CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
GUJI
“I think I‘m going crazy.”
I keep on turning the glass I’m holding upside down and up again, and I think Yvan’s getting my point of going crazy. He chuckled as he placed a hand over my glass which stopped me from what I’m doing.
“Let me hear that,”
I sighed. “I’m having these sudden urges toward Janella and I just can’t help them. I always want to be so near to her, to touch her skin, to hold her tight to myself – ARGH! Tell me that’s normal, tell me!”
“Oh you’re in love –”
“I get crazy even when I’m just seeing her lips move that I want to bite them. Whenever I’m with her, I get breathless. Is that okay? Am I okay?”
“You’re in love with her –”
“She’s like ugh how do I put this?” I stood up and paced to and fro, hands on pockets. I went through my mental dictionary and searched for the right word. Then I got one. “She’s like a magnet! I’m a metal and she’s a magnet, luring me to her and making me want to stay. That Foot Face, what kind of witchcraft is she doing to me?”
“You are so in love –”
“Yvan, bro.” I held both of his shoulders and let out a growl of frustration. “What’s happening to me?!”
“You know what? I think you have a problem only you know how to solve. You have an illness, Guji. Go to her now then you’ll find the answer.”
“What? What’s that?”
Yvan laughed so hard and I don’t understand him. I smacked his shoulder but he didn’t stop laughing. I’m getting irritated. “What’s so funny, huh? What do you mean by that? Fuck, stop laughing!”
“You’re impossible.” He stood up and patted my back. He turned to leave, still laughing. I scratched my head while I think about what he has said.
I have an illness?
MAGGIE
Today I stayed at home because it’s raining outside.
In times like this, I usually enjoy drinking a cup of coffee and watching the rain outside my window. The rain fascinates me in a way I don’t know. It calms my mind.
I breathed out warm air in the glass and a circle of vapor was formed. I scribbled a name on it. Surprised with myself, I erased it at once.
Why did I write Guji’s name on it?
I quickly finished my drink and stood up. When I was about to turn my back, I saw someone standing in front of our gate. I let out a scream and the man looked at my direction. He raised his hand, and I gasped.
In a hurry, I looked for an umbrella and when I found one, I ran outside to meet him.
“Why the hell are you here? Do you really want to get sick that bad?” I placed the umbrella over him, though I’m sure that it won’t change the fact that he’s already soaked. He’s just looking down on me, his eyebrows knitted at the center. He looked rather stupid than problematic though. When I grew impatient, I smacked his arm and that made him complain in pain.
“What’s that for?!” Guji exclaimed, rubbing the pain off his arm.
“Why are you here?”
“Well,” he looked down and played with rainwater. “Can I go inside –”
“No.”
“What?! Why can’t I go inside? I’m cold!”
“So?” He was about to shout at me when I decided to drag him inside. I could not, of course, let him go home soaking wet and cold.
I made him sit on our sofa with a towel underneath him. I got another towel and covered him with it. I used another one to dry his hair up. I was about to go to my room and search for clothes he could use for a while but Guji caught my arm.
“Stay with me.”
My eyes widened at that and my heart galloped. He even looked up to me and said, “I’m figuring things out right now. So stay with me.”
I don’t know if I blushed a million times red and sat beside him or if I told him he’s stupid and sat beside him because I really can’t remember. When he said he was figuring things out, he didn’t mean to just sit on my sofa, did he? But he did. He just sat on my sofa and stared at the wall in front of him, until I felt his head on top of my shoulder. That made my heart went straight to heaven.
I tried to take his head off my shoulder but that made everything even worse. His head did fall off my shoulder only to land on my lap. ON MY LAP. I went hysterical because he’s sleeping on my lap and he looked cute. No one has ever slept on my lap and I’m feeling giddy. It’s a gesture of intimacy and I’m uncomfortable with it.
And I am feeling really uncomfortable with it right now.
I clenched, unclenched my fists and controlled my breathing, thinking that he’ll wake up soon enough and this will be all over. But he did not wake up until thirty minutes. I was watching him breathed in and out, and was tempted to touch his cheek when suddenly he opened his eyes. Our eyes met for a moment. Then he suddenly sat up and removed all the towels I’ve just covered him with.
He stood up and told me he’ll leave. But I stopped him.
“Do you want a cup of coffee before you go?” I asked him.
