“What does that mean?”
“Come up here. Let’s watch the video. I’d rather hear it from your perspective.”
“I’m so mad at you Paxton,” I admitted as my eyes moved up and tears burned behind them.
“I’m sorry. Come here. Please.”
Just like the idiot that I’d always been around him, I bit the hook, and he reeled me in. Dumb little fish. I walked up the steps with crossed arms, and a standoffish attitude, ready to take on the world, or at least Paxton. He wasn’t waiting at the door like I had expected him to be, he was out on the balcony, seated on the love seat. I don’t know why that made me mad. I would have walked right by him anyway. That didn’t mean he couldn’t be respectful.
I sat beside him with enough distance between us to fit both girls without speaking one word. The blanket from the back of the sofa worked great as a barrier, and that’s exactly what I used it for. An obstruction to keep from being too close to him.
Paxton gave me a look and then opened the email, only there was a message from Mi first. Nick wanted us both to sign a nondisclosure, promising that neither of us would talk about the videos to anyone other than us, and that in no way possible could we hold him responsible. We both electronically signed it, and waited for the next email. A video that would cause more pain, more agony, yet had to be done. I even tried to consider myself lucky. Not all amnesia patients had a library of recorded videos. Yup, I was the lucky one. Silence occupied the space between us, almost as thick as the tension while we waited for slow poke Mi to send it over.
I smiled when I looked down to my phone and read her message.
Mi—This wasn’t my idea.
Gabby—Idea? What did you do, Mi?
Mi—It wasn’t me. You should have kept your mouth shut. You okay?
Gabby—Yes, Mi.
Mi—Want to do lunch next week? I got the girls a new stone. I want to give it to them.
Gabby—Yes, for sure. What did you do?
Paxton opened his hand for my phone and I handed it over with a ‘fuck you’ glare.
“What? Now you don’t think I should have access to your phone either?”
“I gave it to you, didn’t I? How about you give me access to yours? Show me what else you’re hiding?”
Paxton looked at me through narrowed eyes while he slid his phone from his front pocket.
I didn’t respond because I didn’t know how. I wasn’t expecting that, not even a little. I smartly swiped it from his hand and he offered the password.
I don’t know what I expected to find, but Paxton was sort of a work-a-holic, and as much as I hate to admit it, a family man. That’s what I looked at. I started with his text messages, but they were all to me, or guys he worked with. I almost smiled when I went to his photos, but kept it hidden. I didn’t want to smile. Paxton didn’t deserve that side of me, yet we did look like a happy family. Anyone looking from the outside in, would see that, and then I was gone. Rowan and Phi filled his phone and I was a ghost.
“I never told you to stay out of a photo,” Paxton defensively assured me.
“Yeah, obviously,” I nonchalantly said as my finger swiped the next one. I hated that he could read me like that. That he knew what went through my mind by the expression on my face. I did smile with the next swipe. Rowan was upside-down, stuck on the slide by the seat of her pants. Ophelia’s entire face lit up with laughter, watching her sister dangle in the air. I loved that laugh. It was something between a cackling chicken and goat. Funniest thing ever, and contagious.
Paxton took his phone and went back to the beginning, the ones where I was. “You photobombed this one,” he said with a finger pointed right to me. I was behind the girls, rabbit ears behind both their heads, “the ones from Disney, you made sure someone else took our photo. You put yourself in them. I never told you that you couldn’t.”
“But you never told me I could, right?”
“I guess that depends on who you ask. There’s always three sides, mine, yours, and the truth.”
I didn’t bother to hide the attitude. I wanted him to see it. “Yeah, okay.”
“You didn’t jump in the center of Rowan and Ophelia when I wanted a picture before. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Whatever, are you done snooping through my phone?”
“What’s she talking about?” he questioned.
He gave me my phone, and pouted, crossing my arms over my chest, staring straight ahead. Full blown, teenage attitude intact. “Did she reply, Paxton? I don’t know. You read the same thing I read. You tell me.”
