I’m guessing Mom and Dad came in to kiss me good night and straightened up.
TWENTY-THREE
At the beginning of second rehearsal today, Shawn Barr and Mrs. Chang are both all smiles when I tell them information about L. Frank Baum.
I say, “He lived a long, long, long time ago, but his imagination was very strong because he wrote stories with inventions that you would now say are cell phones and TV sets.”
I practically memorized this line straight from his Wikipedia page.
Shawn Barr says, “Is that true? Really?”
I nod. I’m lucky he doesn’t ask for more details, because I don’t know what stories had the inventions. I need to get away from the actual facts about L. Frank Baum, so I add, “I learn more when I have to look stuff up myself.”
Mrs. Chang likes this. “And we all learn more when we are interested.”
Shawn Barr says, “It’s what you learn after you think you know it all that counts.”
I can’t think of another “learning” saying, so I tell them, “Learning to shut up is also very important.”
Shawn Barr and Mrs. Chang like this tip best.
The main thing I’ve been taught so far this summer is not how to sing or dance or hit my mark. It’s not how to make my body stiff and hold my arms wide when I’m in my flying harness. It’s not how to wait for the music cue or how to count down when to come out from our places for the first musical number.
It’s this: How to hang out with college students!
They’re really fun.
College students aren’t just in the play. They have all the jobs around here, and there’s a lot to do. There’s a ticket booth, which has someone in it selling. There are lighting people, stagehands, and the people who do the rigging. There are hair and makeup and art departments. It’s not like in a big store; it’s just what they call the groups.
We are all theater people!
The college art students wear overalls, and they have paint spots all over their shoes. I don’t like tattoos, but art students do. They also enjoy gold earrings, scarves, and hats.
And here’s another thing I can now say: Chips and salsa can be eaten any time of day or night. College students love chips and spicy salsa even for breakfast. They also really like donuts and coffee and spring rolls and breath mints.
I think these people feel free because they don’t have their parents telling them what to do, but they also aren’t like regular adults since they don’t have bosses, unless you count professors.
However, a teacher isn’t a boss. A teacher is a helper who has power in your life, but not the ability to force you to make your bed or eat fish sticks, if it turns out you don’t like fish sticks.
It’s been two weeks since I started going to both rehearsals, and I’m too busy to think about anything like my scrapbook or writing a letter to Piper. I’m not even looking for Ramon so much, which feels wrong. But I just don’t see him in all of his old places like I used to.
Maybe I’m getting more comfortable with the empty space. Or maybe having so many new things in my life is filling it up.
There is one bad thing that has happened, though: Olive is not as happy as she was before the arrival of Gillian and Coco.
I think Olive and Gillian could be good friends, but they have one big problem, and that is Gianni.
They both like him.
I’m just a kid, so of course I haven’t had a boyfriend and I have no experiences from my own life to help me figure out things like this. There have been girls in school and maybe we’ve liked the same boy in class, but how would I even know?
Stephen Boyd didn’t have a clue I was thinking about him when I got bored.
It’s different when you get older.
From what I can see, these kinds of strong feelings make people act crazy. Grown-ups think kids need to be bossed around. We have to raise our hands and stand in line and wait to be called on. But now that I’m watching how completely out of control adults can get, it might be good if they had a few more rules of their own.
One thing I understand is that almost every song on the radio is about this problem of emotions, which is also called falling in love. I thinking the falling part is right. It’s not climbing in love. Or even sitting or standing or stepping in love.
No.
Falling.
The people here are falling in all different directions.
This is what I know has happened: Before Gillian arrived, Gianni and Olive had dinner. They saw a movie together. They also went on a canoe ride.
I guess the canoe ride was the best thing, because a boy and girl only get in a canoe together if they like each other.
I didn’t know this until Olive told me.
I have no idea if this is also true for a rowboat or a motorboat. I would have asked, but I wasn’t thinking about these questions at the time.
Olive said, “We rented a canoe and we paddled down the river and the sun was setting and it was just so romantic.”
I could picture it all until she said it was romantic. I still don’t understand that part. To me it just sounds like two people in a rented canoe. My experience in this area involves life jackets and getting wet when you aren’t supposed to. Another thing I have experienced is that rowing looks fun until you start doing it. Then it’s like raking leaves and just a lot of work that can lead to sore shoulders.
It’s possible I’m not a boating person.
But getting back to Olive and Gianni, Olive was watching after practice on the day when Gianni met Gillian. She said that right away he took the elastic out of his man-bun. Gillian and Gianni gave each other a hug to say hello. But they had just met. They didn’t even know each other.
One of the things I’ve seen is that in the theater we’re able to show our emotions. Things are bigger than in regular life. That’s why there’s a lot of hugging for the adults and maybe laughing that’s too loud.
Olive didn’t like this first hug from Gillian to Gianni. She saw something. Gianni and Gillian spent a lot of time talking, and I guess they know people from different productions in other parts of the country.
