Getting up quietly, Sierra peeked over at Katie, who was still sound asleep. Dawn, Katie’s roommate, had offered to let Sierra sleep in her bed, but it had been too soft for Sierra, making it a night of restlessness. So many thoughts, feelings, and ideas were bouncing off the walls of Sierra’s mind that she decided to dress and go for a walk. She knew it would be useless to try to sleep anymore. She would much rather greet the day by trying to glimpse the elusive blue Pacific from the deck of the Student Center.
Slipping into her jeans and a sweatshirt, Sierra pulled her hair back in a clip and quietly left Katie’s dorm room. No one else appeared to be awake yet. The halls and lobby were empty. And why should any reasonable college student be up? The sun had barely risen this Saturday morning. Sierra quietly opened the double doors and exited into the new day.
Once outside she immediately felt better. Perhaps her feelings soared because of the brisk morning air or the sweet fragrance of honeysuckle that wafted in her direction from the vine covering the far side of the building. Maybe it was the night sky just beginning to fade into a rosy shade of aqua that lifted her up. Whatever it was, Sierra drew the refreshing sensation into her lungs and headed toward the Student Center with light, energetic steps. A car engine revved in the student parking lot and passed her on the road a few minutes later. The driver, a young woman, gave a little beep and waved at Sierra as if she knew her.
That was one of the many things Sierra liked about Rancho Corona. The students were friendly and open. She rounded the back of the Student Center and took the steps up to the deck two at a time. Her efforts were well rewarded. Morning had come to the top of the mesa only minutes before Sierra arrived on the deck. The faithful sun now rose steadily behind her. Before her lay the campus, spread out like a picnic on green fields all the way to the end of the mesa. After that, far in the distance, laced with morning clouds as thin as a whisper, lay the vast, blue Pacific Ocean. The immensity of the view and the vividness of the early morning colors stunned Sierra. She felt a shiver, partly from the chill of the breeze and partly from the astounding beauty of it all.
At the edge of the campus, away from the other buildings and near a grove of trees, Sierra noticed a small white building with a spired roof. She guessed it was the chapel Katie had mentioned. Tracing the horizon with her hungry eyes, Sierra ate up the scenery. It was almost too beautiful to take in—a glorious glut of wonder.
Filled but not satisfied, Sierra left the deck and scampered through the wet grass toward the chapel. She felt like laughing aloud because her spirit was so light. Pausing along the trail only for a moment, Sierra snatched up a dandelion. She closed her eyes, made a wish, and then blew all the feathery hairs from the dandelion’s head and watched them dance away on the morning breeze.
Sierra knew if anyone could see her at this moment, wishing on dandelions and fairly skipping down the path, they would label her as loony and anything but college-student material. But it was unlikely anyone on this campus was up yet, and if he were, he probably had something more important to do than watch a young heart celebrate the new day.
That’s how Sierra felt: forever young in her heart. All the thoughts and feelings she had wrestled with in her sleep that had weighed so heavily upon her felt light at this moment. So many things had felt so intense these past few days, and her spirit had been unsettled. But not now, not on this morning with its promise of so much life to be lived.
Skipping along, Sierra came to where the path ended, at the door of the solemn, silent chapel. She tried the door and found it unlocked. Entering with reverence, she shuffled to the front and sat down on one of the cushioned, wooden benches. At the front of the chapel was a beautifully carved altar with a large, open Bible on the top of it. Behind the altar was a stained-glass window that shone brighter and brighter as each ray of morning light poured through it, sending its pattern and colors into a dim reflection on the floor at Sierra’s feet.
She stared a long time at the stained-glass window. It was just as Katie had described it. A thick brown cross slanted to the right, and around the horizontal portion of the cross hung a golden crown studded with bright jewels.
“Father,” Sierra whispered into the sacred air around her, “thank You. Thank You for sending Your Son to die for me. Thank You for making a way for me to come to You through Him. Thank You for forgiving all my sins when I surrendered my life to Christ. Thank You for giving me eternal life. I know if I can trust You with all that, I should be able to trust You with all these anxious thoughts and feelings that kept me from sleeping last night.”
