CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
MAGGIE
School started four days ago but I wished it didn’t. People had been asking me about having a secret child after high school graduation and marrying the President’s son Guji afterwards. They’re telling me I’m a shame and my parents should turn their backs on me. They’re telling me that I got laid for several times, got pregnant, and forced Guji to marry me. The stories never ended, but the days did. It’s been four days but my head never ached less.
It all started with my stupid Facebook account. Someone hacked my account and uploaded our Winter Wedding photo from the mag and Baby Gella’s photo with us. He/She used them as my cover photo and profile picture. Who will not suspect that I’m a teenage married mother? Brilliant.
Worse thing here is that I can’t log into my account because he/she changed my password. Worst, the girls eyed me with such ferocity that any minute they could lunge into me and choke me to death.
“By the time I’ll get to know who bullshitted my account, I swear I’ll gonna be a murderer,” I said in gritted teeth while slicing my chicken fillet.
“Uhm, what if one of us did –”
“DO YOU WANT TO DIE?”
“I’m sorry, Maj!” I watched how Nikki bowed in front of me, pleading. “I’m sorry, I mean it! What do you want me to do for you to forgive me?”
I narrowed my eyes at her and kept myself calm. “What’s the password?”
“’Gujimyloves’. WAA. I’ll treat you ice cream, and pizza, and anything you want to eat!” I shook my head in disbelief. I can’t believe Nikki could do this to me. Betray me like this, humiliate, even. I know that she’s trying to be funny, but I don’t find it like that.
But the anger died anyway. It’s Nikki. I love her and I forgive her.
At the soccer field, Guji can’t help but laugh at what just happened to me. Scandalous, shameful, dignity-wrecker. He should be protecting me from all their attacks, but here he is, laughing his lungs out.
“You enjoy the spotlight so much, do you?” I accused him while wiping the sweat off his back. “Well, I don’t!”
“You know what? My most favorite part of their story is the ‘you got laid’ part. I love that part so much – ack!” Using my towel, I choked him from behind. With tight jaw I said, “I’m getting angrier and angrier by the minute so I advise you to pick your words right.”
I released him when I saw that Fred, Klein and Jason were approaching. The three of them raised their shirts up and squatted in front of me. They all said, “Dry our backs too, Boss Janella!”
My mouth went O-shaped at that and slashed them with my towel. “I’m not your moms,”
“But Boss Guji’s back get to be dried by you, why can’t we?” Fred reasoned out.
“Because you’re not Guji. Period.” I stood up and packed my things. I told them I’ll go ahead but Guji insisted he’ll come with me. Fred was about to complain but Klein did a headlock on him that shut him up.
Side by side, Guji and I walked silently. The silence wasn’t at all uncomfortable, it was okay. Until I spoke. “Where’s Yvan? Isn’t he in your team, too? Why is he not around?”
“He left the team.”
“What? Why?”
“He said he can’t do soccer and photography at the same time,”
“Oh. Why didn’t he tell me that?” My mind clamored with so many possibilities of why Yvan did not tell me about his decisions. I only stopped thinking when I noticed that I was walking alone. I looked back. “Hey BD. Lost your feet?”
I saw that his eyebrows were knitted at the center and walked toward him. Using my fingers, I kept them apart. I snapped my fingers in front of him. “Hey. Wake up,”
“I am awake. I, ah, just remembered something,” he started walking. I walked with him. “You know, I have this friend.”
“Oh, who? Jason, Klein, Fred, or Yvan? Take your pick –”
“I have other friends.” With your personality, I doubt that. “That friend of mine has this childhood obsession of chasing a little girl. He takes photos of her, stolen photos, wherever she goes,”
“That’s uh, creepy. Is he creepy?”
He let out a chuckle before answering me ‘no’.
“When he reached high school, he wanted to transfer to Hugo University because the girl was there. But he was afraid. So he stayed where he was. Until now, he’s following that girl. Too bad for him, the girl he’s been following for ages loves someone else,”
“Oh. Did you say Hugo University? What fate. We went to the same school. I wonder who she is,” I chuckled a bit. Indeed, the world is so small. “So what happened to him?”
“I don’t know,” he looked away and kept his hands on his pockets. “If you’re the girl, what would you do?”
I pursed my lips and scratched my jaw, thinking. “I’m not in the situation so I don’t know. But… I’ll tell him to stop wasting his time chasing me because I love someone else. That he’s just hurting himself. To stop looking for me because I am not asking him to,” then suddenly, a cheesy idea popped into my mind. “That someone have found me and my world revolves around him now,”
“Oh I feel loved,”
“Shut up. I’m not even referring to you –”
“But you are.”
“I’M NOT!”
Then he started to run, but the teasing didn’t end. “Hey SB! I never thought you could be that cheesy!”
“I’m just placing myself in your story! It’s not even serious!”