“No. This illness can’t be healed by coffee,”
My mouth was hanging open since he left. What kind of illness could that be?
One day, Guji and I talked about life which is very unusual, weird, peculiar, and all of their synonyms.
“Why do you live?” he asked me, staring out to the green field.
“Why do you live?”
“Well, I only live to die.” He cocked his head to look down on me. “You know me. I cause troubles, I don’t care who I hurt. And of course, I know someone out there would come back for me, to kill me. That’s what I’m waiting for, you see?”
“It must be hard to be like you,”
“No. It’s hard to be like you. You always look for things that would make you happy, always wanting to move forward –” I cut him off as soon as I find him ridiculous. I said, “No, you’re wrong. I don’t have a purpose.”
I stood up and picked up a soccer ball. I dribbled it like a basketball then passed it to Guji. He caught it, his eyebrows creased in confusion.
“I only live because I always wake up,” I continued saying. “Not because I want to wake up, but because my body wakes up. It is two different things.”
“I never thought you could be that deep, Foot Face.”
“Come to think of it… we’re both out of it. The will to live, yes? I’m so tired of waking up,”
Guji stood up and walked up to me, handing the ball. He smiled while scratching the back of his head. “Let’s not do this again. Talking about serious things. It’s not fun,”
“You’re weird.” I let the ball fell out of my hand and started running with it. Guji ran after me and together, we played soccer.
I can’t stand make-up.
Kate and Nikki had experimented on me in the last six days and told me that I should look good in front of the Villanueva clan. Geez, I hate parties of the high society clans. They’re so poised, talked more of businesses, and care little about people outside their realm.
I don’t fit in there.
I’m not poised, I know nothing about business, and I don’t care about people in and out of my realm. They would hate me.
“Act nicely there!” Nikki scolded me. “Don’t be such a clown. You’re in another’s territory.”
“I won’t even speak, duh?”
“Don’t duh me!” She hit me with the end of her brush which by the way hurts a lot. “Don’t make Guji’s Grandma beat him to death, okay?”
“K.”
Guji’s the first son of Grandma’s last daughter, Reinzia. And being that, he’s the most loved. Most cared of. But he wasn’t fond of any of it. He’s aloof to his kin and spends most of his time causing trouble. So Grandma tried to be like a devil to his grandson which rendered her effective. Guji grew afraid of her.
“What if she discovers that we’re just acting like we’re a couple? That would be the end of me. A little bit of concern, please?”
/> “What do you want? You’ll see Guji married to another girl at age 19 or you’ll bear with this situation like a boss?”
“I choose Option A – OUCH!”
“You don’t know what Guji feels right now so please choose Option B.”
“Why did you even ask me if you already have the answer – OUCH! Hey, you’re being harsh to me!”
I just rolled my eyes at Nikki who’s busy making me beautiful, or what’s their term for this? Presentable. Yep, presentable. Like a meal set forth to a Majesty.
If it wasn’t for Guji who was threatened to be married into some stranger I wouldn’t do this. I owe him a lot of things, headaches and heartaches, so I have to do this as repayment. And of course, he’s my friend. I don’t want to see him be married to some stranger we’ll just know by name. Screw those fixed marriages up, please.
But still, I hate this situation.
I hate make-up. I hate full-length dresses. I hate attention.
I hate fake relationship statuses.
GUJI
Grandma was serious on setting me up on blind dates if I don’t show her a girlfriend of my own, not just an imaginary one, but a real one with flesh and blood. She wants me to get married early because she has plans all laid for me in the future. I don’t want to get there.
“Boss! You look good!” Fred was running toward me and was about to hug me. I stepped aside so he missed me. He hugged the ground instead.
“Hey Jason. Where have you been?” I asked the guy leaning against my car. He looked ragged. He’s so messed up, I can’t believe it.
“Out for some air. Break-ups suck, you know?”
“What did I tell you? Girls could be such a pain in the butt,”
“What do you think of Janella, huh?”
“Janella’s not a girl,” I told him like as a matter of fact. And speaking of Janella, she’s not yet here and we’re effing late already!
I dialed her number and she answered on the first ring.
“Hey, where the hell are you? Don’t you know what time is it already?!”
“Hey BrainDead, I know so well that’s it’s 5:32 and 23 seconds in the afternoon. AND don’t you dare shout at me!”
“Fine! So where are you now? Can’t you walk faster? Grandma’s going to kill me!”
