"Can we at least change out of these gross clothes?" Ashley complained.
Meg, Morgan, and Alexis looked at each other. "Okay," Meg said. "Alexis will take Ashley back first, and I'll head down with Sam in a few minutes. That way you both have some alone time before your confinement."
I smiled gratefully at Meg. When it was my turn to go, I quickly washed up, grabbed my things, and stuffed them in my duffel bag. Meg escorted me back to the mess hall. Ashley wasn't there yet, but I was so keyed up, I wanted to start cleaning anyway, just to blow off some steam. But I stopped short when I walked into the mess hall and saw the aftermath.
The floor was littered with syrup, assorted jellies and cream cheese. Orange juice was still oozing off the tables, and pancakes hung to the walls like plaques. The floor was so filthy with food and broken dishes that you couldn't even see it. The whole place smelled awful too. The combination of all that food, sitting in a hot room for two hours, made an unbearable stench. I quickly ran to the windows to open them higher.
"I guess you should start cleaning," said Meg, looking around in horror. "I'll leave you to it."
Ashley still wasn't here yet -- of course, she was probably delaying her arrival as long as she could -- but I knew this job was huge and I should probably dig in. I grabbed a mop and bucket, filled it with soap and water and began scrubbing, but there was so much food in the way that I had to get down on my hands and knees and start throwing stuff away before I could even begin to clean the floors. Thankfully I had gloves. I wanted to throw up several times as I grabbed squashed pancakes, toast and jelly from the floor. When I had finally cleared the area around two tables, I started to mop and the stains came right up. That was the nice thing about housework. No matter how dirty something got, you could fix it. I wished the same could be said for what had happened between me and Cole.
When the mess hall door finally opened, Ashley strode inside looking like she was ready for a date. Her hair was pulled softly into a low bun. Her foundation was flawless, her eyes had been freshly painted, and she was wearing lip gloss. I, on the other hand, had scrubbed my face and walked back out the cabin door. No one would be seeing me for three days, so eyeliner wasn't a necessity. I felt like the two of us were acting out a scene from Beauty and the Beast. I couldn't help but smile at the irony.
"What?" Ashley growled.
"Nothing," I said. "You just look good. As usual."
Ashley snorted. "You can drop the act. There's no one here but me to hear it."
"I'm serious," I said, exasperated. "You always look perfect, even after we've done the high-ropes course. That's why I don't get it."
"Get what?" Ashley asked, as she picked up a pair of gloves and stared at the room in disgust. Rather than sounding aggravated, for once she sounded intrigued. She slid them on and then remarkably got right to work, grabbing a black garbage bag and depositing food from the tables into it.
Maybe I'd said too much already, but it was too late to stop now. I wanted to ask a question that had been on my mind since the beginning of the summer. "I'm not a supermodel," I pointed out. "I'm not an actress. My commercial was a one-time-only thing. I haven't stolen any of your friends. Yet you go out of your way to make my life miserable. I don't see how hating me is even worth your time."
Ashley didn't say anything at first. I figured she was going to give me the silent treatment. Either that or she was going to direct her answer to the antler chandelier hanging above her head. Then she said three words I never expected to hear: "I was jealous."
"What?" I wiggled my ear, wondering if it was clogged with orange juice. "I don't think I heard you right."
Ashley glared at me again. "You don't have to be sarcastic. I was jealous of you, okay? I saw how excited everyone was when they'd heard you'd been in the Dial and Dash Phone commercial. Everyone, including my bunkmates, was hanging on your every word! You were an instant camp star and suddenly my little camp videos looked stupid. It didn't help that my dad thought you were going to be a CIT Wonder Woman even before he met you," she added, rolling her eyes. "He kept droning on about how you were untapped, raw talent, and how he and Alexis were going to mold you to be the perfect counselor. Alexis couldn't wait to meet you. I couldn't stand hearing your name and you hadn't even arrived yet!"
All I could do was stand there, holding my mop, which was dripping water all over the floor, and listen. Ashley looked away guiltily. "I know I said at the mess hall my dad and Alexis regretted hiring you, but it's not true. Alexis is always going on and on about how great you are. My dad too. But somehow, I never do anything they find worthy."
No wonder Ashley hated me. I would have hated me too if my family talked about my arrival as if I were Super Girl.
"I knew they liked you, but I really had no idea you were going to wind up as Alexis's CIT," Ashley added. "Everyone wants Alexis and everyone thought my CIT year it would be me. We're always competing with each other, but when it came to camp stuff I thought we were on the same team. Then she goes and passes me up for you. That was my slot. It's like you set out to take everything that was mine and once again I was nothing more than Alexis's younger, less competent sister."
I was going to need cosmetic surgery for sure because my jaw must have permanently fallen off my face. I accidentally dropped my mop and I scrambled to pick it up.
"Stop looking at me like that," Ashley snapped.
I was still trying to digest what just happened. Ashley Hitchens, the most popular girl at camp, was jealous of me? That didn't make sense. "I'm just surprised," I said. "Everyone at the Pines worships you, especially the guys. I wouldn't think you'd be threatened by anyone."
