CHAPTER XVI
A PRANK----
MARGERY resumed her place in the household, falling into herhousewifely ways with only a brief time allowance for getting out ofthe holiday spirit and into domestic harness. Indeed, she was morecare-taking and pervading than ever, which proved that the growing-upprocess, which was going on so fast as to dismay her mother and Happie,was going on in the right way.
Margery's coming left Happie more free to enjoy herself, and she threwherself into the outdoor life with all the zest of the season. Longwalks in the glory of wind and color of early autumn, chestnutting,wild grape gathering, these were the pleasures offered by the mountainsnow, and the children were half wild with this first taste of them.Happie yielded herself to the delight of them, as if the mountain windswere sweeping her through the weeks on their strong pinions. Lessonsat home were begun, but Mrs. Scollard did not insist on much yet,reflecting that if they were to spend the winter in the Ark, closehoused by snow and cold, the children would have enough of being shutup.
Margery did not often join the others on their rambles; she preferredsolitary walks, and loved to sit with her mother sewing and talking inthat sweet intimacy which dawns between a good mother and her daughterwhen the latter is growing up into a friend.
It somewhat reconciled Happie to the lack of Margery that Grettahad more time to go about with her than earlier in the season, whengardening and farming claimed her. Everything in her home was gettingso unbearable to Gretta that she was thankful to escape to study andto roam with Happie. It was so apparent that her affairs were reachinga climax that was bound to end in a complete change, that there wasless risk in taking comfort, since nothing could make her cousins moreunkind to her.
"Eunice's cousin is going to teach the school this winter," said Grettaone afternoon. She spoke out of a long silence, and straightenedherself painfully. She had been bending over a rock upon which she wascracking chestnuts with a smaller stone, she and Happie being aloneout on the side of a hill upon which stood three noble chestnut trees,dropping their treasures lavishly for who would come to gather them.
"Eunice's cousin?" repeated Happie. Gretta and she always omitted Rebafrom allusions to home affairs, she being but Eunice's reflection."What relation is she to you?"
"She isn't any relation to me; she's Eunice's second cousin on theother side--her mother's side," said Gretta. "Here are some bigchestnuts! She's a young girl no older than we are, and if they don'thave a poor school this winter it'll be queer! Why, she can't keeporder any more!"
"Is she graduated as a teacher?" asked Happie, wondering.
"Mercy, no! She went to the Normal for one term down at Schultzburg,and she got a certificate, but she was there only one term. Why, sheyet wears dresses only down to her insteps!" said Gretta.
"Is that the way they make teachers?" cried Happie. "Why, I never heardof such a thing!"
"That's the way," said Gretta nodding. "Sometimes we have a goodschool--we had a fine teacher three winters while I went--but we'remore than likely to get some one who can't teach. This is a real nicegirl--Hattie Franz is her name--but she isn't fit to teach school.You see, when she applied, the directors hired her because her fatherlives around here, and they all know him. There was a young man appliedat the same time who really was a normal graduate, but Hattie got itbecause the directors wanted to favor her father."
"Well, of all things!" cried Happie with the scorn of her age foranything like personal favors, or political "pulls." "I don't considerthat fair; the directors ought to do their duty and get the very bestteacher they can. As if the children's education wasn't more importantthan pleasing some man who happened to be a neighbor! What makes thepeople stand such directors?"
"I guess because they're used to this way of doing things, partly, andpartly because they want their children made teachers the same way whentheir turn comes," said Gretta, laughing at Happie's disgusted face."You don't seem to know as much about meanness and folks' ways as I do;you must all be good and unselfish in New York."
"I suppose we aren't," began Happie slowly. And Gretta laughed again.
"But I'll tell you," Happie went on, rallying to her own defense."We don't see the mean and wrong things as plainly as you do in thecountry. Our friends are nice and high-minded, and all that, and theother side doesn't get turned around. Here you know every single thingthat people do wrong--almost what they think. Maybe this Hattie Franzwill teach better than you think she will."
"Oh, I like her lots," said Gretta shaking her head positively, "butshe won't do that. She's good-natured, and she's bright enough, butshe's easy-going and sort of lazy-minded, and she couldn't makechildren behave, not one bit! They'll do just as they please; thelittle ones because she will hate to scold them, and the big onesbecause they are too much for her, and then the little ones will beworse than ever. I can see just how it will go!"
"What a pity----" began Happie, but Gretta interrupted her with anexclamation, turning to Happie with laughter flashing over all her face.
"Suppose we do see it, Happie!" she cried.
"See what? The school; visit it?" asked Happie.
Gretta nodded hard, and Happie began to protest that she would neverdare do such a thing when Gretta cut her short.
