Isla dropped from the saddle and stood limp, waiting for Tam. She stared at the ground with little energy to move or speak. Since she had wakened this morning, an unexplained emptiness consumed her. The strange attack the evening before had left her in despair. She had sensed her das in terrible danger, had felt his fears and anguish. Though she tried to shake the feeling, it clung to her.
“Take this over there.” Tam handed her his saddle bag and pointed to a spot near a tree trunk.
Isla stumbled her way there then fell exhausted upon the bag. She forced herself to her hands and knees, but moved no further. From behind, strong hands lifted her in the air. Tam set her against the tree trunk.
“Is there anything you need?” His soft voice matched his concerned expression.
She sank to the ground and curled into a ball. He had nothing to ease the pain.
Tam stood and threw a worried glance at Keiron. The hauflin shrugged and unpacked his equipment.
Isla watched Tam repeat the same actions as he did each night: spread the blanket for sleeping, ready the food for the ration and remove his boots to air his feet. When he set a cup of beans in front of her, she remained motionless. Food had lost its flavour, and it ached going down. She wanted to close her eyes, surrender to sleep and forget everything.
“If you don’t eat, you’ll die.” Tam rested his hand on her shoulder.
“So.”
He peered closer and forced open an eye lid. “What’s wrong?”
She didn’t answer. The words she dreaded to speak caught in her throat.
“Is it your das?”
Isla pushed away his hand and closed her eyes. Pain overwhelmed her and she wept. The hopelessness which seized her the previous evening clutched her in its cold grip. She wrapped her head in her arms and descended into the sadness.
Tam left the beans, settled near the trunk and ate. He glanced between Isla and Keiron. She didn’t move, and he only stared at her, puzzled.
Before darkness claimed the land, Tam shook Isla. When she looked up, he pointed to the trees. “If you need to go, go now. It’ll be dark soon.” He stood and walked away.
Isla did need to pee and knew she couldn’t hold it ‘til morning. She rose on shaky legs and began for the bushes. If stronger, she would have run away. Maybe she’d keep walking until she dropped, or they caught her. She stumbled over a stump and fell to the ground. Forcing herself to her feet, she pressed on.
Tam glanced at Keiron. “She’s lost all hope.”
Keiron nodded. “It’s a worse feeling than starving.”
They watched her move into the bushes, looking for a place for privacy. When they lost sight of her, they returned to their own business.