“He lied. Just like you, Gabriella. He lied.”
“But you’re not going to tell me what he said, right?”
“You don’t need to know that.”
“Right, I don’t need to know that, but you should know everything I’ve been hiding,” I responded with irritation. This was so fucked up. I didn’t even know what the hell I had kept hidden from him, yet he wanted to know. He wanted answers that I didn’t have, nonetheless he wasn’t willing to share any of his. So messed up.
“Call your friend.”
“No, I’m going back to the cottage, and you can go to hell. I know what time you leave for work. I’ll make sure I’m here.”
Paxton grunted some sort of evil laugh. “You’re not going anywhere.”
I grabbed my phone from the table, and glared daggers at him. My finger swiped the phone and we stared each other down while he waited for me to call Mi. Only I didn’t call Mi. I dialed three numbers; nine-one-one, and then held my finger on the send button. “I’m not your slut, Paxton. I don’t fucking need you. I need those two little girls in there and that’s it.”
“You’re joking. You’ll never take them anywhere. Over my dead body. Give me the phone.”
“No way, and we can keep this going for as long as you want. You can’t keep them from me, and if I have to get outside help to make sure you don’t, I will,” I threatened with my phone pointed right at him, finger on the send button like a trigger, daring him to make a move.
“Oh yeah, you’re good at getting outside help, especially ones with fringe benefits. Sounds like you had more than one, you like Mi’s man, too, huh?”
Nope, wasn’t stooping to that level either. He could be the idiot, and I’d keep my punches above the belt.
“Don’t turn the electric off, I’ll be here by six in the morning.”
“Gabriella, don’t do this. We have to talk about this shit.”
“You don’t want talk about anything, Paxton. You want to call the shots, and decide what we discuss. I’m not interested in that.”
Paxton spoke to me through gritted teeth and narrowed eyes, voice changing from a soft plead, to anger in the blink of an eye. “I’m so sick of this fucking game. If you would have threatened to call the cops on me before, I would have locked you in a cage for a week. What the fuck? I don’t want to play your fucking game anymore, Gabriella.”
My cell phone dropped to my side and I quietly responded while walking to the door behind the closed curtain. “It’s not my game. I quit a long time ago. You’re the sore loser.”
“Stay here,” Paxton begged in a more civil tone when I stepped out to the damp grass.
I didn’t stay, and I didn’t turn around. I walked away, feeling like I had just completed a great accomplishment. I had. I was sure I had never walked away from him in the past, especially to another house. I walked exactly five steps before I realized I still had that tampon problem. “Shit,” I said aloud, turning back to Paxton, standing in the door, just like he had when I arrived.
“Vagina problem?”
“Please don’t make me stay here, Paxton,” I begged quietly, hoping to soften his heart a little. Not that I thought he had one or anything.
“I’ll trade you. You stay here where I know you’re inside and safe, and I’ll give you a tampon when you need it. And you’re not allowed to say ‘fuck you’,” he added with the famous Paxton smirk, knowing he upped me one. Fucker. I was so close.
“I’ll call the cops,” I threatened with a lot less conviction than before.
“Do it.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t. Goodnight, Mrs. Pierce,” he said in calm, yet arrogant voice, lips moving to mine.
I turned my head, keeping his lips from touching mine, and stomped past him to my room with the adjacent bathroom. Dangling a stupid box of tampons in front of my eyes, of all things to keep me there, tampons wasn’t one I would have expected.
Nonetheless, my bed did feel amazing. I crawled in, retrieving my tablet from the nightstand with mixed emotions. I searched through the tablet again, looking for something I might have hid in a secret folder to no avail. Nothing but my love for reading, a few recipes, and a reminder that Rowan was about to start first grade, and Phi kindergarten. The date for school shopping had come and gone two days ago. I switched off the device when the battery light blinked with two beeps.
