She had also confided to Rachel that she had decided to stay in Treepoint and finish her classes on the internet. Lily was enjoying feeling more comfortable in the world, and she didn’t want to go back to the insecurities of college life.
She couldn’t admit that she would miss everyone too badly if she left, though. She had become used to spending her Saturdays with Rachel, and she liked spending her days at the factory. Georgia was the only fly in the ointment. Her hostility had increased as she witnessed the strengthening friendship between Lily and Shade.
Lily’s mind shied away from the mere mention of an actual relationship with Shade, but their friendship had certainly developed. He had spent the last few weekends with her at her house when Beth and Razer had been at the club.
She was so happy that Lily felt as if the weight of her fears was slowly dissolving.
Her favorite music came on the sound system while she was finishing warming up when Shade came downstairs.
“Sorry, there was something I needed to take care of.”
“No problem,” Lily said, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. “What are we going to work on today? Do you want me to try to knee you again?” Her eager face was lit up with excitement.
“You seem anxious to take my dick out of commission.”
Lily laughed, her eyes twinkling. Usually this was a side of herself that only Beth saw, but Shade had proven his gentlemanly behavior over time, and she now felt comfortable enough to be herself around him.
“We’re going to work on something different today,” he said, moving her closer to the wall at the end of the mat. “I want you to try to get out of a specific type of hold. For instance, if you’re getting into your car and someone comes up behind you.”
Lily nodded.
“You ready?”
“Yes.”
“Turn around.”
Lily innocently turned around, clueless as to what he was about to do. As Shade moved closer to her, pressing his body against her back, Lily’s hand automatically went to the wall to keep herself from being pressed against it, leaving her helpless. She began to panic but managed to calm herself down.
One of her arms left the wall on instinct, going back to try to push him away, and his hand caught her wrist, holding it captured against her lower back. Her other hand automatically went back and it was captured also, leaving her defenseless, pressed flat against the wall.
His lower body was flush against her butt, making her feel surrounded. Her breathing escalated and her mind started to shut down. She went limp, about to pass out. Shade stepped back, and helplessly, she started to slide down the wall.
Shade took her arm, leading her to the corner, and left her there to stand alone. She stood, gasping for breath, her hands going to her head, fighting the darkness descending on her terror-filled senses.
“Hands to your side. Stand up straight. Lily, by now you should know how I want you to stand.” Shade’s hard voice had her correcting her posture, her shoulders straightening as her hands obediently went to her side. Regulating her breathing, she focused on Shade as he took a drink of his bottled water before he went to the weights and began working out, ignoring her.
Lily wanted to be angry at him for ruining her good mood. She resented him throwing her into a panic attack.
“Lose the attitude, Lily, or my hand is going to be on that bouncy butt.”
Lily was shocked that he’d threatened her with physical violence. She had never expected him to lay a hand on her in a personal way.
Shade was sitting on the weight bench with his arm frozen in position at her look of shocked horror. “I didn’t say I would beat you, Lily. But I will smack that ass if you don’t behave.” His blue gaze stared into hers.
Lily gasped, turning her eyes toward the wall.
“Eyes forward,” Shade said, continuing his arm curls.
Lily’s eyes snapped forward as she attempted to pacify her tumultuous emotions. The shock of him saying that he would smack her butt had her forgetting the feeling of being held against the wall. As she calmed, she was able to start looking at the situation objectively. It took a long time for Lily to work through how dangerous that hold was and why she needed to learn to get out of it. She even realized where she had screwed up.
“I shouldn’t have reached back,” she said out loud.
“No,” Shade answered.
Lily took a step forward.
“Are you ready to go back to the mat?”
“Yes,” Lily said determinedly, leaving the corner.
“Turn around.”
Lily took a deep breath then, meeting his gaze briefly, she turned around. This time, when Shade grabbed her, pushing her against the wall, she braced herself with her arms.
“What do I do next?” Lily’s voice trembled at feeling his body pressed against her own. She felt the panic attack coming; however, she forced herself to listen to his directions. She did exactly as he told her, and while her movements were too timid to work, she knew that if they practiced she could break his hold.
Shade released her. “Enough?”
“Yes.” Lily turned around, sliding away from him.
“We’ll work on that until you get it right. You need to learn how to defend yourself when someone comes up behind you. Men who attack women are confident that you’ll panic, that you’ll be too startled to be able to defend yourself.”
“I’ll work on it until I get it right.” Lily was going to prove to him that she could break that hold.
“I know you will. You’re learning fast. I’m proud of you,” Shade complimented.
Lily took his praise to heart. “Thank you, Sir.” Lily reached out and hugged him. She hugged Beth all the time; it was part of her personality to show her affection. “I really appreciate all your help.”
Lily turned away from him, missing the hungry expression on his face.
“I’ll get changed.” Lily walked away, so happy that she hadn’t panicked twice. She was learning to be more capable of defending herself. For a woman who had a history of misadventures, it was a big thing for her to become more confident in the world around her instead of seeing ghosts around every corner.
