“Um, what are you doing?”
“I’m hacking into the class schedules,” he says. “They tell you what students are in which class. So we can find out where she is.”
“You can … hack?” I ask, shocked.
“Sure. My mom was always too poor to pay for a good computer when I was a kid, so I built my own from spare parts I found in the garbage outside this electronics store,” Sean explains. “And taught myself how to get free Internet access and stuff.”
Interesting. I had no idea just how talented this boy was. I only saw him as a cute skater, when really there’s so much more to him. He must be totally smart to hack a computer. I can barely figure out Facebook.
“Here we are,” Sean says, before I can comment further. I lean in to focus on his pointing finger. “She’s in Room 203, Algebra.”
“Cool! Thanks!” I cry. He turns around quickly and we bump noses. Kind of Eskimo kiss. How can he not feel the sparks flying between us? “Uh, sorry,” I say, not really meaning it.
“It’s okay,” he says, rising from his seat. “Let’s go.”
I raise an eyebrow. He wants to come with? I figured he’d be ditching me right about now.
“‘Kay,” I say, trying not to sound too delighted.
We exit the classroom and hang a left and then take a flight of stairs up to the second floor. The second bell has rung and so all the kids are in class, making the hallways easier to navigate. But still, I’m glad Sean’s with me on my secret mission. I’d be completely lost in this maze of a school without him.
“This is it,” Sean says, pointing to a closed classroom door. “Room 203.”
I surreptitiously peek through the small window and see Starr sitting in the back of the classroom, a scowl on her face.
“She’s in there,” I whisper-squeak to Sean. “Now what? Do we wait for her to come out?”
“Class just started. You’d have a long wait,” he replies.
“Oh. Well, that sucks.”
“Nah, here’s what you do,” Sean says. “You walk into class like you own the place, right? And then you say you’re here from Guidance and Starr needs to report to the Guidance Counselor immediately.”
I look at him. “And that’ll work?”
“Yup.” He nods confidently. “Guaranteed. They send student messengers all the time. Guess ‘cause they don’t want to use the intercom during class and interrupt everyone.”
“Wow. The nuns at Sacred Mary’s would never fall for that one,” I say. “But okay.”
I take a deep breath and wrap my hand around the doorknob. I wonder what will happen if I’m busted. Will they call and report me to my school or just kick me out of Woodbury? Will Sean get in trouble for being with me?
I pull open the door and step into the classroom, concentrating on looking both confident and bored. “Um, like, hi?” I address the teacher, using my best dumb blond voice. “The Guidance Counselor wants to see Starr—er … Ashleigh down in her office? Like immediately?”
Out of the corner of my eye I can see Starr staring at me. She looks shocked. I swallow a smile.
“Okay,” the teacher agrees, without missing a beat or looking the least bit suspicious. “Ashleigh?”
Four girls stand up.
“Uh, Ashleigh Robinson,” I clarify.
Three sit down. Starr makes her way to the front of the classroom.
“Thank you, sir,” I say to the teacher. Then I turn and walk toward the exit.
Once outside, we reclose the classroom door. Sean beams at me. “Good job,” he says.
“What the heck are you doing here?” Starr demands, looking rather pleased to see me.
“Shhh,” I say. “Let’s go somewhere we can talk.”
We head back downstairs. Sean suggests we hit the auditorium, which is only used during after-school drama practice. Sure enough, when we arrive, the place is deserted. We plop down on the stage.
“So, you going to tell me what you’re doing here now?” Starr asks again.
I laugh. “It’s actually more fun keeping you in suspense, but okay.” I stretch out my legs on the floor. “I wanted to make sure you were all right. I mean, one day you’re at Sacred Mary’s and the next you’ve been transferred. And Stuart and Sophie said you were grounded and that your dad took away your phone. So, like, I figured the only way to find you was to come to school.”
“But why aren’t you in school yourself?” “I was. I left.”
Starr stares at me, openmouthed. “You left?”
“Yeah. I snuck out.”