Paxton moved his face close to mine while one hand slithered up my arm and to my throat. Sneaky like a snake. Sultry words from his breath touched my lips when he spoke, forcing a few extra beats in my heart. Like a coward, I backed down. “I’m not your enemy, Gabriella. I fucking love you. Can you stop feeling sorry for yourself for five minutes and see that? Can you do that, Gabriella?” Paxton didn’t give me time to reply. He kissed me, really kissed me and I kissed him back, feeling that glittery explosion in my chest. “Stop, okay?” he asked as his fingers slid down my chest. With another soft kiss, Paxton moved to my side, this time closer, where the blanket separated us before.
I still didn’t respond. I stared ahead, letting the adrenaline flow in my veins while he went to my email, and opened the newest message. Only it wasn’t a video either. It was a link to join a video chat.
“Now what?” Paxton questioned, frustration evident in his tone.
I didn’t speak until he looked over to me. “What? I’m not answering you, because you get mad at me when I say I don’t know. Yet you keep asking questions that I don’t know the answer to.”
Paxton shook his head a little like he had no clue what I had just said, and frowned. It made perfect sense in my head. He hit the download button and leaned back, waiting for the installing process.
We watched the slow green bar, avoiding eye contact until Paxton broke the silence. “I have to close off the glass door in your room and make it a window.”
“Why?” I asked, confusion heard in my tone.
“Vander can’t be in a room with an exit to the pool. The state won’t allow it. I’ve got guys coming Saturday to help me switch it out. I thought maybe we’d put a window seat there instead.”
I didn’t care about a window seat. I heard one thing. “Where am I going to sleep?”
Paxton snickered, lacing his fingers through mine. “With me, I hope.”
“Every night?”
“That is normal, Gabriella. Most married couples do sleep in the same bed.”
Both our expressions changed to frowns when Paxton hit the button to join the conversation. A close up of Nick took over the screen.
“Nick?” I questioned.
“Oh, hey.”
“Gabby, Gabby!” Mi called from the background. Her arm waved wildly while she jumped up and down, determined to get my attention.
Of course I had to laugh at her. “Hey, Mi. I’m still sorry.”
She moved in closer to Nick and then scolded me. “You already said that. Don’t ever say it again. That’s in the past. Hey, Pax.”
“It’s Paxton. Hi.”
“This is my boyfriend, Nick.”
“How are you, and I’m not her boyfriend. I break up with her every day, but she won’t go away.”
I smiled when Mi kissed his cheek.
Paxton did not. He had to be a dick. “What is this?”
Nick lost the half smile he’d directed toward Mi, and cleared his throat. “As a professional, I don’t think it’s a good idea to continue with this arrangement Mi made with your wife. I know what’s on every video. I can’t see where hearing one side of things will help anything. There’s always three sides, yours, hers, and the truth,” Nick explained.
“Ha, told you,” Paxton boasted like he’d been the first one to ever say the phrase.
“So, what are you suggesting, Nick?” I questioned while sidestepping Pax
ton’s ego with a look.
“I’m going let you listen to the rest of the videos while we talk about them. I'll ask you both questions about what I’ve learned in the next video. I’ve already watched it twice today, so it should go pretty smooth. Got it?”
I said okay right away, but my obstinate husband did not. He pulled me inside.
“Hold please.”
“What, Paxton? What?” I questioned in an exasperated tone.
“I’m not talking to this guy. He works for Lane. I don’t want that fucker knowing my business.”
I tossed my arms into the air in disbelief and reminded him of the facts. “I think that fucker already knows your business.
“I’m not talking to a psychologist about my personal life,” he assured me.
I tried my best to keep my cool, but stupid is stupid. “Fine, Paxton. I’ll go it alone. I’ll download it to my tablet.”
I took one slow step toward the door, knowing he’d pull me back.
