I thought that Alex had a lot to do with her settling down. He was a serious kid. Gracie was crazy about him and she knew she had to clean up her act to hold his attention. He didn’t like girls cursing or wearing skimpy clothes, and to my surprise, she had all but ceased cursing like a sailor and dressing like a tart. That did this mother’s heart good.
Gracie seemed to have concluded that there were many ways to get attention, and it looked as though she had finally figured out that positive attention was better than negative. These days she seemed to place more value on earning and receiving respect.
If I had to venture a guess, I’d say that spending more time in the company of adults had left its mark on her. For the first time she heard a chorus of people—Louise, Mimi, Brad, O’Malley and even Duane—agree with something I said. The isolation we had known in New Jersey had always put us at odds with each other. Having the solid support of our little community of foodies had been beneficial.
I was looking forward to seeing Lindsey and hearing about all her professors and classmates. I wanted to tell her how well I thought Gracie was adjusting and blossoming. I hoped we would find a few hours to run to the city and see her dorm room. She was front and center on my mind as the plane circled Newark and prepared to land. It was almost midnight and the city twinkled below. Now it was Mount Pleasant that seemed to be a million miles behind me.
I picked up the rental car and drove home on the Garden State Parkway and then down Bloomfield Avenue toward Park Street. I was so tired. I couldn’t wait to climb in my old bed, but only after I had a good look at my girl. As soon as I could spot my house, I could see that all the lights were on. I couldn’t wait to get in the door and throw my arms around her.
She must have been sitting in the living room window watching, because as soon as I pulled into the driveway, she ran out the door.
“Mom!”
She came flying across the yard into my arms, and of course I began to cry.
“Baby! I missed you so much! Good Lord!”
“Oh, Mom! Don’t cry! Are you okay? Let me see your head.”
“I’m okay, I’m just happy to see you.”
I pushed back my hair. Although the light was dim, she could see the scar. I had gone to great lengths to cover it but nothing seemed to work.
“Man! That bitch! I want to hear the whole story, with every detail!”
“You know what? She is a bitch!” I dug in my pocket, found a tissue and blew my nose. “Well, let me grab my things and let’s get inside. It’s late.”
The minute I stepped inside the door, I knew I was not meant to be in that house any longer. It felt like a stranger. I got goose bumps all over from the surprise of it. Gretchen had done everything she said she would, but the combination of fake plants and the absence of family photographs and magazines made it feel sterile. It didn’t feel like my house anymore. I couldn’t wait to clean it out and put that part of my life in the past where it belonged.
“You hungry?” Lindsey said.
“Not really.”
“Good, because there’s nothing here except my leftover pizza and some Diet Coke.”
“In that case, I’m hungry.” I dropped my bag in the living room. We went into the kitchen and once again I felt like an intruder. It really wasn’t my kitchen anymore. I took a slice of Lindsey’s pizza and put it on a paper towel, unscrewed the top of the plastic bottle, and sat at the kitchen table. “So, does it seem bizarre to be back in this house, or what?”
“Uh, yes! First of all, there are a number of issues. The television’s still here, but you canceled the cable, so no TV. The telephones are still all around, but you canceled the service, so you can’t call anybody.”
“Correction! I have a cell!”
“What?”
“It’s Mimi’s.”
“Of course it’s Mimi’s. The Breland women don’t do techno.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I’ve got news for you! I was thinking about this on the plane. As soon as we close on the sale of this house, I’m buying you a cell, me a cell and Gracie a cell.”
“Are you kidding?”
“No, I’m talking Christmas presents.”
“Awesome! Can I pick out my own?”
“You can pick out all three. Just find a plan with nationwide minutes and we can talk about it. And, here’s the big one, I’m buying you and Gracie laptops.”
“Mom! You are like . . . wild! What’s happened to you?”
“Nothing. I just think that it’s time we joined the twenty-first century and all that. Besides, if we have laptops, I can e-mail you from home. And, if Gracie has a flat tire, she can call me. I mean, it just finally makes sense and for once, I will soon have a little money.”
“Can we talk car?”
“Sorry, baby. You’ll have to talk car with your dad.”
“You look tired,” Lindsey said. “There’s still bruising in your cheeks.”
I put my hand to my face and felt the area that had bruised the worst. It was still tender.
“I am tired. No, I am beyond tired.”
“Well, let’s go to sleep then,” she said. “I made up your bed.”
Well, how about that?
In the morning, we went to the Montclair Grill for breakfast and fattened ourselves on pancakes and sausages. Then we picked up a few groceries and returned home to begin the battle.
“You take the kitchen and I’ll take the bathrooms,” I said. “Throw away any spice bottle that looks like it’s a year old and pack everything else in boxes. We can take it all down to the soup kitchen.”
I sorted through bottles of almost-empty shampoo and conditioners of the same brand and combined them to give to Lindsey to take back to school. The same went for aspirin and tampons, and suddenly I realized why I never had any cash—the girls spent it all at the drugstore!
By dinnertime, we were exhausted. Lindsey was stretched out on the old couch in our living room and I was in the big overstuffed armchair, thinking I would miss it, even though the arms were frayed and the print was faded.