Sierra glanced around the small chapel before continuing. God felt so close to her here, at this moment. She almost expected to see His shadow on the wall. “I guess I’m worried about the future. I don’t think I ever have been worried about it before—at least not like this. Part of me wants to go away to college, particularly a college like this. Another part of me doesn’t want to leave home. I don’t want to have to be so responsible. I know I’ve had it easy. I guess I like my life at home more than I realized. I don’t think I’m ready to grow up.”
Sierra rubbed her hands together. It was chilly in the little chapel. “I feel as though I didn’t finish a lot of things in life when I could have. Like with Tawni. Last night, when she hugged me, I felt bad that I’d wasted all those years when she was at home. Why weren’t we close friends then? And then there’s Amy. Did You hear her last night? Of course You did. It really bugged me when Antonio asked her when she became a Christian and she said she wasn’t necessarily one of us. Why isn’t her heart open to You, God? What happened?”
For another five minutes Sierra poured her heart out to the Lord. She had unsettled feelings about Warner, fears about maintaining her high GPA through this last semester, questions about how she was supposed to know which school God wanted her to go to, or if it was His plan for her to stay home. She knew all too well that she was an impetuous person. This was one time in her life when her decisions mattered a lot. She couldn’t make a snap choice. Her future was at stake.
When all her doubts, fears, and worries were poured out, she stopped talking and waited, listening to the silence. The emotional exercise left her exhausted, and she stretched out on the pew. Within minutes she was asleep.
The sound of the chapel door opening and quick footsteps woke her sometime later. Sierra sat bolt upright and startled the man who had entered. He let out a funny gasping sound and then apologized for disturbing Sierra.
“No, it’s okay. I was just leaving. Do you know what time it is?” Sierra squinted in the brightened chapel and stretched her kinked neck.
“Nine-thirty,” the man said. He looked like one of the professors and carried a Bible and notebook under one arm.
“Thank you.” Sierra straightened her sweatshirt and hurried past the man. She jogged across the campus, not sure where to go first. If the others were up, which she was sure they were, they were probably out looking for her. The best tactic, she figured, was to go back to Katie’s room.
When she reached the front door of Sophia Hall, Sierra had to wait for someone with a security card to come along and open the door. She sprinted down the second-floor hall and knocked once on Katie’s door before opening it. Katie wasn’t there.
Sierra was about to leave when she noticed a note on the bed. It read, Sierra, where are you, girl? If you come back here, call 240 on the phone at the end of the hall. That’s Security. Tell them you’re here and for them to page us. Katie.
Hurrying to the phone, Sierra followed Katie’s instructions. The person who answered and took the information said, “Where were you? Katie had us looking all over campus for the last hour.”
“I’m sorry. I was in the chapel.”
“Oh,” was all the person on the other end said. “I’ll page Katie and tell her you’re waiting for her in her room.”
Sierra went back to the room and quickly packed her things. She hoped her brother wouldn’t be too upset with her for p
utting everyone in a panic. Wes had wanted to leave early this morning. Nine-thirty wasn’t exactly early in his book.
Katie’s dorm room door opened with a blast of people all firing questions at Sierra at once. She tried her best to explain that she had been praying and fell asleep.
Vicki seemed to be the most understanding. “We’re glad you’re okay,” she said. “Wes said he would pull the van around in front of the dorm so we can get going. Do you have all your stuff?”
“It’s right here. Is he upset?”
Vicki shrugged. “I think he’s okay. He was worried. We all were. You just disappeared.”
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Sierra explained to Wes a few minutes later as she loaded her gear into the van. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “Next time leave a note.”