Of course Shawn Barr also has theater friends everywhere. But the rest of us don’t.
So maybe that makes Gianni and Gillian feel like they have a connection.
When Olive and I were getting stuff from the cart the day Gillian arrived, Olive told me that “jealousy is a poison you drink every day.”
I looked down into my decaf iced coffee, because I thought she was talking about something that was going on with the beverage guy. He’s a bad listener and gets our order messed up all the time.
But no. She was actually saying something about what she was feeling between Gillian and Gianni.
And guess what: She was right, because only three days later Gillian said that she and Gianni had gone canoeing!
This was a terrible day at rehearsal.
If I were a better person I would not want to get caught up in all the drama.
This is the first saying that is actually working in a real way in my life, because I’m in the drama department at the university doing a drama for Summer Theater, and now we have our own drama.
So of course I am very much caught up in the drama.
I feel bad, but I like seeing adults in action.
Olive says we need to concentrate on our performance and that nothing else matters. But I know she is sad inside.
After we have finished our part of the show being winged monkeys, we are allowed to go home. Olive always leaves. But Mrs. Chang stays and sits for a while with Shawn Barr, and so I do too.
I try to be quiet and just listen to them talk.
Their conversation is almost always about the play. Mrs. Chang knows a lot. She tells me to learn by watching the small things. The bigger stuff everyone can see
, like an actor not remembering a line or going the wrong direction onstage.
I try to practice taking a mental picture of what’s going on, and I don’t let my mind wander. It’s hard to do this when you’ve seen something many times. You know what’s going to happen, so nothing takes you by surprise.
But I’m learning to view it all new every time. I really concentrate. The first unusual thing I notice is that the lights on the right side aren’t as bright as the day before, and that’s because a bulb burned out.
One day I see that everyone is too bunched together during the song at Emerald City, and they need to spread out more and fill the stage.
Another time I can hear that someone is singing too loud and it’s not blending in right.
At first I don’t say anything, but Shawn Barr says, “Baby, I want you to share what you see. You’re an extra set of eyes. And your eyes pick up more detail than mine. I’m an aging thespian with the beginning of macular degeneration.”
I don’t know what that means, and I forget to ask Mrs. Chang.
I think he’s saying that he needs to wear his glasses more. Or else he’s just telling me he’s from another generation and is an old man, which of course I already know.
Now Shawn Barr will turn to Mrs. Chang and me and say, “How was that for you two?” And if I saw something, I tell him.
What is great is that Shawn Barr always finds ways to make the play better. He has stuff to help Gillian and Joe the Scarecrow and Ryan the Lion and Ahmet the Tin Man with their performances.
I think he loves the witches. Especially Kitty. He often goes to her and whispers in her ear. I don’t know what he’s been saying, but she’s very, very, very scary, and I think he’s responsible for that.
I wish I’d had a director at school.
In Mrs. Vancil’s history class we had to stand in front of the room and explain part of the Civil War. It would have been better if I’d had Shawn Barr there, because he would have said, “Slow down, Baby. You are rushing through this.” And then he probably would also have said, “Speak louder, be heard in the back of the room. Don’t yell, project your voice.”
I think he would have told me to stop touching my hair. I do that if I’m nervous. But a lot of people do. I’m guessing everyone in my class would have understood more about Mary Todd Lincoln if I’d had Shawn Barr’s help.
TWENTY-FOUR
We are getting close to opening night, so we are starting to rehearse without any stopping and starting. This is called a straight run-through.
The other big news is that today is the first time we have the orchestra. I’m so used to just hearing a piano when I sing that it’s very distracting.
But I will say these people are amazing. They share a language that’s written down, and it’s music. I will never understand how they stare at black dots on a page and from this code all find the same song. I tried to learn this with Mrs. Sookram, and it just didn’t work for me. The musicians have real talent and I think the rest of us are big fakers, except for Shawn Barr, because he knows how to play an instrument and how to dance and most of all how to make people laugh.
The play opens on Friday.
We end rehearsal early on Monday because Shawn Barr needs to speak to us about the next steps and what he calls “procedure.”
Sometimes he’s like a coach, only not like Mr. Sarkisian, who was my soccer coach last year. Mr. Sarkisian did a lot of yelling, but he only really told me one thing and he said it over and over again. “Julia, keep your eye on the ball!”
I could see the ball fine. I just didn’t have the instinct to run to it.
That’s very different from not seeing it.
Ramon didn’t have the instinct to chase a ball, so we were alike that way. I could throw him all kinds of things but he didn’t care. It would’ve been different if I threw him a pork chop, but I never did that.
Once in a while he might run after a stick. But most times he just gave me a look that said What’re you doing that for? I was fine with it, because I didn’t see the point either. Also, I don’t have a great throwing arm.
