Ben lay up in bed the next morning, reading by the early morning light. The only television on the ward was down the end of the hall and he couldn't be arsed making the long trek down there just to watch Bert Newton. So he'd lain up in bed all morning reading.
He'd gotten up once to go to the toilet around six and gone for a walk about the hospital. The only other people about were the older patients, floating down the halls with their gowns hanging off them like curtains and wispy white hair floating about their heads like haloes. Their ghostliness had proven too much for Ben and he'd retreated to his room to read, wishing he could close his door.
As he read, his eyes kept straying to the clock on the wall and he began to find it difficult to concentrate on his book. Kath should arrive soon. Kath should have arrived by now. Maybe she'd decided not to come at all, maybe something had happened to her.
Although he'd stressed the importance of his laptop, the truth was that Ben didn't really want or need it. He didn't work on weekends anyway, unless he was behind on a job. Ben had anticipated the possibility that she may not actually want to see him again, so he had asked her to bring his laptop in. Of course there was always the chance she'd refuse to do it, but Ben doubted it. Kath could always be counted on to do a favour for a friend. Ben trusted she hadn't changed that much.
Still, as time kept sliding away, it seemed more and more likely she might not be coming. Now that he'd been here for a full night with no company and nothing to do but read, Ben was really looking forward to Kath's visit. If nothing else, he really did want his laptop now.
Tired from reading, Ben closed the book and put it on his night-stand. He placed it crooked and it slid onto the floor, landing with a muffled thump. He was drifting off into a light doze when Kath arrived, all beaming smiles and apologies for keeping him waiting.
"I thought maybe you'd deserted me," said Ben.
"I was tempted," said Kath, setting his laptop down on a chair. "How are you anyway?" she asked.
"I'm okay," said Ben. "I'm feeling better but I'm starting to go crazy being cooped up in here."
"I know what you mean," said Kath. She went to pull up a chair and suddenly Ben saw something move behind her. A vague shadowy shape.
"What's that?" he said, sitting up.
Even as Kath turned, the shape fell upon her, an enormous, shadowy bat-shape covering her from head to toes like someone had thrown a black sheet over her. As Ben watched, the shadow faded away and left Kath, or what used to be Kath, standing hunched by his bed.
She was completely desiccated, her skin brown and dried out like old, cracked earth, nothing to her but shrivelled skin and bones. Ben reached out a hand to touch her and she crumbled before his eyes, disintegrating into dust.
"No!" screamed Ben, shocking himself into wakefulness.
For long, gasping minutes Ben sat on his bed, trying to get his breath back, trying to work out when he'd fallen asleep. There was no discernible break in his memory, one minute he was laying up in bed reading, and the next he was watching Kath disintegrate. Obviously he'd drifted off before Kath came in because she wasn't actually here yet, and the book was still resting on his lap, not on the floor. There must have been a break somewhere but he was damned if he could pick it.
The dream, if that's what it was - it had felt more like a vision - left Ben shaken and scared and it was a while before he settled down. Even after Kath really did arrive Ben was still jumpy, constantly watching for a shadow like a bat lurking behind her.
She poked her head through the door like a rabbit scenting the air outside it's burrow.
"Hello," she said.
"Time for my sponge-bath already?" said Ben, grinning at her.
Kath smiled back. "Maybe later," she said. She held up his laptop. "I got it. I probably also got that old biddy and half the town talking about how I was in your motel room too."
She'd meant it as a joke but Ben could see how nervous she really was about it.
"Mavis?" he said. "She's not that bad. I'm sure she wouldn't maliciously spread gossip. She likes a bit of a chat is all. Thank you so much for this," he patted the laptop, laid beside him on the bed. "I think I was in real danger of going off my nut without it."
"And we couldn't have that," said Kath with a laugh. "You're bad enough as it is."
"Now is that any way to talk to a man who's hovering at death's door?"
"Shut-up," she said. "You shouldn't joke about it. You could have been really hurt, Ben."
"I was really hurt," he said. "Look at my head!"
"I know," said Kath. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Ben told her. "They aren't your footprints on my ribs."
The conversation lagged as they both tried to think of other things to talk about. Ben fiddled half-heartedly at the carry-case, hoping he'd put the power-pack back in. Kath straightened her hair and stared out the window. She was wearing a very nice perfume today, Ben noticed. She smelt good, like childhood summer days.
A cream, knitted top clung to her ample breasts, as most of her tops did, and Ben wondered if she got hot in them. Because they sure made him hot. A knee-length, black skirt covered half of her shapely, honeyed legs.
"So you use that for your websites do you?" Kath asked, gesturing at the laptop and breaking his intense study of her.
Ben nodded. "Yep. I design them on here and e-mail them to my boss. He goes over them to make sure they look good and work alright, then shows them to the client."
"There's pretty good money in that, isn't there?" she asked.
"Depends on who you do them for. We design mostly for corporate clients, major financial industries and stuff like that. So there's a penny or two in it for me."
"Sounds good. So are you on holiday now or..." she trailed off, shrugging her shoulders at him.
Ben laughed. "That's the beauty of the internet. There are no holidays any more. Thanks to e-mail, the web and these babies," he patted the laptop case, "your work can follow you wherever you go."
"Not mine," grinned Kath. "We have e-mail but no internet access and certainly no web-site."
"But you have a mobile phone?"
"Of course."
"And you have e-mail. Do you have a computer at home?"
"Brand new," she said proudly.
"And is that connected to the internet?"
"Yes," she said. "Otherwise Neil wouldn't be able to get his daily dose of porn."