Starr raises her hand in a high five. “Wow, girl. You rock.” We slap hands. “But really,” she says in a more serious tone. “You shouldn’t have risked getting in trouble. Not to come see me.” She nods her head toward Sean. “Though I guess you got a two-for-one deal by coming here.”
My face grows hot at her teasing remark. I forgot she has no idea that Sean and I broke up. I glance over at the skater in question and he’s as red-faced as I probably am.
“Actually, Sean and I aren’t together anymore,” I say, using my bravest voice. “So I just came here to see you.”
“You broke up?” Starr stares at the two of us. “But then ...? What are you ... ?”
“Starr, this is not about me and Sean. This is about you. They told me you got expelled for showing up to school drunk. You don’t drink. You’re straight edge. What happened?”
Starr sighs and turns her gaze toward the ceiling. “I know. I’m a total loser, huh?”
I frown. “No. You’re not. There’s obviously got to be some reason. What’s going on with you?”
She lies down on her back, still staring skyward. I remember her in this position one other time. When she started telling me about her mother.
“Oh,” I say, suddenly realizing. That’s got to be it.
“One year ago yesterday was the day my mother died,” Starr confirms, her voice kind of choking out her words. “I woke up and I ...I just couldn’t deal with it. I missed her so badly.” The tears start flowing from her eyes, smearing her mascara so she looks like a miserable, rabid raccoon. “I loved her so much, Dawn. She was like my best friend as well as my mom. We used to do everything together before she got sick.”
My heart breaks for Starr. I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose a parent. It’d turn anyone’s world upside down. And here I am complaining about how much my life sucks and really all my parents do is set boundaries they feel will keep me safe. I mean, yeah, they are completely overprotective, but they’re doing it because they love me.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” I say, reaching over to stroke her hand. She squeezes her fingers around mine.
“Anyway, I asked my dad if I had to go to school and he said yes. He never talks about her. Or her death. It’s like he wishes she never existed,” Starr says. She wipes at her tears with her sleeve. “So I was mad and I raided his liquor cabinet and drank half a bottle of bourbon.” She makes a face. “Nasty stuff. Really gross. I don’t recommend it.
“I felt okay when I got on the school bus. But I think our bus driver must have been a former racer in the Indy 500 or something ‘cause he drove like a bat out of hell. By the time I got to school, I was totally nauseated.” She groans. “So I’m like, desperately seeking a bathroom, when Sister Frances stops me in the hall and asks me if I’m okay. I guess I looked a little green. I tried to answer, but it all came out puke. I totally hurled all over her.”
“Ew, dude, you ralphed on a nun?” Sean exclaims, sounding grossed out and impressed all at the same time. “That’s so effed up.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” Starr says, sitting back up. “And for a nun, she’s no dummy. She figures out exactly what’s going on and hauls me into my dad’s office. At first I think he’s going to give me some light sentence ‘cause he knows the circumstances, but no. He says I have to set an example and I’ve embarrassed him from the moment he enrolled me in Sacred Mary’s. Et cetera, Et cetera. So he says he’s se
nding me to Woodbury. As if that’s some bad punishment. I would so much rather be here anyway than that stuck-up richie private school.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re okay,” I venture. “I was really worried about you.”
Starr smiles. “You’re sweet, Barbie,” she says.
I make a face. “You’re not going to start calling me that again, are you?”
“Sorry.” Starr laughs. “You’re right. Your Barbie days are over.” She scrambles to her feet. “But anyway, no need to worry about me. I’m fine. I’m digging the openmindedness Woodbury has to offer. There are way more cool people and more interesting classes to take. I fit in so much better than at Sacred Mary’s. So tell the gang I said hi, and if I ever get off my groundation life sentence, I’ll see you around.” She starts to leave, then turns back to me. “And thank you, Dawn,” she says in a more serious tone. “It really means a lot that you cared enough to come find me.”
And with that, she saunters out of the auditorium, leaving Sean and me alone.