“Boss, Boss!” Fred kept on pressing my shoulders and it irritated me. I turned to him and glared only to find him pointing at a distance. What now? “Boss, chicks.”
“Damn, do I look like I’m interested with such?” I simply said. I turned my attention back to SB who’s currently shouting at me. “Hoy SB. By the time I finished counting to ten and you’re still not here, you’re dead. One,”
“Boss!”
When I didn’t give him any attention, the three of them held my head and made me turn to the direction of the girl they’ve been fantasizing over a minute ago.
Ting.
“Whoa.” I tried to hide my feelings over that girl but I wasn’t best at that. She had me and I can’t breathe properly. She had me by her curly hair and sky blue knee-length dress. She had me by the way she walks and I swear everything slowed down when she came into my view.
And for the first time in my life, my world stopped for
1…
2…
3…
4…
5… five seconds of utter admiration and I felt stupid.
“6, 7, 8,” I hung up on SB because she’s so talkative, it irritated me. I haven’t taken my eyes off the girl who stopped in front of us. She wore shades and took it off for us to see her completely.
I just wished she hadn’t.
“Stop staring at me, you bastards. I’ll take your eyes off their pockets if you don’t!” Blast it. Her appearance might’ve leveled up but her attitude’s too much the same.
“Can we take back all the adoration we had for you a while ago?” asked Klein who was trying not to puke by my side.
“And you!” She pointed her finger at me in accusation. “Why did you hang up on me?!”
“You’re noisy.”
“Me? Noisy? BABABABABABABABABABABABABA!”
“OH SHIT YOU’RE BEYOND ANNOYING!” I walked toward her and grabbed her hand. I dragged her along as I walk and stopped in front of Fred. “Go find your ride. I don’t mean to share.”
“What? Boss, no way! We’ll be late and Grandma’s gonna hit us with her whip!”
“Well, that’s your problem now. This car is not spacious enough for the five of us. We’ll go ahead,”
I forced SB inside and I jumped in after her. My heart was still beating so fast because of what I saw a while ago. Shit as hell, I can’t believe what I just felt. I felt gay.
She’s too beautiful.
I grabbed a box of tissues on the dashboard and took some out. I held her jaw and pulled her close to me. I saw the surprise on her face and I understood. Using the tissues on my hand, I tried to erase all the colors on her face which isn’t necessary at all.
I don’t like her putting on make-up.
“HEY! Don’t take my make-up off!”
“Have you seen your face in a mirror? You look like a gay,”
“What? I do not!” She tried to kick me but I pinned her legs down. This girl has completely lost her mind! “Don’t kick me, you brainless doll! And please stop moving like a man. You’re wearing skirt and I could see everything. I mean, everything!”
“I don’t care! I don’t even WANT to wear this stupid dress! I DON’T WANT to be here and there! I don’t want this make-up! I HATE THIS DAY! And I would never ever want to be your girlfriend!”
Appalled by her sudden outburst, I let her go. I bit my lip in defeat. I don’t want to put her into this situation but what can I do? I don’t want to be with some other girl I don’t like. I don’t want to get married.
I want to get married with Freedom, that’s all.
“Guji, oh dear shit. I am doing this for you,” My head turned to her when she started talking again, this time calm. “I am SeaweedBrain and I will always be by your side. You could be stupid at times but what the hell, I am going to do anything I can to help you. That’s how I value our friendship,”
Her eyes were the brightest hue of brown that I love them. And I’m currently blinking blinking blinking to distract myself from falling into those windows. She’s staring at me like she’s waiting for some kind of an answer but all I could give her are blank stares.
Don’t do this to me, Janella.
Everything got upside down when the car drifted and the both of us dropped off our seats. I’m lying on the car’s floor and she’s on top of me.
“Are you okay?” she asked me.
She’s still staring staring staring and my heart’s going crazy. I couldn’t read her eyes but I want to go in there. I want to see her world. I want to connect mine with hers.
I don’t know where all of this is coming from. All of a sudden. Why do I have this kind of reaction to her now? This is just bullshit!
When she touched my cheek, I was electrified big time. Get a grip Guji, please!
“BD, answer me. Are you okay?”
Don’t do this to me, Janella. Don’t do this to me.
“Oh God, talk to me please!”
Then I lost it.
I grabbed both of her cheeks and closed all the spaces between us.
I kissed her.