between us in two quick strides, his eyes blazing. “I told you before, I don't think of anyone else when I'm with you... with any client. And I never compare .”
I swallowed hard. “That’s bullshit. You’re a man, not a machine. Besides, I didn't say you'd do it on purpose, but I know Adelle.” My lips tried to curve into a smile, but didn't quite manage it. “And when we're next to each other, I'm not the one who stands out .”
“First of all.” Cade's voice was harsh. “Adelle won't be hiring me again until after I'm done with you .”
Done with me? I started to shake my head, to tell him it didn't matter now. We were done. I wasn't doing this anymore .
“And second,” he continued without even acknowledging my negative response. “I'm not done with you .”
Three
H is mouth was on mine and I was drowning in his kiss. He hadn't let me say anything after declaring he wasn't done with me. I’d barely had time to process the words. His lips came down with bruising force, taking my breath away, and his arms had wrapped around me, crushing me against his chest. When his tongue teased the seam of my mouth, I'd been unable to resist and parted my lips with a moan. I couldn't deny how my body responded to him .
When he pulled away, I was breathless and trembling, my knees weak. I expected him to let me go and distance himself, reminding me with his body language that this was professional. He wanted this because I was guaranteed repeat business for weeks. Adelle was an occasional fuck and she’d probably go back when he was done with me. I was a steady paycheck, at least for a while .
He kept one arm around me though, his hand at the small of my back. The other hand came around to push a few stray curls from my face .
“I don't compare you to anyone, Aubree,” he said. “There's no comparison .”
I blinked. What did he mean by that? Before I could ask, he was releasing me, his stance shifting .
“If you're drawn to a dominant man, he may feel the need to punish you from time to time, particularly when you do something that displeases him .”
My head spun as Cade switched into his teaching mode. What the hell ?
“If you're a submissive, you may even ask him to punish you.” His voice lowered. “You may need him to.” He undid the button on his jeans. “Or you may just wish to please him. Get down on your knees. It's time for you to learn a few things about using your mouth to get your partner off .”
I stared at him. How had we gone from that to this ?
“Aubree,” he said my name sharply. “Use your safe word to end this, or get down on your knees .”
I swallowed hard. I should do it, scream the safe word at the top of my lungs. I told him we were done and he'd refused to accept me as being serious. But, if I said 'red,' I knew he'd listen. We'd be finished and he'd walk out the door. Which was exactly what I wanted .
I opened my mouth to say the words and took a step toward him for emphasis. Then, all thought fled my mind and I sank to my knees before him. His eyes filled with heat and my stomach clenched as his pupils dilated with desire. He unzipped his jeans and pushed them down to mid-thigh, taking his boxer briefs with them. My pussy throbbed at the sight of him, already half-hard and bigger than average .
“You have a very talented mouth, Aubree.” Cade cupped my chin, tilting my head up so that I was looking at his face rather than his cock. He brushed his thumb across my lips, then pressed it inside my mouth .
I flicked my tongue across the pad of his thumb and then sucked on it. His fingers tightened on my chin and his eyes darkened .
“That's good, but there is more to a blow-job than a single piece of anatomy.” He pulled his hand back, moving it down to stroke his cock as it stiffened. “This isn't the only thing that enjoys the wet heat of your mouth.” He dropped his hands and cupped his balls. “We're going to work on your attention to these too. And we're going to see how much of me you can take .”
I nodded .
“Not today, but by the time we're done together, I expect you to be able to take me right down that pretty little throat of yours .”
Fuck. I bit my bottom lip. I didn't know if it was actually going to be possible, but when he said it like that, I definitely wanted to try .
His hands dropped to his sides and I took that as my cue. I started like I always did, running my tongue along every inch of him, circling the tip as I wrapped my hand around his base. He still wasn't fully erect, but he was big enough that my fingertips couldn't touch .
“A man's balls are just as sensitive as his cock,” Cade said. “Take them in your hand .”
I cupped them. The skin was softer than it looked, the texture smoother than what I expected. I'd felt them against my legs when having sex, and I was sure I'd brushed against them when I'd given Ronald a hand job or blow job, but this was the first time I'd deliberately paid direct attention to them .
“Use your mouth. Lick them, suck on them. All the things you do to my cock, do to my balls too .”
I bent my head, the angle awkward, but as soon as I ran my tongue along them, Cade moaned and I forgot about how uncomfortable the position was. I took one of his balls into my mouth, rolling it around on my tongue, feeling it shift and move within its sack. When I switched to the other one, I heard Cade mutter something that sounded like an encouragement, but I couldn't quite make out the words .
