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A knowledge.
No woman had ever surrendered so easily to him.
No one had ever opened that part of him he kept so carefully hidden. That he hid even from himself. And now it tore open. He felt it. Felt his soul rip in half and something, some dark, forbidden emotion began to flow from him, into her. Began to build inside him until nothing was enough, until he hungered even as he became sated. Until he needed even as he was given.
Until nothing, no one existed but Courtney and the ravaging needs building inside his own soul.
It wasn’t enough. He could still feel her beneath him, her pussy contracting around his cock, sucking at it, eager for more even as she fought to catch her breath. She was wilder than the wind, hotter than the deepest pits of a volcano and as pure as the deepest reaches of the ocean. And so much a part of him he could feel her reaching out to him, binding him, locking a part of his soul to hers.
“It’s sex,” he growled at her ear then, furious, savage, fighting to reclaim what no one else had ever possessed. “Do you understand me, Courtney? It’s sex. No more. No less. ”
Her pussy rippled around his dick, stroking it, keeping him hard when he should have been satisfied, should have been sated. Keeping him on the edge of a hunger he couldn’t hide from.
“Mmm. ” The sound was drowsy, yet filled with hunger. “Whatever you say, Ian. Whatever it is, can we do it again?”
He forced himself to retreat. With every measure of strength inside him he forced himself to pull his hard flesh free of the fist-tight grip she had on him, grimacing in pleasure, in regret as the broad head popped free.
Tearing himself from her was harder. He wanted to scream as he moved, every cell in his body aching to return to her, to feel the soft touch of her flesh against his. As though the electrical currents flowing between them were being ripped apart, the pain sliced at his flesh.
“I have work to do. ” It was impossible to contain the fury building within him. “You have lunch. ”
He could feel her. He could fucking feel her rolling over on the bed, her gaze caressing his back as he jerked his pants from the floor and quickly dressed. Goddamn, he had to get away from her. He had to break whatever the bloody hell was suddenly binding them together, and he had to break it quickly. Before it went much further.
She didn’t speak. She just fucking watched him.
He glanced back at her, fury pulsing through his body at the soft, welling emotion in those deep brown eyes. Eyes that ensnared him, that made him feel. Damn her to bloody fucking hell, if he wanted to feel this, he would have sought her out. She wouldn’t have had to come to him.
“It’s just sex,” he snarled again, the anger pumping through his veins, thickening his blood, forcing his heart to race to keep it flowing through his veins.
“Yes, Ian. It’s just sex,” she agreed, too softly, too easily and with too much goddamned emotion in her voice.
“And don’t forget it. ” He jerked the shirt over his shoulders before bending to collect his shoes and socks. “Never fucking forget it. ”
“Never, Ian. ” She sounded satisfied, not sated, but her voice echoed with pleasure.
Clenching his teeth against the surging forces rising within him, he turned and stomped from her room, striding quickly to his own.
It was just sex…
He pushed his fingers roughly through his hair at the thought. If it was just sex, if it were nothing more than he had known with all the women before him, then why did he crave her touch now, more than he had before he went to her? Why did he hunger for something that had no name, no definition? Something that now ate at his soul and he knew would never again allow him any peace.
If it was just sex, then why in the hell was his soul screaming that it was more…
So much more…
* * * * *
The last thing Courtney wanted to do was leave Ian and have lunch, go shopping or try to be civil in any way, shape or form. She wanted to race after Ian, wanted to scream at him, demand that he stop hiding from her just when she could feel him reaching out to her.
But she showered, dressed, and when she left her room she restrained from slamming the bedroom door and cursing violently.
Ian, of course, was no place to be found.
Hiding.
Coward.
She wanted to rage with him, rage at him. She didn’t want to leave and give him the opportunity to build even more defenses against her. She wanted to hold him, feel again that merging she had known could exist between them. The completion that had, for endless seconds, rushed through her senses and left her shuddering in the aftermath.
“I think we need drinks before lunch,” Tally Conover commented as Courtney joined her in the foyer, her gaze sharp, her expression thoughtful. “And we definitely need to talk to Kimberly. ”
Courtney barely refrained from glaring at her.
“Come along, dear, girls’ day out. Do you need to inform Ian you may be late?”
“I’ll need to be late?” Her fingers clenched on her purse as she fought to make herself follow the other woman to the door the butler held open politely.
“Please inform Ian that Ms. Mattlaw may be severely late returning tonight,” she informed him imperiously. “I’m certain he’ll understand why. ”
Courtney hoped to hell he did, because she didn’t.
Her senses were overloaded. She had no business venturing out into the real world right now, and she knew it.
“This might not be a good idea,” she sighed as she stepped into Tally’s sporty little Jaguar. “Perhaps we should go shopping some other time. ”
“I agree with you one hundred percent. ” She might agree, but the amusement in her voice assured Courtney that the other woman had no intention of canceling whatever plans were in the making.
“I think a nice quiet lunch at my home, with a few friends, and plenty of drinks are in order. What do you say?”
Courtney turned to stare at her as tires screamed in protest at the quick application of gas she gave the vehicle. She jerked in the seat, frowning at the thought of whiplash.
“Will we get there in one piece?” She winced as Tally shot onto the main street, barely glancing at oncoming traffic as she did so.
“Of course we will,” Tally laughed with a natural, sharp humor.
Courtney shook her head, an unwilling smile tugging at her lips. She knew she liked the other woman for a reason, and she was beginning to learn why. She knew how to drive right, just to start with.
“I’m going to make a guess here,” Tally suddenly stated. “Ian has, in some way, made a complete ass of his Trojan self and you haven’t regained your balance yet. When they do that, the only thing you can do is drown your sorrows in liquor and friendship and plan his downfall to the last detail. How close am I?”
Too close.
“Are they all alike?” She sighed, bemoaning the fact that she assumed Ian was somehow different from the others.
“Hell no,” Tally laughed. “They are as unique as they can get. But Ian is the hardest. The one least affected, from what I gather, by any emotion. Even Kimberly despairs of him. Did you know he’s often the third in her marriage with Jared Raddington?”
Damn, and she had liked Kimberly too.
“She’ll join us for lunch. I’m certain she’ll have some ideas on how to bring him to his knees. ”
“He’s fucked her and you want me to meet her?” Perhaps Tally wasn’t as intuitive as she was beginning to think.
The other woman’s lips curled in a smile of satisfaction. “Don’t worry, you’ll love Kimberly. And you’ll learn we have to stick together, or else they’ll drive us insane. And trust me, there’s no way to avoid her or get out of liking her. Jared is as close to Ian as anyone has ever managed. ”
Courtney frowned. “Let me guess, you’re the troublemaker of the group?”<
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“How did you guess?” An almost feline smile of accomplishment crossed her features, giving the unique planes and angles a decidedly wicked cast. “Now, settle back and relax. Ian will know you’re with me and that will make him crazy. He knows me. And he knows exactly what we’ll be plotting. We have to keep him off-guard, otherwise you’ll not have a chance at bringing him down. ”
Courtney wanted to shake her head, to somehow jerk herself back to reality rather than this strange conversation she was having.
“Who says I need help?”
Tally snorted. “Your eyes say it all, darling. And the fact that Ian left a meeting with Devril and Lucian to make you scream loud enough to bring down the rafters and echo into the office was clue enough. They called me, of course. ”
Courtney blinked back at her as she automatically braced herself at the next turn.
“They called you?”
“Of course. ” She shrugged. “We’ve been waiting for this for months. Ever since Ian learned you were visiting he’s been like a bear with a sore paw every time it was mentioned. You mean something to him, Courtney, but he’s fighting it. Ian could easily cut his own nose off to spite his face. His friends aren’t willing to watch that happen. ”
There was an edge of warning in her voice. “And neither are you, I assume?” That question was filled with more than casual curiosity.
Courtney narrowed her gaze on Tally, reading more now than a friendly invitation to anything. This was a carefully thought-out outing, with Tally Conover in the lead.
“So what was your plan?” She sat back in her seat, watching as Tally shot her a knowing look before she turned her attention back to the road.
“Ian’s fall, of course. ” Tally shrugged. “Let’s just say that Ian deserves to be toppled from his little seat of icy splendor. He should be as tortured and as tormented as he claims our husbands are. Now, when he taunts them into their little adventures to torture and torment us, he’ll think twice about it. ”
“What will you do when you can no longer plot Ian’s downfall?” Courtney suddenly laughed. She had a feeling Ian had given the women she was about to become very close friends with, just a bit of hell.
Tally flicked her a glance rife with mocking enjoyment. “We have a list, darling. His name wasn’t exactly the last one on it. ”
Now that sounded like fun.
“So today is a plotting session so to speak?” she ventured with no lack of amusement.
“That’s a good description. ” Tally nodded, obviously restraining her glee. “A plotting session. The first of many. ”
There wasn’t a chance in hell Courtney was going to miss out on this.
“Then let the games begin,” she laughed, suddenly more optimistic than she had been before leaving the house.
These women knew Ian, if nothing else, through their husbands. They would have the information she needed to hold the advantage she gained today. And right now, Courtney knew, she needed every advantage she could steal from him.
“She has left with Ms. Conover, sir. Should I have her followed?”
Ian stood silently before the wide windows of his office, his hands shoved in the pockets of his slacks as he frowned out at the dreary, cold day.
“Don’t bother, Jason,” he sighed. “Tally would know they were being followed and she would cause as much of a fuss as possible. ”
“If I may say so, sir. Ms. Mattlaw is proving to be a bit of a wildcard. I believe letting her out unattended could turn into a catastrophe. ”
Ian snorted at the understatement.
“Catastrophe would be a mild word if she learned she was being watched. As long as she’s with Tally, she’s reasonably safe. ”
He was aware of Jason’s bafflement at the initial order of the security measures he had placed Courtney. He had been unable to help himself. The past was a demon he couldn’t seem to shake, no matter how hard he tried.
“Was her safety in question, sir?” Jason’s tone was concerned now.