My brother has left me alone for now. He said he needed to do something, so he wished me luck and went off on his own. I’m glad he left because I don’t like being watched while I do my job. Even though I am full of rage for Jasmine, I keep my appearance composed.
I dig my fingernails into my palm when I have waited for nearly twenty minutes already. Break time ends in ten minutes, and I grow impatient every time I hear Jasmine start another conversation with her friends. A part of me feels envious when they laugh together in happiness. Should I have listened to Jasmine back then? Should I have ignored her the first time we saw each other? What virtuous memories lie within her? Or is she virtuous at all?
For all my life, memories of other people have driven me to live. That is what keeps my body moving. So if I were to lose this power, there would be no reason for me to live. I would rather shatter than be shattered.
I snap back to my senses when I spot Jasmine rising from her chair, still laughing, but finally rising. She must be going somewhere. I hope that place is private. If there are people I wouldn’t be able to finish the job. I cannot wait any longer. I don’t want Jasmine to continue gossiping about me. I have a couple years of school left, and I don’t want to spend that time in eternal loneliness.
I hide behind the wall as Jasmine passes by. She still has that sly smile on her face, making me grit my teeth in anger. I hate it when she smiles like that. It means she has just finished having a dirty talk about someone, and that someone is me.
I quietly trail Jasmine, hiding behind any object that is near. I feel a leap of excitement come over me when she enters the art room. The lights are out so it is dark. In other words, nobody is in there, not even the teacher. I smile when Jasmine does not bother to turn on the lights. She walks in, turning her head to every corner of the room as if she is looking for something. Jasmine takes art as a subject, so she must be looking for an artwork of hers. But that doesn’t bother me.
Before the door closes, I quietly hold it open and sneak in as fast as I can. I hide behind the teacher’s desk, waiting for my chance. I am aware that if Jasmine cannot find her artwork in the dark, she will turn on the lights. So I must find a chance before she does that.
I’m very surprised that Jasmine has not noticed me by now. I expected her to at least stop and glance behind her, but she did none of that throughout the time I’ve been following her. It’s strange.
I jolt when the lights flicker on. I feel my body running cold. I have missed my chance.
“Come out,” demands Jasmine. “I know you’re there.”
After a moment of thinking whether I should listen to her or not, I decide it is time for me to reveal myself. I rise from the desk and gaze into Jasmine’s glowered eyes.
“What do you want?” she asks irately. “I thought I made it clear to you that I don't want to be your friend if you won’t even listen to me.”
I look at her with an eyebrow raised. “You said nothing like that.”
Jasmine is left speechless. I can tell she is thinking back to the last time we’ve spoken to each other. She did not mention a thing. All she did was stand up and storm out of the classroom.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” I say and step closer to her. “I know.”
“You know what?”
“Everything.”
“About?”
“About your treachery. You’ve been doing things behind my back this whole time.” My expression darkens as I speak. “You’ve lied to me. You are two-faced.”
“That’s because you don’t listen to me!”
“And is that the reason why you would do this? Just because of that? You could’ve looked me in the eye and told me what you had against me instead of trash talking me in front of other people.”
Jasmine remains silent.
“Why didn’t you do that?”
She does not answer. She just continues to gaze at me angrily, but I can tell she is trying to think of a comeback.
“No,” I say and shake my head, “You had another reason. You want the whole school think ill of me, don’t you?”
“Shut up! I did not ask for your interrogation!”
I cover her mouth when she was loud. “Shh! Be quiet.”
Jasmine slaps my hand away and takes a couple of steps back. “You’re acting strange,” she says almost fearfully.
“I was always like this.” My hand instinctively moves to take off the glove on my right hand. “Desperate to see the truth beneath you.”
“W-What are you talking about?”
“Of all the memories I have witnessed through glass, yours is the one I desperately want to see. Just imagine what fancy memories you could have. If only I can shatter you, I would be able to see it.”
Jasmine frowns in confusion. “What are you doing? Are you practicing a poem or something? You’re so weird!”
Not letting her speak anymore, I violently grab her throat with my ungloved hand. Before she chokes, her body cracks. Veins of fissures instantly spread throughout her form. Jasmine stops breathing. Everything in her stops.
I take my hand away from her, letting her shatter completely. She breaks apart entirely in a million pieces of glass. I watch as the shards fall on the ground, smiling with triumph when I know I have won. All that’s left on the ground in front of me are shards of glass in various colors.
I lean down and carefully pick up an irregular shaped piece. I see an image appear on it. This is it. Jasmine’s memories.
