Read Since I Fell for You Page 13


  One kiss.

  He needed one kiss.

  He needed to know her taste.

  He needed to hear the sounds she made when she was falling into pleasure.

  He needed her.

  "Roman."

  His name was the barest whisper on her lips. One that had him drawing even closer in the darkness, aware of nothing but the two of them and the kiss that they were finally about to--

  "Suzanne? Roman?"

  Christie's voice had them jumping away from each other like two guilty teenagers who had been caught making out...even though they hadn't gotten to the making out part.

  Roman slammed his head and shoulders on the gazebo's lowest beams, but he deserved a hell of a lot more pain than that for what he had almost done.

  What was he thinking, making a move on Suzanne out here? A handful of seconds more and he would have been all over her. As it was, anyone could have seen them pressed close like that. Not only her brothers and father, but also her cousins and friends from Summer Lake.

  "We're almost done with the flowers," Suzanne called to her friend. "Do you need help with something else?"

  "Yes, if you don't mind." Though she was obviously trying to downplay it, Christie sounded more than a little stressed out. "And it's kind of urgent."

  "We'll be right there."

  Instead of leaving the gazebo right away, however, Suzanne turned to look back at Roman. And when she did, he could see on her face all the desire--and the conflicted emotions--that he felt himself. He wished he knew what to say to change things so that she was just his client and he was just her bodyguard. He wished he knew how to stop wanting her.

  But he was coming up empty on both counts.

  "We should go help," he finally said.

  "We should," she agreed.

  And still, neither of them moved, staying right where they were in the middle of the gazebo, staring at each other. Until the slam of a car door abruptly broke the spell that the lake, the night, the upcoming wedding had woven around them.

  But Roman knew that it was more than just being here, away from the city, away from real life, that had changed things. It was their connection, one that was already so much deeper than he'd ever known with another woman.

  Silently picking up the empty flower buckets and the lanterns, they headed back into the Inn's kitchen to find Christie on her hands and knees on the floor. She looked up at them, nearly in tears. "I accidentally knocked the bite-sized cupcakes the baker delivered for tomorrow off the counter. All of the cupcakes."

  Looking closer, Roman realized there must be three hundred tiny little cupcakes smashed onto the wood planked floor.

  "We can make enough cupcakes tonight to replace all of these," Suzanne said. "Right, Roman?"

  Suzanne needed a break. She needed to relax. She had spent more than enough time this week going a thousand miles an hour. But her friends, her family, meant everything to her. She'd rather bake three hundred cupcakes in a hot kitchen until midnight than be out in the main room sipping cocktails with movie stars. And she obviously didn't care that she was in a fancy dress and heels either, as she was already winding her long hair up into a knot on the top of her head.

  He reached for Christie's hand and pulled her to her feet. "Let me finish cleaning the floor while you two find recipes and gather ingredients."

  "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

  Christie threw her arms around both of them so that the three of them were in a group hug. He tried not to notice how soft, how warm, how perfect, Suzanne's curves felt against him, but it was a losing battle.

  From the moment he'd set eyes on her, he'd been floored by her beauty. The first day he'd gone with her to work, he'd been stunned by her brilliance. And on the drive to the lake, he'd realized that she still ached from losing her mother, the way he still did. Those were some of the reasons he'd been so drawn to kiss her in the gazebo. But those reasons only scratched the surface.

  Because while everyone else was enjoying the party, she was poring over cupcake recipes to help a friend, her lower lip held between her teeth in concentration. She accepted an ex reality TV star like Rosalind Bouchard into her family with wide open arms and no judgment. Not only that, but she was willing to give her father another chance to be the parent he should have been all along.

  Suzanne Sullivan had the biggest heart of anyone Roman had ever known.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Even when Roman was dressed in a finely tailored dark suit that was perfectly appropriate for a wedding, he didn't quite look civilized. It was as if he were a lion trapped in a cage, pacing behind the bars, ready to break free at the first possible chance.

  This morning, she felt exactly the same way. As if the attraction to Roman that she'd tried so hard to keep leashed, to keep contained, was about to burst free in front of her entire extended family.

  She wanted to eat him up. Wanted to leap onto his lap and tear off his suit to finally feel his muscles, his skin, finally feel his lips pressing against hers. Against all of her.

  Last night, after Suzanne, Roman, and Christie had finally finished with hours of baking and frosting cupcakes, she'd been so tired she'd been tempted to curl up on one of the Inn's couches. But after Christie had dropped them back off at her father's house, she'd barely been able to sleep knowing Roman was only one wall away. Were it not for her brothers and father sleeping down the hall, she likely would have found herself standing outside Roman's door in her PJs, begging him to let her inside so that they could finish what they'd almost started in the gazebo.

  For today's wedding, she'd chosen a teal silk dress that was both elegant and sexy. All morning she'd been drowning in compliments from family and friends. During the past week, she'd been surprised to realize that she had begun to grow comfortable wearing something pretty and feminine. Comfortable enough that, for the first time, she wasn't instinctively brushing off their compliments.

  But right now, only the appreciation--and the heat--in Roman's eyes mattered. Appreciation and heat that he kept shuttering so quickly, she was left wondering if they had ever been there at all.

  Yesterday, he'd told her she was stunning in the gold dress. Today, they'd barely said a private word to each other. Yes, they'd been surrounded by her family since earlier that morning. But it was almost as if both of them knew how close they were to the edge. So close that even a few simple words might be too much for them to handle, to resist.

  Somewhere along the way, her intention to seduce him into making a move on her so that he would resign had shifted. She'd been attracted to him from the first moment--a white-hot attraction unlike anything she'd ever felt before. But even bigger than that was how much she'd begun to like him. She desperately wanted to get beneath the bodyguard shield he wore, and everything he'd told her about his past, his hopes, his fears, felt like golden nuggets.

  She still didn't want or need a bodyguard, but if that was the only way she could get him to stay...

  God, she could hardly believe she was thinking this, but the truth was she'd take it. Take whatever part of Roman he was willing to give her. If only for the possibility of one day getting to have that kiss--and then finding out if there was more, if there could actually be something real between them.

  Suzanne couldn't deny that a part of her longed for that to be the case. After all, in addition to the inescapable heat between them, there were so many places where they connected. Neither of them had grown up with a mom. They both loved the outdoors and being active. She felt safe with him--and not just because keeping her safe was his job.

  He made her feel special time and time again, with nothing but a few sweet, heartfelt words.

  Then again, given how stiffly he was sitting beside her right now, keeping a careful distance so that no part of him touched any part of her, maybe her mental gymnastics where he was concerned were a moot point.

  Fact was, just because she was losing sleep over him didn't mean he was losing sleep over her. M
aybe she was reading too much into a few looks, a few nice words, a few almost-kisses. Roman had obviously built a great career for himself by going for what he wanted. So if he did want to kiss her, wouldn't he have up and done it already, professional boundaries be damned?

  Still, as the first bars of the Wedding March rippled out from the harp, she had no choice but to be swept away by Smith and Valentina's wonderful romance. Smith was standing in the center of the gazebo, with his mother and brothers and sisters fanned out to the sides of the structure. Clearly, he was on pins and needles waiting for Valentina to appear in her wedding dress.

  When Valentina appeared at the very edge of the beach looking like the most beautiful bride in the entire world in a simple floor-length sheath with a ten foot long mist of a veil lifting in the breeze so that the sun shone through it, the gasp that left Suzanne's lips came at the same moment her first tear fell. And when she turned to see Smith's reaction, she saw that she wasn't the only one crying.

  Smith was too. One of the world's hugest movie stars was utterly undone by the woman who had captured his heart.

  "Suzanne." Roman's low voice sounded in her left ear, his hand resting for the barest moment on her lower back. "Are you okay?"

  More tears spilled down her cheeks as she looked up into his dark eyes. "I'm just so happy for them."

  He looked momentarily confused, as if he couldn't reconcile the idea of tears ever going along with happiness, but then he nodded. "I am too. They're good people."

  For a long moment, though Valentina was making her way up the grassy aisle that was strewn with rose petals of every color, Suzanne forgot to look back at the bride. All she could do was stare at Roman. And as he stared back at her, it was as though they were alone in the gazebo again, being drawn together by a force that was bigger and stronger than anything she'd ever known. It was only the oohs and aahs of the guests as Smith swept Valentina into his arms and kissed her that brought Suzanne back to reality.

  A reality where she and Roman were anything but alone--and where she still had no idea how he really felt about her. To be fair, she wasn't completely sure where she stood on things either. After all, she'd spent her entire adult life trying to make sure that her relationships met a very specific list of neat and tidy parameters that were the opposite of the way things had gone for her mother and father. She never let emotions get out of control. No one on either side was allowed to become obsessed with the other person. And both parties had to remain rational at all times.

  The way she felt about Roman broke all three rules. Her emotions were a roller coaster. She was more than a little obsessed. And she was very much afraid that rational had gone out the window that first night, when she'd practically been yelling at him on the sidewalk.

  She should know better.

  She did know better, given that the horrible destruction of her parents' relationship--and their lives--had remained big news in the art world for her entire life.

  But knowing intellectually what she should and shouldn't be doing didn't make it any easier to get the message through to her heart.

  "We're all extremely happy and honored that all of you came to Summer Lake today to be a part of Smith and Valentina's wedding," Calvin said from beneath the gazebo, where as mayor, he was now standing to officiate. "Before they speak their vows to one another, they would like to say a few words to everyone gathered here today." Moving against the back wall of the gazebo, Calvin gave the bride and groom the full stage.

  Smith and Valentina were holding hands as they turned to face their family and friends. Both of them were smiling, neither one looking at all anxious or nervous about the vows they were about to make.

  Suzanne's heart fluttered in her chest, the way it always did when she was at a family wedding. What woman wouldn't dream about being in Valentina's shoes one day, standing hand in hand with the man she loved, ready to make promises of forever in front of the people who meant the most to her? Suzanne's family history had definitely made her wary about all the ways love could go wrong--yet here at Summer Lake, beneath a bright blue sky with the sun sparkling on the lake beyond the gazebo, emotion swelled within her chest from witnessing love gone oh-so-right.

  Smith lifted Valentina's hand to his lips, their gazes holding as he kissed her skin. And when Valentina turned to speak to their guests a few moments later, Smith's awestruck gaze remained on her.

  "Smith and I will never be able to thank all of you enough for dropping everything to come to our spur-of-the-moment wedding." Everyone laughed, including the bride and groom. "It truly means the world to us that you could be here with us today, to be a part of the most important day of our lives so fa--" When she choked up on the word far, Smith drew her closer and gave her a soft kiss on her lips.

  "We hope you know how thankful we are that you've made this trek to the Adirondacks so that we could be with everyone we love and appreciate most," Smith said in his deep, mesmerizing voice. A voice most people would recognize with their eyes closed. "And now, I'm sure you'll all understand that we're going to keep our thank-yous short and sweet, because I've never wanted anything more than I want to marry Valentina." He turned to his bride. "Shall we?"

  Glowing with happiness, Valentina smiled and nodded.

  "They're so perfect together," Suzanne whispered, instinctively leaning into Roman's hard muscles. Though she hadn't meant to make physical contact, she also couldn't deny how right, how warm, how good it felt to be close with Roman--even if she only let herself stay that way for a second.

  Calvin moved back into place as officiant. "Valentina, Smith, in honor of the commitment you are both about to make to one another, you have each written special vows. Smith, why don't you begin?"

  Smith gazed in wonder at Valentina for several long moments before he finally spoke. "Four hundred years ago, Shakespeare wrote,

  Hear my soul speak.

