“Brody . . .” I trailed off, not knowing what to say.
The muscles in his jaw worked a few times before he finally turned to look at me. “Do you know how much I hate that I couldn’t walk out there and tell her that you belong to me? That my sister-in-law and brother still think something might happen with you and Aiden Donnelly?”
Oh, I’m pretty sure I had an idea. He hated that they wanted me to date someone? I hated that he was married. My body temperature started rising, and it had nothing to do with the way Brody and I hadn’t been able to get enough of each other not even five minutes before. I was back to hating this situation, hating that I couldn’t claim him as mine, hating that I had to share him with another woman.
I blinked hard against the sudden tears that pooled in my eyes and moved to the cupcakes that were waiting to be filled and frosted. “I really need to finish these and go home to change into whatever outfit Kinlee picked out for me.”
A few tense moments passed before Brody let out a huff, then moved so he was behind me again. With a soft kiss to my cheek, he wrapped his strong arms around me and pinned my body to his. “I need to warn you now. If I see him touch you, then everyone will be finding out about us tonight. I won’t be able to hold myself back, Kamryn.”
Part of me wanted to lash out at him, and my body froze when I realized I felt that way. I’d never wanted to use our situation, or Brody’s marriage, against him . . . and now that I was, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. As I fought with myself over my feelings Brody whispered in my ear . . . and the agony in his three words broke me.
“I hate this.” His voice broke in the middle, and the tears that had flooded my eyes earlier rolled down my cheeks.
Three words we’d both used plenty of times over the last month and a half. But his tone, mixed with the way his grip tightened and his body trembled against mine, was breaking me. My anger faded immediately, and I turned in his arms to drop my forehead to his chest.
“I do too.”
Brody held me in his arms for a few minutes before kissing the top of my head. “One day everyone will know. One day it will just be you and me. One day this will all be behind us.”
When no words left my lips, I simply nodded against his chest as I replayed the words he’d already promised me so many times.
“I’ll be waiting for you at their house, Kamryn. Don’t be too long.”
I felt empty as soon as he released me, and the second I heard the chime from the door as he left I let loose the pained sobs that had been building up in my chest. I continued to tell myself that he was right, that we would be together soon. But a small part of me was beginning to doubt my ability to keep this going. I didn’t know how much longer I could handle all the guilt, secrets, and days alone wishing for things to be different.
A LITTLE OVER an hour later I was pulling up to Jace and Kinlee’s house, my pulse drumming quickly. I parked behind Brody’s SUV and sat there for a few minutes, just staring at it and telling myself that I could get through tonight. I could get through a night of being so close to him and, at the same time, so far away from him.
I’m meeting his parents tonight. I’m meeting his parents and will have to look them in the eye knowing I’m having an affair with their son. I can’t do this, I can’t do this! I quickly reached for the keys still in the ignition and started to turn them when a truck pulled up behind me. With a defeated sigh, I let my hand drop for a few seconds before pulling the keys out of the ignition. Reaching for the door handle, I jumped back and a startled scream tore from my chest when someone knocked on the window.
Aiden jumped away from the car and held his arms up like he was surrendering, and I sent him a shaky smile as I shook my head.
“You trying to give a girl a heart attack?” I asked as I opened the door.
He laughed and stepped toward me with a hand stretched out. “Hardly. I just pulled up and saw you sitting in here. Jace said you were bringing cupcakes, so I thought I’d ask if you needed help.”
I took his hand and let him help me from my car and wrapped my arms around his waist when he pulled me in for a hug. Leaning back, he looked down at me with a soft grin, and it suddenly felt like I was too close to him.
“How’ve you been?” he asked, his voice low and barely audible.
Putting one hand to his chest, I pushed back until he released me. “Good. Busy, but good. How about you?”
The slight tilt to his lips fell, and he looked away as he realized I was distancing myself. Nodding twice, he glanced back at me and tried to smile again, but it fell flat. His words sounded rough but full of understanding when he stated, “You still belong to someone else.”
It hadn’t been a question, but I responded anyway. “I do.”
With another nod, he shot me a smile, this one genuine. “Well, it’s still great to see you, KC, and you look beautiful.” Before another awkward silence could come between us, he shut my door and walked to the back. “What do you say we get the dessert taken in?”
“Aiden,” I whispered. He stopped walking, but didn’t look back at me. “I don’t want you to waste time waiting for me. You should find someone who can be with you.”
Turning, he shrugged. “If I find someone, then I find someone. But until then, I’d rather spend the time I have away from work waiting for you to realize you’re in love with me,” he said teasingly.
Whether he actually meant those words or not, I was glad the heaviness between us had been lifted, and I laughed as I opened the back of my car. Using the same teasing tone, I leaned forward to grab a couple of the boxes. “And what if I told you it was never going to happen? Would you stop then?”
“Ugh.” He stumbled back from the car and gripped at his chest. “You’re wounding my ego, KC.”
“Oh, I’m sure that was a big blow to it.”
“The worst.” He sighed dramatically, but shot me a wink. “I’m not sure if I can go on after that kind of dismissal.”
