Breakfast conversation dwindles after twenty minutes and Darryl is called home to his family. The only person still eating is Jackson. He’s always had the appetite of a grizzly bear, even more so than Seth, who was done with his plate before I was this morning. I look around the table and can’t help the smile that kicks at the corners of my lips. I missed hanging out with everyone like this. There’s no hostility in the air, no suffocating sexual tension or unspoken rage. It’s nice, for a change, and Chloe’s smiling baby face is the cherry on top.
I jump as Jackson’s heavy hand falls to mine and he threads our fingers. Shocked, I stare at my hand as he holds it firmly in his grasp. Hand holding? I glance at Olivia and, and they’re staring at it, too. We’re all shocked and for good reason. Jackson doesn’t do sweet, public displays of affection, especially not hand holding. I peer sideways at him, but he seems unfazed and continues to eat his breakfast like nothing is different, like he’s not caressing the top of my hand with his thumb.
Olivia clears her throat. “Seth, help me clean the kitchen.”
With a swift nod, he grabs baby Chloe and they leave Jackson and I alone. Eventually, Jackson’s green irises, much brighter today, flick to mine. His lips curl and his eyes flare, totally amused with my face. “It’s called hand holding, Selena.”
I flush and scowl at him. “I know what it’s called.”
“Then why do you look so confused?”
“Because you—I—we don’t—” I sigh. I’m making a mess of this whole situation.
“Last night didn’t make you feel like a different person?” he asks, angling his head.
I nod. “It did, but it must’ve been something super special to make you want to hold my hand while people are watching.”
Usually, whenever conversation gets too heavy, Jackson can’t maintain eye contact, but this morning, he’s all for staring me down as he speaks. “Maybe it was super special. Maybe I want people to know we are, finally, a functional couple.”
My lips twitch. “A couple? Is that what we are?”
I never thought I’d hear him say it, not in a million years, and the smile that cracks my features is proof of it.
“You think now you have me completely, I’m going to let you go?” He picks up a napkin with his free hand and wipes his mouth before screwing it up and dumping it on his plate. “You’re mine now and you’re all I need. Nothing else.”
I watch him, frozen in awe. I never thought I’d hear such words fall from his sweet mouth.
“You’re sure?” I ask him. “You truly want what we have to be something more?”
My muscles cramp painfully as he purposely ponders his answer. I can see the amusement in his eyes as he flicks his tongue around his mouth. “Do you want that?”
I nod. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for us.”
“Then it’s what I want, too.”
He leans in and I match his distance until there’s barely an inch between our faces. My lungs squeeze air out faster than I inhale as my gaze drops to his lips. I want him to swallow that last little inch with passion and vigor, but he doesn’t. He lingers on the borderline, toying with my hormones. I’m about to surge forward and claim the kiss mine, until his phone rings, clearing my mind of such thoughts. With a sigh, he sits back in his chair and fishes his phone from the front pocket of his jeans. Bored, I eye the discarded contents on his plate while he studies the screen. Eventually, he answers.
“Hello? This is he.” A long pause follows and out of curiosity, I look at him. A frown lines its way over my forehead as his jaw works and eases, clenches and relaxes. “Okay. Thank you. I don’t know…I’ll see what I can do. Bye.”
One hand lowers the phone while the other rakes through his light, golden hair. “Is everything okay?” I ask when he doesn’t offer any words.
“It’s Amelia,” he replies, avoiding my eyes.
Distaste, anger and horror washes over me like a sickness, sticking to my organs and threatening to leak from my pores.
“She’s in the hospital…”
I roll my eyes. “Whose baby did she abort this time?”
Jackson subtly flinches and I purse my lips. I really have to work on my filter.
“She tried to kill herself last night.”
My heart stops, but it doesn’t register with the rest of my body. A cold sweat slides from the nape of my neck right down my back. “What should you do?”