“Or at least a lock of hair and a trail of bread crumbs,” Katie said, still appearing flustered over the whole event. “It doesn’t look good on my record as a campus host when I lose visitors. We had half the campus out looking for you. I wouldn’t be surprised if your name appears in a tabloid somewhere tomorrow under the headline, ‘Campus Visitor Abducted by Aliens.’ ”
Katie’s humor helped to clear the tension with Wes and the others. Then another tension surfaced. It was time to say good-bye. Katie kept making jokes, trying to make light of the situation. They all hugged her, and Antonio gave the women his trademark kiss across their cheeks.
“So, e-mail me sometime and tell me what you decide, okay, Sierra?” Katie said. “Or just e-mail Christy. She’ll make sure I get the message.”
“I’ll e-mail you,” Sierra said. “And I’ll give Christy a hard time for not telling me she was planning to come here.” Sierra climbed into the van behind Vicki. “ ‘Bye, and thanks for everything.”
Sierra stared at every tree and every building as they drove off campus. It was quiet in the van, and she wondered if the others were trying to memorize every detail of the campus as she was. Or were they upset at her for wandering off and producing a Goldilocks-nap story to explain her actions? Once they had driven under the entrance sign and passed the stone pillars, Sierra apologized to everyone again.
“Don’t worry about it,” Wes said, catching her eye in the rearview mirror. “It’s no big deal. We need to make some plans from here on out, though. The rest of us talked at breakfast, and now we need your input. Do you still want to visit another campus?”
“I guess. I don’t know. Do we just need to drive straight home? What does everyone else want to do?”
“Hit the beach,” Vicki said with a grin. “Wes says he’s checked the map, and we can visit one of the colleges on the way to the beach and then head home. What do you think?”
“I’m all for going to the beach,” Sierra said.
“That’s what we thought you would say,” Randy said. He turned around in the front seat, and with a more serious expression, he said, “Are you going to apply to Rancho?”
Sierra felt caught off guard. “I don’t know. Are you?”
Randy nodded. “Yes, I think I am. I hadn’t thought much about going away to college. I thought I’d stick around Portland. But Rancho has an amazing music program. Did you know they even have a recording studio on campus? It’s the best setup I’ve seen yet.”
“What about you, Wes? How did all your meetings go?” Sierra asked.
“Great. I’m pretty sure this is where I’ll end up. I never imagined you would want to come here, Sierra.”
Sierra tried to evaluate Wes’s tone. Would he find it annoying to have his kid sister running around campus as a freshman when he was there for graduate school? She turned to Amy and Vicki and asked what they thought about going to Rancho.
“It’s a pretty big decision,” Vicki said. “I liked everything I saw. My parents will go over the catalog, and I know they’ll want to know what Rancho has that no other school in Oregon can offer. I’m sure I’ll have to come up with a scholarship or a grant or something.”
“I’d have to get a scholarship, too,” Sierra said. She dreaded the thought of presenting her parents with more paperwork after they had already filled out endless forms for her. But she hadn’t even known Rancho existed then.
Amy was sitting quietly in the back. Sierra reached over the seat and gave Amy’s leg a friendly squeeze. “What are you thinking? Would you want to apply to Rancho Corona?”
“I don’t think so,” she said in a low voice.
“Why not? What didn’t you like about it?”
“Nothing. It’s a great school. I just don’t think it’s for me.”
“Why not? If we all end up applying, you might as well apply, too.”
“Sierra, give it up,” Amy snapped. “I’m not interested, okay? Can’t you leave it at that?”
“Okay,” Sierra said, still looking Amy in the eye. Sierra waited a full minute before saying, “Don’t you think you can at least tell me why?”
“No.”
That was the last word they heard out of Amy all the way to the next campus they were to scout out.
nineteen
THE COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR turned out to be a quick one. It was a small college nestled in the middle of an L.A. suburb. Wes drove through the campus, and Randy ran out and picked up a catalog from the admissions office. Few students were around, since it was noon on Saturday and the weather was exceptionally nice and warm. Vicki said she guessed everyone had gone to the beach, and she was glad they were headed there, too.