I laughed and pushed him away when he draped a heavy arm over my shoulders. “Toughen up, Donnelly. I need help taking these boxes in, and I doubt a firefighter turned princess is up for the job.”
“Princess, huh?”
Turning my head to look at him, I eyed him and sucked air between my teeth before mouthing, Princess.
He laughed loudly and grabbed most of the boxes. “Better watch yourself, KC, I’ll force-feed you one of the cupcakes in front of everyone.”
I gasped and shifted the boxes to one arm so I could close up and lock my SUV. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I don’t know . . . in the last three minutes you crushed what little ego I had, and then called me a princess. I think that calls for a show of you eating your cupcakes.”
Groaning, I followed him up the walkway to the house. “I hate Kinlee for telling y’all that.”
“I sure as hell don’t. It’s now my mission in life to watch you eat something sweet.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“We’ll see.” He smiled widely and laughed when I rolled my eyes. Opening the door, he stepped back to let me in first, and I wished he hadn’t.
Brody was standing just inside the living room with Jace and a few other guys I didn’t know. Since Aiden wasn’t blocking my view of him, I watched as his eyes lit up when he saw me . . . then saw all expression leave his face when he noticed the man behind me.
I heard Jace say my name and Aiden begin talking with the guys standing there, but I wasn’t able to focus on anything else as I stared at Brody. He wasn’t even looking at me anymore. His eyes were pinned to Aiden, and the jealousy there was apparent.
I knew if I stood there waiting for him to acknowledge me again, someone was bound to notice, so I straightened myself and walked into the kitchen so I could put the boxes down. Aiden was there setting the rest on the counter when I turned, and I thanked him before opening them up and putting them out on the platters Kinlee had waiting.
My head jerked up as I heard Bro
dy’s name being called, and I watched as he walked over to someone I assumed was his mother.
Kinlee came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me. “Don’t you look hot!”
I laughed and looked back at her. “Thanks for the outfit, Lee.”
“I saw Aiden helping you inside . . .” She drifted off, her voice full of meaning.
“Nothing happened, and nothing is going to happen. I told you, he’s just not it for me.” Kinlee scoffed, but before she could say anything I jerked my head toward Jace, Brody, and the two women they were standing with. “What’s going on over there?” And why does Brody look pissed?
“Oh, that’s my mother-in-law. Every time she sees Brody, she tries to get him to leave Olivia by setting him up with someone else. I guess Julia is the poor soul she’s set her sights on this time.”
I was going to throw up. Or yank Julia away from Brody. I hadn’t decided yet. Forcing myself to unclench my jaw, I tried to sound like I didn’t care either way. “Why do you say ‘poor soul’?”
“Because every time his mom tries to set him up with someone else, the girl gets excited at the thought of being with Brody, only to be turned down. We all want Brody away from Olivia, we would love to see him with anyone else. But no matter how much he hates that woman, he’s never going to leave her.”
Throwing up. Definitely throwing up. My heart was currently residing in my stomach, and my stomach was churning. It wasn’t a good feeling, and throughout all of it I had to retain my unaffected facade.
Brody looked over at me for a few seconds, before looking back to his mom, who was animatedly talking about Julia’s successes. But in those few seconds I saw everything I was feeling reflected back at me.
Swallowing down my anger, I turned and grabbed Kinlee’s shoulder as I gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I forgot something in my car, I’ll be back. Happy birthday, Lee.”
“Do you want Aiden to help you?” she asked too loudly.
I cringed and turned to see both Aiden and Brody looking at me. Aiden’s expression was expectant, while Brody’s was livid.
“No, I’m fine. It’s just my purse.” I waved Aiden and Kinlee off and tried not to look at Brody again as I turned and walked quickly across the kitchen, through the dark dining room, and to the entryway. As soon as I was outside I let out an angry huff and balled my hands into fists before pressing them against my churning stomach.
Putting a hand to the passenger side of my car for a couple minutes, I held myself up and dropped my head as I took deep breaths in and out. As if it wasn’t enough what Brody and I were already doing . . . what we were already going through . . . now I had to watch his mom try to push other women on him?
My biggest worry for tonight had been keeping myself away from him when he would be so close to me. It hadn’t occurred to me that I’d be silently fighting for him.
Straightening up, I mentally shook myself and opened the door to grab my purse sitting on the floorboard before shutting the door and locking my car again. I couldn’t let this rule my night. Tonight was about Kinlee. Letting my situation with Brody get in the way of her birthday wasn’t fair to her.
As soon as I walked back into the house a warm hand clamped down on my wrist and pulled me into the darkened dining room. His full lips pressed against mine, and for a few seconds I let myself get lost in that kiss. But then I remembered where we were, and who was with us.
“What are you doing?” I hissed when I broke off the kiss.
“Why did you come with Donnelly?”
“Are you kidding me, Brody? He pulled in behind me and helped me in. Nothing more.”
His eyes roamed my face for a few seconds. “Jace said Aiden—”
“I don’t care what Jace said!” I cut him off. “Why didn’t you tell me your mother is trying to set you up with other women? Why didn’t you warn me that would be happening tonight?”