His hand rested on my head, his fingers massaging my scalp as if he was restraining himself from pulling my hair. I moved back up h
is cock, letting my hand take over on his balls as I paid attention to the thick shaft that was now curving up toward Cade's flat stomach. When I lowered my head, I took the first couple inches into my mouth, savoring the weight of him sliding across my tongue .
“That's it,” Cade breathed. “One hand playing with my balls while you suck my cock .”
The pleasure I heard in his voice spurred me on. I was glad he was pleased with what I was doing, but I'd have liked it even more if he hadn't been able to talk. I hollowed out my cheeks every time I pulled back, determined to prove I could make him lose control. I wanted it more than I wanted anything. To hear and see him come apart and know I was the cause .
He pressed down on my head, wordlessly encouraging me to take him deeper. I opened my mouth wider, ignoring the brief pop in my jaw. The head of Cade's cock reached the back of my tongue and I felt myself starting to gag. I pulled back, half-expecting him to shove me back down, but he didn't .
“Again,” he said. “Breathe slowly through your nose .”
I did as he said, concentrating on taking air in as his cock slid back into my mouth. This time, when I automatically started to gag, Cade's hand tightened in my hair. He held me just a split second longer than I would've stayed, not enough to make me panic, but enough to remind me who was in control. I coughed as he slipped out of my mouth .
“A partner who enjoys control may want to control the speed and depth of a blow-job.” Cade used the hand in my hair to tilt my head up. “But always remember that it is the illusion of control .”
I frowned at him, not understanding .
“It is your mouth that can make him come. Your hands holding one of the most sensitive parts of his body. It is an exercise in trust.” He brushed his fingers across my lips. “Now, make me come .”
I took his cock back in my mouth, wrapping one hand around the base and using the other to cup his sack. I used what he'd just taught me, taking him as deep as I could as my fingers rolled his balls. I sucked hard, letting the way his fingers twisted in my curls tell me what he liked. He swore and his cock twitched in my mouth .
“I'm close,” he warned me and I knew he was giving me a choice of where I wanted him to finish .
It wasn't a choice, really. I'd known what I wanted from the first moment I'd seen him. I’d known then that I wanted to feel him come in my mouth. I could feel his balls tightening, ready to empty, and I went as far as I dared, fighting the urge to gag as more than half of him filled my mouth. I couldn't hold it for long, but it was enough .
Cade's fingers curled into a fist, pulling my hair hard enough to hurt, but I ignored the pain and focused on swallowing every last drop as he climaxed. A stream of obscenities spilled out of his mouth as I sucked and licked the sensitive piece of flesh in my mouth until he was pulling me away, breathing hard. I looked up at him, desire flaring sharply at the near-wild look in his eyes .
He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me to my feet. One hand cupped the back of my head, holding me in place as his mouth covered mine. He thrust his tongue between my lips, twisting around mine. His other hand pushed under the waistband of my pants and underwear. As his fingers roughly parted my folds, I moaned, my hands fisting in his shirt. A finger rubbed against my clit, almost too hard and I cried out. He swallowed the sound, then nipped at my already swollen lips. He rested his forehead against mine, panting with his need for air. As his fingers dropped lower, two slid inside me .
“Fuck.” I closed my eyes, giving myself over to the pleasure spreading through me .
“Never.” His voice was low and fierce. “Never let anyone make you feel like you're less than who you are .”
A small whimper fell from my lips as he ground his palm against my clit. My legs shook as a thousand sensations trilled through me .
“Do you hear me, Aubree ?”
I nodded, unable to speak. I was pretty sure only my grip on his shirt was keeping me from falling. That and his hand between my legs .
“Good girl,” he said. “Now come.” He curled his fingers and pressed against my g-spot. “Come.” He rubbed in a small circle as he scraped his teeth along my jawline .
I did .
I came with a shudder, silently, wordlessly, my body too overloaded with all that had happened to process anything as complex as sound. The hand on my neck dropped to my back, holding me as his fingers continued to slide in and out of me, drawing out my orgasm until I wasn't sure I could take anymore .
When he pulled his hand from my pants, my legs almost gave out and I had to lock my knees in order to stay in a standing position. I took a step back, leaning against my table as I focused on regaining my breath. Cade pulled up his pants, tucking himself back inside before zipping up. His eyes met mine as he raised his hand and slowly licked the fingers that had been inside me. My stomach contracted almost painfully as I watched .