I stared out to the moon over the ocean, seeing a beach ball floating in the pool, its silhouette mimicking the full moon. Thoughts of my existence, the lies, and all that I didn’t know yet, flooded my mind. I didn’t know where to turn, who to turn to, or what I was turning for. Part of me just wanted to forget it. Forget the past and fall back into this role that Paxton wanted me in. The part that my sister and her son were out there somewhere and needed me wouldn’t let me. And truth be told, I couldn’t move forward with Paxton until I knew our past. The real past, not this covered up pretend thing we portrayed to our friends.
I jumped for my phone when it beeped. I knew Paxton was probably watching me, and I knew it wasn’t beneath him to storm in and take it from me.
Mi—You okay?
Gabby—Yes. Fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to put you in that situation.
Mi—No worries. Can you meet me for breakfast? We need to talk.
Gabby—Yes. I will have my girls, but we can go to the park. Sutton.
Mi—The one with the red bridge?
Gabby—Yes, that one. Nine?
Mi—Perfect. See you there.
My eyes landed right on the camera over the door, staring right at me. I stared it down like it was Paxton, standing right in front of me, waiting for him to open the door. He didn’t. Paxton never came and my eyes closed. Thoughts about my mom on a Brazilian beach eased my mind from all my worries. I pretended to hear my mother’s soft words as she described the beach to Izzy and I. I dozed off into a deep sleep. A peaceful, relaxing slumber.
“Gabriella? Gabriella, wake up.”
My eyes couldn’t keep up with my mind, willing them to open. I heard Paxton calling my name, I just couldn’t respond from my comatose state.
“Gabriella,” he said again, this time shaking my shoulder.
“What?” I questioned through small slits in my eyes as the lamp turned on beside my bed. Bright light kept me from seeing him in color. All I could see was one black blob, but I knew it was him. His scent hit me as my eyes slammed shut from the unwelcoming light.
“Wake up. We have to talk.”
I looked at the neon blue numbers across the room through a small opening in one eye. “Now? It’s two o’clock in the morning.”
“I know, but I have to say something.”
“Okay, what?”
“I don’t know,” he said as he sat on my bed, forcing me to move my leg out of his way. His head went into his hands and his fingers tightened around the hair on his head.
“You woke me up at two in the morning to talk, but you don’t know what you want to say?” I asked confused, feeling the frown on my face. I turned to my side, and propped myself to on one elbow.
“I watched it.”
“You watched it?” I asked while questioning his stableness. I had no idea what the hell he watched. None.
“Yes, your friend sent you the email. Nick hypnotized you.”
“Oh, that. Yes, he did.”
“That made it real, Gabriella. You really do have a twin. She was with you. Where is she?”
A sadness instantly fell over me when I thought about watching myself tell the story, tears streaming down my face while I begged her not to die.
“She has a little boy.”
“I heard. I don’t know how to feel right now. You were in so much pain, and not from your injuries. It was for her, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. She spent hours outside, trying to knock on the door. Why didn’t she just knock on the door?” I asked the loaded question as a tear slid down my cheek.
“Where is sh
e, Gabriella?” Paxton asked again, his determination stronger than my own.
“I don’t know. According to my subconscious, the last thing I remembered was the crackling of a tree, and covering my face when I saw it. I don’t know what happened after that, I swear, I don’t, Paxton.”
“I believe you, but she was with you. Where the fuck is she?”
I shrugged one shoulder and played with the satin on the corner of the sheet. “I’ve thought of everything possible. She got washed away with the river. Alligators ate her. Someone found her and is keeping her. She floated out to the sea and the sharks fed off her flesh. I don’t know what happened to her.”
“Did you look for records? A Jane Doe around that time?”
“Mi did. She hasn’t found anything yet. A lot of injuries were reported over those couple of days from the storm.”
“It was so fucking bad, Gabriella. It hit so fast and hard. I’ve lived in Florida my entire life and I have never seen a storm like that. I knew you were out there somewhere. The girls knew it, too. They were scared to death. I was scared to death. You have no idea the anger and relief I felt when I got that call. I didn’t know what the fuck happened to you.”