“Well, that solves that mystery, I guess,” I say. “I’m glad she’s okay.”
“I still can’t believe you snuck out of school to come check on her,” Sean says. “That was so cool of you.”
I shrug. “I guess,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant. But inside I’m doing the Snoopy dance. Sean’s paying me compliments. He’s seeing me as something besides poor little rich girl. That can’t be a bad thing.
“Listen, I’ve got to get back to class,” he says, his voice actually sounding reluctant. As if he’d prefer to stay here with me. “And you should definitely get back to Sacred Mary’s so you don’t get into worse trouble.”
“Yeah,” I say. I know he’s right. If I get back now, there’s still a chance I can fake that I was in the nurse’s office or something and not get in trouble for missing my make-up test. But still ...I steal a glance at Sean. I don’t want to leave him. Chances are after this I’ll never see him again and—
“Can you meet me after school?” he asks quietly. “Down by the parking deck? I want to talk to you.”
Hope surges through me at his words. He wants to talk. That’s got to be a good thing, right? If he didn’t want to get back together, why would he ask to see me?
“Sure, I guess,” I say in my utmost casual voice. “See you after school.”
We jump up from the auditorium floor and part company. Me through the doors out of the school and him through the hallways to class.
I am so glad this good-bye is the “see you later” type.
Chapter Fifteen
You know, I should skip school more often. I don’t think anyone even realized I was gone. And anyway, even if they did, it was so worth it.
I head to my last period Honors History class with a big smile on my face. I can’t wait to meet with Sean after school. I wonder what he’s going to say to me. I just know he’s going to ask me back out. I mean, there’s no other possible explanation for why he’d want to see me.
I daydream through the rest of my day and when the bell rings, I skip out of school and catch the bus downtown. I’m so good at this public transportation thing now. And the downtown neighborhood doesn’t even freak me out anymore. In fact, it seems almost comforting. Like no matter what’s going on in my crazy life, this weird world’s always there to greet me.
I’m still a little worried about Starr. I mean, she seemed okay and I’m glad she likes her new school, but … well, she’s definitely got some issues she needs to work out in the home-life department. Issues she seems to have swept under the rug. I hope I can be there for her, to help her through it all. But in the end, she’s got to deal with her own demons, I guess.
I arrive at the parking deck and listen for the banging of skateboards. But there’s nothing. Just silence. I must have beat them all here.
I head down to my normal spot and see Sean sitting on the curb. I wave. He doesn’t have his skateboard with him. I wonder why.
“Hi,” he says, smiling at my approach.
“Hi.”
He pats the curb, inviting me to sit down. I squat down beside him, trying to resist the chill that trips up my backbone as we bump knees. Why does he have to be so delicious?
“Sorry to make you come down here,” he says. “But I wanted to talk to you. And school didn’t seem the right place. Not when some teacher could walk in at any moment and bust us.”
“Totally,” I agree, bobbing my head. “Especially since I don’t even go there. They’d probably arrest me for trespassing or something.”
“I know you have things you have to do after school, so I’ll be quick,” he adds.
“Oh, no, actually I’m free this afternoon,” I lie breezily. Truthfully, I’m skipping ballet and the teacher is bound to inform The Evil Ones. But I don’t care anymore. I really don’t. Sean is way more important to me than some stupid dance class. Way more important to me than my stupid parents’ rules. In fact, if he were to ask me to drop out of school and run away to join the circus, I’d run home and pack.
“Oh. Okay, cool.” Sean grabs a stone off the ground and tosses it from one hand to another. Fidgeting. He looks nervous. Whatever he has to tell me must be big.
“It was really nice of you, coming to find Starr today,” he begins, tossing the rock at the curb opposite us. It bounces off the cement and lands a foot away.
I shrug, trying to remain casual. “Yeah, again, no biggie. Just wanted to make sure she was okay. I mean, anyone would have done the same thing in my place.”
