She looked at him as if he’d left his mind back in the hospital. “You’re tickling my wrist, and you’re asking me if I feel anything. Of course I do. What are you on about?”
“The weird part in all this is that since the dream I can see shackles on some people’s wrist and ankles.”
Shock crept into her voice, “Are you saying that you can see them on me?”
Jason hesitated, “Yes. I take it you don’t.”
He had offended her, he could tell. Pulling her hand away from him, she examined her wrists. “Let’s pretend for a moment that you are sane, and what you are seeing is real. What does it mean?”
Jason chose his words carefully, “There’s a verse in the Bible that says something like ‘He whom the Son sets free shall be free indeed.’ Maybe you need to consider giving your life to Jesus. He died so that you can have eternal life.”
Rebecca was shaking her head and wagging her finger in his face at the same time. “No-no-no. I’ve done that. I belong to Him inside and out. It was all part of our deal, and He’s kept His end of the bargain most wonderfully and I fully intend to keep my mine. So that’s not it. I think you need your eyes tested.” She pulled away from him and studied her wrists furiously, turning them this way and that. “Or your head read. Maybe both.”
In a flash Jason understood, “Hear me out. There are many different areas of freedom. Giving your life to Him, accepting the price He paid on the cross and believing is the biggie. That’s freedom from death. You and I have both experienced that.”
Rebecca nodded, but her arms were now folded tightly across her chest, wrists tucked self-consciously in her armpits.
“But any area or situation for that matter, which you are struggling to overcome, is simply because you do not know the Truth about that situation. Or to put it differently, what does God say about it?”
Her head was still shaking, “Great, I agree with you. The only problem is there’s nothing that I’m really struggling with.” She shrugged, “Seriously.”
Wondering how far he should push, Jason said, “Okay. Let’s go down to the beach for a walk.”
Immediately Rebecca’s breathing quickened. Jason could see the pulse in her neck fluttering and a thin sheen of perspiration broke out on her forehead.
“Why are you doing this to me?”
Given unction by the Almighty, words flowed out of him, “Being scared of the sea, given your history, is not the problem in itself. But, it’s a symptom of something deeper that you can be free from. The lie that you have believed, has to be replaced by real truth. Only then will you experience true freedom and life.”
“You’re making my head spin. Spit it out. What are you trying to say?”
“Deep inside, you don’t believe that you are worth God’s attention. You think you don’t deserve His love, His presence or His protection. That’s where the fear comes from. If you’re not sure that you’re worth all that much to Him, how can you trust that He’ll be there to save you the next time you’re in trouble?”
Swiped sideways by his statement, Rebecca was stunned to hear what was brewing in the pit of her being. Something so deep, she hadn’t even known it was there.
Her lips were trembling as she asked, “So what now?”
“Now we’re going to find out the Truth about your trouble and allow the Holy Spirit to perform spiritual surgery to remove the cancerous lies that are eating away at your freedom.”
Chapter 33 – An Old Song
For the first time in many, many years, Jason spoke to his Father in front of someone else. “Father, would You come and replace the lies that are ruling Rebecca’s life with Your Truth. Thank You Lord!”
It felt strange praying in front of Rebecca, but it also felt right. Not looking at her, he picked up the Bible and started paging. “I only remember about three verses from Sunday school and this is one of them.” Opening to 1 John chapter 4 verse 9, he read, “This is how God showed His love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.’ Even if you were the only person on earth, God would still have done it – that’s how much he loves you. Give me some paper.”
With a grin, Rebecca handed over her notebook. Jason flipped to an open page and wrote across the top in bold letters:
LIE NUMBER ONE – God doesn’t love Rebecca.
Taking a red pen, he drew two lines threw the statement, and wrote 1 John 4:9 on top of it, then continued underneath.
LIE NUMBER TWO – God won’t protect Rebecca.
Rebecca looked unconvinced.
Jason shrugged as if it were obvious. “If you’re scared of the sea, it means that deep down you don’t feel that God is big enough to keep you safe from it. He’s saved you miraculously twice, but I can see in your eyes that you’re not entirely sure He would do it again. Like you’ve pushed your luck and now He’s going to ignore you.”
