[Translation of the above back from the French:]
THE FROG JUMPING OF THE COUNTY OF CALAVERAS
It there was one time here an individual known under the name of JimSmiley; it was in the winter of '89, possibly well at the spring of '50,I no me recollect not exactly. This which me makes to believe that itwas the one or the other, it is that I shall remember that the grandflume is not achieved when he arrives at the camp for the first time, butof all sides he was the man the most fond of to bet which one have seen,betting upon all that which is presented, when he could find anadversary; and when he not of it could not, he passed to the sideopposed. All that which convenienced to the other to him conveniencedalso; seeing that he had a bet Smiley was satisfied. And he had achance! a chance even worthless; nearly always he gained. It must to saythat he was always near to himself expose, but one no could mention theleast thing without that this gaillard offered to bet the bottom, nomatter what, and to take the side that one him would, as I you it saidall at the hour (tout a l'heure). If it there was of races, you him findrich or ruined at the end; if it, here is a combat of dogs, he bring hisbet; he himself laid always for a combat of cats, for a combat of cocks--by-blue! If you have see two birds upon a fence, he you should haveoffered of to bet which of those birds shall fly the first; and if thereis meeting at the camp (meeting au camp) he comes to bet regularly forthe cure Walker, which he judged to be the best predicator of theneighborhood (predicateur des environs) and which he was in effect, and abrave man. He would encounter a bug of wood in the road, whom he willbet upon the time which he shall take to go where she would go--and ifyou him have take at the word, he will follow the bug as far as Mexique,without himself caring to go so far; neither of the time which he therelost. One time the woman of the cure Walker is very sick during longtime, it seemed that one not her saved not; but one morning the curearrives, and Smiley him demanded how she goes, and he said that she iswell better, grace to the infinite misery (lui demande comment elle va,et il dit qu'elle est bien mieux, grace a l'infinie misericorde) so muchbetter that with the benediction of the Providence she herself of itwould pull out (elle s'en tirerait); and behold that without therethinking Smiley responds: "Well, I gage two-and-half that she will dieall of same."
This Smiley had an animal which the boys called the nag of the quarter ofhour, but solely for pleasantry, you comprehend, because, wellunderstand, she was more fast as that! [Now why that exclamation?--M. T.]And it was custom of to gain of the silver with this beast,notwithstanding she was poussive, cornarde, always taken of asthma, ofcolics or of consumption, or something of approaching. One him wouldgive two or three hundred yards at the departure, then one him passedwithout pain; but never at the last she not fail of herself echauffer,of herself exasperate, and she arrives herself ecartant, se defendant,her legs greles in the air before the obstacles, sometimes them elevatingand making with this more of dust than any horse, more of noise abovewith his eternumens and reniflemens--crac! she arrives then always firstby one head, as just as one can it measure. And he had a small bulldog(bouledogue!) who, to him see, no value, not a cent; one would believethat to bet against him it was to steal, so much he was ordinary; but assoon as the game made, she becomes another dog. Her jaw inferiorcommence to project like a deck of before, his teeth themselves discoverbrilliant like some furnaces, and a dog could him tackle (le taquiner),him excite, him murder (le mordre), him throw two or three times over hisshoulder, Andre Jackson--this was the name of the dog--Andre Jacksontakes that tranquilly, as if he not himself was never expecting otherthing, and when the bets were doubled and redoubled against him, he youseize the other dog just at the articulation of the leg of behind, and henot it leave more, not that he it masticate, you conceive, but he himselfthere shall be holding during until that one throws the sponge in theair, must he wait a year. Smiley gained always with this beast-la;unhappily they have finished by elevating a dog who no had not of feet ofbehind, because one them had sawed; and when things were at the pointthat he would, and that he came to himself throw upon his morselfavorite, the poor dog comprehended in an instant that he himself wasdeceived in him, and that the other dog him had. You no have never seenperson having the air more penaud and more discouraged; he not made noeffort to gain the combat, and was rudely shucked.