“You want supper?” I said, hoping she didn’t want to cook.
“No. Too tired to make anything.”
“Let’s call Villa Victoria and get penne vodka and a salad.”
“Perfect. I’ll even go pick it up.”
I tossed her Mimi’s cell. I didn’t care that she wasn’t covered on the rental car insurance. How’s that for living in the fast lane?
By Sunday night, the job was done. I had tagged everything for the yard sale, and divided the rest between what Lindsey could use, what I was sending back to South Carolina and what we were giving to charity. I was taking no furniture, no linens except for a quilt that I loved, a few winter clothes, raincoats and a couple of jackets. I packed up some pots and pans, a few small appliances, all my decent knives and some other kitchen tools. Every time my hand touched something the girls had made for me in school or at camp, it went in a special pile. Those would be bubble-wrapped along with all of our Christmas ornaments.
Lindsey and I were feasting on what we could scavenge from the salad bar at King’s and just talking about everything. The next morning we would dispose of the boxes and take the train to the city.
“I can’t wait to meet your roommate and see the campus,” I said.
“It’s incredible. Not my room, but the campus.”
As we closed up the house for the night, I thought about how much more mature she seemed. She had assured me that she was fine, that Fred and Patti were not driving her crazy, and she was relieved to hear about Gracie allegedly growing up. Classes were tough but she loved the challenge and everything in general was going along according to plan.
She took Mimi’s cell to call her roommate and I said good night. It was almost midnight again. I remember my last thoughts as I lay down were about how the time had flown by in the past few days and then I fell into a deep sleep.
I was dreaming about the old man again. He was holding my hand and patting it, muc
h like Brad had done. He said, I’m the one who cleaned your office. I wanted you to know I was real and that I am watching over you. Then Lindsey burst into my room and threw on the overhead lights.
“Momma! Wake up! It’s Aunt Mimi! The restaurant’s burned to the ground and Gracie’s in the hospital!”
I was on my feet in a heartbeat.
“What? Mimi? It’s me! What’s happened? Is Gracie okay?”
“She’s fine. Well, she has a broken ankle and a concussion and some minor burns and scrapes, but she’s going to be absolutely fine. Right now she’s still unconscious, but the doctors expect her to wake up any time now.”
My heart was pounding so hard I thought I would have a stroke before I could get the full story.
“I’m coming home. Please don’t leave Gracie until I get there. Who’s there? What happened?” I glanced at my watch. It was almost four o’clock.
“Get hold of yourself, Linda! Everybody is fine! And, you may as well get dressed because I have you booked on the five-thirty flight. I knew you would want to come back right away.”
“Thanks.”
“Anyway, the restaurant is covered by insurance. The one next door burned down too. It’s some mess, Brad says. I haven’t seen it yet. And, they brought Alex in too because he dragged Gracie out of your office and he was sick from the smoke. Alex said that he had heard from some kids that Jason Miller was going down there tonight to plaster posters all over the buildings with Gorilla Glue.”
“What the hell is the matter with that man?”
“Honey? He’s going to the slaaaa-mah?”
Jail?
“Oh my God. I can’t believe my ears. He must be completely crazy.”
“Brad saw him leaving with the police. When the fire alarm went off, the alarm company called Brad. But Gracie and Alex heard the sirens, hopped on the new bikes and beat him there. They were here watching a movie and I was asleep, for which you can punish me severely. I never heard a thing until the phone rang and it was Brad. I nearly died, I can promise you that.”
“Mimi? Why in the world would anyone have thought that something like this could happen? I mean, it’s not a great idea to leave them alone in a dark living room with a television, but no one would dream in a million years that they would get caught up in a fire. Don’t spank yourself. You’re sure Gracie’s okay?”
“Yes. And, I won’t leave her side.”
“Why in the world did Gracie go in the office?”
“To get the money out of the safe. She thought the restaurant was being robbed.”
“That girl will be the death of me yet,” I said.
“That girl was doing something she thought was noble and brave. That’s what you should think about.”
TWENTY - TWO
BRAD WAITING
I wanted the sun to rise. If the sun came up, the world would look better to me. I sat by Gracie’s bedside with Mimi, Louise, Alex and Robert. Robert called O’Malley and Louise had called Duane to tell them all the news. They said they would come by in the morning. I told them to check with the ER nurse’s station first, because we may have left by then, God willing.
Alex was still feeling terrible from all the smoke but they said he was going to be all right. I wanted him to go home and rest but he insisted on staying by Gracie’s side. I didn’t even argue with him.
The neurologist had just left and pronounced Gracie fine too, but part of me still doubted his judgment. I couldn’t quite believe, looking at Gracie lying there unconscious, that she was fine. Unconscious was not fine.
Mimi followed the neurologist down the hall to double-check, triple-check and quadruple-check that what he told us was true and that he wasn’t holding back anything. That Mimi was one terrific woman.
I thought about Gracie. What a spirited child she was! I knew that she loved to dance and I was concerned how her broken ankle would affect that in the long run. I would see to it that she got all the physical therapy she needed and then some. I had always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter, and because of her personality, wit and spunk, Gracie had become sort of a surrogate. I really loved this kid, no, this young woman. God forbid, if she had died, what would I have done? What would have become of Linda?