“You left me no choice,” I say while picking up more shards of glass when memories display on them. “But I cannot let you roam around without a leash. I’m only glad that there wasn’t any pain.”
“I’m sure there wasn’t,” says a voice behind me.
I spin around, seeing my brother stand there with his phone filming me. Why is he filming? “I did it,” I state happily. “I…” I pause when my brother looks to me with discontent. “What’s the matter?”
“You are the matter.”
I frown in confusion. “What do you mean? I did as you said. I ended it.”
“And I will end you.”
I watch as my brother slips his phone back into his pocket. Only then do I realize his true intentions. “Hold on a second, you were filming this to get me caught, weren’t you? You’re going to turn me in!”
“You bet I will turn you in. People like you shouldn’t live in this world.”
“But…” I am both shocked and hurt when I hear this from my own brother. He was pretending this whole time. He lied to me. “So all this time you were using me? You’ve never once cared about me?”
His face expresses disgust and abhorrence. “You’re a monster. You may think you can beat anyone in the world, but you cannot defeat me.”
I tremble when he is right. I may possess an abnormal ability to turn people into glass and shatter them, but I have always been afraid to use it on people whom I care for.
I am in a terrible situation right now. I’m about to be turned in to the police, and the worst thing is, my brother has proof. He has filmed me shattering Jasmine into pieces.
This is bad. This is really, really bad. I don’t know what to do. The only way to keep myself safe is to steal his phone away.
“Brother, please,” I plead while taking a step closer to him. “You’ve always known how much I feared this part about me. I couldn’t choose. Please don’t turn me in. I will never shatter anyone again,” I say desperately.
“And how long do you intend to keep that promise? You shatter anything you touch.”
“I can wear my gloves!”
“That doesn't matter. You take them off immediately after you get tempted to glimpse at someone’s memories.”
I keep silent when this is true. Memories make me tempted to shatter. Memories alone can cause me to kill. “But I can’t help it,” I say a little softer this time. “I can’t control myself.”
“That is why you must die.”
A shock of fear springs
from my heart and fills through my entire body. My brother faintly laughs when he notices my moment of shock.
“Just look at yourself right now. You have killed so many, yet you are still afraid to die. Why don’t you just shatter yourself?”
“I don’t want to!”
“You said it yourself that there wouldn’t be any pain. I’ll let you choose. Shatter yourself and I won’t reveal the video, or turn yourself in. Which will it be?”
“What’s wrong with you?” I ask loudly. “What has gotten into you? You’re guiltier than I am! You have used me to shatter the people you hate. You are turning me in, yet you’ve used it yourself! Aren’t you ashamed?” I breathe heavily while trembling with anger. I feel so betrayed, angry and hurt.
“Well, no,” my brother says calmly. His face is blank, showing no sign of remorse. “Because you’re the one who was doing it. Not me.”
“That makes no difference.” My hands form into fists. “That makes no difference!”
“That makes a massive difference, idiot. You could’ve chosen not to kill all of those people, yet you did. You’ve caused so much pain, and I will put an end to it.”
“But it was your idea for me to do these things! You’ve manipulated me! It was you! It was all you!”
“If you die, there won’t have to be any manipulation, will there?”
I am left speechless. Once again, I agree with what he said. If I am in this world, all it will do is lure people into using me just like how I get tempted when I get interested in a memory.
“You reckless little sister. Do you really think you deserve to live after all those people you have shattered to death? I don’t think so.”
“Just stop,” I say shakily as tears begin to fill my eyes.
“Don’t you think your death will benefit the world? With you gone, the world can–”
“You’re just afraid of me, aren’t you?” I blurt out. “You fear my power, so you want to kill me. You’re not considering about the world! You are scared!” I dig my fingernails into my palm. “I don’t know what you’re planning to do after I die, but I will not let you turn me in! I’ll stop you myself!”
“And how do you intend to do that?” my brother asks while looking proud. “You wouldn’t hurt me no matter how hard you try.”
I hesitate to move from my place. All I have to do is take his phone away and shatter it. But how will I do that when he guards it?
“Well? What do you plan to do?”
“The same goes for you,” I say calmly this time. “You wouldn’t hurt me either. You are turning me in so the police can take care of me.”
“I don’t believe you’ve heard me before. You’re a monster.” My brother marches over to me and sends a powerful blow to my abdomen. I gasp for air as the pain and discomfort surges within me. I take a few steps back before collapsing on the ground. My brother steps over the shards of glass on the floor and slowly approaches me. “You think I wouldn't hurt you?” He holds up his fist. “This was something I’ve always wanted to do.”