Rebecca’s sigh was the only acknowledgement Jason got that he was spot on.
He turned to Romans 8 and read from verse 38, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,” Jason couldn’t help grinning at her, “will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Again he drew two lines and wrote the scripture across the lie.
Rebecca sat silent in amazement, astounded by Truth she’d never heard before.
Looking her in the eye, he continued, “According to the dream and what God says, you’ve heard the stuff. Now we need to go do the stuff.”
Less than convinced, Rebecca asked, “What are you saying?”
“Take off your shoes and grab your coat. We’re going for a walk.”
“Jason, I really don’t think that’s necessary. I’ll be fine really.”
As he spoke, he knew that he was hearing the Spirit nudging his insides. “God wants you to do this Rebecca. Do you want to be free or not?”
Without another word, she stepped out of her shoes and got her coat.
***
It took a while for their eyes to adjust to the thick blackness under the moon shade of the tall trees outside. Following the twisting path through the bushes at the bottom end of Stanton’s garden, they made their way slowly down to the beach. The roar of the sea grew louder with each step.
Fighting the old rising panic, Rebecca clung to Jason’s hand. “I don’t think I can do this.”
He faced her tenderly. “Nothing can separate you from His love. Sing with me.” Leading her on by the hand, he started singing. The tune was wobbly and the key a little off, but the words were Truth, “Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so.” Here he changed the words to fit the occasion, “All of us to Him belong, we are weak but He is strong.”
Drawn from the deep recesses of her orphanage days, the song came alive in Rebecca as she joined her voice with Jason’s, “Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so.”
They started again, louder this time. Their feet left the path and found beach sand. Caught up in the simple song, Rebecca didn’t notice.
“Jesus loves me when I’m good. When I do the things I should. And He loves me when I’m bad. Though it makes Him very sad.”
Moonlight sparkled on the ocean and icy water tumbled around their ankles. Gasping at the cold, Rebecca kept singing and worshipping completely unaware that the fear was gone.
Chapter 34 – Beginnings and Endings
It was a perfect day for being on the beach. An Eastern Cape bergwind infused the cold of winter with mid-summer warmth, which usually lasted a day or two, before plunging the area back to freezing. The temperature of the surf was still a few degrees below what the average person would dare to venture into, but true to the hardcore nature of a surfer, Shane was determined to give Tim and Kenneth their first surfing lesson.
Eager to spend some time
alone with Rebecca, Jason had declined Shane’s offer. This had loosed a spate of ridicule from the guys in which the words “wimp” and “chicken” featured strongly.
Brushing them off happily, Jason settled onto the warm sand next to Rebecca.
“How are you settling in at Stanton’s?”
“Amazingly. He and Lisa have been so kind. I can’t believe I’ve been there a week already.” Her nose wrinkled, “It doesn’t feel like home yet. I suppose it will take time.”
Jason’s fingers traced patterns in the fine sand around his feet. “Any wedding bells for the two of them?”
“Definitely. They’re just settling on a date. Stanton’s no longer housebound. Apparently I was responsible for getting him out the house for the first time in years.”
“You are a very useful young lady, I hope you’ve noticed.”
She rolled her eyes at his compliment. “I don’t know how to thank you for the other night. I didn’t think it was possible to conquer that fear.”
Jason shook his head, “It’s sounds clichéd, but don’t thank me. Thank Him. I just heard right for once.”
“I know that. But you had the courage to listen at the risk of upsetting me. Thanks.”
“I’ll accept that.” He changed the subject, “And Claude?”
“He’s responding well to the treatment. The Rochester’s have relocated down here temporarily so that they can see him as often as possible. Kenneth will be going back within this week to oversee the farm in their absence and also to keep Hazel out of mischief.”
Jason smiled at her joke, studying her profile, drinking in her loveliness. “Rebecca, aren’t you angry with Claude at all? He put you through so much.”