"You don't know what I mean," she said. "I mean go just for fun, andall dressed up. We'll get the queerest clothes we can find, longskirts, bonnets, old-fashioned jackets, and thick veils. Then we'llgo down to the schoolhouse and knock at the door. One of the childrenwill open it, and we'll walk in. Hattie won't know you anyway, and I'llrisk her finding out who I am till I'm ready to have her. I can imitatealmost any voice I ever heard, and I'll talk Dutch so she won't everguess who it is--you never heard me talk Dutch, did you? I can do it aswell as any old woman in the county, and Hattie never'll guess untilI slip out of the Pennsylvania Dutch into English and my own voice.I like Hattie and she likes me; she's full of fun, and she'll laughherself nearly sick over us; she won't be one bit mad! Oh, come on,Happie; will you do it?"
"You don't think there would be any harm in it?" Happie hesitated,greatly tempted to say yes on the spot, for she dearly loved a frolic,and it had been long since she had had one.
"Of course it's no harm," said Gretta eagerly. "Nobody could object.Any one dare--no, any one _may_ visit school; you say I must not saydare for may! We'll have a good laugh all around, and nobody be theworse for it. We'll go late, just before she closes, and I believeHattie will be much obliged to us for cheering things up once! Why,what harm can a little frolic do?"
"I don't see, I'm sure," said Happie slowly. Then she dimpled andlaughed, picturing to herself the funny effects she and Gretta wouldmake in their costumes, sailing up the aisle of the little schoolhouse."All right; I'll do it. When shall we go?" she added.
"Just as soon as we can get the things ready," cried Gretta gleefully."The sooner the better. Eunice's attic is full of the queerest trash!You needn't bother to hunt up anything; I'll find enough for us both.To-morrow afternoon meet me over behind the mill at half-past two.You might bring some veils, and a looking-glass, but I know I can geteverything else. Oh, say, Happie! Suppose we carry handbags, satchels,and fill them full of little bottles and jars, and tell Hattie we areselling stuff for the complexion! Paints and powders, and balm, andlotions, and hair dyes, and try to make her buy some! She's got aboutthe reddest cheeks and nicest skin of any girl around here, and sheisn't a minute over sixteen; don't you think it would be funny?"
"Perfectly beautiful!" cried Happie with a jump up and down, to andfrom the rock on which the chestnuts grew. "I'll bring the satchels,Gretta. It's going to be great!"
The two girls immediately set off for their homes full of thisdelightful plan. Happie poured forth the outlines of it the instant shegot into the house. Bob petitioned to be allowed to see the girls afterthey were dressed, and Laura and Polly and Penny begged to accompanythem. Mrs. Scollard was half afraid that they were going to
maketrouble, and she hesitated about letting Happie have the queer satchelwhich she meant to borrow from Rosie, but Happie assured her thatGretta knew, and Gretta said there could be no harm to the school inthe visit, at the end of the day and that the young teacher would enjoyit as much as they did. Her mother was always in sympathy with innocentfun, so she consented to Happie's going, and having consented, lookedas if she would like very much to join her.
"You see," Happie explained, "this is a girl of our own age, or aboutthat, whom Gretta knows; it isn't like a stranger, or a full grownteacher! And won't it be funny to see us so solemn and dignified, andGretta talking Dutch 'yet,' as they say up here, and the girl teachernot knowing her? And then to see her face when she finds us out?"
"It certainly will be very funny, and I really don't believe there canany harm come of it; it is only a prank," said Mrs. Scollard.
"That's all, you clear-sighted motherums!" cried Happie joyously. "AndI may ask Rosie for her satchel?"
"I have another for Gretta, a queer-shaped affair that looks as if itcame out of the original ark," said Miss Bradbury, whose pleasure inthis proposed visit was refreshing to behold.
The next day Happie and Gretta met at the appointed place, each ladenwith the fantastic fruits of their gleaning. They began to dress withecstatic giggles, each helping the other to assume incongruous garmentsof various sizes and dates. It was not long before the giggles gaveplace to peals of laughter until both girls got quite weak from mirth,and it was with the greatest difficulty that the toilets were completed.
Gretta wore a skirt of ante-bellum days. Its fulness hung many-foldedaround her tall figure, for lack of the hoops originally intended toset it out. Over this she wore a remarkably short bolero jacket of anot-much-more recent period; its rounding front and very abbreviatedback revealed a striped waist of bulging fulness, fastened by blackchina buttons fully an inch and a half in diameter, decorated withbright pink roses and blue morning glories. Her thick dark hair Happiemade into an immense knot half way up her head, twisted so tightthat it stuck out "like a chopping block," Gretta herself said. Thisresolute-looking coiffure was surmounted by a broad-brimmed hat,trimmed with green ribbons and a band of black velvet, both much theworse for wear, while a discouraged feather drooped, guiltless of curl,over the brim on the left side.