  Of the very instant that I saw you,

  Did my heart fly at your service.

  "I spoke those words dozens of times from the stage before I ever truly understood them. Because the moment I first laid eyes on you, Valentina, my heart didn't just fly, it soared." When tears spilled down her cheeks, he reached up with their clasped hands to gently wipe them away. "I grew up with a mother and father who shared a love that was so strong, I thought I already understood big love. But the day you walked into my life, I instantly fell for your smart mouth, your brilliant mind, and your fierce passion for family. That was when I finally learned how deep, how true, love could be. There's nothing I wouldn't do to see you smile, to hear you laugh, to make you happy. And I've never wanted anything more than I want to be here with you now, knowing you'll soon be mine forever."

  Valentina moved her hands from Smith's to cup his jaw, her cheeks wet with tears. She was so radiant with emotion that Suzanne's chest squeezed tight.

  "I love you," Valentina whispered to Smith, before giving him a kiss so full of love that Suzanne felt it radiate from the gazebo to her seat.

  When the couple finally drew back from each other, Valentina took Smith's hands again. She inhaled a long breath as if to ground herself. "I always swore I wasn't afraid of anything, that there was nothing I couldn't handle if I only put in enough hard work and effort. And then I met you." Her lips trembled with emotion. "Falling for you was the scariest thing in the entire world, and losing my heart to you was the most terrifying thing I could imagine. Until I finally realized why I was so afraid. I thought I was going to lose myself in you, when the truth is that with you is where I've finally found everything that truly matters. Because of your support, and your belief in me, and your unconditional, unwavering conviction that we are soul mates. Your love was, and is, the biggest, most beautiful thing I've ever known. And I promise to love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and--"

  Valentina's words were lost as Smith tangled his hands in her hair and kissed her so passionately that Suzanne had to fan herself so she didn't overheat. Even Ro
man seemed blown away, saying, "Hot damn," under his breath.

  Everyone in the audience was on their feet cheering as the couple exchanged rings and Calvin said, "By the power vested in me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

  Suzanne had heard nearly a dozen touching wedding vows these past few years as her cousins from San Francisco and Seattle married off one by one, but they'd never meant as much to her as they did today. Everything Smith and Valentina had said to each other about fear and flying resonated deeply with Suzanne.

  Because the very first moment she'd set eyes on Roman, something deep inside her had soared.

  And nothing could possibly have scared her more.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Roman stood on the edge of the dance floor as Suzanne danced to a slow song with her father. She'd been dancing nonstop with family and friends since the band had begun to play. Though he tried like hell not to let himself notice, he hadn't been able to look away as she swayed her hips like she'd been born to dance instead of program computers.

  Seeing how innately sensual she had been during the previous songs had made his brain spin off in exactly the directions it shouldn't. Where he was the one holding her in his arms. Where they lived in a world in which he could have her. Where he was good enough for her. Where he deserved to know if she made love with as much passion as she approached everything else in her life.

  He shoved the thoughts away for the millionth time to keep his focus where it should be--making sure none of the guests made any suspicious moves toward Suzanne. All while keeping an extra close eye on Buck.

  For the past fifteen minutes, the movie star had been watching her, and Roman didn't care for the look in the other man's eyes. He wanted her, that was abundantly clear. After calling his investigators for intel on Buck, Roman knew more than he'd ever wanted to about the guy's sexual proclivities. Nothing even remotely illegal, but also nothing Suzanne needed to get mixed up in.

  Buck Elroy would hook up with Suzanne over Roman's dead body.

  Christie looked a little harried as she moved across the crowded dance floor straight for Suzanne and her father. Roman had learned yesterday what a large role William Sullivan had played in putting on this wedding. He'd not only built several temporary structures for the beach and the lawn, he'd also put together the lighting and run electrical throughout the site. After putting her hand on William's arm to get his attention, Christine pointed at the string of lights up on the porch of the Inn. One of the cables was hanging halfway from the porch ceiling.