“Left to myself, I would surely hate him, but God showed me something that changed everything.” Staring into the waves, her eyes lost focus. “I saw who he was as a little boy. Once you understand where someone comes from, it’s easy to forgive, no matter what they’ve done. It’s like Jesus. He came down here and lived with us so that He could fully understand what we go through. Because He understands, He can also forgive. Understanding brings forgiveness.”
“That’s profound. Even more so because you’re actually living it.” Something she said needled him. “Did you say that you saw him as a little boy?”
She pressed her lips together and nodded, “I suppose it was a vision or something. Do you think I’m crazy?”
He laughed. “Far from it, my dear. You haven’t heard my story.”
“Jason? Is that you?” A bikini clad girl with waist length auburn hair stopped in front of him, cutting him off before he could elaborate. Squinting up into the sunshine, Jason recognized Tina and stood up to hug her.
“Hey Tina! Good too see you.” Reaching down, he helped Rebecca to her feet. “Tina, this is Rebecca. Rebecca, this is the Tina that I told you about. The one who helped me find you.”
Tina greeted Rebecca with somewhat less enthusiasm than she had Jason.
Just then Tim returned from his surfing lesson, lips blue from the cold. “Surfing is for the birds, or more accurately, the mentally deranged.” Towelling off, he continued to berate the sanity of his mates without the customary self-consciousness that descended on him in the presence of females.
With a helpless shrug, Jason grabbed Tim by the arms and turned him around to face Tina. “Tim, meet Tina.”
“Oh my gosh.” was all Tim could manage.
Tina chuckled, and held out a hand, “It’s nice to meet you too. What do you do?”
Tim was staring at Tina, not capable of answering. Jason filled in for him, “Tim is an Information Technology Honors student.”
“Really? I’m busy doing a first year IT course through correspondence. It’s really tough not having a lecturer to ask when I get stuck.”
Tim miraculously found his voice, “You’re studying IT? Incredible. I’d be happy to help, if you ever need someone to explain stuff.”
Tina’s eyes sparkled, “Actually, I’m pretty stuck on this one section in Systems Analysis. Do you mind if I ask you?”
They walked off down the beach, Tim more animated than Jason had ever seen him.
Jason sat down and wrapped a towel around himself to ward off the breeze that had picked up. “What do you know? I was beginning to wonder if Tim would ever talk to a girl, let alone find common ground with one.”
Rebecca flopped onto the sand next to him, “Stranger things have happened. So are you going to tell me how you came to find me?”
“First I need to ask you something.” Still tracing patterns in the sand, he threw her a sidelong glance to check her response.
“Ask away.”
“Tell me about yourself and Kenneth.”
“There’s nothing to tell. Why?”
“The way he’s been carrying on, one would swear the two of you are an item.”
Completely taken aback, Rebecca snorted, “Oh please! He’s really like an overprotective big brother.”
“I don’t think he’d agree with you.”
“That’s his issue not mine. My turn.”
“Go for it.”
“You’ve got a photo of a beautiful young woman in your bedroom. Who is she?”
“That is my little sister Nicole. She died of Leukaemia.” He swallowed hard and for once didn’t care about the dampness in the corner of his eyes.
“I’m so sorry. I thought—never mind.” Before the moment could get awkward, she asked again, “So, now are you going to tell me your story?”
“My dear Rebecca. My story is going to take a very, very long time to tell.” Looking up from the sand, he locked her pale blue-eyed gaze with an intensity that probed deeper than the superficial comment he’d just passed.
She returned his look, connecting them on a level far deeper than the words they exchanged, “That’s okay, Halloway. I’m not going anywhere.”
Liquid satisfaction flowed through his insides. “Good.”
They both felt the warm smile of the One who had drawn them together in such a strange way.
Wrapping his towel clad arm around her, he drew her close and began, “It all started the day I was exploring an old shipwreck just off the coast near here…”
###
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Thanks!
Di
About Dianne J. Wilson
Dianne J. Wilson is a writer from East London, South African. Her freelance writing has paid some of the bills for the last decade, but fiction is her true passion. Being a wife and mom to three girls keeps her from getting lost in the adventures inside her own head.
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