whispered, "but if you leave now, you're going to look like you're pining over Jordan, and if I know you half as well as I think I do… you don't want that."
He was right. I couldn't run off. Everyone would attribute it to me getting dumped. I glanced at Rayla now blocking my locker.
"Right," I said, moving past her toward first hour.
"Hey, your book!" Parker called.
"I'll tell her I forgot it." Lame but I needed to get away from Rayla.
My stomach dropped as we came up on our first hour. Rayla stood in the doorway, her face tense, her arms still crossed. "Mi, we have to go."
I took a deep breath. She's not real. You're just exhausted. I walked right past her, sliding into my desk. The bell wasn't going to ring for another four minutes.
"You can still stop this Miles," Rayla said, leaning on my desk, her face just inches from mine. "If we hurry."
"Go away," I whispered, glancing around to see who was watching. Of course, everyone was watching because I was the center of attention today. I put my head down on my desk, trying to breath and convince myself that she wasn't real. I was just crazy. But that thought didn't make me feel any better.
"Dude, you still look like you're pining." Parker nudged me with his elbow.
"What are you doing tonight?" I asked, sitting up. I glanced around, Rayla was gone. I let out a big breath.
"No clue. Pizza at Donnie's?"
"Sure thing, man. What did you do yesterday?" I said, glancing around again, making sure my ghost sister hadn't reappeared.
"Shot hoops with the guys. Where were you?" Parker pulled his book and a notebook out of his bag.
"Helping out in Mr. Ronald's Garden."
Class started, and I fell asleep halfway through only to be awakened by a falling book. Mrs. Smith was good like that. As I jumped half-way out of my seat the whole class bust out in laughter. I rubbed my face as Parker smacked me on the back.
"You feel better now?" I jumped again as Rayla plopped herself down on the top of my desk. This cannot be happening. I shook my head. People randomly go crazy all of the time. Isn't it about this age that people turn schizo? Maybe that's what's happening.
"Can I have a piece of paper?" I asked Parker. He handed one over, and I pulled a pen out of my pocket.
GO AWAY! I wrote. She frowned, looking hurt. "I know you don't mean that. You love me too much to mean that."
That made my breath hitch. I had wanted her back so badly and now she was here. Maybe it was okay to be a little crazy.
No. this is wrong. Something is wrong. I got up and headed for the door, leaving everyone to stare and leaving Rayla out of my sight.
"Miles! Where are you going?" Mrs. Smith called.
"Bathroom," I said, not giving her or anyone else a second look. I ended up sitting outside the councilor's office. My leg bobbed up and down. I couldn't be going crazy. There had to be a logical explanation for what was going on. And if I was going crazy, I needed to get some help. But if I was crazy, would I be thinking logically like this? Is that what defines you as not crazy? The logical thinking?
"Whatcha doin'?" Rayla asked, dropping down beside me. I clenched my hair in my fists, glancing around.
"Trying to…" get rid of you, is what I was planning to say, but I couldn't hurt her even if she wasn't real. "I think I might be going crazy."
"You're not."
"How do you know? I mean, how should I know?"
"Miles?" Mrs. Roberts said, popping her head out of her office. "Did you want to talk with me?"
"Oh, uh, no. Really I was just resting. I'm exhausted and… honestly just wanted to get out of class." I stood, trying to give her a charming grin. The grin I had won Jordan over with.
"Well, you'll get more time out of class by actually coming in here." Great, now she thought I wanted to talk about Jordan. Everyone knew. Stupid small town.
"No really. I think I'll just go back to class." I started toward the door because did I want people to know that I was crazy? It would fly around town like fall leaves. No, it was best just to suck it up.
"Okay, Miles. Come in any time."
"Sure." I waved at her, and then hurried down the hall.
"Are we going to find Liam now?" Rayla asked, jogging to catch up with me.
"No! Rayla, I love you, but you have to go away before you get me locked up. I'm losing it here."
"Miles! You have to listen to me!" her voice was strangled as she just short of yelled it, stopping in the middle of the empty hallway.
I stopped, turning back to her. Her eyes were full of tears. "Save him, please."
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Please make her go away, I begged silently. Please. I opened my eyes, scanning the empty hallway. I let out a deep breath.
The bell rang, ending first hour. I looked up as the door to my left opened, and my eyes met the eyes of Liam Carson.
I bit my top lip before stepping into stride with him. What the hell are you doing? I clenched my eyes shut for a second before opening them. "Hey, Liam."
He glanced at me, looking a little startled. Liam didn't run in my circle. I was a jock and he was a computer nerd. He didn't really fall under the category of nerd I guess. He seemed to be a normal enough guy except for his IQ. He didn't come off as a nerd. He was just too smart to be friends with us normal people. I'm not sure if we isolated him or if he stayed clear of us. Either way, his high school career had been traveled as a loner.
"Uh, hi," he said back.
"How's it going?"
He stared at me for a second before answering. "It's okay. How are you?"
"Tired, honestly. I didn't sleep at all last night." Not something I would tell most people, but it just slipped out. This wasn't a normal conversation though. I was talking to a guy my dead sister told me was going to be murdered. I shook my head.
"Uh, did you need something?"
He probably thought I needed a tutor. "No. I just…" Just what? Don't want you to get murdered? "Just was wondering if you wanted to go out for pizza with the guys tonight. Like Parker and those guys." Great, now he's going to think Jordan broke up with you because you're gay. This was going all wrong.