His green eyes, now vacant, stare back at me. I can almost feel his guilt swirling inside of him and it radiates onto me. It enters me. It sends a lick of jealousy and anger over my body.
“I…I guess I should go.”
“It has nothing to do with you,” I tell him. If Amelia is anything like he says she is, then this is all some sick game. That’s all it is.
He shakes his head in disbelief and the movement causes my chest to ache. “Last night, when I was leaving her room, she told me she’d kill herself if I left.”
I take a second to clench my teeth and ball my fists. It takes all of my strength to relax my jaw and hands when all I want to do is drive to the hospital and kill the bitch myself. How dare she do that to him! How dare anyone do that to anybody! To be so selfish…to put your death on someone else’s head. That’s the lowest of fucking low. “And?”
Exhaling heavily, he runs his palms over his face. “I told her not to do me any favors.”
Oh. I sink into my chair a little. There’s no talking him out of going to her. He feels responsible and I suppose I would too if I was in his position. He can go to her, if he feels he should, but he’s not doing it alone. Now that he has me, he never has to face her alone.
Ever.
Jackson
I asked Selena to wait outside. I don’t want her to see me when I’m around Amelia. I don’t want her to see me so weak and affected and I definitely don’t want her to hear just how much hate I have for this woman deep down inside.
I walk slowly through the halls of the hospital, still in shock. Over and over Amelia has threatened me with her life, but she’s never gone through with it. I didn’t think she had the guts. I was wrong…and she could’ve died. I hate Amelia with a passion, and if I went the rest of my life without seeing her again, I’d be happy—over the fucking moon—but I’d never wish her ill. I’d never wish her dead…because, in a way, death would be too easy. I’d much rather her live out her natural life, alone and depressed with no one by her side.
A doctor sprints past me, his arm grazing mine. I move closer to the wall and shudder. I fucking hate hospitals. Some of the worst times of my life have happened in hospitals. How many people die here per minute? How many dead bodies are stacked in a freezer somewhere? I feel nauseous at the thought, but it quickly passes as I come to a pause outside room 289. Amelia’s room.
On the drive here, I planned a massive speech in my head, but when I arrived, everything I came up with she doesn’t deserve to hear. No, I’m not sorry. Her attempting to kill herself to prove to me that she could isn’t my fault, despite how heavy my heart believes it. I can’t let her back into my life—not like this. Our relationship isn’t healthy and I won’t let her try and manipulate me with stories of our one sided happiness. With a deep breath, I calm my nerves and enter the room. Immediately, my stare falls to the bed where she lies. Her skin, a usual cream, is now a ghostly white. I scan the length of her body, tucked feebly under the hospital blanket and, wrapped around her wrists, are two thick bandages. She fucking cut herself? Overdosing on pills, drugs, or alcohol poisoning is the kind of death I’d expect from Amelia, not slitting her wrists.
“Jackie?” she whispers, relief curling her lips. “You came.”
I stare at her, unable to express my anger, hate, and disappointment all at once. “I’m the only person on your emergency contact list.”
She nods, slowly. Her eyes glistening. “You’re all I have.”
I stuff my hands into the pockets of my jeans. How can she lay this on me? “You need to fi
nd someone else to torment, Amelia, because I won’t do this again. Next time, they’re going to call, and I’m not going to show up.”
Hurt, for the first time ever, actually seeps across her features. It’s slow to appear at first, but then I see her heart shatter into a million pieces. “I don’t want anyone else. Only you. I love you.”
My heart stutters and I swallow her bitter words. For years I’ve waited for her to say it and mean it. For years I looked into empty eyes as she pretended to love me and truly wished she did. Now she says it, her eyes glistening with real emotions, and I wish the words never left her lips. I glance around the room, wondering what kind of medication they have her on. When I spot the morphine button in her hand, it all makes sense. Amelia would never show her emotions like this, not unless something else was messing with her brain. Maybe even now, she doesn’t truly love.