“You thought I was with Lane, didn’t you?”
“You would have thought that, too.”
“I wasn’t.”
“I know. Why didn’t you tell me about her?”
“I don’t know, Paxton. I barely remember her. I don’t remember her, I just know she was a part of me, and I loved her dearly. Remember when I told you about the dream where I was taken to a studio and photographed?”
“Yeah, I hate that story.”
“Izzy was with me. We were both victims. I see things like a movie, about my mom, Izzy, and I, but I wouldn’t call it remembering. She’s real, she’s my twin, and I don’t know where she is.”
Paxton’s body fell backward, over my legs with a groan. His hands washed over his face like he could just wipe it all away, and then he turned to me, serious expression and focused eyes.
“Are we doing this? Do you want this with me, Gabriella?”
I honestly didn’t even have to think about it. I did want it. As crazy as it sounded in my head, I wanted him. I loved him. “Yes,” I admitted in a quiet tone.
“Then we have to lay it all out there. Together. I want to know where the hell you came from.”
“Yeah, I don’t think you do, but just for kicks, I’d like to know that about you, too. I know as much about you as you know about me, and we’re freaking married. How does that even happen?”
Paxton mimicked my tone, stealing my words with a twist. “Yeah, I don’t think you do, but just for kicks, let’s start with you.”
“Of course, and we’ll never get to you, right?”
“What does Mi know?”
“I don’t know. I’m going to meet her at the park for breakfast in the morning.”
“I have to be at a job site at seven. I didn’t make arrangements with Tricia.”
“I’m taking them with me, and then we’re going school shopping. We have two weeks before school starts.”
“You’re not taking them to meet your friend. I don’t want them dragged into any of this mess.”
“How about we stop calling it a mess? Nothing grows out of a mess.”
“Lotus flowers do.”
My frown was meant to be noticed. “What?”
Paxton shook his head like he couldn’t believe he said it. “Nothing, it’s something stupid I’ve heard you tell the girls.”
“From out of the muddiest waters comes a beautiful lotus, untouched from the filth it comes from.”
“Stupid, huh?” he smiled while propping himself up on one elbow over my legs.
Silence fell upon us as our eyes locked, lingering in each other’s presence, and I whispered, “Kiss me.”
Something lifted from my chest that night. I felt lighter, and for the first time since our Disney trip, I felt like we would be okay. Like we could do this as long as we did it together. Whatever the future held, whatever the past held, we could overcome it as long as we both let it. I knew we could.
Our make out session continued to warm up, and I knew it would go to the next step when I felt my tampon slide out, and Paxton slide in. I didn’t care where the wetness came from between us, I didn’t care about the sheets, and I didn’t care about it being gross. It wasn’t. Not at all. Not in the least. Paxton made love to me uncaring of anything between us. It was amazing, something beautiful I shared with a man that I shouldn’t love. With a man I’d die for. Paxton had my heart and he held my soul in the palm of his hand. Paxton invaded my space, all of me, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I was in love.
The time when I swiped my phone caused me to sit straight up. It was almost eight-thirty. Mi would be at the park in half an hour and I wasn’t even out of bed yet. I jumped up, grabbed a two-minute shower, and dressed. The thought of Tricia with my girls, in my house, went through me like a gun loaded with pissed off bullets. I knew there would be a confrontation. Paxton told her not to let me take them. I was sure of that. I was also sure he told her to let me sleep. Jerk.
Seven
An instant giddiness swept over me when I heard screaming. The kind of screaming that brought an instant smile to my face. Whatever it was, Ophelia had it first. After a quick two minute shower, I dressed in my own shorts and a loose t-shirt, applied a little makeup, and slid my feet inside leather flip-flops before rushing out to the scent of something baking and—
“Paxton?”
“Mommy!”
“Mommy!”