“Didn’t feel that way. Just admit it. YOU LOVE ME.”
“I DON’T.” I ran after him, laughing.
Today’s Debi’s birthday so I dropped by Yvan’s house. When I got there, I noticed that Yvan’s getting rid of me and I don’t know why. He’s not even giving me any eye contact whatsoever. I don’t get it. I can’t remember anything I did wrong to him.
I was at the living room checking my Twitter account when I heard voices. Well, of course, it’s a birthday party so the noise was reasonable, but the voices I heard was at the bedroom and I recognized both of them.
I walked toward Yvan’s room and kept myself hidden.
“What is it that you want to say, Yvan?” I heard Lyn say.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure if I should say this… Look. I don’t want to risk our friendship by saying this to you now. Especially when my friend likes you, too. A lot of things will change and I, ah, don’t think I’m ready for that –”
“Go straight to the point,”
As I was pressing my back against the wall, I placed a hand over the nearest flat surface to me. I have put too much of my weight on it that it fell. Surprised, I looked down. A book was lying wide open on the floor, a picture lying next to it. I picked up the two items and found myself staring at something both familiar and strange. I’m holding a picture of a little girl standing on a dike, overlooking the sea.
Who is this girl?
“What is it, Yvan?” I heard Lyn asked again.
“I’m sorry but… I love you.”
By that, I quickly closed the book, placed it where it should be and decided to walk away. I don’t know why but I felt so happy for the two of them. I could be a traitor for Jason because he loves Lyn, but I guess Lyn and Yvan could be a great couple. They’ve been friends for so long and I think they already knew each other from head to toe.
“What kind of face is that, huh?” Guji eyed me like I’ve grown insane. “Why are you so happy?”
“Because… Yvan confessed!”
“What?”
“YES! I’m so moved!”
“Moved? How could you even say that to my face? You’re unbelievable,” having said that, he turned his heels and left me all alone. My mouth went O-shaped at that. I ran and stopped in front of him.
“Why did you leave me?”
“You’re annoying. Go away.”
“Gosh. Your Mood Swing Virus is getting into you again. What’s up?”
“I said, go away. If you don?
??t, I’ll push you ‘til you break,” he tried to walk out but I stopped him. That made him more irritated. “And one more thing. You can eat your Yvan if you want to. Eat him alive, Janella.”
Oh. I just know what he’s thinking. Stupid, as always. “Don’t act as if Yvan confessed to me. It’s Lyn!”
“What?” I saw bewilderment in his eyes.
“Why are you so deaf? Geez. Yvan likes Lyn. I heard them talking,”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” I laced my arm around his and dragged him along. “Let’s eat siomai. I heard there’s an Eat All You Can Siomai Contest at Downtown. I can’t miss that!”
And we did.
On my way home, I saw Lyn. She waved at me, I waved back. We asked each other how we’ve been and laughed about my Teenage-Mom-Mrs.Kim issue that has been the talk of the campus lately. I’m popular at school. But I’m not sure if my mom would like to know what kind of popularity I have.
“Which reminds me, Lyn,” I coughed before breaking it to her. “How are you and Yvan now? Don’t be such a stranger to me. I know he’s into you and –”
“What?” I was taken aback by her reply, guilty that I may have gone too personal. That it’s a secret and I’m not supposed to know. “I’m sorry if I eavesdropped last time. I heard Yvan confessing to you,”
“You what? You heard that?”
“Uhm... all of it.” I felt uneasy. “Did I hit a sensitive part on you?”
“No no. It’s just that… you misunderstood everything. It’s just a…” she looked at me until she decided to say goodbye while I was left thinking what the hell she’s talking about.
Paola and I went to Klein’s coffee shop. He spends some time here blending coffee and making his own signature drinks. I’m totally impressed.
“You can taste my coffee but you cannot taste me. Don’t fall in love with me, Janella. Not a good idea,”
“Try drinking a cup of coffee so you could wake up. Dreamer,”
Paola and I sat in a table next to a window. I watched how people walked by without giving the world any notice at all. Such a waste. Busy people, boring lives.
“So, the thing about Ero.” Pao started saying. “Are you sure it’s all gone? That what you’re feeling for Guji is not just a remnant of what you feel for Ero?”
I broke away from my view outside and turned to Pao. I smiled. “One night, I just had this realization. That what I feel for Ero is nothing compared to what I feel for Guji.” I raised my two fingers. “It’s two different things. They’re two different people. And I’m in two different dimensions,”
“Deep.” She chuckled.
“Guji is… I don’t know. He’s different from all the people I know. He’s irreplaceable. A very special person,” I smiled at what I’m saying. “When we’re together, I always spank him, annoy him, and shout at him ‘til my throat hurts. But you know, in the silence I’m thinking that if I lose this person, I can’t go on with life.