Lily didn’t take long to change; she would shower when she got home, and Shade was waiting for her in the other room when she came out. The noise coming from upstairs was even louder than normal as she made her way across the room. Her eyes traveled up the steps to the closed door.
“It sounds like a football game is going on up there,” she remarked.
“Several of the brothers from Ohio are down for the weekend.”
“Oh.” Lily tried not to sound disappointed, certain that with his friends visiting that Shade wouldn’t hang out with her this weekend. She had gotten used to having him around.
She had talked to Charles, telling him as gently as possible that he was a friend, and would always remain just a friend. He had taken it well, but Lily believed that he hoped she would eventually change her mind. She wouldn’t, and since she had told him, she didn’t feel right asking for him to spend time with her. She had the sinking feeling that it was going to be a lonely weekend.
Shade was walking her out the door when his cell phone rang. He listened for a minute before he replied to whoever had called.
“Give me five. I need a shower and to get changed.” He then disconnected the call.
“You go ahead,” Lily told him, not wanting to keep him from his fun.
“You sure?”
“My car is just around the corner,” Lily said dolefully.
“All right. I’ll see you later,” Shade said, going back inside.
“Bye.”
Lily walked down the path toward her car, checking her text messages to see that Beth had left her one saying that she and Razer had left for the party early and that they would see her tomorrow. She saw Razer’s bike already parked in the almost-full parking lot.
She placed her bag in the backseat of her car and wa
s about to get inside when a car swerved into the parking lot. Lily recognized it instantly. Leaving her car door open, she saw Miranda getting out of her car, slamming her door shut before going up the steps to the house.
“Miranda!” Lily yelled, drawing her attention.
Miranda didn’t stop. Lily ran after her, catching her halfway up the steps.
“What’s going on?” Lily asked, taking her arm.
“Don’t you dare talk to me, Lily, after you have lied to my face!” Miranda spat out, trying to pull away from Lily’s grip.
“What have I lied about?” Lily questioned, sincerely confused.
“The whole time I told you that I’ve been worried about Kaley, you knew that she’s been here every day and the weekends, too.”
Lily hadn’t tried to hide that Kaley was here constantly, she just hadn’t volunteered the information, and Miranda had never outright asked for it.
“I knew, but I didn’t want to butt into her private business,” Lily tried to defend herself.
“You’re no friend of mine, Lily. Georgia saw me at the store, telling me that she’s seen her here drunk and doing God knows what, and you didn’t say a thing.”
“I’ve never seen her drunk,” Lily protested.
“Why would I believe you? You’re one of them. Your sister is in there right now. Well, you might not care about your sister, but I do mine.” She rushed up the steps.
Lily didn’t know what to do. Twisting her hands, she now regretted not mentioning to Miranda that Kaley had been there so frequently; however, she had truly believed it was Kaley’s private business.
Lily was relieved when she looked up to see that Miranda had been blocked from entering the house. Several men were standing in front of the door, watching them curiously as Miranda stormed back down the steps.
Lily turned to go, but Miranda took a sharp turn, walking across the hilly yard to the path that led around the house and disappearing around the corner.
Lily wished she hadn’t left her phone in the car; she could have called Beth. Not knowing what else to do, she followed Miranda.
“Miranda!” The woman’s fury made her fast. Lily ran behind her, trying to stop her from making a scene that she would regret, yet she couldn’t catch her. The back door that led into the kitchen was open, so Lily ran in behind the disappearing woman. Several eyes from the family room were turned to the other room where Lily could hear raised voices already.
As she moved further into the house, she had expected to see a party atmosphere, and there was, just not the type she had anticipated. Several of the women were in a state of undress. Kaley was rising up from one of the couches next to Cash. Her top was completely off, her skirt was hiked to her waist and she wasn’t wearing underwear. Her sister had caught them actually having sex in the open. And they hadn’t been the only ones.
Several women were covering themselves, pulling on clothes. Those who did have on clothes were the type Lily had never seen them wearing before.
She was instantly grateful that everyone’s backs were to her as she watched Miranda and Kaley have it out.
“You slut. This would kill Mom if she knew what you were doing,” Miranda screamed at her sister.
“Make sure you run and tell her,” Kaley yelled back.
“How could you fuck someone in front of all these people?” Miranda sounded horrified at her sister.
“Look around you, dumbass. I wasn’t the only one fucking. I was doing it because it felt good. I’ve had more dick in the last two months than I had in five years of marriage and I fucking love it. In fact, you might as well know that I’m joining their club as soon as I finish fucking all the head members.”
“What!?” Miranda screeched.
“That’s how you get in. You have to fuck six of the eight original members. But I plan on fucking them all,” Kaley bragged.
Miranda reached out, smacking her sister across the face as they went into a full-fledged cat fight.
Lily stood frozen, unable to move for a second, unaware that whimpers were escaping her mouth. That was when Razer and Viper came running down the steps with Beth and Winter behind them. Both women looked like they had just thrown their clothes on. Beth was wearing a short skirt and a fringed vest that Lily had never seen before and would never have expected her sister to wear.