Sierra had been to Newport Beach several times, but she hadn’t been to Huntington, which was the beach Wes drove to. He said he had been there before with his friend Ryan and that it was nice, long, and wide. As they climbed out of the van, they realized it was much warmer inland than it was on the coast. A thin layer of fog hung over the horizon, and a strong breeze whipped Sierra’s long curls into her face.
“Why is it so cold?” Amy said. “I was all set to put on my bathing suit, but this is as cold as the beaches in Oregon.”
“It’s spring, you know. It’s not summer yet,” Wes said. “Look, those surfers even have on wet suits.”
“It’s pretty here,” Vicki said cheerfully. She reached for her sweatshirt before Wes closed and locked the doors.
“Wait. I want my sweatshirt, too,” Sierra said.
“Me, too,” Amy said. “And I want a pair of socks.”
“Socks?” Randy said. “You don’t wear socks to the beach. You have to go barefoot. Once your feet get in the sand, they’ll warm up.”
“Oh, like you would know,” Vicki said, punching Randy in the arm. “You’re such a beach bum.”
“Hey, I saw it in a movie. They ran along the beach in the winter and buried their feet in the sand. They were smiling and didn’t look cold at all.”
“In the movies?” Vicki questioned. “Haven’t you ever been to the beach in California before either?”
“Nope,” Randy said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “And I’m beginning to agree with Amy. We could have gone to the coast back in Oregon and been warmer.”
“Come on,” Sierra said. “We have to at least walk in the sand and put our toes in the water. I can’t believe how hot it was inland and how cold it is when you hit the coast.”
They huddled close and marched stiffly through the cold sand.
“My feet aren’t any warmer,” Amy said. “Tell me, Randy, when are my feet supposed to warm up?”
“Maybe we should run,” Wes said. He took off jogging before the others had a chance to consider his idea.
Sierra broke from the others and ran after her brother. Several other joggers passed them along the wet sand where Sierra and Wes jogged in unison. A few surfers sat on their boards, waiting for the ocean to churn up a decent wave. Aside from that, very few people were at the beach today. No one sat under an umbrella eating lunch or lazed around soaking up the rays and listening to the radio. It did seem a world away from Newport Beach in the summer, which was h
ow Sierra remembered it.
Sierra and Wes jogged without speaking. Sierra paced her rhythmic breath by Wes’s. Their mom was an avid jogger, and all the Jensen kids at one time or another had learned some of her secrets. Sierra knew they had already broken their mom’s cardinal rule by not warming up ahead of time.
Wes stopped and motioned to Sierra to turn around and head back. The other three were huddled close together, still walking through the sand toward Wes and Sierra. When they saw Sierra and Wes turn around, they turned, too, and headed back to the van. Sierra was beginning to enjoy the sensation of the cold, firm sand on her bare feet. The wind was to their backs now, and the gusts felt much nicer pushing them forward than when they were in their faces. Even in its chilly, overcast state, the beach exuded a sense of power. The waves roared their way to the shore the same as they did on sunny days. The seagulls still screeched and swooped, even though the trash cans held no snacks for them today. Sierra liked the constancy of the ocean in the midst of one of its many moods. It was still the beach, and it would still be the beach the next time she came to visit it.
“Sure you don’t want to go for a swim now?” Wes asked, panting deeply when they all arrived back at the van.
“I’m positive!” Amy said. “Open the door, will you?”
She wore shorts, and her slender legs were covered with goose bumps. The rest of them had on jeans, which might explain why they weren’t quite so miserable. But now the bottom edges of Sierra’s jeans were wet and sandy. She quickly learned that could be worse than having goose bumps. At least the goose bumps could be rubbed away once everyone jumped into the car and turned on the heater. The wet, sandy jeans would take longer to dry and feel sticky for a long time.
“I liked that,” Sierra said after they had driven a few miles down the road. “I’m glad we went.”
“It’s nothing like in the movies,” Randy said.
“Is anyone else hungry?” Wes asked.
“I am,” Sierra said. “I seem to have missed breakfast this morning.”