“I’m the Moon, and he’s the Earth. My attachment to him so strong, too strong I could see no life without him. I love Guji. I’m in love with him. Every day,”
She reached for my hand and held it tight. She stared into my eyes and told me that she could feel it. That she’s happy for me. That finally I found someone who loves me back. That she was sorry for being always in the way when it comes to my unspoken love life. For always winning the guys I’m in love with.
“Not this time,” I said.
“Not this time.”
Tomorrow is finally our Regional Press conference and I’m standing in front of Guji, saying goodbye. He thought of something else.
“You moved out of your house?” He asked, his arms folded. “You packed all your things and you’re going to live here forever? That your sister kicked you out because you are such a headache? Go home.”
“Do I look like I’ve been kicked out of my house?”
“Yes.”
“NO. My sister won’t do that to me. I dropped by to give you this,” I passed a soccer ball to him. It’s a limited edition David Beckam signed soccer ball. I almost died getting such a stupid ball. “It’s a Christmas gift I forgot to give you. So there, I’m going now.”
When I turned to leave, he caught my arm. He asked, “Where are you going?”
“Neverland with Peter Pan. Wanna come?”
“TALK TO ME SERIOUSLY.”
“DON’T SHOUT, OKAY? We’re going to Quezon for our Regionals,”
“I’ll go.”
“Are you insane? You’re not a journalist to begin with! Stay here,”
“I’ll call you, then.”
“My phone’s low bat for five days,”
“I’ll visit you every day –”
“NO. You can’t go there!” You’ll distract me for all I know. “Just call me at night.” I stand on my toes and reached for his forehead. I kissed it. “Take care when I’m gone. Win your games!”
He chuckled before hugging me. “Win your game, too. You’re the best, SB.”
Before leaving, I punched him in the gut saying, “Be a good boy or you’ll regret it.”
“Y-yes B-boss.”
Once in Lucena, I’ve been keeping a close eye on Yvan who’s been ignoring me for days. Chance, Nikki’s boyfriend, said that there’s no doubt in him getting rid of me. He said, “You look like a monster for one thing.” I punched him secretly.
On lunch break, Nikki’s table was full and I’ve got to stand there, my mouth hanging open. She pointed a table next to them where Yvan’s the only person on it. Hesitantly, I sat beside him. “Can I sit beside you?” I asked. “Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I –”
“Maggie, what’s your problem?” Finally, he looked up.
“You’re not talking to me, that’s why. Do we have a problem?”
Instead of answering me, he dropped his stare from me and continued eating his lunch. I didn’t mind.
It’s past one in the morning and I still can’t sleep. I don’t want to sleep. My phone’s not yet ringing so I have to wait just a little bit longer. I went outside. I found a bench in front of our quarters and sat there, counting the stars in heaven.
“Why are you outside?” I jolted in place when someone spoke. It’s Yvan. He sat beside me, folding his arms. “You can’t sleep, too?”
“Yeah,” I wanted to ask him why he’s ignoring me but I don’t have the courage to do so. Maybe I’m just afraid of his answer. “Feeling cold?” I shook my head and said I’m okay.
We sat in silence but my mind’s roaring with thoughts. Thoughts of Guji, Lyn and Yvan together, Jason’s reaction if he discovers this, Fred’s stupidity and some other stuff about the world and human domination, they’re crammed up on my mind. It’s always been the case ever since.
My mind is a jungle of thoughts.
“Maj,” Yvan said, waking me up to reality. “What if the person you love loves someone else?”
“Ah? Is that why you’ve been detached to us all? To me?” I asked him, half-smirking.
“What do you mean?” He looked alarmed. I giggled. “You’re brokenhearted, I see. How could I be so dense to your feelings? Ha, Yvan. Who is the lucky girl who broke the heart of such a good man? It’s Lyn, right? Tell me,”
“Answer my question first,”
“Why are you guys asking me the same thing? What am I, Love Guru?” I laughed at my own comment. “You know Yvan. If that person loves someone else, don’t waste your time chasing her. You’re only hurting yourself. Go find someone who would love you back,”
“How could I do that if she’s the only girl I’m seeing?”
I stared at him and asked him to close his eyes. “Because you’re playing blind to the world. Just like other people walking by Klein’s coffee shop. You’re so focused on one thing that you can’t see what’s around it.” I tapped his eyes and told him to open them. When he did, I saw a pair of bright brown eyes staring back at me. “Open your eyes. Open your heart. To possibilities. To what-ifs.”
r /> A few minutes of silence passed and he started laughing. “Wow, Maj. Are you in love?”
“Oh, this just comes naturally,” and we both laughed, hitting each other’s arms and telling each other crazy things until my phone rang. I saw BD’s name on the screen and let out a silent scream.
I’ve been dying to hear his voice again.