Logan Green sat outside the door which had been left open. It seemed his friend had heard the whole humiliating scene.
“Are we leaving?” Logan asked, his big body coming out of the chair he’d been perched on.
“I am.” Just because he wasn’t welcome didn’t mean Logan shouldn’t get what he needed.
Logan’s mouth curled down. “Uhm, that guy sounds like an asshole. I’ll just go with you. We can be back in Bliss by morning.”
And Logan would continue down the same self-destructive path he’d been on for almost a year. No. He couldn’t let that happen. Logan had been through too much to throw away this opportunity. “Stay. He’s a good guy.”
“He didn’t sound like it.”
Wolf shook his head. “It’s only with me, man. I’m telling you, he’s great with his patients. You won’t find a better shrink. He won’t give up on you. He’ll stick with you until you make a breakthrough, and then he’ll stand by if you falter. Ask Trev. Ask anyone who’s worked with him.”
Logan’s eyes slid toward the elevator, seemingly looking for an escape route. “I don’t know.”
How did he explain this? How did he let Logan know what kind of a person his brother was? “Our dad left when we were just kids. I was a baby, but Leo was five. As you know, our mom has some issues. She worked, but it was hard. We barely managed to keep our cabin. Leo had to grow up so fast, man. I think that’s why he doesn’t want me around. I remind him of how crappy it was. When Ma lost her job, we didn’t have enough to eat. Do you know what that asshole in there did? He would put half his plate on mine. He was eleven years old. Do you understand what it takes for a hungry eleven-year-old to give up half his food? He sacrificed for me. I didn’t turn out as good as he thought I should. That’s on me, not you, man. He will help you.”
Logan nodded. “Okay.”
Wolf slapped him on the arm. “And I’ll buy the first round when you get back to Bliss. It’s going to be fine.”
He turned to go, and Leo stood in the doorway.
“It wasn’t so bad. Our childhood, I mean.” He looked down at the floor suddenly. “I don’t resent you, Wolf. At least I didn’t think I did. Julian surprised the hell out of me with this. I had no idea you were coming to stay. Julian’s manipulating everyone. It’s his weird version of love. Look, I sort of had a relationship with the woman he’s asked you to top.”
“Fuck, I didn’t know.” That explained a lot.
“It doesn’t matter. It didn’t work. We were friends, nothing more. But she does need you. I apologize. Please stay.”
He should go. He should walk the fuck out the door. He’d wanted to come to Dallas to have a relationship with his brother, not to step into the middle of a shit storm. If Leo said he was involved with this woman, then it had been serious. Leo wouldn’t use those words on someone he felt casually about. Could he top his brother’s ex? Fuck. He should walk away and be satisfied with e-mails and the occasional visit. It’s what most brothers had.
“Sure. I’ll stay.”
He’d never been satisfied with ordinary.
Chapter Two
Shelley McNamara stared out the window at the city streets. The Dallas skyline rose all around her like some giant enfolding her in its arms. She’d grown up in the country with wide open spaces and nature all around her. She’d thought she would hate it here, but she loved the city.
It had been right to come to Dallas. She’d needed the change, needed to get back to work. But was she making a horrible mistake with the rest of it? She was waiting, counting down the minutes until she met with this man, this Dom who would guide her.
“Getting nervous?” Danielle Lodge-Taylor asked. She walked through the hallway of the penthouse she shared with her husbands. She glanced over at the new furniture that had arrived just hours before. “This is so lovely. Oh, Shelley, it’s beautiful. What a transformation.”
Shelley smiled. “I’m glad you like it.”
“The old room was elegant, but there was no warmth to it. I think Julian told the last designer to just buy the most expensive stuff possible with no regard to comfort.”
Shelley was happy with the results. Decorating this glorious penthouse had been her reason for living for the past several months. It had been the perfect project to sink into while she made the transition from angry widow to something…more. “I think this has a much warmer feel to it. I’m anxious to get to work on Julian’s office.”
“You’ll do a fabulous job,” Dani assured her. “Now, I’ll ask again. Are you getting nervous?”
The gorgeous blonde smiled as she took a seat, carefully lowering her very pregnant body into the chair.
Pregnant. Shelley was almost thirty. She’d thought for sure she’d have kids by now. Of course she also thought she would be happily married. Unfortunately, she’d picked an asshat, douchebag, drug-dealing, blackmailing son of a bitch as a husband.
“Oooo, you were thinking of him. I’ve come to think of that as your ‘I hate my ex’ face.”
Shelley smiled. She couldn’t help it. Something about Dani eased her. In the time she’d been at The Club, her friendship with Julian Lodge’s wife had blossomed into something she held very dear. “Sometimes I wish I had been the one to shoot him.”
“I know the feeling,” Dani said. “It would have given you closure. But he’s gone now. You know if you let his memory hold you back, then he wins.”
This was an old argument. Since she’d come to work for Julian two months before, she’d heard a lot of this from Dani. She’d poured her heart out to the gorgeous blonde and found a willing ear and a stubborn mouth. Dani was firmly in the “move on” camp. She’d been the one to finally convince Shelley she should give BDSM a serious try. “I know, sweetie. And yes, I’m nervous. Terrifically nervous. Even though we’ve talked and sent a bunch of e-mails back and forth, it’s different to meet him in person. Were you this nervous before you met Julian?”
Dani’s mouth came open slightly, and she shook her blonde hair. “Oh, I didn’t meet him the way you’re meeting Master Wolf. This is very traditional. My meeting with Julian was not. I met Julian when I jumped into his car as I fled my wedding to a man named Jimbo.”
Shelley couldn’t help the giggle that escaped. She still had a hard time reconciling the elegant, educated woman in front of her with the redneck girl she claimed to have been. “Jimbo?”
Dani nodded. “Jimbo Smart. It’s a misnomer. And he’s now married to my sister. They both work out at the spa I opened. I saw him earlier, you know.”
“Master Wolf?” God, she was so curious. Master Wolf. Who was named Wolf? She had to wonder if it was a nickname. She would feel more comfortable with someone named Bob or Randy. Why wasn’t any damn Dom named Master Bob? No, they were Julians and Wolfs and…Leo.
“Yes, I meant Master Wolf,” Dani said.
Dani didn’t seem to have noticed her mental drift off. Shelley was happy she didn’t have a “pining for Leo” face.
“And?” Maybe he would be ordinary looking. Or much older. A nice man who would lead her on this journey but who wouldn’t tempt her. Yes. She could use a friendly, kind mentor.
Dani’s eyes lit up. “Don’t you ever tell Julian I said this, but I think my eyes just about popped out of my head. He’s gorgeous. I mean it. I drooled a little.”
“Are we talking about Wolf?” Finn Taylor asked as he walked into the room. His hand was on his tie, pulling it off. He set his briefcase down. Finn Taylor was Dani’s other husband. Suddenly Shelley found herself surrounded by happy ménages.
But she only wanted one man. Leo. And she could never have him.
“Yes,” Dani said, flushing slightly.
“Don’t feel bad, baby,” Finn assured her. He leaned over and brushed his lips across hers, his hand caressing her round belly. “That man is sex on a stick. Holy hotness. You would have to be blind not to notice him. I just get the feeling there’s something Julian’s not telling us about him.”
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Dani looked up at her husband, her eyes narrowing. “Is he plotting again?”
“He’s always plotting, baby. I just haven’t figured this one out yet.” Finn sat on the arm of the comfy seat and turned to Shelley, his hand never leaving his wife’s belly. “Welcome to sub world, Shelley. Doms never let you in on their plots, so you have to be sneaky.”
“It’s called topping from the bottom. We’ve made an art of it.” She leaned her head back. “We’ll figure it out.”
“So he’s attractive?” Would she think so, or was she so caught up in Leo that no other man would ever quite do?
“Take it from a bi-guy, he’s gorgeous. I would guess he’s ex-military, but I think I see a little cowboy in there, too. And he was nice. I only talked to him for a minute, but I got a good vibe. Some Doms are real assholes, but he seemed like a genuine guy.”
And he would be her Master. Well, for training purposes. What was she doing?
Putting her life back together. She straightened her shoulders. She wasn’t going to sit around any longer. She’d moped for long enough. It was time for Shelley McNamara to figure out who the hell she was. She’d been Bryce’s wife. Before that she’d been Trev McNamara’s sister and her parents’ daughter.
It was time to find out if she could just be Shelley.
“When is your meeting?” Dani asked.
She glanced up at the clock. Too soon. Way too soon. Could she rethink this? Get out of this? She could just tell Julian Lodge that she’d reconsidered and realized that it was ridiculous to think she really wanted to get tied up and spanked and forced to call some stranger Sir.
Especially when all of her fantasies didn’t involve a stranger but a man she’d dreamed of every day since the moment she’d met him. She’d made horrible decisions that had led her to being forced to throw the only man she’d ever really loved out of her life, and she didn’t deserve a second chance. Not that he seemed to want to give her one. He wouldn’t even look at her. Two months and all she’d gotten from him was a cold nod as they’d passed each other in the hall.
As if she didn’t really exist. As if he’d never kissed her, never offered to take her away.
She needed to forget Leo Meyer.
“She’s got her ‘pining for Leo’ face on,” Finn whispered.
Shelley laughed. It felt so good to laugh again. It felt amazing to be able to laugh at her own ridiculous self. How many years had it been since she’d simply laughed without thinking about how her husband would take it? “I was really hoping I didn’t have one of those.”
Dani shot her a sympathetic look. “No, sweetie, it’s totally there. Are you sure you want to do this? Julian could talk to him. Julian is very good at manipulating people. If Leo was your trainer, I seriously doubt he would be able to keep his hands off you. It could bring you together.”
Leo had made it plain that it was over. She was self-aware enough to admit that she’d hoped she would walk in and Leo would fall all over himself to get to her, but that wasn’t what had happened. He wouldn’t talk to her. He would smile and make chitchat with all of the other employees. Leo Meyer was like the life of the party until the moment he realized she was there. Then he would shut down like someone had unplugged him.
She didn’t want that for him. “No. Maybe I should go somewhere else. I think I’m making Leo miserable. That wasn’t my intention.”
Finn leaned forward. “No. I don’t think Julian is going to allow you to go somewhere else. Come on, Shelley. You can’t cut off a piece of yourself just because Leo has a stick shoved up his ass.”
She shrugged. She had cut pieces of herself off for a really long time. “Maybe I’m not submissive.”
Lie. Her husband had used her general nature against her for years. It was why she’d been attracted to him in the first place. She was deeply attracted to a commanding presence. Bryce just hadn’t had the soul to back it up. She longed for a man who knew how to give back.
“Perhaps you aren’t ready.”
Four words proved just how submissive she was. Not the words, but the way Julian Lodge said them. She turned and found Julian standing in the doorway, his eyes pinning her where she stood.
Julian Lodge was one amazing-looking man, but it was his presence that moved her. And Julian Lodge knew how to love his partners. She wanted what Dani had found. Hell, she wanted what her brother had. Trev had found himself in this place. This place and the man in front of her had transformed her brother from an addict who thought only of himself to a man she was damn proud of. Trev had gotten over his guilt to become the kind of man who everyone relied on.
“I am ready, Sir. I’m sorry. Sometimes I let the past weigh me down.” But she couldn’t drown under it. She couldn’t.
Julian’s face softened. “I understand that. I truly do. Would it help at all if I told you I think Leo is just being stubborn?”
“No. He has his reasons to be stubborn. Please, if he’s against this, let me know. I’ll finish my work here and I’ll go. I owe that much to him.”
“He’s agreed. And he’s agreed to my choice of Dom.” It was said with the slightest tightness to his tone. Shelley had to wonder exactly what had happened. “Let it go, dear. Everything is in place for you. Leo will be fine. He’s excellent at seeing other people’s issues, and not so good at seeing his own. But he is dear to me. I can’t force him to do something he doesn’t want to. I know he will never believe me, but I truly selected this Dom because I think he’s what you need. And I believe you will be good for Master Wolf. He’s different.”
“Good,” Shelley said, her mind made up. She would meet Wolf. She was deeply intrigued by the man. He’d seemed smart and funny and sweet over the phone. A little like Leo. She would be grateful for all of the amazing gifts Leo had given her. She loved him. Loved him deep and true and forever. She would go to her grave with Leo Meyer on her mind, but she wasn’t good for him. Maybe Julian was right. It would be good to bring some joy to someone. “I’m looking forward to finally meeting him in person, Sir.”
Julian smiled, a little uptick of his lips. “Excellent, because he’s ready to meet you. Please find something appropriate to wear. The jeans and paint-splattered T-shirt are fine for working on the nursery, but I expect your new Master will want something a bit more feminine.”
Shelley looked down at her clothes. She’d brought a little bag with her best slacks and a pretty silk shirt. It was professional with a little hint of sex appeal. She hoped it hadn’t wrinkled. She’d spent the day with the painters working on the mural for the baby’s room before the furniture had arrived. She must look horrible, and she didn’t have much time.
“Stop panicking,” Dani said, hoisting herself up. Julian and Finn both hurried to give her a hand. “Guys, I don’t need a crane to get me out of a chair. Not yet.”
“Danielle, you will allow your men to help you.” There was no mistaking the command in Julian’s voice.
Dani softened, letting her husbands pull her from the chair. She went up on her tiptoes and kissed Julian. “Yes, Julian.” She turned to Shelley. “Come on. We’ll get you all gorgeous for Master Wolf. I’ll dress you up since I can’t dress myself up anymore. I have a ton of beautiful clothes I can’t wear since none of them were made for a woman who swallowed a watermelon.”
“That’s ten, Danielle. I can spank you without harming our baby,” Julian promised.
“He’s been practicing,” Finn said with a smile. “After this, he can write a book. The Dom’s Guide to Maternal Discipline or Getting Your Freak on With Child.”
Julian sighed. “Your sarcasm grows by the day.” He sank a hand in Finn’s hair before kissing his partner. It was a sweet kiss of deep longing. When Julian let Finn go, he stared down. “Sex on a stick? Really? Holy hotness?”
Finn grinned. “It was all a lie, Master. I didn’t want Shelley to know the new Dom was really hideously unattractive.”
Julian laughed, ruffling a hand through Finn’s hair. “Yo
u keep it that way, Finn. Go on, ladies. Finn and I will have a drink while we wait. I’ll walk you down, Shelley. Master Wolf would like to go over the full contract before you both sign.”
She was going to sign a contract with a man. A contract that detailed all the things he could do to her. It was weird but exciting. She was starting a new chapter in her life.
The Shelley chapter. She followed Dani. There was no way she started her new life in a dirty T-shirt and jeans. She would walk into it with her head held high and hope in her heart.
And her love for Leo would always be there, but in the background. She would go on. She would find someone who needed her.
These were her baby steps, and she would take as many as she had to until she found her peace.
* * * *
Senator Mitchell Cross stared at the man in front of him. He was a fit man, though Cross doubted he got his physique in anything so tame as a gym. His eyes were a cold, flinty gray, his hair cut in a precise military style. He wore simple, generic clothes, khaki pants and a T-shirt, well-worn boots. But it was very easy to picture him in fatigues. Steve Holder looked exactly like what he was. A mercenary.
Of course, he was a mercenary with several government contracts that could blow up in all of their faces. He was far more dangerous than just his well-trained ability to kill a man.
“You say you know this man?” Cross slid a picture across the desk toward the soldier of fortune. And fortunate he was. Holder was a millionaire because of under-the-table deals he’d made with Cross himself. He had a lot to lose, too. It was precisely why Cross had called the man in.
Holder stared down, his expression closed off. He had a long scar running down his face beginning at the side of his left eye and running down to his chin. Cross wouldn’t like to know what had happened to whoever had given him that scar. “I served with Lieutenant Leo Meyer for about two years. He was in my SEAL unit.”
Before Holder had stopped serving his country and started serving himself. Cross couldn’t blame the man. The Navy paid shit. So did the Senate. $174,000 a year barely paid for his wife’s cocaine habit, much less for his mistress. And his investments were drying up. Old money wasn’t what it used to be. He’d had to set up a nice little network of lobbyist money and selling favors to men like Holder in order to keep up a proper standard of living.