"I will never be the perfect counselor Alexis is, and she's already made it clear to me that you might be," Ashley pointed out. "Being pretty doesn't make it any easier to live in your sister's shadow. I've spent my whole life trying to keep up with her. If she wanted me to do something, I did it, trying to make her happy. But when is my happiness just as important as hers?" She looked away again. "I don't expect you to understand."
Whoa. That feeling sounded sort of familiar. Wasn't that the way I sometimes felt when I was with Mal? I adored her, but sometimes I felt like her less important stepsister. I couldn't believe it was possible, but Ashley and I actually had something in common. It was time both of us broke the chain.
I looked at Ashley. Suddenly I saw how hard it probably was to be her and live in Alexis's shadow. "I understand more than you know," I said. "I have a best friend named Mal and we've always done everything together. Or should I say, I've done everything Mal wanted to do, which was pretty ridiculous. I think sometimes you love a person so much that you get lost in what they want and forget what you want."
Ashley looked at me curiously. "Yeah," she said. "That's exactly it."
Neither of us said anything else. We went back to cleaning and I was glad for the silence. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed, realizing what my relationship with Mal had always been, how similar Ashley's situation was, and just how much had changed in a matter of minutes.
Suddenly Ashley spoke up. "Just because we have the same problem doesn't mean we're friends or anything," she said. "If you tell anyone what I said about Alexis, I'll deny it."
But despite her words, I saw her smile a little, and not maliciously either. We had bonded, just slightly, and maybe that was a start.
19 Common Ground
While our first day of confinement had led to a partial breakthrough, the next two days were much less pleasant. It was as if Ashley had all but forgotten our conversation in the mess hall and had decided to go back to loathing me. So we spent our days in the isolation cabin, just glaring at each other. The bunk looked just like 8A, but it was smaller, with just two bunk beds, and it was anything but homey. The walls were bare, the sheets on our beds plain white, there were zero snacks, and the whole place was sort of depressing. The only thing we had to do to pass the time was stare at each other. If glaring were an Olympic sport, I w
as sure I could win a gold medal.
We were sitting on opposite sides of the room avoiding each other like one of us had the plague. I was sitting on the window seat and Ashley was on her bunk, flipping through a magazine. She looked up and glared back at me almost as convincingly as she used to. She could probably win the silver in this competition. Outside the cabin, you could hear two things: Horses neighing in the nearby stables, which meant their stench could waft over this way too, and campers screaming excitedly about some Color War activity going on. My hope was that everyone was so wrapped up in the game that they had forgotten all about the food fight. I already felt miserable about the fact that I would have to apologize to my peeps about my behavior. They may have been young, but even they wouldn't have thrown orange juice at someone if they were mad.
"Don't you think we should talk about the talent show?" I asked the wood-planked wall in front of me that had "I heart Nick!" carved on it. I was talking to Ashley, but Ashley and I didn't actually look at each other when we talked. "We're supposed to have our routine ready to show Hitch by the end of the day today," I reminded her. "Today is our last day in this cabin."
My question was met by silence again and I felt like I was having déjà vu. I'd been saying the same thing over and over every few hours and every time I got the same response. I was tired of the silent treatment by six o'clock yesterday. Today I was growing agitated and worried. Hitch expected a routine and if we didn't give him one, he'd probably send us both away early. Then I'd never get to patch things up with Cole. I glared at Ashley again. Every time she ignored me, my sympathy about her and her sister shrunk a little more.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Ashley told the ugly lamp next to her.
This was hopeless. We were never going to come up with a talent show routine this way. I was going to have to save myself like the time I got stuck with Bobby Dwyer for my English project partner and he was so busy reading some manga book that I had to work on our Animal Farm presentation all by myself. (I still got an A. But so did Bobby.) I'd have to do the same damage control here and come up with a solo routine.
The word solo flashed in my brain and I stopped myself. Who was I kidding? There was no way I could get up onstage all by myself. I'd rather perform with Bobby Dwyer than do that.
DINK!
The sound startled me, not because it was big, but because I hadn't heard it before in the days I'd been confined here. I knew every sound in the cabin by heart since Ashley and I were pretending to be monks sworn to a vow of silence. I'd already deciphered the leaky faucet in the bathroom, the hissing of the overhead light, and the buzzing of the fly trapped in this nightmare with us.
DINK!
There it was again. I looked around, wondering where it came from.
DINK! This time I saw a small pebble hit the window next to me. DINK! And another.
I looked for Ashley. She was still in the bathroom. I knew from her previous trips that she could be in there for an hour. I leaned over to the window and pried it open. I looked down and saw Court, Grace, and Em staring up at me. Court and Em were wearing matching purple T-shirts and Grace was all in yellow, down to her ponytail holder.
"What are you guys doing here?" I whispered, excited to see some friendly faces.
"We brought you a survival kit," Em said. She handed me up a Twix, a bag of Baked Lays, a Diet Coke, and an old US Weekly that had Mrs. Morberry's name and the camp address on the return label.
"Thanks," I said and hid my loot behind my bed pillow. "Ashley's in the bathroom doing God-knows-what, so your timing couldn't be more perfect."