Both my little Clydes slid from their stools and into my arms. My eyes locked with his briefly, wearing a smile and flipping a pancake with either blueberries or chocolate chips. I shook my head in confusion and gave my undivided attention to my little girls as a fruity scent touched my nose. Blueberries.
“Hi babies,” I said, my eyes leaving his for them, both hands stroking long soft hair, one blonde, one black.
“I saw her last night and you didn’t,” Rowan chanted while trying to sneak in an unnoticeable shove with her elbow.
“I did, too.”
“Nuh-uh, because you didn’t know she was here. I did.”
“Stop that,” I interrupted. “I saw you both. Who wants to go to the park? Eat your breakfast, we’ve got to go.”
I looked up to the smirk on Paxton’s face and then a wink from is right eye. He was up to something, and he knew I knew it. My expression wanted him to know it. Not that it mattered, but still.
Rowan was the one who spilled the beans. “Well, we have to wait. Daddy said your friend is coming here first.”
I didn’t even feel surprised. Not in the least. Annoyed, but not shocked. I kissed both their heads as they slid back to their stools, back to their blueberry pancakes, content to have their mommy home. I picked up a blue crayon and a quarter from the floor while I looked at Paxton through narrowed eyes. The blue crayon rolled to the pile, joining the other colors on the island, and I dropped the quarter in his hand.
“That’s for last night. What did you do now?” I questioned while turning away from his lips.
Paxton laughed when he missed, kissing the corner of my uncooperative mouth with his sticky lips. My tongue peeked out, tasting the maple syrup as he spoke quiet words to my neck. “Jesus, what do I have to do for a dollar?”
I might have smiled a little, but I didn’t mean to, and I was serious. Trying to be, anyway. “What did you do, Paxton? I thought you were so busy with work,” I questioned while I watched him slide my pancake to the plate.
“I made you a pancake out of love. See, it’s a heart.”
My eyes shifted to the plate in my hand and I stared at it confused, head tilting and eyes squinting. “It looks like a possum.”
That definitely made me smile. The biggest smile ever. Both my little girls giggled hysterically at their daddy’s attempt to make a heart.
&nb
sp; “It does not. It’s a heart.”
“What’s this long tail-like thingy here?”
“It’s not a tail thingy. It’s an arrow. Whatever, go eat your possum.”
I watched him cautiously and slid my finger across my phone, right to the messages. My head shook as I read them all, the last one being our address.
Gabby—Hey, come to my house.
Mi—Why? What about your husband?
Gabby—He wants to talk to you, too.
Mi—This wouldn’t happen to be “him,” would it?
Gabby—Maybe, but I’m not about to let her meet you alone. We’re married.
Mi—Yeah, so I heard. Poor girl.
Gabby—I’m not a bad guy.
Mi—Well that’s coming from a guy who had his wife arrested, soooooooo.
Gabby—LOL I like you. Be here around nine.
Mi—I’m only coming for Gabby, not you.
Gabby—Okay, sooooooo I’ll see you at nine.
“I really do hate you,” I admitted while stabbing my pancake with my fork, twisting it dramatically into his possum shaped breakfast.
“That hurts a little,” he said with two fingers over his chest, two taps and that damn grin. The sexy one that I hated.
“What are you doing here? You told me you were busy.”
“I am. This is your fault. If my guys screw up this layout, I’m taking it out on your ass.”
I refrained from accepting that threat, secretly hoping that they did. “Mmmm, real blueberries. I’m impressed. Did you Google that?”
He pointed his nose toward the girls and their argument. Ophelia’s pancake was bigger, Rowan had more blueberries. “Yes, right there. They went grocery shopping with me. Both insured me that their mommy didn’t buy the frozen blueberries. Only the organic ones. You’re so weird.”
The thoughts on how to reply changed with his last comment. I almost boasted on my smart girls, and said something about him sidestepping my question about being up to something. I sputtered a short laugh instead. “Wait until you meet Mi.”