“We're not done until I say we're done,” he said. He turned to go, saying one more thing before closing the door behind him. “I'll be in touch .”
Four
W hen I walked into the café late Monday morning to meet Adelle for lunch, I had a much different attitude than when I'd last talked to her. Cade’s confrontation made me realize that while there was an element of being justifiably upset, my emotional upheaval had more to do with my own personal insecurities. And those were something Adelle could never be responsible for .
“Hi,” she said nervously as I approached the table .
When I smiled, I saw the relief cross her face. I sat across from her and placed my usual order with the waiter who came by just a few seconds later. This was my usual go-to place when I didn't feel like making a meal, so they knew me pretty well .
“So, how do you want to do this ?”
I didn't think I'd ever seen Adelle look so uncomfortable, so out of her element. As long as I'd known her – which was as long as I could remember – she'd been this confident, unstoppable force. It was that, the uncertainty in her eyes that raised my resolve to make sure we worked this out. There was no doubt our fighting was hurting us both .
“How about no bullshit?” I said bluntly. Her eyes widened slightly and I understood why. While I was a generally honest person, I also tried to be tactful. When she nodded, I continued, “I wasn't jealous. I mean, I'm not jealous. I know Cade has other clients. It wasn't that. Part of why I was so hurt…” I paused, exhaling the pain the words wanted to bring back. I needed to think with the rational side of my brain, not the side that wanted to scream and throw a tantrum. “I was hurt because you didn’t realize or care that I’d be upset for you to hire Cade while he and I were still sleeping together. Plus, you were clearly hiding it from me .”
I paused as the waiter brought out our salads and water. We ordered the same thing without thinking about it, a reminder of how connected I'd always thought we were .
“That's one of the reasons I was so angry with you when I found out what Cade was, too.” I picked up my train of thought. “Did you really know me so little that you thought I'd actually want you to pay someone to have sex with me?” I ignored the irony of how I'd ended up doing just that. “It was more about how you seemed to think I'd be okay and accepting with all of it .”
She reached across the table and put her hand over mine. “I am so sorry, Bree. I do know you better than that. I was just thinking of what I wanted instead of you .”
I covered her hand and let us have a moment before I continued with my confession. She deserved to hear it all. “It wasn't all your fault,” I said. “A big part of the blame is mine, especially this last time .”
She gave me a puzzled look, but didn't ask me to explain. She knew I would .
“The reason I was freaked out by the idea of you and Cade sleeping together while he and I were still having sex is because I was scared he'd compare me to you .”
The look on her face was real. She was surprised, shocked even, to hear this confession. I could tell she'd never had a clue how things had always bee
n for the two of us. I had to smile at that. She was completely confident in who she was and how she looked, but she'd never seen herself as more desirable than me .
“That doesn't matter.” I waved my hand dismissively, while her open mouth continued to find words of rebuttal. “The point is, I was upset with you for something that was, in large part, my issue. Not yours. And I'm sorry I took it out on you .”
Adelle got up and walked around to where I was sitting. She crouched down and wrapped her arms around me. “Let's never do this again, okay?” She sniffled. “This has been awful, having you mad at me .”
I nodded and felt my own eyes welling up with tears. I'd decided to be with Cade because of how my friends treated me, but I could see now that I was partially responsible too. And none of it was worth losing my friends over. “Never again .”
Her arms tightened around me for a moment, and then she stood up. She wiped at her eyes as she went back to her seat and I took a moment to compose myself as well. After a few seconds of silence between us, Adelle took a bite of her salad and looked thoughtfully at her glass of water. “Do you think it's too early to order wine with lunch ?”
I chuckled and the tension between us disappeared as if it hadn't ever been there to begin with. By the time I left the café, the weight I'd been carrying since the end of August was gone. Adelle and I were okay. Cade was still going to teach me. And I was going to show everyone that I wasn't who they all thought I was .
When I went back to school on Tuesday, more than one of my students commented on how much happier and more relaxed I looked. Even the other teachers noticed and I got quite a few knowing looks from the staff. Well, knowing in the sense that they suspected I had a new man in my life. Mindy was the only one who knew the whole truth .
By the time Wednesday came around, I found myself wondering if it was the sex that had made the difference… or the companionship. I constantly found myself thinking about Cade, which was nothing new. From the moment he'd rescued me from that horror of a date, I'd been unable to stop thinking about him. The thing was, it was less and less the sex that popped into my mind. More often, I found myself thinking about his smile, the way his hair fell across his face. The artwork in his loft and the way he'd talked about the painting at the gallery .