"We had a quick break between events," said Grace. "Not that I can stay long, being captain and all." I tried not to smirk. "How are you holding up?" she added.
"Great! We're telling secrets and doing each other's nails." I rolled my eyes. "Another hour of silence and I think I'm going to go insane."
"Just a few more hours," Em said. "You can make it."
"I don't know about that." I frowned. "We still haven't come up with a routine and Hitch is not going to let us out of here until we do. I just don't get her. When we were cleaning the mess hall the other day, we had this major breakthrough, and since then she's said nothing." I quickly filled the girls in on Ashley's and my conversation. They listened carefully, glancing at each other every once in a while as I spoke.
"Finally!" Court said to the blue sky.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Sam, you've had a major revelation," Em said excitedly. "I finished this book last month called The New You Inside and Out -- totally not my usual reading material, I know, but it was on Oprah, and anyway, the book said that some people spend their whole lives being people pleasers. They do everything for someone else and don't worry at all about what they really want. Don't get mad at me for saying this, but you, Sam, are a people pleaser."
"Definitely," Grace agreed. "I'm just glad you finally realized that."
"It's not as bad as Ashley and her sister, right?" I asked.
Grace gave me a look. "You've spent every morning getting up early to take a camper for allergy shots when you could be sleeping in. You always let someone else have the shower first. You volunteered to help Alexis on visitors' day even though you could have the day off. You're more than willing to let Court have the last pancake at breakfast. I could go on."
"It's true," Court agreed. "I mean, I'm happy to let you be my lackey if you want the job, but you're too good for the position, Sam, and you know it."
"Okay, okay, I see your point. I am a people pleaser." I sighed. "I've always been one, especially when it came to Mal. The Pines is the first thing I've ever done without her."
"That means you're growing," said Em brightly. "And you've stopped spending your free time making videos for your friends too. I think you've made huge strides, Sam. You just have to keep making them even when you're not here."
"And you have to practice using the word no," Court pointed out. "Say it to yourself over and over until it sticks."
"I will." I smiled and glanced over my shoulder. "So quickly. Tell me what's going on in the outside world. Have people stopped talking about the food fight?"
"We had to put Gabby in her place," Court said darkly. "She was walking around telling every-body how you approached our table with a steak knife and tried to kill Ashley, but Gabby stopped you," Court said. "We have that rumor under control now."
"And most people are so into Color War they don't even remember you guys are in here," Grace added.
"And Cole?" I asked tentatively.
"I think he's avoiding us," Em said awkwardly. "I talked to Dylan about it and he said we shouldn't take it personally. Dylan said he's kind of been keeping to himself when we're not at war."
"The anger seems to have done wonders for his sportsmanship," Grace said brightly. "We're on the same Color War team and Cole is beating the hell out of everyone. Not that I should be talking about a teammate or anything when we're not playing. I don't want to give away any yellow team secrets."
"Would you give it a rest?" Court groaned. "I tell you this every year: It's only a game! You're allowed to talk to your best friends even if we're not wearing the same color pinnie."
"Color War is important to me, Court," Grace looked hurt. "Why can't you respect that?"
The two of them started to bicker and I couldn't help but laugh. I needed this. "I miss you guys," I said.
They stopped fighting and smiled. "We miss you too," the three of them said.
I heard the handle to the bathroom jiggle and I knew I had to bolt. "Ashley's coming," I whispered quickly. "You guys should go."
"We'll try to sneak by later and bring you more food," Em said before the three of them hurried away.
Ashley walked out of the bathroom and went straight back to her magazine on her bunk. She didn't even notice I'd broken confinement rules.
"Are we going to talk about the talent show or not?" I tried again.
Ashley shrugged.
"I've been thinking about it, and I think you should come up with a routine and then I'll consider doing it with you. If you want out of here so badly, that's what you'll do because I'm not about to sit here and come up with one with you."
The old me might have agreed to that arrangement. But the new me, the one that desperately needed to be broken in, knew I couldn't agree to that.
"That's not going to work for me," I said. Ashley looked startled. "If we're doing this, we're doing it together or we're not doing it at all."
Ashley sighed. "How are we supposed to do that when we can barely look at each other?"
"We did fine talking the other day, didn't we?" I reminded her. "Don't you think we could put our differences aside and try to do that again?"
Ashley shot me a disdainful look. "I told you not to bring that up again," she snapped. "And as for the talent show, you may think I'm a snob, but I'm not fake. I can't get up there and pretend I like you for a three-minute song. I just don't see how the two of us are ever going to be able to perform together."
But if we weren't going to perform together, what else was there to do? Our routine had to be about us and camp and we were supposed to close out the show so our number had to be good. How could we merge those two things without acting like we were best buds?
Suddenly I had an idea. "Maybe we don't have to actually act, sing, or dance together," I said slowly. "Maybe we can just work together."
Ashley looked at me like I was crazy. "What do you mean? All the acts are acting, singing, or dancing. What else could we do?"
"What if we did a camp newscast?" I asked her. "We'd be working together, but we don't have to act like we're best friends. We can interview campers and the staff about the summer."
"Eh," she said, sounding bored. "We already have a camp video that Daddy sends out at the end of every season."