“I say when we stop,” he insisted while pulling on the back of my shirt.
“No, you don’t, Paxton. How about we make it an us thing? You know, like a partner kind of deal.”
A deep breath, a stressed expression, and an open hand to the terrace, conveyed my win. Somehow I didn’t think anyone was going to win at this.
Letting Paxton’s ego off the hook, I started. “Okay, Nick. What do you want us to do?”
“Where are your stones?” Mi called from behind him.
Nick pushed her away. “You don’t need stones. I’m going to tell you—”
“Yes they do. Yes you do. Where are they?” Mi questioned.
Nick crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, but she too won. He waited for her to do her thing before continuing, attitude showing in his demeanor, just like mine.
“Mine’s downstairs on my bathroom sink,” I said, unable to hide the amusement. I loved the way Mi just overruled Nick, totally sidestepped his requests.
“Go get them. Where’s yours, Pax?”
“I got it right here.” That surprised me. I didn’t think for one second Paxton would carry the stupid stone, let alone believe in anything magical. He didn’t even correct her when she called him Pax.
I knew better than to argue with Mi. If she said I needed my hematite, I needed it. She wouldn’t shut up until I got it.
Not only did Paxton carry his own little rock on him at all times, he offered to get mine. I was sure he had a fever. “I’ll go. I want a beer.”
“I’m not sure about this, Nick. Paxton’s not one to air his dirty laundry,” I said, worried about the outcome, using my time alone with him wisely. He wasn’t the one on a second-floor balcony. I might slip, thanks to Paxton.
“I get that, but I was there. I already know everything.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Do you think I’m the wrong twin?”
“Not at all. That’s why I want to be here. That’s why I want to be the one in charge. This is about to get real, Gabby.”
I took a deep breath, not sure I was ready for any more real. How much realer could it get? Now that was a loaded question.
Ten
Paxton forced me into his arm by pulling me to his chest. Our stones collided with a click as our eyes turned to the black screen, and we both let out puffs of air.
“Where’s the video, Nick?” I questioned.
“There is no more video. Only audio.
Paxton kept one hand on my back, and one holding mine, and our magical stones. Even though we couldn’t see anything, we both kept our eyes on the laptop. I was sure Nick had adjusted the audio when the chase was cut and the show got right down to business. Lane’s voice just had to be the one we heard first.
“You still with me, Gabby?”
Why is Lane doing it? What’s he doing there?”
“Shhh, I told you stop asking questions that I can’t answer. I’ve got amnesia,” I said, eyes turning to his as I pled my case in a funnier manner than I meant to. We both snickered and turned our attention back to the computer, or the ocean. That’s where my eyes went. To a faint glow far out into the sea, a kiss from the moon. I listened to my faraway voice while Paxton’s arms comforted me in a way I didn’t understand.
I was so angry with him, so hurt that he did that to me. Even though I didn’t remember it, I could still hear his voice. I could hear him pressuring Lane into joining him while he used me in place of his wife. Sour bile pooled in the pit of my stomach thinking about it. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be with him. I sat up a little, needing the space when I heard my own weak voice.
“Yes,”
“Good, you know I’m sorry about that, right? I love my wife.”
“It’s okay, Lane. That’s what sluts do.”
“God, Gabby. You’re not a slut. Tell me how this happened? How did you end up married to Paxton? I don’t even know where you came from. One minute, Tatiana is Paxton’s wife, and the next, she’s gone, and you’re his wife. What the hell?”
Silence.
“Gabby, can you tell me what happened after the night you were with Paxton and me?”
“Yes. Nothing happened until Sunday. You left that day around noon, and Paxton worked on his house.”
“How did you feel? Were you okay?”
“Yes, I was fine. I didn’t really feel anything. I was already pretty numb by then.”
“The rape?”