Eh bien! this Smiley nourished some terriers a rats, and some cocks ofcombat, and some pats, and all sorts of things; and with his rage ofbetting one no had more of repose. He trapped one day a frog and himimported with him (et l'emporta chez lui) saying that he pretended tomake his education. You me believe if you will, but during three monthshe not has nothing done but to him apprehend to jump (apprendre a sauter)in a court retired of her mansion (de sa maison). And I you respond thathe have succeeded. He him gives a small blow by behind, and the instantafter you shall see the frog turn in the air like a grease-biscuit, makeone summersault, sometimes two, when she was well started, and refallupon his feet like a cat. He him had accomplished in the art of togobble the flies (gober des mouches), and him there exercised continually--so well that a fly at the most far that she appeared was a fly lost.Smiley had custom to say that all which lacked to a frog it was theeducation, but with the education she could do nearly all--and I himbelieve. Tenez, I him have seen pose Daniel Webster there upon thisplank--Daniel Webster was the name of the frog--and to him sing, "Someflies, Daniel, some fifes!"--in a flash of the eye Daniel 30had bounded and seized a fly here upon the counter, then jumped anew atthe earth, where he rested truly to himself scratch the head with hisbehind foot, as if he no had not the least idea of his superiority.Never you not have seen frog as modest, as natural, sweet as she was.And when he himself agitated to jump purely and simply upon plain earth,she does more ground in one jump than any beast of his species than youcan know. To jump plain-this was his strong. When he himself agitatedfor that, Smiley multiplied the bets upon her as long as there to himremained a red. It must to know, Smiley was monstrously proud of hisfrog, and he of it was right, for some men who were traveled, who had allseen, said that they to him would be injurious to him compare, to anotherfrog. Smiley guarded Daniel in a little box latticed which he carriedbytimes to the village for some bet.
One day an individual stranger at the camp him arrested with his box andhim said:
"What is this that you have them shut up there within?"
Smiley said, with an air indifferent:
"That could be a paroquet, or a syringe (ou un serin), but this no isnothing of such, it not is but a frog."
The individual it took, it regarded with care, it turned from one sideand from the other, then he said:
"Tiens! in effect!--At what is she good?"
"My God!" respond Smiley, always with an air disengaged, "she is good forone thing, to my notice (A mon avis), she can better in jumping (elle pentbattre en sautant) all frogs of the county of Calaveras."
The individual retook the box, it examined of new longly, and it renderedto Smiley in saying with an air deliberate:
"Eh bien! I no saw not that that frog had nothing of better than eachfrog." (Je ne vois pas que cette grenouille ait rien de mieux qu'aucunegrenouille.) [If that isn't grammar gone to seed, then I count myself nojudge.--M. T.]
"Possible that you not it saw not," said Smiley, "possible that you--youcomprehend frogs; possible that you not you there comprehend nothing;possible that you had of the experience, and possible that you not be butan amateur. Of all manner (De toute maniere) I bet forty dollars thatshe better in jumping no matter which frog of the county of Calaveras."
The individual reflected a second, and said like sad:
"I not am but a stranger here, I no have not a frog; but if I of it hadone, I would embrace the bet."
"Strong well!" respond Smiley; "nothing of more facility. If you willhold my box a minute, I go you to search a frog (j'irai vous chercher)."
Behold, then, the individual, who guards the box, who puts his fortydollars upon those of Smiley, and who atte
nds (et qui attend). Heattended enough long times, reflecting all solely. And figure you thathe takes Daniel, him opens the mouth by force and with a teaspoon himfills with shot of the hunt, even him fills just to the chin, then he himputs by the earth. Smiley during these times was at slopping in a swamp.Finally he trapped (attrape) a frog, him carried to that individual, andsaid:
"Now if you be ready, put him all against Daniel with their before feetupon the same line, and I give the signal"--then he added: "One, two,three--advance!"
Him and the individual touched their frogs by behind, and the frog newput to jump smartly, but Daniel himself lifted ponderously, exalted theshoulders thus, like a Frenchman--to what good? he not could budge, heis planted solid like a church he not advance no more than if one him hadput at the anchor.
Smiley was surprised and disgusted, but he no himself doubted not of theturn being intended (mais il ne se doutait pas du tour, bien entendu).The individual empocketed the silver, himself with it went, and of ithimself in going is it that he no gives not a jerk of thumb over theshoulder--like that--at the poor Daniel, in saying with his airdeliberate--(L'individu empoche l'argent, s'en va et en s'en allantest-ce qu'il ne donne pas un coup d pouce par-dessus l'epaule, comme ga,au pauvre Daniel, en disant de son air delibere):
"Eh bien! I no see not that that frog has nothin of better than another."
Smiley himself scratched longtimes the head, the eyes fixed upon Daniel,until that which at last he said:
"I me demand how the devil it makes itself that this beast has refused.Is it that she had something? One would believe that she is stuffed."
He grasped Daniel by the skin of the neck, him lifted and said:
"The wolf me bite if he no weigh not five pounds:"
He him reversed and the unhappy belched two handfuls of shot (et lemalheureux, etc.). When Smiley recognized how it was, he was like mad.He deposited his frog by the earth and ran after that individual, but henot him caught never.
Such is the jumping Frog, to the distorted French eye. I claim that Inever put together such an odious mixture of bad grammar and deliriumtremens in my life. And what has a poor foreigner like me done, to beabused and misrepresented like this? When I say, "Well, I don't see nopints about that frog that's any better'n any other frog," is it kind,is it just, for this Frenchman to try to make it appear that I said, "Ehbien! I no saw not that that frog had nothing of better than each frog"?I have no heart to write more. I never felt so about anything before.
HARTFORD, March, 1875.