“Not really,” Sean insists. “Most people, I’ve found, wouldn’t give a crap.” He pauses, staring at the ground. “You’re, like, a really good person,” he says, mumbling his compliment a little. “Nothing like …” He trails off, getting up to grab the rock he’d thrown and then sitting back down.
I look over at him, studying his hesitant face. I have no idea who he’s talking about, but I can tell the Big Admission Into the Past section of the evening is coming right up.
“Nothing like who?” I ask.
He sighs and throws the rock again. “You know how I freaked about you living in East Oaks?”
You mean when you broke my heart by basically calling me a spoiled little rich girl who was using you as a white-trash novelty to rebel against my parents’ totalitarian rule?
Um, not like I’d forget that one.
I nod in response.
“Well, two years ago, I met this girl. She was really pretty, like you. Very sweet. Or so I thought. She was from East Oaks, too, and I was madly in love with her.”
Okay then. A little TMI on the “madly in love” part, but I’ll let it slide this once. After all, he did, however indirectly, just tell me he thinks I’m pretty.
“We knew each other from school—she went to Woodbury, too—so we sort of dated a while before I thought to ask her to come home and meet my mom,” Sean says. “And when I did, well, this girl took one look at my house and my family and totally freaked. She was out the door and into the arms of some rich dude from her neighborhood before you could say ‘bling bling.’“
I nod, afraid to speak. Now this is all making perfect sense. No wonder he’d acted as he had.
“My mom kept asking where she was,” Sean goes on. “Why she didn’t come around after the first time.” He smiles a little. “Well, you’ve met my mom, you know what she’s like. She loves people and loves to be around them. And so of course the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her by telling her what the girl had said.” He pauses, and when he speaks again his voice is laced with hurt and regret. “The girl I trusted. The girl I was in love with and brought over to my house. She called my mom a fat, white-trash cow.”
I grimace. “Ouch.”
“Yeah.” Sean exhales. “I mean, we’re poor, sure. But we’re actually doing okay, you know? My mother always figures out a way to make sure we’re all fed, even though my deadbeat of a dad hasn’t contributed two cents in the last ten years. At times this means working thr
ee jobs. But she does it—she sacrifices everything for us. And she never complains.”
My heart literally aches for Sean and his family and how they’ve worked so hard to have so little. I’m so selfish and spoiled—always whining about my life when I’ve never even had to lift a finger.
“So for this girl to waltz into our lives and judge us … well, it hurt … you know?” He shakes his head. “So anyhow I didn’t want anyone coming in and hurting my mother’s feelings again. Making her feel like she’s a bad mother. ‘Cause she’s the best,” he adds, his voice shaking in his fierce pride. He turns back to face me, his blue eyes wide and sad. “When I found out you were from East Oaks, I completely freaked. I was so afraid you were going to react the way my ex did. And even when you didn’t, I kept wondering if you were thinking it all and were just too polite to come right out and say it. So I flipped out on you. And you didn’t deserve it.”
He reaches over and takes my hand in his. I can’t even breathe at this point.
“I’m sorry, Dawn,” he says, his eyes searching my face for acceptance. “I judged you the same way I didn’t want you to judge me. For how much money you had, not what kind of person you are.”
“It’s okay,” I squeak, my voice not working as well as I’d like it to at the moment. “I understand.”
He squeezes my hand so tightly, it practically hurts. “Thank you,” he says. “You’re a good person.”
He leans in closer and I suck in a breath, knowing what’s coming. I close my eyes and find his mouth by touch. His kiss is soft at first, his lips feather-light as they explore mine. Then the kiss deepens in intensity, evoking a strange fluttery feeling down to my toes.
He’s back. The Sean I love is back. And he’s accepted me for who I am, just as I accept him for who he is.
I’m so happy I want to cry. Or laugh. Or just kiss him a lot. A real lot.
Suddenly a car’s screeching brakes interrupt this moment of tenderness and passion between us. We break the kiss and look up, only to see a BMW squeal out of the parking lot. My heart stops beating for a split second as I catch the license.