Chapter Twenty-Nine
IT WAS A bright November day, a week from Thanksgiving. I’d just finished cleaning the apartment, from scrubbing the bathroom and kitchen floors to buffing the countertops. Jamie was out with some of his friends. It was a few days after the date, and, finally, Nina was coming over to tell me her side of the story. As for Jamie, he’d left the details of their meeting private, locking me away from whatever he was feeling.
She came in while I was bleaching my bathtub, and when I went out into the foyer to meet her, I tore off my gloves and smiled. Nina had lost some weight from her pre-wedding workouts, which was not in my opinion very healthy; yet Nina was one of the prettiest women I’d ever met, and this was not an exaggeration. Being her friend compromised my self-esteem.
“Hey, you seem busy, so I brought McDonald’s.” She lifted a bag of junk food.
“But you hate take-out!”
“But you love it, and consider this payment for being my shrink.”
“Let me wash my hands. Sit on the couch, I’ll be there in a moment.”
When we were comfortably settled, the only sound being my munching on salty fries, Nina sighed, sticking her legs beneath her. “Emma, I’m even more confused. I’m not sure if I still love Jamie or not. You see, he seemed like a different person to me.”
“He’s changing, but I guarantee he’s still the same old Jamie underneath.”
“You think?”
I pulled a sliver of cheese from the burger, allowing the foam to dissolve on my tongue. “I know so. He’s a big teddy bear. Bear due to his new physique, which I’m sure you’ve noticed; teddy, because he’s the sweetest guy we know.” I set my food on my lap, my eyes narrowing. “If you are having any reservations, do you believe this is the best idea?”
“I have a month to decide. December 13th will be here soon enough, but I wanted to be sure. I’m pretty sure I’m still so much in love with Chris that I’ll marry him. I just had to be sure, to come here, to see Jamie one more time. I needed to close that door. You see, what set him off was when he asked about my wedding, and I admitted that I always knew Chris was the man I was going to marry. He asked me why I decided to meet up with him, and then I felt like a sour skittle. I told him the truth, and then he exploded. ‘You’re not even sure who you love?’
“I felt terrible, and so I told him I needed to leave before we both knew things would get too heated, and that would ruin our relationship altogether. It was miserable. And the worst part is that I invited him to my wedding, Emma. The words came out before I could think. Why would I—his former girlfriend—have invited him to my wedding, when he admitted he is still in love with me? That is like asking for disaster to happen.”
“I’m sure he’ll decline the invitation,” I offered, not sure if he would or not. Jamie would not do anything out of spite, but if he really did want to show support for Nina and her fiancé, he would go.
Nina’s big eyes started to tear up before returning to normal. “I am an awful human being. If Chris knew what I have been doing behind his back, he’d end it right now. But I wanted to be sure.”
“And are you?”
“I think so.”
“That doesn’t sound very reassuring, Nina.”
“I’m ninety-nine percent sure that I am done with whatever I had with Jamie. We may still have feelings for each other, but I am sure that the man I want to be with is Chris.”
My heart felt gutted, because Nina was lying to me, and to herself. Anyone with half an eyeball could see that she was still in love with James Stewart, even if she did not believe so herself. So it was up to me to prove to her that she did love Jamie.
“Why do you have that look, Em? You seem like you’re going to throw up.”
“Have you ever listened to Lissie? I want you to look up the song “Ojai,” and tell me how you feel. Replace Ojai with Jamie, and then you will see my reaction to your predicament.”
“I am engaged to Chris. You know this.”
I nodded, upset that even in our little tiffy, Nina remained a calm human being. “I know. And if you are sure you are in love with him, then you should marry him.”
“I can’t believe I am getting married next month. The thought is so foreign to me,” she said, rubbing her face, a little droplet of mascara smudging underneath her eye. “Oh my gosh, I just wish I could be you. Most of the time, really. You’re so darn independent. ‘I don’t need a man! I’m from Texas!’”
“After all your time of knowing me, that is how you view me?” I swatted her arm. “Erinina Huston, you should know by now that…”
She playfully rolled her eyes. “I know. You may not agree with me, but I envy you every day, my love.”
“You aren’t serious.”
“Of course I am!”
This was my cue to roll my eyes, so I sucked in air and said, “Tell you what—I’ll marry a man as soon as California goes Republican.”
“Stop it, you’re not going to be an old maid.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that!”
“Emma, you’re beautiful, intelligent, and quite spicy. Give it time—you’re going to be the woman every man desires. Long, red-hot hair like a chili pepper.”
“Shut up! You’re crazy.”
She gave me a look and propped her feet on the coffee table as Felix/Fiona swiped his/her tail over Nina’s foot. “I’m crazy? I think the real crazy one here is this darn cat. Okay, instead of everybody else, who only wants to chat about freakin’ weddings, how about we watch some stupid reality TV?”