“It’s too late for that,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m not in that place with you anymore…I don’t feel anything but bitterness towards you.”
Amelia sniffles, her face confused. “You really don’t love me anymore?”
I can’t believe the words coming from her mouth.
“Time and time again you’ve tore my heart from my fucking chest and now you’re shocked to hear such words fall from my lips?”
“I’m always the aggressor,” she snaps, swiping at angry tears. “Always, day after day, you claim to be such a victim in this relationship, but what about what you’ve put me through? Doesn’t that matter?”
Oh the fucking nerve of her. To even claim that I did half of the shit to her that she did to me would be a blatant lie. “Whatever I did was in reaction to your bullshit. I never provoked you, never hurt you, never disrespected you on a whim like you did to me. All I ever wanted was your genuine love and appreciation. That’s all that mattered to me and you took advantage of it.”
She doesn’t understand the sacrifices that I made. If she had treated me better, she’d have me for life, but I’ve already wasted so many good years of my life and I won’t waste another second with someone who doesn’t appreciate me when I know I deserve it. No more pain. No more tears. No more anger. I’m done.
Her expression turns sour and she seethes. When the weight of my words hit her, her face crumples and her lips tremble. “Is there nothing left between us?”
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
“We have history,” she claims through tears, gritting her teeth as she speaks, like a stubborn child.
“We will always have history, but even memories fade. The second I leave this room, that is all you’ll become to me. A fading memory.”
I turn around and it’s like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. The control she’s had over me these past few years is gone, just like that, and it’s fucking freeing.
“Jackson!” she shouts after me. “You can’t just leave!”
I tune her out, like you would an annoying child begging for sweets. I have my own life to live and I refuse to be pulled down into hers. I gave up my life for her and how’d she repay me? With absolutely nothing. This is my life, my time, and I’m going to reclaim every second she stole from me. I’m going to fight, professionally. I’m going to put in the time, dedication, and passion, just like I wanted to all those years ago. In the distance, I see the exit and I give myself thirty yards to reflect and mourn my old life because the second I pass that threshold, I’m a new person with new goals and new priorities.
…and I dare Amelia to try and fucking stop me.
Chapter Fourteen
Selena
(Days later)
We pull up outside Seth’s gym and my nerves grow. It’s irrational to feel so nervous, but this is our first outing since the hospital. Most of the time, we’ve stayed at home, enjoying each other’s company. Jackson says it’s because he’s tired and he wants to relax, but what we do when we’re alone is far more tiring than any date night would be.
I’m still amazed by his behavior. Whatever happened in the hospital changed Jackson for the better. He refuses to talk about it, but I trust him. Besides, I can’t really argue when he’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him. He’s lighter, too. He practically bounces on his toes like a young, excited boy. It’s endearing, heart lifting, and absolutely breathtaking. The things a smile does to his features—and my body. It lights me up light a goddamn Christmas tree.
When he pulls his keys from the ignition, he reaches across and opens the glove box. Inside, he retrieves a small piece of folded paper and holds it inches from my face.
“What is it?” I ask, flicking my gaze to his.
“Our future. Open it.”
Curiously, I pluck the paper from his fingers and unfold it square by square. When it’s fully open in front of me, I don’t quite get it. Amateur. Tournament. MMAC. Contract. And, holy hell, one hundred thousand dollars.
“What is this?”
“My next move. What do you think?”
I look at him, completely shocked. “You want to get into the MMAC?”
He nods. “I want to fight. I need to at least attempt to live my dream before it’s too late.” His gaze flicks over my face. “You’re not happy?”
Oh! I touch my chest, surprised he thinks I’m not happy for him. “No, I mean, yes, yes I’m happy for you. You just took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting anything on this grand a scale so soon.”
“Go big or get the fuck out, right?”
I snort. “You mean, go hard or go home?”
He shrugs, grinning. “Same thing.”