Liam was quiet for a minute, looking at his watch. "Uh, well, I guess I could."
"Cool. We're going to Donnie's around five thirty."
"Sure," Liam said, shouldering his backpack.
"See you then." I hurried down the hall, wondering if I could have made that any more awkward.
The next two hours Rayla was nowhere to be seen. Talking to Liam must have gotten her off my back. Or, maybe I wasn't going crazy after all.
"The game on Friday is going to be ridiculous!" Parker said, slamming his fist into his palm.
"McDaniels is back." Their leading point guard.
"Even better." Such an optimist, but it did make me smile. His mood was rubbing off. The game was against our top rivals, the Tigers. It was a tough match-up, and I was going to need some sleep if I was going to be worth a damn.
I scanned the lunch room trying to decide where I was going to sit. Jordan and I shared friends so this was going to be the trickiest part of the day.
"Damnit!" I cursed before I could stop myself.
"What?" Parker asked, looking where I was looking. There Rayla was, sitting next to none other than Liam Carson.
"Nothing." I shook my head wondering if I was even going to be able to choke down lunch.
"You're losing it man," Parker said, slapping me on the back.
"You're telling me," I said quietly. I filled my tray with spaghetti and walked toward Liam.
"Uhh, where you going?" Parker asked, following me.
"I thought I would sit with Liam today."
"Who?"
"Liam Carson."
"Have you lost your mind?" Parker asked, grabbing my arm and jerking me to a stop.
"The guy always sits by himself. Don't you find that shitty?" I said pulling out of his grip.
"Uh, I guess but… it'
s weird to just go sit with a guy you're not even friends with."
I glanced at Liam. Parker was right, but I knew if I didn't do what Rayla wanted she wasn't going to leave me alone. She had always been stubborn.
"It's time for a change."
"It's not good for your image bro."
"The hell with my image." I continued toward Liam.
"Hey man," I said, sitting my tray down next to him. He looked up, his forehead wrinkled.
"Hi," he managed.
I glanced at Rayla and she grinned back.
Parker dropped down next to me. Now that's loyalty. "Hey Liam," he said, his voice only half into it.
"Hi," Liam said again.
I looked at him. He looked suspicious. I wasn't a malicious guy, and I didn't have a rep as one— I didn't think— but he looked like I was about to pull a big prank on him.
"Ask him if he's worried about things at home," Rayla said.
I closed my eyes for a minute. "I'm thinking about going to the Hells Flames concert next weekend in Arkville. You guys want to go?" I asked, mainly because I didn't know what to say, and we were surrounded by awkward silence.
"Yeah man. I've gotta go. How much are tickets?" Parker asked around a mouthful of pasta.
"Thirty, I think." I had been planning to go with Jordan but that ship had sailed. "You going?" I turned to Liam.
"Hadn't planned to."
"You should come. It's at the new stadium. Supposed to be a nice place. I was gonna check it out last month, but the concert I was going to got canceled because of a storm that went through."
"Rough," he said, putting down some garlic bread.
"We better get tickets before it sells out," Parker said.
"Yeah. Can you go tomorrow?" Parker had a car and I didn't so that only made since.
"Sure."
"You in, Liam?"
He bit his top lip, looking down at his tray. "I have to ask what your sudden interest in me is," he said with a half laugh.
"Oh, I just wondered why the hell you're always sitting alone. You seem like a good guy, and I need a change of scenery so I thought why the hell not?" I smiled. Yeah, play it off like you're not out of your freaking mind. "So you coming?"
He shrugged and gave me a half smile. "I guess I'm in."
5
Rayla stayed. She watched me through basketball practice, cheering in all of the appropriate places. I liked it. It was like we use to be when she was alive. She used to love to come to all of my games, and I could always hear her over the shouts of the crowd. It made me sick that I was enjoying it though because it made me feel even crazier. She can't stay. Being crazy was not in my future plans and my plans were big and far away from here.
"Miles! Get your head in the game!" Jeremy Fuller, our point guard, yelled then shoved me hard.
"What the hell's your problem!" I growled, getting in his face. I usually had a pretty fair temper but today was not the day to push my buttons.
"Quit wallowing about your damn girlfriend and get it together! We have a big game on Friday."
I pulled my fist back and swung on him, but I only caught open air as Parker yanked me backwards.
"Chill-out!" Parker hissed, hauling me back.
"Miles, Jeremy, laps! Go!" Coach yelled, and I took off knowing it was going to kill me. I was too tired to run a couple extra miles and it gave me way too much time to think. Rayla watched on the sidelines pouting for me, her knees up to her chest with her head resting on them.
I sagged against my locker after practice, wanting to go home and go to bed. The boys around me were loud and rambunctious. I wanted them to shut up.
"Hey bro. You still going to Donnie's?" Parker asked, lightly whipping me with his towel.
"Naw."
"Come on. You need it. Come cut loose."
"Is Jeremy gonna be there? Cause I might kill him." I didn't really have a problem with Jeremy, he was just something I could hate right then, and I was pretty sure if he opened his mouth to me I was gonna lose it on him.
"Naw. I think he's going home."
I closed my eyes, wishing for my bed. This Rayla thing couldn't have come at a more difficult time. I had to keep a front up due to the whole post Jordan break-up.
"Fine."
Half the basketball team was at Donnie's and half the cheerleaders too,