Brody sighed and pressed his body closer to mine. “I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking about it. To be honest, all I could think about was that Aiden would be here tonight and my sister-in-law and brother want you with him.”
“Well, it looks like we’re even tonight then. You don’t like that they want me with him, and I don’t like that I have to watch your mom push another girl on you.”
Despite my anger, he smirked and brushed back some of my bangs. “Who knows? Maybe one day she’ll push you on me.”
Putting my hands on his chest, I tried to shove him away, but he didn’t move. “That’s not funny, Brody, and you know it,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Kam, it was a joke.”
“I don’t want to be this person. I don’t want to be seen as the girl who breaks up a marriage, you know that. So don’t make light of something that you know is killing me.”
“Babe. You’re not breaking up a marriage. You’re making me feel alive for the first time in years. I’m sorry for joking, but if we can’t joke about it, it’s going to keep driving us crazy and put more strain on our relationship until we can be together.”
I cleared my throat and shook my head as a sad smile pulled at my lips. “There is nothing about us, or our situation, that can possibly be found funny.”
“Kamryn,” he whispered. “I—”
“I need to get back to Kinlee,” I said suddenly, and this time when I pushed, he let me go and stumbled back.
I didn’t want to hash out everything with Brody right now. If we did, I would undoubtedly end up crying, and that would raise questions. I needed to focus on my best friend. Yes . . . I needed to focus on her and for a few hours try to forget about the pain, heartache, jealousy, and guilt that were slowly unfurling in my stomach—even with Brody here.
Brody
June 15, 2015
AFTER SHUTTING AND locking the front door, I trudged into the kitchen and dropped the box of cupcakes on the island. Tonight had been a disaster. I’d been so on edge watching Kamryn and Aiden, ready to rip him away from her if he touched her, that I’d been shaking for the better part of the night. But whenever Kamryn’s eyes would meet mine, the adrenaline would quickly fade from my body and a deep ache would fill my chest as those blue eyes reminded me how much I’d fucked up earlier.
I hated that she’d seen my mom try to set me up with Julia, a girl I’d grown up with. I hated that I’d made it worse by joking about it. I hated that the woman I loved had to go through so much pain because of me. And I hated that I still hadn’t told her I loved her.
We both knew. If we weren’t in love with each other, we wouldn’t be doing what we were doing. We showed it in touches, kisses, and looks. But realizing I hadn’t told her as she walked away from me tonight had made it nearly impossible to go the next three hours without grabbing her and telling her in front of everyone.
Rubbing my hands over my face, I walked back to my room and stripped my clothes off before taking a hot shower. The entire time my body and mind were willing me to get back in the car and go to her.
But Olivia was home, and even though I hadn’t seen her, she’d probably heard me. If I left again at eleven at night, I had no doubt she’d be calling me screaming within minutes.
As soon as I was done with my shower I dried off and pulled a pair of shorts on before going back to the kitchen. I stopped midstep and my blood ran cold when I saw Liv sitting on the counter in nothing but a bra and underwear. She was holding one of the cupcakes and sensually licking the frosting off her finger as her eyes bore into mine.
“I’ve missed you, Brody,” she whined, and her lips formed a pout.
“What are you doing, Liv?”
She spread her legs, but I never looked away from her face. “I thought we could have some fun with the cupcakes you brought back for me.”
I didn’t even bother telling her they weren’t for her. That would just make her start screaming sooner.
“Mmm, God, these are so good.”
My stomach turned at her over-the-top moans, and I forced myself to take calming
breaths so I wouldn’t get sick.
“You haven’t eaten food off me in a while, baby.”
One of my eyebrows rose at her statement, but before I could say anything she was talking again.
“Is that what these are for?” She placed the cupcake down and reached behind her to unhook her bra before letting it fall to the floor. Grabbing the cupcake back up, she licked at the frosting and then licked her lips.
God, she was about to ruin Kamryn’s cupcakes for me forever. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Liv. I’ve never eaten food off you.”
Her blue eyes widened, and her screech was the only warning I had before she was launching the cupcake at me. I ducked, and the cupcake slammed into the wall behind me.
“What the hell, Olivia?” I shouted and was hit in the chest with another one when I straightened. “Stop throwing shit!” Taking large steps forward, I grabbed the box from next to her and yanked it away before tossing it back on the island where I’d left it.
“Why won’t you?”
“What?”
“Why won’t you eat food off me anymore? Is it because I’m not good enough for you? Is it because of Tate? Because you can’t stand to look at me now?” Each question was shriller than the last, and I fought the urge to cover my ears against the noise.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about! I’ve never eaten food off you. You’re obviously mistaking me for someone else!”
“How could you, Brody?” she screamed and got off the counter. “How dare you tell your own wife that she’s no longer good enough for you?!”
I stood there with my mouth hanging open as she stormed past me and ran down the hall, slamming her bedroom door shut.
What in the fuck just happened?
It took a couple minutes to gather myself enough to grab a wet towel to clean up the cupcake on the wall and floor, and as I stood back up from cleaning the last smudges and pieces I felt a naked body press to my back.