She rubbed her cheek against his and his cock hardened painfully. Her body was so close. He could feel her heat, smell the shampoo in her hair.
Mason had understood what she needed immediately because it was what he needed, too.
Could he ever trust Mason again? Could he willingly stand still and let Mason rip his heart out again?
Still. It was odd to be so still because he was always in motion. Even sitting quietly, his mind always raced at a million miles an hour, but now he was forced to stop and really pay attention to her. Kitten was more animated than he’d ever seen her. Her green eyes were lit up, glowing with some deep desire, some glorious discovery.
She was discovering him and if he took this as seriously as he should, he suddenly knew he could discover her, too.
“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a kiss as much as I want this one.” He owed her honesty. He wanted her to know how crazy she was making him, how she was tearing down his walls and he felt like a kid again.
She bit her bottom lip. “Then I should make it a good one.”
She leaned over and Cole wondered if he hadn’t started something glorious.
* * * *
Kitten loved the way his skin felt under her fingertips. It was odd how touching another person with such singular intent made her feel so alive. Her sexuality had been explored in snatches of time spent in bondage. When her former Masters would bring her pleasure, she’d been tied up or bound down. Even in that consensual act, sex had been something that was done to her.
This was more. This required something from her. This was something she had to do. Discovery. Exploration. Kindness.
Tears filled her eyes and her hands shook slightly because kindness always got to her. Through all of her pain and heartbreak, she’d managed to not cry, but simple acts of kindness brought out her every emotion.
Cole was being kind, but she rather thought it was more than that. He wanted her kiss. No one had ever simply wanted her kiss.
Oh, she really hoped she was good at it.
He remained still though she could feel how tense his muscles were. Growing up she’d been very isolated. She’d gone to an all-girls school and her father had told her she couldn’t be friends with boys. If this had happened to her as a teen, she would have worried he was angry, but she could read the signs now. Her Master was aroused, but in control. As she moved closer and allowed her body to brush against his, she could feel the hard line of his erection.
She knew she should fear it, but years of therapy and work had done their job and now she just wanted so badly to know what it felt like to make love, to have a man who cared about her inside, to be truly intimate with another human being.
Or two. A vision of Mason crept across her brain like a spider waiting to strike.
She couldn’t go there. She couldn’t even think like that because Mason wouldn’t want her that way. Cole certainly didn’t seem ready to welcome Mason home with open arms.
Still, the thought of Mason moving behind her as she kissed Cole was right there, so vivid inside her head. She would be between them, but not the whole focus because they would love each other, too. The three of them would be a family.
Except she knew it didn’t work that way and the smart girl dealt with it. She only got one first kiss and she needed to think about that.
But not for long because he was right here. Yes, she often got distracted by shiny objects, but Cole was far more than shiny. He was hard and wanting.
She finally let her lips brush against his. Warm. So much softer than she imagined. Like a flower. Somehow she’d expected him to be hard everywhere, but he wasn’t. There were pieces of him that were very soft, very vulnerable. He was offering those to her and she couldn’t turn it away.
Heat sprinted through her system, sparking through her from her lips to her toes. The sensation sizzled along her spine, a clear answer to the question she asked every day. What do you want? What moved her? What made her want to dance?
Cole. Her Master offered her his body, his mouth, his trust.
She was going to take it, to truly enjoy it because that was how she honored what he was offering her.
Kitten played at his mouth for a moment, allowing her lips to move softly over his. She let her nose touch his and that seemed intimate, too. There was an endearing awkwardness that came with the act, but the minute she felt him chuckle, she let go of her self-consciousness. He wouldn’t be angry with her if she wasn’t good. He wouldn’t hurt her if she did it wrong.
“Give me your tongue, pet. I want to know how you taste.” His words seemed to rumble along her flesh.
She wanted to know how he tasted, too, so she let her tongue run along his lower lip. He groaned, a delicious sound, and then his mouth opened slightly and she felt the touch of his tongue to hers.
Pure fire seemed to race through her and she realized that all those little flares of arousal she’d felt before were nothing to this. This was desperate, wanting.
His hands found her hair, fingers sinking in, and then he was in control. His tongue surged into her mouth, rubbing and playing along hers. He moved against her. Their bodies nestled tight, fitting together with a perfection they hadn’t found before. The Master had cuddled her after scenes, but there had always been an odd disconnect as though they weren’t truly comfortable, as though Cole were only playing out something he thought he owed her. But this was pure. This was passionate.
As his tongue danced with hers, she felt her body come to life. Her nipples were hard against his chest, her pelvis rubbing that hard cock like she could ride him through his leathers. Her hands explored. She hadn’t touched him before because the Master had very rigid rules about how he played. He took control and until this night, she hadn’t even thought to ask if she could touch him. That was a mistake because he was a thing of beauty. Every muscle was sculpted to perfection, every line of his body a pleasure to feel and mold under her hands. As she kissed him, her tongue every bit as engaged as his, she realized that this was why they called it making love. It was active and required the both of them.
She felt his groan along her spine as he deepened the kiss. His hands ran down her body. He’d caressed her before but as with everything Cole did, there had always been determined control about his touch. It seemed as if he planned out every stroke, every move, but not now. His hands moved restlessly over her body like she was a store full of treats and he couldn’t decide which one to fully sample first. He skimmed her breasts, running down to her belly where the pad of his fingers touched her clitoris.
She gasped as he touched her more firmly.
“You’re already wet,” he moaned against her mouth.
So wet. And so hot. She couldn’t think about much beyond the fact that he was playing with her pussy. It had been a single kiss, but it went out of control and she loved it. She obeyed the distant Dom, but she was crazy about the desperate lover. A lover. Her lover.
“Please, Sir.” She wanted to call him Master, wanted for him to belong to her, but she couldn’t. She didn’t have permission.
His hand slid against her pussy. He was right. She was desperately wet, wetter than she’d ever been. Her pussy had gotten slick and she felt a pulsing need that seemed to come from her core, blanketing her in a pleasant haze of lust. She could barely breathe as one finger slid inside her body.
Even his finger was big. Cole was so huge. He made her feel delicate beside him. He pressed up against her pussy and Kitten could feel him moving, searching, exploring. She had to hold on to his broad shoulders to stay upright.
“Give it to me.” His tongue came out, licking along her lips before he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and began kissing her again.
She wasn’t sure what he meant until she felt his thumb on her clitoris. He pressed down as his finger seemed to curl inside her, finding that magic place. She cried out, but his mouth covered hers as though he was capturing and drinking down her pleasure. He kept up the rubbing, but it softe
ned as her orgasm pulsed and played along every nerve ending.
Her body felt drained, pleasantly so. A dreamy happiness filled her. This was better than play. This felt real, true.
“Well, perhaps we won’t add that last part into our protocol.” Cole pulled his hand out and steadied her on her feet. “We might never get to our sessions.”
A little of her haziness faded. How could he sound so calm when her mind seemed fuzzy and off balance. “Sir?”
His smile was a tight thing. “We’ll start on the bench. I’m going to go clean up. Place yourself there and wait for me. We’ll start with a flogger.”
Kitten stood there, her whole body languid, but her mind was suddenly tense. “Flogger?”
Cole stopped, turning and frowning her way. “I’m sorry I lost control. I meant to allow you to kiss me and I took that from you.”
“I liked it. I liked all of it.” Why was he talking about control now? What they’d just done hadn’t required control. It required passion and just for a moment, she’d had his passion and his focus and energy, and it hadn’t been a cool exchange of D/s power. It had been powerful without a contract or mutually agreed on boundaries. She’d trusted him and it felt like he trusted her, too. “Please, can’t I give back to you?”
He nodded, but she couldn’t help but feel some grim cloud had descended on him. She could still see his erection against his pants. She wanted nothing more than to drop to her knees and take him in her mouth. Or better yet, she could lie back on the bench and he could have her, take her with him, share the pleasure of their bodies together.
“Yes, you can by lying on the bench. I need a moment.”
“But I could ease you.”
His eyes flared, and for a moment she thought he was going to get angry with her. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. When they opened again, he was back to being the Dom. In control. Slightly cold. “I don’t want to be eased, Kitten. I want to be obeyed. I’ve given in to everything you’ve asked for today. I’ve been more than indulgent, so you will lie on the bench or say your safe word and we’ll both go to bed and you can meet me in the morning to discuss your place here.”
Her whole body flushed with embarrassment, shame. She moved quickly, placing herself face down on the bench, attempting to hold in her tears.
He was gone for what seemed like the longest time. She lay there, trying to find that place in her brain, her subspace, but that bit of nirvana eluded her. When she heard his boots thud against the floor in an even rhythm, she knew he’d found his control once more and she wouldn’t touch him again this evening.
“I didn’t mean to be harsh.”
But he had been. “I’m fine, Sir.”
Damn, but she was good. Her voice was even, calm. Sometimes she thought she should leave Dallas and become an actress because she’d gotten so good at pretending. She pretended she was calm, pretended she didn’t need things, pretended that not asking for what she needed was a sign of selflessness and not cowardice.
“But I wasn’t for a moment.” He sounded sad, a little heartsick, and it occurred to her to sit up and talk to him. “I need my control, pet. I need it for me and I need it for you. I hope you can understand.”
She didn’t. Not really. She had no idea why he needed control, but he didn’t talk to his subs. Not that way so she would likely never know. It seemed easiest to simply let it go. “Of course.”
There was a moment when she almost thought he was going to continue talking. He reached out and touched her back. “I don’t like feeling as though I’ve failed you. I’m not sure what else to do to tell you the truth. I think it’s a bad idea to follow my instincts. I could hurt you. I need to be in control so neither of us gets hurt. That’s the nature of our contract. Do you still want the contract? I don’t want to hold you to something you no longer want.”
She wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore. She’d thought she wanted a pure D/s relationship. What Cole had offered her seemed perfect. He was in control so she didn’t have to be. But now…now she wondered if there wasn’t something more. If she wasn’t something more…
They had months left on the contract she’d signed. She had months to figure out what she wanted, and she thought that he might not open this particular door again. He was safe. He would go out of his way, deny his own obvious needs in order to avoid hurting her. He would keep her body safe. Her heart was another story.
“I don’t want to leave, Sir.”
She heard his long sigh.
“I’m glad because I think we can make this work if I just try harder. I want to give you what you need. We’ll start with a count of fifty. Where are you, pet?”
She said what she always said. “Green, Sir.”
Green meant go. Yellow meant she was nervous. Red stopped the scene so they could talk. Kitten was never red. She was never, ever red. She’d learned to say yellow at times because it made her Doms less nervous.
She would throw him a yellow at some time in the session.
The first thud hit her back and she sighed. The deerskin flogger was a warm-up device. It was like a long massage. Cole worked quietly, moving it over the large muscle groups. He was very careful to avoid her spine, her kidneys. She looked at him in the mirror on the far side of the dungeon. She almost never watched him. She preferred to close her eyes and let her brain float, but now she watched the man who was working on her.
There was an odd tenderness in his eyes as his hand worked the flogger.
Kitten knew she wasn’t good at asking for what she needed, but what if Master Cole had the same issues? What if he was being honest and truly worried he would hurt her?
She thought about Mason alone in his room. What if Cole had been burned before and he was afraid of that fire?
Kitten let her eyes drift closed. She wasn’t afraid of the fire now that she’d felt it. She wanted it again. She simply had to show her Master that she wasn’t going to burn out of control. And perhaps show him that sometimes fires that had burned themselves out could be stoked back to life.
Mason was the key. If she could get them to talk, really talk, perhaps they would see that whatever happened between them wasn’t so insurmountable a wall. She’d seen how they looked at each other.
The gentle thud of the flogger was doing its trick and she relaxed, her mind already plotting because she wasn’t the type of girl who ever gave up.
Chapter Seven
Mason woke feeling more rested than he had in years. He opened his eyes and realized why. He wasn’t in that fleabag apartment of his with the neighbors screaming or the sound of gunfire booming through the air. It was quiet here.
Because here was home and home felt so good. Warm and safe and comfortable.
Mason forced himself to sit up because he didn’t get to be warm and safe and comfortable anymore. He might be in the house he’d lived in once, but it belonged to Cole and it was no longer Mason’s home.
“Huh?”
He turned and saw an unusual sight. Kitten had been sitting at the edge of his bed and he’d obviously woken her up. She was in a chair she must have pulled from the desk. He couldn’t imagine she’d been comfortable, but she seemed to have fallen asleep leaning over with her head across her arms. The little minx was wearing pink pajamas, her hair tousled to a sexy mess and her eyes sleepy. And he got his morning friend for the first time in what felt like forever. Damn, but it was good to know his dick still worked. “Good morning, gorgeous girl. Did you have fun watching me sleep?”
The sweetest blush pinkened her cheeks. “I wanted to be close in case you needed me in the night.”
“That’s what the intercom is for.” He couldn’t help but sit up a little straighter as he gestured to the tasteful box on the wall that worked the house-wide intercom system. She’d snuck in after her session with Cole. She’d gotten off his bench, gotten dressed, and made her way not to Cole’s bed, but to Mason’s.
Yeah, he had a real shot with her. She was desperate to be ne
eded. The good news was, Mason was pretty desperate himself.
Kitten frowned. “I forgot about the intercom. I just know the doctor told me to wake you every few hours, but I fell asleep. You could have died because I was asleep.”
He chuckled. “Not at all. I only had to stay awake for twelve hours, sweetheart. I was perfectly fine to go to bed. You’re cold and that can’t have been a comfortable position. Come up here and warm up. I’m afraid I turned the air conditioner down because I like to sleep in the cold and I haven’t been able to in forever.”
She hesitated for a moment, her eyes going to the door.
“It’s not locked,” he said quietly. “Cole can walk in at any moment, but then we wouldn’t be doing anything naughty now, would we?”
A new plan had started to form in his head the night before. It was really better than his old plan. His old plan had lacked a certain passion. His new plan had plenty of it, and a nice side dish of karma to go with it.
He was going to get back in Cole’s good graces. He could do it. He just needed a bit of his old charm. It was obvious that Cole had softened up the tiniest bit. It was also plain that Cole was lonely and he wasn’t quite sure how to reach his precious new sub.
But Mason knew just how to handle her. And Cole. He would spend a few weeks getting back in Cole’s bed, enjoy his time as a switch again. If Cole was on his side, he would have access to any number of helpful items including Cole’s computer and contacts. He would find a new job in a new city and then Cole could be as alone as he wanted to be.
Bye-bye.
Yes, that was a much better plan and it meant much quicker access to Kitten and her gorgeous body. He didn’t even think about the fact that it also meant access to Cole. No. That was just something he would have to get through.
“He didn’t forbid me from being near you and I’m sure he wouldn’t want me cold.” She slid under the covers, sighing as she settled in. Her eyes were sleepy as she gave him a grin. “That’s so much better. Why do you like to sleep in arctic-like temperatures?”