“Yes, I presume so,” I replied in the same sad tone that Lane used. Quiet and melodramatic.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you, Gabriella. I’ve never cheated on my wife. Not since that night. I was drunk, and Paxton kept, you know,” Lane coaxed while apologizing, too embarrassed to say what was really on his mind.
“Yes, I remember. He kept telling you to put your dick in my mouth. Then you did.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry, Gabby. What happened next? After that night.”
“Paxton was still there, but I didn’t know it. I thought he left when you left. I heard him on the phone the night before saying he’d gotten a flight out Sunday afternoon. I had been walking on the beach later that evening when I ran into him again. He had his jeans rolled up, sitting on the beach, drinking a beer. He told me to come to him.”
“And then what, Gabby?” Lane coaxed when I didn’t reply.
“I went to him.”
“And?”
“He told me to sit down, but I didn’t. I looked to my feet.”
“What did he do?
“He pulled my fingers and I dropped to my knees in front of him.”
“Were you afraid of him, Gabby?”
“Yes, terrified. My blood pumped like wildfire through my veins so loud I was sure he could hear the pounding in my heart.”
“What did he say?”
“He asked me what I was doing there, and I told him that he said I could stay until Sunday, reminding him of our deal.”
“What did he say?”
“I remember him leaning back on one elbow and smiling up at me with a smirk. The same smirk he always uses when he’s amused by me.”
“Why do you think he did that? Why did he smirk?”
“He just did.”
Lane kept me talking with calm persuasion every time I stopped. “And then what happened?”
He pulled my fingers, forcing me to my knees in front of him, but I didn’t look into his eyes.”
“Why not, Gabby. Why didn’t you look into his eyes?”
“I was afraid of him. He intimidated me.”
“What do you mean he intimidated you?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to be near him, yet I was terrified of him.”
“Okay, go on. What happened after that?”
“Nothing really, he kept touching me and stuff.”
“Like how? Where did he touch you?”
“My hair, my chin a lot because I kept dropping my eyes. He pulled my eyes to his every time I did it. He told me if I didn?
??t start looking at him when he spoke, I would be punished. That he would spank me.”
Lane’s voice lowered even more as he coaxed me to continue. “Did he do that, Gabriella?”
“Yes.”
“Did you have sex with Paxton again that day?”
“Yes.”
“Did you want to have sex with Paxton?”
“I mean, I guess. He wanted me to do it.”
“Did he hurt you? Did he do anything else to you, Gabby?”
“He didn’t hurt me. The spanking hurt a little, but he always rubs it away.”
“He spanks you now? Still?”
“Sometimes, if I’m bad.”
“How many times a week are you bad?”
“It depends on Paxton. Sometimes he’s really busy with work.”
“Let’s hold up right there for a second,” Nick said as I anticipated my response.
Paxton was the one to get fidgety with an anxious tone. “Why? Some of us have to work real jobs in the morning.”
Nick ignored him, just like Mi would have. “Gabby just told you that you scared her. Did you know that at the time?”
“No, can we go on?”
“I think you’re lying. I watched your eyes gloss over and the expression on your face change as Gabby explained that day on the beach. I think that’s quite a bit of information for Gabby.”
Paxton stood, walking away from the camera, and to the banister. “I’m done here, Gabriella.”
“Paxton, we’re barely started.”
“It’s fine, Gabriella. He’s doing just what I expected him to do. Sleep on that tonight. Your assignment before I show you more is to communicate about that. About how that made you both feel.”
Paxton took it as a cue to shut him down. He closed the laptop and walked inside. For a second I was confused, unsure of what to do. I looked around the corner and watched him walk out the bedroom door. The heavy sigh was for how far we got. Nowhere. Nick was as crazy as Mi, maybe even more. He should have let me ask the questions. I was an expert at handling Paxton Pierce. I knew how to push the buttons without him thinking it was my idea. It didn’t matter how smart Nick was, or what degree he had, I knew my husband and his self-righteous ways. That wasn’t the way to deal with Paxton.