“What are you thinking about, Brad?” Robert said.
“I’m thinking I wish Gracie would wake up. I’m thinking I wish it was daylight because I always feel better when the sun’s out.”
He slapped me on the back in a friendly gesture of agreement and said, “This is unbelievable. So wrong. I’m so angry that this happened. I mean, who is this maniac? This Miller guy? He’s got a mental problem, that one. I hope he goes to jail for a thousand years and you can take it to the bank that I’ll do my part to see that he does.”
“Good,” I said and took Gracie’s hand in mine. “Come on, sweetie, let’s wake up, okay?” But there was no reaction. “I wish Linda was here.”
Louise said, “She’ll be here soon, Mr. Brad. I just keep thinking what it would be like if she lost her girl. Oh, God, I wish this child would wake up. Just wake up and say something.”
“I’m going out for coffee—anybody want something?” Robert said.
“Yes, just black,” I said.
“Me too,” Louise said.
Alex just shook his head and went back to staring at Gracie’s face. We sat in silence for the next few minutes, all of us waiting, wishing something would change.
“She looks like she’s just sleeping,” Alex said.
“Well, she is, in a way. Alex, I am so proud of you, son. You saved her life, you know.”
“Amen,” Louise said. “You are a real true-to-life hero, Alex.”
“I just did what anyone would have done,” he said. “I told her not to go in there but she was determined to get the cash from the safe.”
“God, what a great kid,” I said. “She couldn’t have known it was fireproof. Can you imagine if you hadn’t pulled her out? Can you imagine us telling Linda that Gracie was gone? I don’t think I have ever seen a woman who cares more about her kids than Linda does about hers. You know? I mean, her Lindsey is a wonderful girl. Wonderful! Dependable, smart—all that. But this one is a spitfire and you know, I can’t wait to see who she becomes someday. I think it would truly kill Linda if the worst had happened.” I thought about it for a moment and then spoke again. “I mean, Alex, you don’t understand. You didn’t just save Gracie, you saved Linda and Lindsey and really, all of us, because I know I would never have got over it. And you know what else?”
The door swung open and Robert came in with a cardboard tray holding our coffee.
“Here,” Robert said, putting the cup down on the table next to her bed. “Watch out. It’s hot.”
“Thanks,” I said, but I couldn’t bring myself to release Gracie’s hand to remove the lid and take a sip. “I can’t imagine the world without Gracie. It would be so empty.”
“Tragic,” Robert said. “It would be absolutely tragic. But don’t think about it. It’s not gonna happen.”
I looked over at Louise and she was watching me intensely.
“What do you think, Louise?”
“I think you have more feelings for Linda and her girls than you know. That’s what I think.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s saying you’re in love with her, pal,” Robert said. “You’re in love and you don’t even know it.”
“No, I’m saying that you’re in love with all of them,” Louise said. “Let me tell you gentlemen something. Linda Breland is a warrior. She loves with a fierceness I haven’t ever seen in anybody except myself. That’s just one reason why we get along so well. She is loyal to a fault and as hardworking as anyone I have ever known. She says what she thinks and I agree with almost every word that comes from her mouth.”
“Me too,” I said.
“She’s a helluva gal,” Robert said.
“Well, when you find somebody who’s got qualities like Linda
, you love her. That’s all.”
Finally, I put Gracie’s hand down on her blanket and stood up. I was stiff from sitting for so long and I stretched a little. Mimi came back in and took my seat, so I picked up my coffee and decided to go outside for some air.
“What did the doctor say?” Louise said.
“How’s she doing?”
“No change,” I said. “So, what did he say?”
“Nothing. You would think that with all the education these guys have that they could think of something more than Why don’t you go home and get some rest and come back in the morning? First of all, it is morning—almost. Basically, he repeated everything he said when we all heard him. He said Gracie is fine and that she will come around.”
“I’ll be back in five minutes,” I said.
I walked down the short corridor and the doors opened automatically. It was around five-thirty and the eastern sky was streaked with the beginning of dawn. The early morning air was damp but more comfortable to me than the air-conditioning. I put my cup down on the low wall and rubbed my arms to warm them up. As I moved along a few steps toward the parking lot, I realized how exhausted I was. I couldn’t wait to see Linda arrive and I knew that I would be a wreck until she did.
Our children had accomplished something that night that adults would never have even considered trying. I wondered where Alex got his strength and where Gracie got hers too. But I didn’t wonder for long.
That night Alex had reminded me of my father in the way that he simply jumped in and did what needed to be done. Another man, maybe even Robert or me, we might have weighed the odds first and then decided it was a job for a professional.
And Gracie? She was Linda all over again. I smiled to myself thinking about what Linda must have been like as a teenager and thought that she probably gave everyone a good run for their money. I remembered the day she had given me hell for making that raunchy remark about hot babes versus mothers and even still, I could not help but smile again at her nerve. She would not have cared if I had fired her; she wasn’t staying if I didn’t apologize. God. I loved that!