“This Friday it all comes together,” Shawn Barr says to us now. “Tomorrow we will have our first full rehearsal in makeup and wardrobe at the actual performance time. In an ideal world, you Munchkins would stay backstage for the duration of the play after your scene is over and then be able to come out as a group for the curtain call. Olive, Larry, and Quincy are adults, but the rest of you are kids—I don’t expect you to wait here until the end of the show unless your parents are in the audience that night. You can return to the dressing rooms, change out of your costumes, and go home once ‘Follow the Yellow Brick Road’ is done. Of course, anyone who wants to stay is welcome.”
Obviously I’m staying.
I look around and realize all the kids want to stay.
I really hope their parents won’t let them.
Somehow in this last month I’ve started to think of myself as a college student. Or at least a junior college student.
These other Munchkins are kids.
I want them all to go home and go to bed.
I try to imagine what it would be like to take a bow with just Olive and Larry and Quincy, and that feels like it would be great. I guess I shouldn’t be selfish: My brother Randy could be out there too. And his friend Gene, if he really wanted to be part of it. Also, I’m going to admit I really like those Lullaby League girls, Desiree, Sally, and Nina. And there’s a Munchkin named Robbin Tindall who’s maybe the nicest person I ever met. If I had more time I’d see if she wanted to go bowling. I have to find out where she goes to school. I feel like Piper and Kaylee would like her a lot too.
I can’t think about that now because the curtain call is the most important thing and I need to concentrate on this part of the show. I’m very excited for the applause. Then I realize—wait a minute—I’ll be in my winged monkey outfit.
Is that better for the curtain call than being a Munchkin?
I don’t think I can easily get out of that makeup and back into my other costume, so it doesn’t matter how many Munchkin kids stay until the end. I won’t be with them. I’ll be with Olive and Mrs. Chang and the three guys from Cleveland. They arrived yesterday. They are nice to us but it feels like they are playing on another team. Olive says we should be polite but not worry about them. It’s such a relief to have a mentor, even if she’s spending more time now with Quincy and Larry.
I’m with them a lot, but it feels like Olive has forgotten about our fun times together.
Last week Olive leaned her head against Quincy’s shoulder at the end of rehearsal. We were all tired. But she looked more sad than worn out. I saw little tears in her eyes after Gianni walked behind the stage. He didn’t even come over and talk to us. Since then Quincy has started bringing her presents. He has given her a book of poems and a can of soda and also a brownie that had buttercream frosting. She said thank you for everything, but didn’t look that excited.
I wonder if she read the poems. Poetry seems like a lot of work for the payoff, because the ones I’ve read have riddles inside and you have to figure out what the writer is trying to say. It’s better for me if someone wants to make a point and they just explain it outright.
I think if Gianni handed her a napkin from the coffee cart she would have had a bigger smile. Also, Olive gave me the brownie when Quincy wasn’t watching. That’s how I know about the buttercream frosting.
In the car on the way home after rehearsals Mrs. Chang pretty much goes over everything I don’t understand. We are driving back to our neighborhood when she says, “Right before a play opens is a very emotional time. Everyone is very tired. But also excited. You can expect some drama.”
We are at a stoplight, so she is looking at me. I know that she must be worn out. I feel older than when we started, and I’m a kid.
Mrs. Chan
g made almost all of the Munchkin clothing. And she was the one who did the winged monkey costumes too.
It’s a secret, but she also took home Ryan the Cowardly Lion’s outfit and fixed it. A girl named Josephine was making the costume as part of her senior thesis. I have no idea what that means, but Mrs. Chang said it’s like writing a big paper; only in this case Josephine had to design and sew the Lion. Shawn Barr thought that Mrs. Chang could do better, but they didn’t want to hurt Josephine’s feelings.
It seems like Josephine should be able to look onstage and see that Ryan the Lion is different now, but so far she hasn’t said anything. She just seems really happy.
I guess when things work out, people are blind to where the credit belongs.
The traffic light changes, but Mrs. Chang is still staring at me and so I say, “Mrs. Chang, is your daughter going to come see the play?”
I know that she moved to our town because of her daughter. She said that a long time ago, which was really only a month.
Mrs. Chang turns her head back toward the street, but she says, “No, she won’t be coming.”
I could just leave it there and not ask anything else, and that’s probably what a person would do who was respectful of privacy. But I can’t stop myself from being curious.
I say, “How come? We get four tickets at discount.”
Mrs. Chang says, “My daughter passed away, Julia.”
I didn’t know.
I stare out the windshield, and I realize in all of these car trips I could have asked about Mrs. Chang’s family, but I was just interested in the play and talking about Shawn Barr and Olive and Gianni and the flying harnesses and the costumes and, I guess, myself.
Now I close my eyes.
“Passed away” is another saying that people use that is wrong.
Ramon is dead.
He didn’t get passed to anyone. And he didn’t get passed over like for a job.
But the word “dead” is too hard for some people. Maybe it makes them hurt less inside not to say it.