Not caring about the pain on my stomach anymore, I get to my feet and run away from him. I step over the artworks laid around the room, careful not to step on any of them. “Please stop this madness!” I plead. “Don’t do this!”
My brother chases after me. “I’ve already made my decision. Now stay still!”
I look behind me to see him gaining up on me. He has always been a fast runner, ever since elementary school.
I pick up my pace. The last thing I would want is for someone to walk in on us.
I run past a table of exacto knives. Oh no… I should have taken one! Now my brother is going to use them. I hope he does not notice them.
I glance behind me to see him stopping by the table. He smirks when he sees the knives. “Oh, look. My job will be much easier now…” He gets interrupted as the door to the art room opens. Both of us pause and look to the door. A student walks in. However, she stops when she sees the two of us. “Hello,” she greets. “Have you seen Jasmine anywhere?”
My heart skips a beat. I look at my brother to see him smile and shake his head. “Nope, I didn’t.” He turns his gaze to me. “Right?”
“R-Right,” I agree when I get his mental message. “We didn't see her. She must have gone to the restroom or something.”
“Okay, thank you.” The student walks out from the door and closes it.
When I no longer hear her footsteps, I sigh in relief. “At least she did not notice the shards of glass.”
Suddenly, a knife flies right past my face.
“Whoa!” I stumble back a few steps and look to my brother. “What are you…”
“Oh, did I miss you? That’s a shame,” he says and takes another exacto knife from the jar.
“Why can’t you understand that I couldn’t choose to be like this?”
“And why can’t you understand that I have chosen to end you?”
Rage rises within me. My brother is no longer listening to me. This has been his plan all along, to lure me into shattering Jasmine so he could film me and turn me in.
I fearfully move out of the way when he throws another exacto knife at me. I’m lucky that I have played lots of sports in the past, so I have good hand-eye coordination. But I still have to guess where the knife is going to go, judging by how my brother holds it. I am relying too much on luck.
Feeling unconfident about predicting the knives’ course, I run behind different objects, ranging from cabinets, shelves, chairs and even cardboard boxes. I’m going to have a hard time explaining why holes have been riddled in those…
“Stay still,” he says when he continues to miss me. I ignore him. I know it is only a matter of time before he runs out of knives. Sooner or later he will have to stop.
I peek out from behind the whiteboard. “Stop this, please! You’re being the monster!”
My brother speedily walks to the whiteboard when he has run out of knives. He shoves the board aside and grabs my arm. “Don’t you see? You’re the monster! As long as you’re here, you’ll be making a monster out of all of us!”
I struggle to get out of his grasp. “I won’t let anyone manipulate me anymore!”
“Oh really?”
“I want to live!”
“I’m afraid you no longer have a choice.” He picks up the exacto knife from the ground and slams me against the wall. “I’ll show you just how much I would dare to hurt you!”
“Stop!” I scream and hold my hand out to the knife like a shield as it reaches me. When the blade contacts my palm, I feel no pain. The knife cracks and shatters into a dozen of pieces. My brother immediately lets me go of me and stumbles back. He tries to get away, but trips over a stool and falls hard against the floor. Without thinking, I take my chance to stop him once and for all. I lunge towards him, bringing my hand to his face. I ignore my brother’s fearful look as his eyes plead for mercy. I can see through that. I will never trust that look again. Never!
He cries out when my hand contacts his forehead. But he is instantly silenced when fissures line throughout his body.
Not letting my feelings get in the way just yet, I shatter him into pieces just like how I did with Jasmine. I watch as the shards of glass fall bit by bit onto the floor, my initial thoughts returning to me once again. “What…have I done?” I mumble to myself quietly. I collapse on my knees. Tears fill my eyes as I pick up the pieces that had once belonged to my brother, not carrying that it cuts my fingers.
I was too angry and afraid to realize my actions. If I hadn’t provoked him, he wouldn’t have attacked me. I should have let him go and find another way to steal his phone. But by then I would have been too late because the police would’ve caught me already.
Did I do the right thing? Was this out of self-defense or offense?
Whatever I want dies…
Whatever I touch breaks…
Whoever I care for leaves…
I will never trust anyone again. I don’t want this
to happen again. I don’t want to see whom I care for shatter before me. I don’t want life to shatter before me.
I stare into the glass shard, glimpsing at a piece of my brother’s memory. My hands tremble when there is only one thing I see. One thing my brother has felt all this time. Guilt.
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