Happie's costume expressed a more chastened spirit than Gretta's. Herskirt was as scant as Gretta's was full, and went off in a long trainwith narrow ruffles curving themselves into waves around the bottom.Its color was a faded brown. Over this hung a coat, apparently intendedto go with the immense fulness of Gretta's skirt. It went out into deepplaits from each seam, and its sleeves might almost have made a jacketas large as Gretta's; full at the top were they, standing out in greatplaits after the fashion of the time of its present wearer's birth.It had been a dark blue; it was still blue, in spots, but yellowishstreaks ran down the folds of its many plaited skirt and sleeves,and its velvet collar was white along its edges. Happie's hat was abonnet. It was straw, broad in the crown and narrow in the brim. Itstrimming was a ribbon originally black, but now greenish; however, itsbows drooped in a manner more mournful than any mere blackness couldhave made them. A bunch of perfectly straight thin ostrich feathersadorned this bonnet's front, while on the left a bouquet of fadedviolets, ranging from soiled white to dubious purple in color hungdisconsolately by their untwisted green cambric stems. As a last touch,and in case they should remove the thick brown and dark blue veilswhich were to disguise them, the girls had wet red ribbon in ammoniaand daubed their cheeks with it. The vivid crimson gave a lurid effectto their faces in spite of the fact that Happie's rippling hair hadbeen forced into severe smoothness over each temple, and knotted lowin her neck under her travesty of a bonnet, as near to the manner of adecorous old woman as such hair could be made to go.
As soon as they could tie the veils over their remarkable headgear,pull on their wrinkling gloves, and control their laughter sufficientlyto walk straight, the girls started out across the fields and down theroad towards the schoolhouse. It was encouraging that Jake Shale passedthem with his slow team without recognizing them; they saw him turningaround on his seat to look after them as long as they were in sight,wonder and speculation written on his usually impassive countenance--aswell they might be.
Arrived at the schoolhouse they pulled themselves together, broughttheir satchels to the fore, and Gretta, saying with a sharp indrawingof her breath: "Now for it!" knocked on the door. It was opened byan exceedingly small boy in knickerbockers that had the effect ofscallops, the legs were so short.
"Dare we see the teacher?" asked Gretta with so good a PennsylvaniaDutch accent that Happie's shoulders shook under their manifold plaits,and she nearly betrayed herself by an audible giggle.
The diminutive boy was not equal to meeting this demand upon him.He held the door and his mouth proportionately wide open and the twostrange--and stranger--ladies stalked past him upon the startled visionof the girl teacher.
"Miss Franz, we come together to see your school once. This is myfriend; I am myself. My friend, you dare sit down. Der teacher don'tseem to know you dare, say not? But she is young yet; she willlearn," said Gretta serenely, as she placed a chair for Happie, whodropped into it, while Gretta seated herself with much spreading ofher voluminous skirts, and with many airs. The young teacher stoodclutching her own chair by its back, turning fiery red and deadly paleby turns as her amazement and terror wrote themselves on her chubbyface. It never occurred to her that she was the victim of a joke; shefelt perfectly sure that these women were insane. She made up her mindon the spot that they had escaped from the distant insane asylum, andshe found much comfort in remembering that her unruly eldest scholarswere boys, and were far bigger and stronger than her callers.
"I sought you would like some zings for your face, teacher," saidGretta, opening her satchel. "We sells zings to make you pretty. Hereis a bottle yet makes you lose all what sun does to you--freckles, undsuch a tan. Here is a little pot of stuff what makes you red in yourcheeks; you like to be red und pretty, say not? What you want to buy,teacher?"
"Nothing at all," said Hattie Franz, feebly.
"Nosing!" exclaimed Gretta. "You wait once und see how pretty thegirls gits yet, und you'll be sorry, I guess. You know that girl downto Neumanns'? She takes all I give her. Down in the city, folks usessuch a stuff, and you'd ought to look nice like them city girls. Saynot? No? Well, then! You go on mit your school, my good girl, und we'llwait a little to sell you zings." Gretta smoothed her ridiculouslylong-fingered gloves complacently, and bridled. Happie had not lookedfor such clever acting from quiet Gretta. "Leave me hear what youteaches deze little folks," she added.
Hattie Franz faced her pupils. "The third reader class may read," shesaid faintly. Six children came forward reluctantly, eyeing fearfullythe veiled figures before them. "Read up loud once!" commanded Grettasternly to the wavering line. "My friend is deeve!"
The "deeve" lady seemed to be variously afflicted, it struck the poorlittle teacher. In addition to her deafness she appeared to be subjectto a nervous twitching; her shoulders shook, and the veil over her facetrembled.
The third class in reading made a sorry showing. It is next toimpossible to read when one is staring straight ahead, and this classcould not get their eyes away from their visitors.
