“Or us,” Saylor agreed.
Kiersten tugged her lower lip with her teeth. “I just — I don’t feel good about leaving you in that room alone.”
“It’s fine.” I gently removed her hand. “Besides, what else can happen to me?”
Saylor and Kiersten shared a look.
“It’s fine,” I repeated, meeting their uneasy gazes with what I hoped was more assurance than I actually felt. “I shouldn’t live in fear. Right, Kiersten?”
“No,” she said slowly. “But I do think there’s wisdom in being cautious.”
I pulled out my pepper spray and Taser. “I’m cautious. Promise.”
“Call us…” Kiersten’s eyes reflected worry. “At least call us in the morning so we know you’re okay.”
“Right.” I forced a smile that felt totally foreign, given the circumstances, and got out of the car.
My legs may as well have been full of sand as I shuffled to the dorm. The wind picked up, fluffing my hair and sending it flying around my face. I could have sworn I heard someone say my name again… just like the day before. I quickly turned around, but nothing unusual was there. Just people walking and talking, and, of course, the trees next to my building.
Don’t be ridiculous, Lisa, I scolded, and let myself in. The stairs nearly overwhelmed me as I slowly trudged up them, carrying the proverbial weight of the world on my shoulders. My heart, my chest was heavy. I felt like crying, but I wasn’t sure if it was because I was ashamed or because Tristan had hurt me so deeply.
When I finally reached my door, Jack was leaning against it.
“Jack?” I squinted. “What are you doing here?”
“Leaving you a note.” He pulled a slip of paper from his pocket. “But now that I can hand deliver it… here.”
I accepted it then read the inscription to myself: Do you like me? Circle yes or no.
I burst out laughing. “If you’re trying to cheer me up, it’s working.”
He joined in laughter and then tilted his head. “Something bothering you?”
“No, it’s…” I sighed heavily and looked away. “…it’s not a big deal.”
“Want me to come in?” he offered. “I can make a mean cup of hot chocolate, and if it’s guy problems, I’m pretty sure I can give you some awesome advice.”
Something about his expression was too eager.
“No.” I pressed my fingers against my temples. “I have a killer headache, and I’m really tired. But thanks.”
“Oh.” He snorted. “I see how it is. You let Dr. Blake in, but not me? What? I’m not old enough for you?”
The abrupt mood change took me back. “No, that’s not it at all. I would say no to anyone right now.”
He took a step forward, a mocking sneer in place; his eyes were wild. I’d never seen him like that. His eyes darted back and forth, unable to focus.
“Rumor has it you don’t say no — ever.”
My heart started racing. “Jack…” I tried to smile. “…let’s not fight, alright? You’re a friend, a really good friend.”
“Friend?” he spat. “Friend?”
“Look, if I gave you the wrong impression, I’m sorry. I just—”
Jack gripped my wrists and slowly backed me up against the hallway wall. A few girls giggled and walked past as he winked at them. But I was terrified, terrified that he could switch from happy to pissed so fast.
“And if I want more? Hmm?”
The way he tilted his head reminded me so much of Taylor that I almost threw up on his shoes.
“What would you say then?”
“No.” I swallowed. “Because I value your friendship too much.”
“Bullshit!” He slammed the wall above my head. “It’s Dr. Blake, isn’t it?”
“Don’t be silly. He’s our professor.”
“Exactly,” Jack hissed. “Our professor.” He shook his head in disgust then jabbed a finger into my chest. “Just remember, you did this to yourself. You know I could have protected you. You know I had the power to protect you. That it was me all along that wanted to save you, despite what you did?”
“What I did?”
“Professor Blake,” Jack sneered. “Right. Well, have a good night, Lisa. I’ll be sure that he knows I’d like to switch partners. Yeah, I’ll make sure he gets that memo.”
Jack charged down the hall, leaving me gasping for air. A few girls poked their heads out of their rooms but said nothing. That was the thing about college. There was so much drama, and the school was so big… well, it was my fault I’d never really made friends with the people on my floor. That, and the fact that I’d opted out of having a roommate once Kiersten had moved in with Wes.
I gave the girls a watery smile and let myself into my room. With a cry, I slammed the door. Hands shaking, I twisted the lock and leaned my back against the wall.
All the lights in my dorm were off. I quickly flipped them on and was horrified to find that I hadn’t been robbed.
No, that would be too easy.
Instead, there were pictures — hundreds of pictures — scattered around the floor and attached to the walls. I knew who they were of before I even looked closely… me with Taylor.
With shaking hands I dialed Gabe’s number.
“Lisa?” he barked. “Thank God, are you okay?”
“No.” My voice wouldn’t stop shaking. “No, I’m not, I just… I need you. There’s pictures, and my study partner just freaked out on me and…”
“Shh, I’ll be there. Lock the door and windows and keep your cell phone on you, alright?”
“Okay.”
Fifteen minutes later, Wes, Gabe, and Tristan were in my room picking up all the pictures, while I sat quietly on the couch.
I didn’t even feel the warm mug as Tristan forced it into my hands and told me to drink. Shaking, I lifted it to my lips and would have spilled it all over me had he not gripped my hands and helped me.