Ben let that go for the moment, intent on making his point.
"There you go, then," he said. "You're sitting there at home on your day off, or even better, you're off on holidays and you get this call on your mobile. It's your boss. 'Kath, listen,' he says, 'I've got this file we really need your help on. If I e-mail it to you can you have a look at it and tell me what you think.' And there you go," he pointed his finger at her, "You're working from home. Or on holiday. As a matter of fact, as long as you're somewhere with mobile reception or a telephone line, you can work from there."
"That sucks," said Kath. "That's so scary I don't even want to think about it. God, I go on holidays to get away from work. What a waste if you take it all with you."
"I guess it is," said Ben. "But I enjoy my job. And I'm good at it. Which makes me fast."
"Lucky you," said Kath. "Doing a job you enjoy. I wish I could get a job I liked."
"Come on," said Ben. "Is your job that bad?"
"I'm a receptionist, Ben. It's like being paid to do your nails."
"I thought that was just a stereotype," said Ben.
"It is," said Kath. "But it sums up the excitement of the job pretty well."
"I suppose there's not many exciting jobs around Casino."
"No," she said. "There isn't. But it's not like I can just up and move somewhere else."
"Why not?" said Ben.
"Neil," she said. "He wouldn't leave here. All his mates are here, everyone he knows. He'd never agree to move."
"So leave him."
"What?"
&nbs
p; Ben was sitting up in bed staring at her, his one visible eye alight. "Leave him. Why not? Pack up and tell him you're going, whether he comes with you or not." Ben didn't know if he was serious or not, but God how he hoped she might agree with him, even in jest.
Kath laughed but it sounded fake and forced. It made Ben wonder if leaving Neil wasn't such a new idea to her. "I couldn't," she said. "My grandparents are here, and Richard as well." He noticed she didn't say anything about loving Neil.
"Richard?" said Ben. "He's still here? What's he up to now?"
"He's still a cop," said Kath.
With that the conversation shifted to safer waters as they went on to talk of old friends and old days. What people were up to now, who'd gone away, who'd stayed. Ben pressed Kath for details, aching to hear of lost glories, of fallen angels. Hoping that a guy who'd teased him in High School was now cleaning toilets at the meatworks, or a girl who'd made fun of him was a fat old housewife with six kids. But there was nothing that good. The best she could tell him was that a few of them were on the dole and that didn't really fuel his revenge fantasies.
Eventually, Kath had to leave.
"Do you have to?" Ben asked her as she stood up.
"Yeah," she sighed. "I have to go back to work."
"Bugger. When can I see you again?"
Kath thought for a moment. "If you like, when you get out I can take you on a tour of Casino," she said.
"Sure, okay," said Ben. "I'd like that. What with Casino being such a big place and all, sometimes I get lost."
"Do you want me to come back and see you or not?" threatened Kath.
"Okay, sorry," said Ben. "I'd love for you to show me around this fabulous town in which you live. I'm sure there are many interesting sights which I would never find on my own."
"That's better," said Kath. "So I'll see you tomorrow, smart boy."
"See you then," said Ben, grinning.
Kath lingered on the verge of leaving, staring at Ben. He smiled at her, knowing what she was trying to decide to do and hoping she'd do it.
She strode back to the bedside and leaned over Ben. He smelt tea-tree oil. She lowered her soft, warm mouth to his. Ben raised his hand to her hair as she kissed him, his tongue seeking the moist depths of her mouth. He held on to the back of her head as the kiss grew more passionate, and they gasped into each other's mouths. Ben felt himself stiffening and wished they could follow through with this all the way, right here and now. Finish what they'd only started in High School.
All too soon it was over, Kath reluctantly pulled away, breathless and flushed, stammering that she really did have to leave.
"Goodbye," she said and hurried from the room.
"Kath, wait," Ben called after her. But she was already gone.
Ben lay staring after her for a long time.
He was being stupid, he knew that. He didn't, he couldn't, dare hope that something would come of him and Kath. She was, after all, married to Neil. Maybe it wasn't happy but it was still a marriage. And Ben knew he wasn't worth ruining a marriage for.
Him and Kath had been so close at school, he didn't even know where it all might have gone wrong. They'd been friends since primary school and became boyfriend and girlfriend in High School when Ben had timidly asked her out one day after art class.
Ben remembered his face had been burning hot and, he was sure, as bright red as a beetroot when he stammered out the question. And to his still disbelieving surprise Kath had said yes.
Throughout High School the unlikely couple had flourished, despite the doubts of fellow class-mates. Ben might have been fat, but he wasn't deaf. He knew what the other girls thought of him. They asked each other and even Kath what she was doing with a fat slob like him. She could do so much better. And all the guys wanted to go out with her. From Year Seven onwards she was one of the 'cool kids' and the guys, Neil and mates of his, expected that at least one of them would end up with her.
And now Neil had.
The worst thing was that Ben had no one to blame but himself. Through Year Twelve and after High School, when he'd been on the dole and the fights with his parents worsened, Ben had turned in on himself, closing out the rest of the world. Kath had been left out in the cold and had sought comfort with one of those self-same 'cool guys' that Ben had despised.
And what had Ben done? Had he stayed and fought for the hand of the girl he loved? No, he turned tail and ran away to Sydney. It was no wonder Neil had ended up with the girl. The best man always did.
Ben sighed as he drifted off to a shallow sleep awash with discomfiting dreams of chances lost. He'd blown his single chance with one of the most beautiful, wonderful girls he'd ever met and now some perverse, homing instinct had sent him back home to rub his nose in it.
Sometimes it sucked being yourself.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN