CHAPTER XI.
GIPSY OUTWITS THE SQUIRE.
"Then on his cheek the flush of rage O'ercame the ashen hue of age; Fierce he broke forth; 'And dar'st thou, then, To beard the lion in his den, The Douglas in his hall?'"--MARMION.
Gipsy rode along, singing gayly, and thinking, with an inward chuckle,of the towering rage which "Guardy" must be in. As she entered the yardshe encountered Jupiter, who looked upon her with eyes full of fear andwarning.
"Hallo, Jupe! I see you haven't 'shuffled off this mortal coil' yet, asLouis says. I suppose you got a blowing up last night, for coming homewithout me, eh?"
"Miss Roarer, honey, for mussy sake, don't 'front mas'r to-day,"exclaimed Jupiter, with upraised hands and eyes; "dar's no tellin' whathe might do, chile. I 'vises you to go to bed an' say you's sick, orsomefin, caze he'd jes' as lief kill you as not, he's so t'arin' mad."
"Nonsense, you old simpleton! Do you think I'd tell such a lie? Let himrage; I'll rage too, and keep him in countenance."
"Miss Roarer, if you does, dar'll be bloodshed, and den I'll be took upfor all--I knows dar will," said poor Jupiter, in a whimpering tone."Dis comes' o' livin' with ladies what ain't ladies, and old gen'lemenwhat's got de old boy's temper in dem."
"Why, you old good-for-nothing, do you mean to say I'm not a lady!"exclaimed Gipsy, indignantly.
"Jes' so, Miss Roarer, I don't care ef yer does whip me--dar! S'pose alady, a _real_ lady, would go for to shoot a poor nigger what ain't adoing no harm to nobody, or go ridin' out all hours ob de night as _you_do. No! stands to reason, dey wouldn't, an' dat's de trufe now, ef I_is_ a good-for-nothin'. Dar!"
"You aggravating old Jupiter, you, I'll _dar_ you if you give me anymore of your impudence," said Gipsy, flourishing her whip over her head.
"Miss Roarer," began Jupiter, adroitly ducking his head to avoid a blow.
"Silence, sir! Don't 'Miss Roarer' me. Keep your advice till it's calledfor, and take Mignonne off to the stables, an' rub him down well; and ifyou leave one speck of dust on him, I'll leave you to guess what I'll doto you." And so saying, Gipsy gathered up her riding-habit in her hand,and ran up the broad step, singing at the top of her voice:
"Oh! whistle and I'll come to you, my lad, Oh! whistle and I'll come to you, my lad; Though Guardy and aunty, an' a' should go mad, Just whistle an' I'll come to you, my lad."
"Gipsy, Gipsy, hush, child! Your guardian is dreadfully angry with you,and will punish you very severely, I'm afraid," said Mrs. Gower,suddenly appearing from the dining-room. "This reckless levity will makematters worse if he hears you. Oh, Gipsy, how could you do such anoutrageous thing?"
"La, aunty! I haven't done any 'outrageous thing' that I know of."
"Oh, child! you know it was very wrong, _very_ wrong, of you, indeed, tostay at Deep Dale all night against his express commands."
"Now, aunty, I don't see anything very wrong at all about it. I onlywanted to have a little fun."
"Fun! Oh! you provoking little goose! he'll punish you very severely,I'm certain."
"Well, let him, then. I don't care. I'll pay him off for it sometime--see if I don't. What do you s'pose he'll do to me, aunty? Have metried by court-martial, or hold a coroner's inquest on top of me, orwhat?"
"He is going to lock you up in that old lumber-room, up in the attic,and keep you there on bread and water, he says."
"Well, now, I'll leave it to everybody, if that isn't barbarous. It'sjust the way the stony-hearted fathers in the story-books do to theirdaughters, when they fall in love, and then their beaus come, filledwith love and rope-ladders, and off they go through the window. I say,aunty, is there any chance for me to get through the window?"
"No, indeed, they are fastened outside with wooden shutters and ironbolts. There is no chance of escape, so you had best be very good andpenitent, and beg his pardon, and perhaps he may forgive you."
"Beg his pardon! Ha! ha! ha! aunty, I like that, wouldn't Archie laughif he heard it. Just fancy _me_, Gipsy Gower, down on my knees beforehim, whimpering and snuffling, and a tear in each eye, like a smallpotato, and begging his serene highness to forgive me, and I'll never doit again. Oh! goodness gracious, just fancy what a scene it would be!"
"You provoking little minx! I am sure any other little girl would begher guardian's pardon, when she knew she did wrong."
"But I _don't_ know that I've did wrong. On the contrary, I know I'vedid _right_; and I'm going to do it over again, the firstchance--there!"
"Oh, Gipsy!--child--you are perfectly incorrigible. I despair of everbeing able to do anything with you. As I told you before, I shouldn't besurprised if your guardian turned you out of doors for your conduct."
"And as I told _you_ before, aunty, I would not want better fun. ArchieRivers is going to West Point soon, and I'll go with him, and 'do mycountry some service' in the next war."
"If he turned you out, Gipsy, it would break my heart," said Mrs. Gower,plaintively.
"Yes, and I suppose it would break mine too, but I luckily don't happento have a heart," said Gipsy, who never by any chance could, as shecalled it, "do the sentimental." "However, aunty, let's live in thesublime hope that you'll break the necks of two or three hundredchickens and geese, before you break your own heart yet. And I protest,here comes Guardy, stamping and fuming up the lawn. Clear out, aunty,for I expect he'll hurl the whole of the Proverbs of Solomon at my head,and one of 'em might chance to hit you. Go, aunty, I want to fight myown battles; and if I don't come off with drums beating and colorsflying, it'll be a caution! Hooray!"
And Gipsy waved her plumed hat above her head, and whirled round theroom in a defiant waltz.
She was suddenly interrupted by the entrance of the squire, who,thrusting both hands into his coat pockets, stood flaming with ragebefore her; whereupon Gipsy, plunging her hands into the pockets of herriding-habit, planted both feet firmly on the ground, and confronted himwith a dignified frown, and an awful expression of countenancegenerally, and to his amazement, burst out with:
"You unprincipled, abandoned, benighted, befuddled old gentleman! howdare you have the impudence, the effrontery, the brazenness, theimpertinence, the--the--everything-else! to show your face to me afteryour outrageous, your unheard-of, your monstrous, your--yes, I will sayit--diabolical conduct yesterday! Yes, sir! I repeat it, sir--I'm amazedat your effrontery, after sending a poor, unfortunate, friendless,degenerate son of Africa through the tremendous rain, the roaringlightning, the flashing thunder, the silent winds, in search of me, tostand there, looking no more ashamed of yourself than if you weren't afair blot on the foul face of creation! Answer me, old gentleman, andforever afterward hold thy peace!"
"You abominable little wretch! You incarnate little fiend, you! Youimpish little imp, you! I'll thrash you within an inch of your life!"roared the old man, purple with rage.
"Look out, Guardy, you'll completely founder the English language, ifyou don't take care," interrupted Gipsy.
"You impudent little vixen! I'll make you repent yesterday's conduct,"thundered the squire, catching her by the shoulder and shaking her tillshe was breathless.
"Loo--loo--look here, old gentleman, do--do--don't you try that again!"stuttered Gipsy, panting for breath, and wrenching herself, by apowerful jerk, free from his grasp.
"Why didn't you come home when I sent for you? Answer me that, or Iwon't leave a sound bone in your body. Now, then!"
"Well, Guardy, to tell the truth, it was because I didn't choose to.Now, then!"
"You--you--you incomparable little impudence, I'll fairly murder you!"shouted the squire, raising his hand in his rage to strike her a blow,which would assuredly have killed her; but Gipsy adroitly dodged, andhis hand fell with stunning force on the hall table.
With something between a howl and a yell, he started after her as sheran screaming with laughter; and seizing her in a corner, where she hadsunk down exhausted and powerless with her inward convulsions, he shookher until he could shake her no longer.
"I'll lock you up! I'll turn you out of doors! I'll thrash you while Iam able to stand over you! No, I won't thrash a woman in my own house,but I'll lock you up and starve you to death. I'll be hanged if Idon't!"
"You'll be hanged if you do, you mean."
"Come along; we'll see what effect hunger and solitary confinement willhave on your high spirits, my lady," said the squire, seizing her by thearm and dragging her along.
"Guardy, if you do, my ghost'll haunt you every night, just as sure asshooting," said Gipsy, solemnly.
"What do I care about you or your ghost! Come along. 'The unrighteousshall not live out half their days,' as Solomon says; therefore it'saccording to Scripture, and no fault of mine if you don't live long."
"Solomon was never locked up in a garret," said Gipsy, thrusting herknuckles in her eyes and beginning to sob, "and he don't know anythingabout it. It's real hateful of you to lock me up--now! But it's justlike you, you always were an ugly old wretch every way." Sob, sob, sob.
"That's right, talk away! You can talk and scold as much as you like tothe four bare walls presently," said the squire, dragging her along.
"You're a hateful old monster! I wish you were far enough--I just do!and I don't care if I'm taken up for defamation of character--so, there!Boo, hoo--a hoo--a hoo," sobbed, and wept, and scolded Gipsy, as thesquire, inwardly chuckling, led her to her place of captivity.
They reached it at length; a large empty room without a single articleof furniture, even without a chair. It was quite dark, too, for thewindows were both nailed up, and the room was situated in the remotestportion of the building, where, let poor Gipsy cry and scream as shepleased, she could not be heard.
On entering her prison, Gipsy ceased her sobs for a moment to glancearound, and her blank look of dismay at the aspect of her prison, threwthe squire into a fit of laughter.
"So," he chuckled, "you're caught at last. Now, here you may stay tillnight, and I hope by that time I'll have taken a little of the mischiefout of you."
"And I'll have nothing to pass the time," wept Gipsy. "Mayn't I go downstairs and get a book?"
"Ha! ha! ha! No. I rather think you mayn't. Perhaps I may bring you upone by and by," said the squire, never stopping to think how Gipsy wasto read in the dark.
"Look up there on that shelf, I can't reach; there's one, I think," saidGipsy, whose keen eye had caught sight of an old newspaper lying on thespot indicated.
The squire made a step forward to reach it, and like an arrow sped froma bow, at the same instant, Gipsy darted across the room, out throughthe open door. Ere the squire could turn round, he heard the door slamto, and he was caught in his own trap, while a triumphant shout, adelighted "hurrah!" reached his ear from without.
The squire rushed frantically to the door, and shook, and pulled, andswore, and threatened and shouted, to all of which Gipsy answered bytantalizingly asking him whether he'd come out now, or wait till shelet him. Then, finding threats of no avail, he betook himself tocoaxing; and wheedled, and persuaded, and promised, and flattered, butequally in vain, for Gipsy replied that she wouldn't if she could,couldn't if she would, for that she had thrown the key as far as shecould pitch it, out of the window, among the shrubs in thegarden--where, as she wasn't in the habit of looking for needles inhay-stacks, she thought it quite useless searching for it; and ended bydelivering him a lecture on the virtue of patience and the beauty ofChristian resignation. And after exhorting him to improve his temper, ifpossible, during his confinement, as she was going over to spend the dayat Dr. Spider's and teach Miss Hagar's little girl to ride, she went offand left him, stamping, and swearing, and foaming, in a manner quiteawful to listen to.
True to her word, Gipsy privately sought the stables, saddled Mignonneherself, and rode off, without being observed, to spend the day at DeepDale. The absence of the squire was noticed; but it was supposed he hadridden off on business after locking up Gipsy, and therefore it createdno surprise. As he had positively forbidden any one in the house to gonear her prison, no one went; and it was only when Gipsy returned homelate at night that she learned, to her surprise and alarm, he had notyet been liberated. The door was forced open by Jupiter, and the squirewas found lying on the floor, having raged himself into a state thatquite prevented him from "murdering" Gipsy as he had threatened. Two orthree days elapsed before "Richard" became "himself again;" and nightand day Gipsy hovered over his bedside--the quietest, the most attentivelittle nurse that ever was seen, quite unalarmed by his throwing thepillow, the gruel and pill-boxes at her head every time she appeared inhis sight.