Feeling like a child, I wanted to lash out and throw the cup at his face, but he was helping — he was trying to help, at least. But his touch just reminded me of what I would never have with him again.
“We called the police, Lisa.” Gabe sat next to me and put his arm on mine. “They’ll be here in a few minutes. We wore gloves to pick up all the pictures, so there should still be prints on them, hopefully. Until then...”
“I’m staying.” I nodded my head, convincing myself and hopefully them as I glanced at each one in turn. “I need to stay. I’m not running away because some bastard is trying to scare me. I’m staying.”
“I’ll stay with her,” Tristan whispered. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
I didn’t argue. I was too tired to argue.
By the time the cops showed up and then left, it was late afternoon. I was starving and exhausted.
I lay down on the couch and listened while everyone talked in hushed tones. Finally the door closed, and it was just me and Tristan. It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room in a whoosh the minute we were alone. I wanted him to kiss me as much as I wanted to push him away for hurting me. It was a toss-up.
Tristan made his way over to the couch and pulled me into his lap. I didn’t say anything; I just let him. The silence was comforting. My eyes fluttered closed, and I didn’t object when his hand caressed my face. Instead, I shifted into it and drifted off.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
I never imagined I’d fall for someone so soon after Taylor had ripped me to shreds, but the feelings I had for Tristan were beyond normal. They were… terrifying, and for once, I didn’t turn away. I walked toward the very sun that had the potential to burn me. —Lisa
Tristan
SHE WAS EXHAUSTED.
And I was pissed. The police had nothing, but that was nothing new. They’d been on the case for weeks now, and still had no leads. Wes’s team was doing better than the police department, and it pissed me off that Lisa was in constant danger until we figured more out.
The police
had tried to calm me down, saying ridiculous shit about how stalkers rarely make physical contact.
Right. Tell that to the girl shaking in my arms.
I knew better. I knew the mind of sociopaths. I knew what they were capable of, and, unfortunately, Lisa was doing nothing more than pissing whoever it was off. The minute the victim found a sense of confidence and stopped reacting to the fear, the stalker got braver and braver until contact was made. Half the time, the object of their obsession was only slightly harmed. The other half? My stomach filled with dread.
I refused to let that happen to her.
It was nearing eight at night. I’d let her sleep for a few hours while I mulled over all the possibilities. I needed to somehow convince her to live with me, even if it meant I was going to be near her but never with her. Hell, I’d even give her the entire first floor of the house if she needed space, but I could never live with myself if anything happened to her. I wouldn’t survive it.
She moaned in my lap. Her eyelashes fluttered before opening. “Wh-what time is it?”
“Late,” I said hoarsely. “Want me to order some food?”
She nodded and pushed herself away from my lap. After stretching a bit and driving me crazy, considering I couldn’t stop staring at her, she went into the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on and decided to stop staring at the door like she was going to open it up and invite me in.
Cursing, I paced the room and quickly put in our order for pizza, extra cheese for her.
When the shower turned off, my ears perked up. Damn, I was pathetic, but I couldn’t help it. She was a part of me now, whether she liked it or not, and I wasn’t going to leave. I was going to grovel, if that’s what it took.
Wrapped in nothing but a towel, she exited the bathroom.
I sucked in a deep breath, my eyes roaming over her body, remembering what she looked like beneath the towel.
A blush rose to her cheeks before she quickly padded into her room and slammed the door.
Groaning, I covered my face with my hands. It was going to be a hell of a long night.
Another fifteen minutes later, she emerged, wearing a pair of black yoga pants and a pink tank top.
I answered the door, nearly yanking it off its hinges, and was shocked to see Jack again.
“Hey,” I said awkwardly. “Um, how much do I owe you?”
Jack tilted his head. “How much you got?”
“Very funny.”
“Twenty-five even.” His eyes narrowed as he peered around me. “Another late night study session, hmm? Her headache must have gone away.”
“Ibuprofen and a three-hour nap.”
“Ah.” Jack nodded his head and handed over the pizzas. “Heard some loser broke in again.”
“Yeah.”
Jack didn’t move.
“Is there anything else you need?”
“I think—” Jack grinned. “—I’ve got all I need, but thanks for asking. See you in class.”
I could have sworn he’d said “or not” under his breath. The kid was getting creepier and creepier every time I saw him.
When I slammed the door and locked it, Lisa was shaking on the couch. I quickly dropped the pizza onto the table and pulled her into my arms. “What’s wrong?”
“Jack…” Her teeth chattered. “…when I came home late this morning, he was at my door. He said he was leaving me a note but…”
“Shit.” I pulled out my phone to dial Gabe. “Has he ever been inside your apartment?”
“Yeah, once.”
“Yeah, Gabe,” I barked into the phone. “Do a background check on Jack McHale.”
“Spell it.”
I spelled out the name, ready to chase after the kid and wring his scrawny little neck if he’d had any involvement. “That all you need?”
“Yup. I should have some info to you by morning.”
“Cool, thanks.”
I hung up and faced Lisa. “Gabe’s on it.”