Of course it is. I ponder the idea of following Jackson around the place as he fights. I do love to travel…and I wouldn’t mind giving Vegas another shot. Last time, we ruined our own experience.
“I’ve always wanted to be a trophy wife,” I tell him and chuckle.
He laughs and frees the paper from my hands. “Well, now’s your chance. What do you say?”
I stare into his glowing, green irises. How can I say no to him? Who in their right mind would want to say no to him? He’s asking me to be a part of his life and that’s all I’ve ever wanted—to fit in with someone, somewhere. That’s what we all need, someone who can love us at our best and tolerate us at our worst, someone who can tell us how much we piss them off and how much they love when we do all in the span of a minute. It’s not hard.
“I’m in.”
A full smile cracks over his face and he unclips his seatbelt, then mine. “It’s going to be fun. I have it all planned out.”
“You do, do you?”
He nods and opens his door. “Oh yeah.”
I wait patiently, with a stupid smile on my face, as he circles the car to open my door. I grin widely. Jackson has never opened my door before. I like this new him.
“I’m going to have Seth train me privately and Darryl escort me to all the events, seeing as though Seth’s banned for life for breaching his contracts.”
“That is quite the plan,” I tease. “What’s your ultimate goal?”
“My ultimate goal?”
“Mhm.” I slip my hand into his and we cross the parking lot to the front door. “You need an ultimate goal to strive for.”
Jackson ponders the endless possibilities before his face brightens with an idea. “Is kicking Don’s ass for Seth and claiming World Champion too much to ask?”
Nice. I like a solid plan with a little revenge. “Absolutely not.”
He tucks me under his arm and I laugh as he plants four quick kisses on the side of my head. “Then that’s my ultimate goal.”
“Hey guys!”
Jackson and I snap our heads in the direction of Olivia’s voice and freeze when we see Amelia strolling by her side. This is not fucking happening. I scan her from her black high tops and slim, three quarter leggings to her skanky, tight tank top. I take special interest in the two white Nike sweatbands covering her wrists. Attention seeking whore. Ugh. Even out of a stunning dress and cute shoes I hate her.
?
??Looking for Seth?” Olivia asks, then takes closer looks between us, confused. “Is everything all right?”
“You’re not welcome here,” I snap at her. I start forward, but Jackson’s superhuman strength crushes me to his side and no matter how hard I struggle, there’s no getting free.
“Selena?” Olivia gasps, touching Amelia’s arm. “What’s wrong with you?”
Amelia is hardly worried by me, but she should be. I’ve kicked more asses than I have fingers on my hands and I’ll gladly add her to the list.
“What are you still doing here?” Jackson asks, his voice the perfect example of calm and collected. “I thought I told you to stay out of my life, Amelia.”
“Amelia?” Olivia frowns and a second later, her brows smooth out and she looks to me, her eyes wide and apologetic. “That Amelia? Oh, shit.”
Jackson briefly glances at me impatiently. I told Olivia about Amelia even though I was under strict orders not to. For once it’s her that can’t keep her mouth shut.
“I’ve bought a house in Portland,” Amelia states, biting back a proud, red-lipped smile. “This is my gym now, so I guess I’ll be seeing you guys around.”
She gives Jackson an overt once over before brushing past him and out the door. When she’s gone from sight, Jackson releases me and I shrug him off. “Ugh, that woman is a fucking cockroach, I swear.”
“I’m so sorry,” Olivia apologizes, stroking my arm. “I didn’t know she was her.”
I shrug her off. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
How could she know? It’s not like I showed her a photo. The weirdo doesn’t even have Facebook.
I look at Jackson, whose once happy, new face is now clouded with stress and ‘history.’ If Amelia wants a war, a war is what she’ll get. She’s out of her mind if she thinks I’m going to sit back and let her manipulate her way back into Jackson’s life. Mark my words and hold my heels, I do not play nice when other women touch my things.