Lily wasn’t even aware that all the eyes in the room weren’t on Miranda and Kaley but her. She was too lost in taking in what Kaley had said. She understood Miranda’s shock because she was experiencing it herself. In fact, she was so stunned that she couldn’t even turn away as Jewell began scrambling into her shorts at the same time that Stori was pushing Nickel away, breaking his hold on her bared breasts.
“Lily.” Beth came down the steps, speaking to her sister quietly.
Lily took a step backwards into the kitchen, and the door to her side opened. Evie came to an abrupt stop when she saw Lily. She wasn’t wearing a top and her blue jean shorts had been left unbuttoned. She moved to the side, obviously uncomfortable, and Rider came into view, walking up the steps without a shirt and wearing only his jeans. His hair was wet and his face froze at her expression. He moved to the side and Lily’s eyes met Shade’s. He had changed; his hair was just as wet, but he was dressed.
His face hardened when he saw her pale one and he approached her. Taking a step toward her, Beth was as white as a ghost as Lily backed away from them. They both tried to speak at the same time, but her whimpers of pain wouldn’t let her hear their words.
Lily ran, unable to bear what her mind was telling her.
“Lily!” She heard Shade running after her and Beth’s pleading voice, yet she couldn’t stop. She had to get away.
She flew down the path, almost falling down several times. She sensed that Shade was close to reaching her as she screamed all the way to her car, barely managing to get in, slam the door shut and lock it before she felt him try to open the door. By this point people were coming out of the house to watch the commotion. Beth and Razer pulled Shade back from her car as she thrust it into gear and drove out of the parking lot.
Lily couldn’t go home. She couldn’t face Beth and Razer right now, and she knew they wouldn’t be far behind her. She needed somewhere she could go and think before the panic closed her mind down.
Lily swerved the car as an idea struck her. She knew where she could go. The only place that was left to her.
Chapter 10
Lily picked up her backpack after the professor finished class. It was only the second week into the class, but Lily could tell it wasn’t going to prove a challenge, and she needed a challenge to keep her mind occupied. She honestly wished now that she hadn’t saved all the easy classes for her last semester.
She walked slowly back to her dorm room, becoming tired before she was even halfway there. Taking a seat on one of the benches outside, she watched the carefree students on their way to their classes.
She looked down at the plain brown dress she was wearing. She needed to go shopping for some more clothes. She hadn’t been back to her house since the day she’d left for work at the factory. That night after she had left Beth at The Last Rider club, Lily had driven back to college. She had then sat inside an all-night restaurant on the outskirts of town until her dorm had opened in the morning.
She had texted Beth that she was fine and that she would see her in a few weeks, but she needed time. Beth had texted back, asking Lily to talk to her. She hadn’t replied to her texts or calls, though. She had slept practically that whole weekend, barely managing with her migraine to go to the local discount store to buy her some clothes and toiletries before coming back to her bed.
Lily felt so alone; she didn’t know how she could make it without Beth. It was a constant struggle not to call and talk to her; however, Lily couldn’t bring herself to break her silence.
She hadn’t cared that Beth had become involved in what she considered a sex club. She wasn’t so naïve that she hadn’t heard of them
before, even if she and Beth had never talked about sex. Lily believed that it was her sister’s choice to make, just like it was Kaley’s.
What hurt Lily and what she couldn’t understand were the lies Beth had used to conceal her other life. Lily had thought they had confided everything to each other, and yet, she had become a part of a lifestyle that condoned free sex with every member and hadn’t told her, and had actually taken devious measures to keep it hidden from her.
Beth had obviously picked The Last Riders over her. With them, she could be herself while with Lily she had felt compelled to hide her deepening relationships with them. Beth had pulled away from her; it was as simple as that.
The one person she had trusted in the whole world had lied to her on numerous occasions to protect The Last Riders’ code of secrecy.
Lily blinked the tears from her eyes, brushing her hair back from her face.
She rose from the bench, continuing on to her dorm. She had to pass the parking lot in front of her dorm where the sun glinted off the parked chrome motorcycles. Lily paused, wishing she had noticed them sooner. She could have turned around before they’d seen her.
Lily kept walking, seeing Beth standing by the doors to her dorm.
“Hello, Lily.” Her sister’s anxious face watched for her reaction.
“Beth.”
Beth took a step forward, but Lily took a step back, her face twisting into a painful mask.
“Please talk to me, Lily. I can’t bear this silence from you,” Beth pleaded.
Lily nodded her head. She didn’t want to take Beth to her room, yet she didn’t want to stay where the passersby could overhear. Lily pointed to a shaded bench under a large tree.
“Are you doing okay?” Beth asked once they were seated.
“I’m doing fine. Classes are pretty much the same,” Lily said, shrugging.
“Lily, I’d like to explain what you saw that night.”
She winced at her sister’s words. “What I saw was self-explanatory.”
“Yes, it was.” Beth took a deep breath. “But it’s not ugly the way Kaley said. We all care about each other, Lily. We’re friends that—”