She groaned. “He really freaked me out earlier, but maybe he’s just… temperamental.”
“Tell me exactly what he did.”
The more she shared, the harder I clenched my fists. My teeth ground together. I don’t even remember how many curse words escaped my mouth, but I had to have set a record.
“But I’m fine,” Lisa urged, putting her hand on my arm. Then, as if remembering we weren’t exactly on speaking terms, she pulled back. “Really. I’m good.”
“I’ll kill him.”
“Don’t.” She gave me a weak smile. “After all, who’d deliver us pizza?”
“I’m not laughing. It’s not funny.” I crossed my arms. “He’s a jackass, and if he touches you again, you use your Taser, got it?”
“I’ll Taser his ass.” Lisa nodded. “But he did say something about switching partners so… yeah.”
“Thinking about him even spending time with you makes me want to rip his head off. Let’s eat… or something.”
“Before you go hunt him down?”
I shuddered. “Yeah, eat.”
Lisa pulled out a piece and started taking tiny nibbles.
I rolled my eyes and pinned her in my stare. “Take bigger bites. You need food. You haven’t eaten all day.”
“If I take big bites, I may choke.”
“Then I’ll cut them for you.”
“You’re really abrasive tonight.”
I looked down. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
Her eyes were haunted, not clear like they’d been before the world had come crashing down on our relationship.
We both finished dinner in silence.
“I’m tired.” Lisa stood. “I think I’m going to go to bed.”
“Right.” I stood, unsure if I could hug her or if I should just stay away. I finally settled on nothing and watched her shoulders slump as if disappointed.
Cursing myself, I cleaned up the mess and tried to get comfortable on the couch. I was exhausted, so at least I’d sleep through the night.
The last thing I remembered before dozing off was a vision of Lisa in her yoga pants.
****
A blood curdling scream erupted from Lisa’s room. I jolted awake and damn-near ran into her door trying to get it open.
Lisa was tossing in bed; she was covered in sweat. “No, no! Just leave me alone!”
I rushed to her side and tried to wake her up.
With a scream, her fist went flying — directly into my jaw.
Cursing, I almost fell to the ground. Who knew she could punch like that?
“Oh my gosh!” Lisa covered her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I thought… I thought you were him.”
“Taylor.” Defeat surrounded me.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry,” I croaked. “I heard you screaming and thought there was someone in here and…”
Lisa burst into tears.
“Aw, sweetheart…” I didn’t give a damn if she hated me. I was holding her. I was going to hold her until all the tears dried. I tugged her into my lap and rocked her back and forth.
“I’m so mad at you.”
“I know.”
“You ruined everything.”
My chest felt like it was cracking. “I know.”
“But I — I think I love you. That’s why it hurts so bad. It won’t go away, the pain in my chest. It won’t go away, and I keep hoping that when I close my eyes and wake up again, it will go away, but—”
I kissed her into silence, putting everything I had into it, molding my lips to hers, forcing her to feel what I felt for her. When we broke apart, I was out of breath. “Lisa, look at me.”
Tears pooled in her eyes.
“I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Even if I punch you in the jaw?”
“Yes, even then.”
“Even if right now my anger overshadows everything else?”
“Even then,” I whispered. “I’d rather you hate me forever yet let me in your li
fe, than love me for a moment and push me away.”
She nodded, wiping at her tears. “I don’t know if I can… if I can trust you again. You hurt me s-so bad.”
“Lisa, if I could take that hurt from you and carry it for the rest of my life, I would. I know that’s not how life works, but know I’d do it in an instant. If I could take all that guilt and shame? There would be no hesitation, but because I can’t, at least let me hold your hand while you walk through it.”
Nodding, she slowly lay back down in bed. “Will you lie down with me?”
“Yeah.” Some of the anxiety of the day lifted. “I can do that.”
Tucking her in against my body, I kissed her forehead as she drifted off to sleep and vowed I’d never let anyone hurt her for as long as I lived — even if that meant keeping her from me. I’d die before I hurt her again.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
You aren’t born with fear… you’re born with love. Fear develops as you realize that the world isn’t as perfect as you’d once assumed. Fear is a learned habit — and I was its student. —Lisa
Lisa
I WOKE UP alone. Immediately, I jolted upright and looked for Tristan. He wasn’t in the living room. Just as I turned around to go back into my room and grab my cell, the bathroom door burst open.
Tristan stood there, dripping wet and naked.
Completely. Gloriously. Naked.
His jaw went slack.
My eyes went wide.
Neither of us said anything.
Until finally I cleared my throat and folded my arms. “Well, I’d say good morning, but you beat me to it.”
He scratched his head, the V from his abs flexing as water fell to the floor. “No towels.”
“They’re in my room.”
“Because you like naked men running around trying to find things to dry themselves with?”
“First naked man in my dorm.” I tried to hide my smile but ended up bursting out laughing.
“Stop laughing.”
It felt good to laugh, so I laughed harder. He looked so hot and pathetic standing there.
“That’s it.” In a blur, he charged toward me and threw me onto the couch. He hovered over my body, his eyes heated.