Though lately Mason had been more and more on his mind. He didn’t quite understand what Julian meant by “breaking” Mason, but he was unwilling to ask for clarification.
“That’s a shame. I watched you with him. I rather thought it was love. You proved something different. Know that if you treat Kitten with such indifference, you will deal with me, Cole. I will not be as simple to handle as Mason.”
Julian stood and walked out the door, his message plain.
What the hell had Julian meant? He’d loved Mason with everything he’d had. How was he supposed to forgive him for what he’d done? Mason had broken with everything that they had agreed on.
Julian was married to Danielle and Finn. Wouldn’t he break with them if they harmed each other?
Or would he simply try to figure out what had gone wrong?
Cole took a long breath. Julian didn’t understand. Mason had caused the death of their sub. His sub. Mason had put pleasure before the woman Cole had pledged to protect.
He was in the right. Surely.
He stared at the door Julian had shut behind him, memories of Mason playing through his head.
* * * *
Kitten Taylor let the sun warm her skin as she lay out by the pool. She took a deep breath. The air was humid, sultry. Not that sultry would help her in any way. Dallas was in full-blown summer but there was nothing hot about her world except the temperature.
“Do you need anything?”
She kept her eyes closed because the last thing she wanted to see was Ms. Hamilton frowning down at her. Ms. Hamilton’s face was in a perpetual frown that not even Botox could solve, though Kitten had thought several times about injecting the woman in her sleep.
“No, thank you.” The Dallas sun heated her up. She was wearing a modest two-piece that Julian had purchased for her the prior summer. It made her resemble a Hollywood star from the sixties, but she had to admit, it fit her look.
The housekeeper sighed as though horribly put out and Kitten heard her very functional heels begin to tap impatiently against the cool-crete of the pool area. She couldn’t stand Ms. Hamilton. Her eyes were always judgmental and she didn’t even try to disguise her hatred of Kitten.
Of me. Sometimes it was hard to remember to refer to herself in the first person. It was a sure sign that her life had taken a wrong turn that she had to remember narrative terms outside of her English class.
“Really,” she said quietly. “I’m fine, thank you.”
“The schedule Cole left says it’s time for your snack.”
She opened her eyes and sighed. Ms. Hamilton had a tray in her hand. She was sure it included something very healthy. Apparently Cole wanted her thin as hell. It was working. The food he fed her during the day had caused her to lose five pounds during the month she’d been his submissive. The only time she ate well was at night when she ate with him. If he didn’t come home for dinner, she was given a salad and nothing else.
She was starting to think this had all been a horrible idea.
She was also starting to think she didn’t need this anymore. She’d longed for her own Master. Cole Roberts was everything she’d dreamed of, but he didn’t seem to want her the way she wanted him. He wasn’t cold. He could be quite warm when he wanted to be. He just didn’t seem to want her.
Kitten was starting to understand she needed a little indulgence. She wasn’t the piece of trash Hawk made her believe she was. She was something more. She was the same girl who got straight A’s in high school and was voted Most Likely to Succeed. Unfortunately, she should have been voted Most Likely to Get Kidnapped and Forced into Slavery, but she was out of that now. “I’m not hungry.”
“Your hunger doesn’t matter. Cole said it’s time for you to eat. You will eat or break your contract.”
That contract was starting to chafe. Mightily. “Just leave it.”
There was a little clatter as Ms. Hamilton placed the tray on the table near her. “Well, I’ll make sure Cole knows how you feel.”
She was sure Ms. Hamilton would. She was sure the housekeeper wrote up reports on her daily. Cole would soon ship her right back to Julian Lodge and Kitten wasn’t sure how many chances she had left. Julian had taken care of her because Finn Taylor was her first cousin. Finn was Julian’s male submissive. Julian loved both Finn and his female sub, Dani. He loved them so much he took in their stray relatives who had been traumatized by forced slavery.
Years of living under Julian Lodge’s roof had taught her a couple of things. First, it taught her that she was fucked up. Like totally, maybe irrevocably. Second, even if she could never find that girl she’d been, she could find a new her. She could find a Katherine Taylor who could live and love and have a happy life. Julian had taught her that. Masters Chase and Ben had taught her that. Her friend Nat had taught her that.
She was more than a victim. She was Kitten. She was an I.
I am worthy.
It was her new mantra. That and I hate kale salad.
She turned away from the “snack” she’d been brought. Kale wasn’t a snack. Popcorn was a snack. Chocolate was a snack. Undressed kale salad was a punishment and she hadn’t earned one.
She’d been damn near perfect, not that it had gotten her anything. Sure, he’d spanked her a couple of times and he’d gotten her off, but no sex for Kitten yet.
Damn it. No sex for me.
Maybe her Master didn’t really find her attractive. He’d bought her clothes and cuddled her while they watched television, but every night he sent her to her room and he went to his.
It made a girl think. And not good things.
Her phone rang, a little trilling sound that reminded her of bunnies and flowers and daisies. She glanced down and grimaced. Cole.
He was the most gorgeous man she’d ever met and she was thinking about ducking his call.
She sighed and flipped the switch to answer. “Hello.”
“Hello? Is that what I get?” His dark voice did things to her girl parts.
“Hello, Sir.” When he was with her, when she could see him, she had hope. When he was away, there seemed to be so many walls around him.
“Hello, pet.” If only she really was his pet. “Tell me what you’re doing.”
She smiled. That made her feel wanted—the little hitch in his voice that let her know he actually was interested in the answer. “I’m lying by the pool.”
A deep chuckle came over the line. God, the man had the sexiest voice. “Tell me you’re not wearing a thing.”
She wasn’t supposed to lie to her Master. “I’m in my swimsuit.”
He sighed. “Tell me you’re wearing sunscreen.”
He was deeply interested in sunscreen. And vitamins. And her diet. “Yes, Sir.”
“I’m so glad to hear it, pet. I don’t want my lovely sub to be sunburned.” That deeply sexy voice might mean something if he’d ever really touched her.
“Did you need something, Sir?”
There was a pause and then he sounded slightly disgruntled. “Not really. I just wanted to call you. If I’ve interrupted something, I certainly apologize.”
This was what they seemed to be best at. Getting themselves into uncomfortable situations. It wasn’t like her relationships with Masters Chase and Ben and Master Logan. Well, except for the fact that Master Cole didn’t want to have sex with her either. “No, Sir. I was just worried I had forgotten something.”
His voice softened. “You never forget anything, sweetheart. You’re very good at remembering. I’m looking forward to our session this evening.”
Her body tightened. The only time she felt connected to her gorgeous Master was when they spent time in the dungeon. In the month she’d been living in his home, she had spent six glorious evenings getting familiar with his very excellent flogging and spanking techniques. While he was working her over, she was relaxed and happy, but being sent to her own bed was getting old. She hated to sleep alone. She rarely slept more than an hour or two when she wa
s all by herself.
“I am as well.”
“We’ll begin an hour after dinner. I thought we would start adding in some protocol. I’d like you to be naked tonight for dinner.”
That was promising. She quite liked being naked. Her exhibitionist side was one of the things she’d discovered about herself. “Yes, Sir, if it would please you.”
“Would it please you?”
“Yes, Sir. It would very much please me.”
He chuckled. “I rather thought it would. You prefer your own skin.”
She’d fought very hard to be comfortable with her body. Sometimes she could still hear Hawk shouting at her that she was too thin or too fat. She was never perfect. Never attractive. “It is nice to feel the air on my skin.”
“You don’t have to wear a suit to swim.” There was a small pause. “I was surprised to find you had one.”
“Oh, Master Julian was worried about becoming a nudist resort. He said if I did it then Master Chase would want to as well, and he didn’t want to look at that.”
Now her Master laughed long and hard. She enjoyed the deep sound of his amusement. When he laughed like that, she felt like she was giving him something he needed. “All right, then, pet. I’m going into a very important meeting. I won’t be available for the rest of the afternoon. If you need anything, ask Ms. Hamilton. I’ll see you at dinner.”
The phone disconnected and she was left with that odd feeling she’d come to associate with Cole. It was somewhere in between hope and desire and a blank acceptance that nothing worked out.
She wanted Cole. He was big and strong, but had such kind eyes. They were a stark blue that warmed up the minute he looked at her. She’d thought at first that it was desire in those eyes, but now she wondered if what Cole felt for her was something closer to pity.
She’d been an object of pity for long enough. Still, she wasn’t sure she was ready to walk away. Walking away meant disappointing the few people who loved her. Finn. Nat. Her friend Haven. They would all think she’d gone backward.
She sighed, allowing the sun to warm her skin. Maybe she should slip out of her suit and feel the air against her flesh.
She was going to have to make a decision soon. She was twenty-five years old. She was alone in the world. She had to figure out who Kitten Taylor was. She knew who Katherine Taylor had been. She’d been a college student studying education and dating a boy her mother approved of who she’d barely kissed but talked about marrying.
Her father didn’t talk to Kitten Taylor. Her mother turned her back on Kitten.
On her. Her mother had turned her back on her. Because they didn’t understand this daughter. Because in so many ways they believed she’d done something to justify her kidnapping. Her rape. Her torture.
Tears pierced her eyes, but they were actually a lovely feeling. They came on their own now. She didn’t need a spanking to cry. She could do that all on her own. She could find a well of sorrow and it was pure. How sad was it that she was grateful to be able to cry?
Or how beautiful. Katherine Taylor had taken her emotions for granted. Kitten did not. Kitten found a profound beauty in the small things.
Like sitting near a pool on a sunny day. She sat up, her nose wrinkling at the sight of the salad Ms. Hamilton had left. Snack? Barf. She would wait for dinner. For now she would sit by the pool and hope that tonight brought something new. Maybe a long kiss from her Master.
A nice long fuck would be better though.
She was on the edge of her lounge chair when the phone rang. Not the cell at her side, but the one inside the house. She could hear it ringing in the distance. One. Two and then three rings.
Kitten wondered why Ms. Hamilton wasn’t answering. Four rings. And then nothing.
She looked at the back of Cole’s ridiculously large house. Her Master was wealthy. There were five bedrooms in the house plus a lovely pool house that was connected. Ms. Hamilton lived in a small one-bedroom guesthouse on the grounds. Kitten squinted and sure enough, Ms. Hamilton was walking toward her home, her gait sure and stately.
The phone began to ring again.
Kitten sighed. She wasn’t supposed to answer the phone, but someone obviously needed to talk. She crossed the patio and slipped into the house, the conditioned air cool on her skin. She shivered just a little as she answered. “Hello?”
“Is Cole Roberts there, please?” a crisp, feminine voice asked.
“I’m sorry. He’s at work. May I take a message?” She’d been Leo’s administrative assistant for over a year. She’d learned a few things.
“I’m a patient advocate at Parkland Hospital. There’s a patient here named Mason Scott. Mr. Roberts is his emergency contact. I very much need to get in touch with Mr. Roberts or a woman named Emily Yarborough.”
She’d heard the name Mason Scott before. Julian and Leo had talked about a Mason and being worried about him. And they’d talked about the fact that Mason had been close to Cole.
She knew she shouldn’t, but she just couldn’t help herself. “This is Emily.”
She was definitely going to get in trouble for that.
There was a sigh over the line. “Thank god. Mr. Scott has been in an accident. He’s got a concussion and a sprained ankle. He’s in and out of consciousness. It would really be helpful if one of you would come down here and stay with him until we can release him. Are you his sister?”
Kitten wasn’t dumb. She knew that her Master had been involved with Mason Scott. She knew her Master had loved him. She was so deeply interested in meeting Mason Scott. “Yes. I’ll be down there as soon as I can. What is his prognosis?”
Her Master no longer talked to this man, but that didn’t mean a thing. He was important—the way her college boyfriend had been important. Michael Rhodes had been her everything and then she’d been nothing because she wasn’t pure and perfect. Kitten needed to see Mason. She needed to understand why Mason was no longer special to Cole Roberts.
“It’s good. He’ll be fine if he gets proper care.”
Like she had needed it. Nat had saved her, and Finn and Nat and Julian and everyone at The Club had made sure she was all right. “I’ll make sure. Can you give me a list of what’s required? I can be very precise if I know what to do.”
She would take care of him. Like she’d been taken care of. She could make sure Mason Scott survived. Her heart swelled at the thought. She could be important to someone.
There was a long sigh over the line. “Yes, miss. I can make sure you know what to do. Thank you. He seems like a nice man. I wanted to ensure that he gets what he needs. He seems to think no one will care what happened to him.”
Tears welled in her eyes. She knew that feeling. She’d been alone for so long. Even when she’d met Nat, she’d wondered if she was expendable. She didn’t know this man, but her heart ached for him. “I’ll take care of him.”
Mason Scott. He didn’t know it yet, but he needed her.
Chapter Two
Mason stared at himself in the mirror. Sure, he looked a little tired, but otherwise he couldn’t tell he’d been in a terrible accident. How the hell could he have a concussion? “There’s not even any bruising.”
The nurse sighed. “You can’t see the egg on the back of your head, Mr. Scott. Put down the mirror and slide your fingers over it.”
He stared at himself, feeling that odd sense of disconnect he’d felt every day for the last two years. Like he didn’t quite recognize the man in the mirror. One day he’d known exactly who he was and then the next he’d been a complete stranger.
A stranger who might have finally hit rock bottom.
He ran his hand over the back of his head, wincing slightly. Yep, there it was, proof that he couldn’t even fucking drive right. And he had no idea how he was going to pay this damn bill. He’d lost his health insurance years ago when Cole had decided he wasn’t worth knowing anymore. Not only was he not worth knowing, he was worth utterly destroying.
God, that s
till ached. He could remember the moment when his boss had fired him and told him he wouldn’t work for any of the big firms again. When Cole Roberts was done with a person, he was finished. There were no apologies, no discussions. Cole hadn’t listened to him in any way. The doors to the house they had shared had been locked and there had been a note explaining that Mason’s belongings would be delivered to his new address.
Years he’d loved Cole, supported him, propped the fucker up, and that was what he got.
And now he worked for shit money and was sliding into thirty-five without anything or anyone to call his own. And he didn’t even have a fucking car since he’d apparently wrapped it around a truck.
“How’s your pain level?” the nurse asked, her clipboard in hand.
Tell her it’s horrible. Get some good fucking drugs and go out the right way. No one gives a shit. His parents had dropped him because he was gay. They didn’t care that he wasn’t really gay, just bi. The fact that he liked men had been enough. All his friends had dropped him, too. It hadn’t mattered because he’d had Cole. And now he was utterly alone and had been for years. Take the drugs. Like you take the alcohol. Take a couple of hydrocodone with a bottle of vodka and none of this will be meaningful. You can go where you’ve always been going. You can finally have some peace.
“I’m fine, thank you.” His head was pounding and his ankle hurt worse, but he didn’t trust himself to take only what he needed. That piece of him that had always wanted to self-destruct was so much louder now. One day it might drown out all the other voices, but not today. He could hang on today.
The nurse frowned down at him as though assessing his stubbornness. He was pretty sure she’d come to the right conclusion when her eyes went all sympathetic. “All right. If that’s what you want. How about some ibuprofen? It will help with the swelling.”
He nodded. He could handle a little less swelling, especially since it was only his head. God knew his ego hadn’t swollen in forever. Rather like his cock. His cock had become a useless thing, never twitching or demanding anymore. Somewhere along the way it had realized what it needed was gone forever.