Chapter Nineteen
Alec didn’t know what the hell he was doing here, on Jaya's porch, about to do his best Say Anything impression. It would only pique his frustration levels, and that was the last thing he needed. But here he was on her door-step, trying to decide if he should knock or not. What he should have been doing was sitting at home working on Max’s return and responding to his latest job offer. Bane's Technology just emailed him with a plum of a job. It was right up his alley—Interim CEO for a two-month stint. In planning for their merger, they’d fired their old CEO and needed someone to drive the whole company towards the merger.
So what was his problem? For starters, he didn’t like Jaya factoring in his decision. Second, it was killing him that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her since the other night at the rehearsal. Worse than that, she hadn’t called. The way she’d looked so vulnerable had nearly broken his heart. And he only had two more days before the board of directors would call the authorities and Max would officially be a wanted man. Alec actually had shit to do if he was going to keep it all afloat.
But instead of focusing on what was important, he was here, on her doorstep. Maybe she was right about him. He’d always told Mimi he couldn’t be tied down, but the truth was he’d never tried to stay. He'd obeyed Mimi’s rules and stuck around until he went to college, but the moment he had no obligations, he’d been off. Maybe he was just running away like Max did. Maybe he was no different.
He shook his head. No. He was different, he told himself. He never hurt anybody. Except Mimi. Except Jaya.
As he paced a raw patch in Jaya's welcome mat, he had a good idea about what was niggling at his brain. He'd known Jaya for less than two weeks and he was already sprung like a school kid with his first crush. He'd been unable to get any of his work done. He'd sat in for Max on the Board of Director’s meeting, but fat lot of good that did. They wanted to speak to Max. And good for Adele. She hadn’t protected his brother. She’d been clear and concise about Max’s culpability. But now he only had another two days to find his brother, or there would be police involvement.
He ran his hands through his hair. What was wrong with him? He couldn’t focus on his family or on his future prospects. He should have already replied to the Bane’s Technology job. It was a no-brainer. The money was great—kind of obscene, actually. And it would give him freedom for at least another six months if he wanted to make the trek through Africa happen.
Only problem was, it was in Boston. Three thousand freaking miles away from Jaya. His brain had already pushed his emotional centers toward rationality, worked all the rational scenarios. He'd only known Jaya for a couple of weeks. It was supposed to be all about sex. Exceptionally hot sex that he would consider cutting his own arm off to have again, but it wasn’t like he was in love with her. She and her damn lists. So stubborn. None of those arguments mattered, because here he was, acting like a moron. Pacing. And pissed off at himself for needing her.
Damn it. Make up your mind, man. He either needed to knock or get the fuck out of here because the neighbors probably thought he was stalkerazzi.
He lifted his hand to knock but didn’t manage it before she opened the door. As soon as she saw him, her eyes widened and his name came out in a soft breath. It was all he could do to keep his inward groan silent, but something inside him roared. He wanted her. And it wasn’t just the sex. Though he knew he'd die if he didn't feel her against him again. But he just needed her. He wanted someone to talk to, to laugh with. Fuck. He sounded like a sap.
It took him several moments to realize she was speaking. “Alec. Earth to Alec. What are you doing here? I thought you were working today?” She waved a hand in front of his face. In her other hand she held a bag of cans. Probably headed for the recycling bin down the hall. He tried to speak, but no words came forth. After all what could he say? Instead, he moved.
Grabbing her hand he pulled her back through her door. She had on a white sundress with butterflies and simple white canvas slip-on shoes. She tried tugging her hand free, but he held fast.
“Alec, what the hell are you doing?”
He didn’t answer her and ignored the litter of cans in her foyer, tugging her through her living room to the balcony. Could he tell her how he felt?
Jaya wiggled and squirmed in his grasp. “Alec, you can’t just show up and not say anything and then drag me around. You don’t have to do the Conan the Barbarian routine. Or at least if we’re going to play Conan, let me get the right outfit for this adventure.”
Shit. She was right. He was acting like a total ass. He also tried not to picture her in some scrap of rawhide leather, pretending to be Conan’s conquest. Granted, this was more of the real him than he ever showed.
Pausing, he drew in a deep breath, unaccustomed to giving apologies.
“I’m sorry about the other night. You were right. I am choosing to leave. But I’m telling you the truth when I tell you that you make me think about staying.”
She winced. “I’m sorry about that. I was totally raw from my conversation with Dad. Here’s the thing. We had an arrangement. You should want to stay because of you, not because of me.”
A smile tugged at his lips. He did like direct women. “It’s more than that. I—” Shit, what was he doing? Apologizing for who he was? “I…” His voice trailed off. He tried again. I’m afraid of how much I need you. “We have two days. I—” He couldn’t finish the thought.
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
Alec shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, I’m good. I just needed to see you. And say I’m sorry.” If that wasn’t the understatement of the century. “And I’m sorry for barging in like this.”
She held her arms out to the sides. “You’re seeing me.”
Damn, she really wasn’t giving him any rope. Well, here I go then. “I missed you. And I’ve been pretty useless the last couple of days. No one’s offered to make me a list to get my life in order in over forty-eight hours. I’ve been missing it.”
She grinned. “I do make an excellent project plan. Especially now that I have my software.”
Just the mere mention of the software reminded him of how they’d retrieved it. His cock bulged behind his jeans. Clearing his throat, he spoke. “Do you trust me?”
Her eyes narrowed instantly. “Define ‘trust.’”
And there it was. The underlying reason why being anywhere near her was a challenge. “Do you trust me to not do anything to hurt you?”
This time she just cocked her head and folded her arms over her chest.
Okay. She had a point. “Let me amend that. Do you trust me to help you with your list? I had an idea of how to cross something else off.”
He noticed the pink flush on her cheek bones. The moment she gave him her slow nod, he continued tugging her to the balcony. As soon as she realized where they were headed, she tried to release her hand. “I don’t know what you have planned, but have you forgotten the balcony is completely exposed to the doorman’s office?”
He let his smile speak for him. The look on her face as dawning hit was priceless. Her lips formed a small “O” and her cheeks went pink again. His own skin felt tight. He needed to be with her. He didn’t care where. Floor, bed, couch. Didn’t matter to him. Most of him would prefer no one watch them. But he wasn’t here for himself. He wanted to fulfill a fantasy of hers. Something to cross off her list. And if he was good for nothing else, he was her personal adventurist.
Pulling her to him, he kissed her long and deep pouring out every emotion into her. He tried pulling her through the doorway to the balcony, but her feet rooted to the floor.
“What’s wrong?” He searched her face for some clue that he’d done something wrong.
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to go on the balcony. I just need to psych myself up.”
Nodding solemnly, he bent and traced kisses along her jaw. “Allow me to help.” Opening the
sliding glass door, he tugged her through onto the balcony. Under the awning, there was a perfunctory patio table with two chairs and the canvas bench he’d noticed the last time he was here.
Carrying her to the ledge nearest the doormen’s office, he gently placed her down, giving her drugging kisses designed to make her forget her name and where she was. When she moaned against his lips and dug her fingers in his hair, he forgot all about who may or may not be watching. All he knew was that he already loved her. And it terrified him.