The visitor who did all the talking shook her head. "Does thedirectors know how bad they can't read?" demanded Gretta, varying thedialect for her own amusement. "When we was to school we could readmore good when we was littler, say not?" she called loudly to hersupposedly deaf companion. "Can they read Dutch yet?"
Hattie Franz shook her head. "We teach only English in the schools,"she said, her voice shaking. "I guess they're scared."
"I guess," assented Gretta emphatically. "Und you too, you seem scaredtoo yet! What fur a person do you guess I am? We won't eat you, littleteacher!"
Hattie seemed less sure of that than she would like to be. She wentdown the aisle and
whispered to one of the older girls.
"Yes, I'll go right off," the visitors heard her reply, and theyguessed that frightened Hattie was dispatching her for aid.
"Sing for us once, little dears," said Gretta, having no mind to allowthe aid to come. "Und you, you big girl gitting up dere, you sit downund sing mit der littlest ones. School ain't out yet!"
The big girl obediently dropped back into her seat, and Hattiequaveringly began the air of "Bring Back My Bonnie to Me," thoughshe could not remember a word. The children joined in a very slenderchorus. The girls on the platform were so uncomfortable that theydecided to reveal themselves; with the thick veils over their facesand their rising laughter, they felt nearly on the verge of suffocation.
"Teacher, would you mind going down to the door once, and find myhandkerchief for me? Maybe I dropped it coming up," said Gretta.
"Teacher" was only too glad of the chance to get away from theimmediate neighborhood of her grotesque callers, of whose lunacy shebecame more convinced every moment. She hastened down the aisle, andnearly fainted as she heard the wild whoop which arose behind her,accompanied by thumpings and poundings on desks and floor. Apparentlyinsanity was contagious, and the children were as mad as the visitors,from whom her one idea was to escape.
Seizing the last desk for support the little teacher forced herselfto turn and face the danger, to discover the cause of this suddenpandemonium. Turning she rubbed her eyes to make sure that she sawaright. Or was it she, after all, who was crazy? There, still in theirplaces on the platform, were the two women, still in their singulargarb. But they had thrown back their veils, and poor little HattieFranz saw, instead of the glaring eyes of the pair of lunatics whichshe felt sure had invaded her domain, the familiar dark eyes of GrettaEngel, flashing with mirth, and the laughing ones of the girl from NewYork, both dancing and sparkling at her above the crimson streaks whichthe ammonia-dipped ribbon had left upon their cheeks!
The older boys were shouting, pounding, cheering; the older girlsshrieking with laughter, and the little children were pulling andpounding one another, screaming at the tops of their voices in thegeneral excitement.
The relief of the reaction from her fright, the irresistible funof the situation was too much for the pedagogic dignity of thesixteen-years-old teacher. She ran up the aisle as fast as her feetwould carry her, seized Gretta by the shoulders and shook her as hardas a girl of five feet one can shake a girl of five feet six.
"Gretta Engel, you mean, mean, dreadful girl!" she cried vehemently. "Ithought, of course, you were a lunatic, and I think so now more thanever!"
Gretta caught her breath, half choked between laughter and her shaking,and the school applauded, highly appreciating their teacher's energy,as well as her being fooled. "To think that you hadn't the least idea!You hadn't any idea, had you?" gasped Gretta.
Hattie Franz gave limp Gretta a few parting shakes, herself weak fromlaughter. "How could I have an idea?" she demanded. "My, but I wasfrightened! I'll pay you back for this trick, Gretta, if I have to waittill we are ninety-nine years old! How shall I ever get the schooldismissed and these children in order?" she sighed.
Gretta turned to the pupils. "Young ladies and gentlemen," she began,and the shouting ceased; the children waited to see what more fun wascoming. "You will please sing 'Marching Through Georgia,' and then allmarch yourselves home. Who locks up, Hattie?"
"Aaron Shale; he keeps the key and makes the fire," said Hattie.
"Then you let Aaron stay here, and slip away with us," said Gretta."He'll close up." But she reckoned without her host--the host ofchildren. The older ones stampeded after the teacher and her visitors,and formed into line, ready to escort them through the village. Upthe road Gretta and Happie spied Bob and Laura, with Polly and Penny,waiting to see them pass.
The last thing that the girls wanted was to be turned into a sort ofAntique and Horrible parade, like the children who masquerade in NewYork on Thanksgiving day. There was but one thing to be done, andthat was to run for it, up the backwoods road, and across the fields.Hastily bidding Hattie good night, Gretta and Happie gathered theirfantastic garb about them and fled with all their might. The lastvestige of that afternoon's frolic to be seen was two veiled ladies inmarvelous costume, fleeing at top speed towards the old grist mill.