Why can’t you just pick them up? It’s not that difficult.” Leah began to pick up the dishes and threw them in the sink. She hadn’t even taken off her jacket, instead rolled up her sleeves to wash the dishes.
For a moment, David looked at his fiancé as if she had three heads. He wanted to be angry at Leah’s insanity, but he walked up behind her instead, placing his slightly calloused hands on her shoulders. Leah took a deep breath and turned around. She looked embarrassed, her face red and flushed.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that I had a hard day today and I almost killed myself walking into the door just now.”
David’s warm smile filled his face. “No worries. I’ll try and be neater.” Leah smiled. “Emphasis on the word ‘try’,” David added, before giving a lop-sided grin and pulling Leah in for an embrace.
Leah regretted yelling at David, wishing she could take back every time she had ever gotten mad at him for being messy. She would give anything to trip over a pair of his pants or shirt at the door again. He was such a sweet and forgiving man; Leah berated herself for being anything less. She fingered the buttons of one of David’s flannel shirts and buried her face in the soft cotton. It still smelled exactly like David, as if he had taken the shirt off the day before. It was a complex scent: David’s cologne, deodorant, saw dust and cement. He could never seem to wash away the smell of the construction site.
Tearing her face away from the shirt, she rummaged through her things to find sweats and another t-shirt. Leah slowly slipped her body through the loose clothing and walked back into the living room. She crumpled herself on the couch, her knees in her chest. Breathing slowly, she tried to calm herself but suddenly Leah wanted a drink; needed a drink. She needed help forgetting about herself, David and everyone else who mattered. She knew that she shouldn’t, it was only nine in the morning, but that didn’t stop her yesterday.
There was no more beer in the fridge, which infuriated her. As Leah noticed the empty bottles by the garbage, mocking her, she knew her mother must have thrown whatever was left down the sink. Not wanting to go outside and be bombarded with disapproving glares, or worse, sympathetic stares, Leah found an old bottle of whiskey underneath one of the kitchen cabinets. Pleased that her mother hadn’t managed to find the liquor, Leah smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever, but her delectation was short-lived.
As she stood in the kitchen, she sipped the liquor straight from the bottle. It burned her chest as it made its way down and she cringed at the taste. Three huge gulps later, Leah could already feel the effect as it wondered her body. When it came to alcohol, she was a lightweight; something David teased her about. Stumbling back towards the living room, Leah stopped short in front of David’s latest project. He had started to add a room to the loft. Leah peaked inside, praying that it had changed; however, the sky blue paint still covered the walls, images of monkeys and flying elephants and other whimsical characters, that Leah had painted herself, decorated the room and a half finished crib was pushed off into a corner.
Leah ran her fingers through David’s hair, massaging his scalp as they spent another lazy Saturday together. The game was on and he was completely transfixed by the last quarter. Leah’s stomach was in knots. She bit at one of her nails; she had been nervous the entire day.
“Baby?” She asked in a small voice.
“Huh?” David responded absentmindedly, his focus still on the game.
“I know we just bought this loft and everything isn’t quite finished yet, but I think we might need to make another adjustment.”
“Okay, sure, sure.” David nodded, willing to give Leah whatever she wanted if it meant not interrupting the game.
“David, you’re not paying attention,” she pouted as she tapped him lightly on the shoulder.
David sighed heavily but pressed mute on the remote and turned to look at Leah. She looked so upset that David automatically became concerned. “What’s going on?” He asked, studying her.
“We need to build another room.”
“For? We already have an art studio for you and I don’t really need a room for my work.”
Leah stared at David, tears beginning to puddle in her deep set eyes. “It’s a boy,” she whispered.
David looked confused for a moment but as the realization of Leah’s words settled, David’s eyes lit up. “You’re pregnant?”
Leah nodded her head, still concerned that a baby wasn’t in David’s plans for them at that moment. She had never been good at remembering to take her birth control.
David caught Leah’s chin and brought her gaze up to meet his eyes. He was smiling. He crashed his lips into hers and pulled away. “That’s great.”
Leah smiled. David jumped up, walking toward the phone, thinking of all the people he wanted to call and announce the good news to, but he then stopped short. “No I have to start the plans for the baby’s room.” David spoke almost to himself as he rushed into the bedroom and pulled out blueprints of the loft. He started drafting a nursery for his unborn baby boy as Leah looked on. The game became a distant memory.
Looking up from his plans, he smiled again at Leah. “Have you thought about what you want to name him?”
“D.J.”
“Deejay?” David looked confused by the name choice. “What kind of name is Deejay?”
Leah crawled off the couch and to David. She kissed him softly. “It’s a beautiful name. David Jr.”
Leah woke up lying in the center of the living room in the dark, only the dull light from the moon shining in. The whiskey bottle was turned over, still in her hand, the liquor spreading across the floor, staining the unfinished wood. Her head was throbbing; her stomach tangled. She had lost the baby. Leah felt guilty about not caring as much about losing the baby as everyone felt that she should. A baby wasn’t exactly in their plans at the time and Leah’s excitement fed off of David’s. Though she was happy with the thought of being a mother, without David, Leah didn’t feel that she would be able to give the baby the life that David and she had planned, so maybe it was for the best.
Leah clutched her stomach as she tried to sit up. She let the near empty bottle roll across the floor, not bothering to wipe up the spilled whiskey. Her lips were cracked and dry as she ran her tongue over them. She could taste her salty tears as they fell on her lips. She rested her face in her hands.
“I need to get some more wood for D.J.’s crib, Leah. Want to come?”
Leah looked up from the couch she was sitting on, eating a carton of banana ice cream that was balancing on her baby bump. Dying from the heat, going outside seemed like a bit of relief from the sauna they called an apartment. Leah nodded her head as she stood up from the couch. David laughed at the sight of his 6 month pregnant fiancé.
“I know you’re pregnant and all, but I still think you eat a lot.” David teased. She playfully hit David in the arm.
“Don’t tease me. I’m eating for two now. And besides, if you would just install the air conditioning, I wouldn't be looking for ways to cool down every five minutes.”
"I promise, when we get back, I will put it in first thing."
Outside, they filed into David’s blue pickup and began driving to the local hardware store.
“David, buckle up.” Leah said absentmindedly as she pulled her own straps over her body.
David ran a reassuring hand through Leah’s hair. “We are only driving downtown, baby.”
Twisted metal and burning rubber was all Leah could see out her window. A red SUV was on its back, the driver hanging, unconsciously, out the window. Leah twisted her neck to the left of her, seeing David’s body, hanging limp over the driving wheel. She was furious at first; she had told David to put on his seat belt a thousand times before but as panic overtook her, her anger ebbed and Leah tried to scream for help, only to feel a sharp pain course through her jaw. It was broken; blood from her mouth covered the window she hit. Her lap
felt wet and when Leah looked down, she was terrified to see blood soaking though her overalls. There was nothing she could do.
Leah woke up in her bed. The shadows were playing on the walls again. She couldn’t believe he was really gone.
* * * * *
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