He suddenly felt even more sympathy for the males who’d fallen for humans. It had seemed simple in theory to persuade one of them to allow a male into her bed and heart. The reality of it was anything but easy. Everything he knew about human dating rituals wouldn’t apply at Homeland. He refused to take her out to dinner at the bar. He’d have to punch other males when they attempted to gain her attention. The show of violence might leave her with the impression that he was a vicious male.
Vanni finally spoke and it was only then that he realized the silence had stretched between them again. “How could you say that?”
He struggled to remember what he’d said. She reminded him.
“How did I save us?”
“The drug I was given, if it is a full dose is…” He didn’t want to horrify her but he wouldn’t lie. “I would have been too mindless with a driving need for sex to care if I hurt you or how bad. At full dose the breeding drug Mercile created to use on us causes brutal sexual behavior and total memory loss. You alerted me to your symptoms instead of hiding them. Luckily I didn’t finish my drink. That could have been tragic.”
“I got a lot of the drug and I remember it all.”
“The drug you were given was a milder version. We’d heard from an employee who worked there that a research facility associated with Mercile Industries had tested the new version. She stated they were creating it to use on human females. We believe the Woods Church must have obtained it from them.”
“Gregory said he bought it from someone but he didn’t mention a name. He called the drug B-47.”
“Our task force is interviewing everyone from that facility to see who sold it to the church.”
“We were guinea pigs for some untested drug then?”
“We used the term lab rat when we were the subjects of Mercile’s testing. Full dosage of the breeding drug they used on us would kill a human. It makes me furious knowing what could have happened to you. I talked to the doctor after I returned to Homeland. You could have suffered heart failure or seizures that might have resulted in your death.”
It made him icy cold inside just imagining her lifeless body. He wanted to go to Fuller Prison himself and interrogate everyone from Drackwood. They needed proof though, before they took on the Woods Church. Otherwise Pastor Gregory Woods would accuse the NSO of targeting them because of their outspoken views against New Species. It was a publicity nightmare they didn’t need.
He stared into her eyes and hated to see the pain there. She’d been dragged into his world but he wasn’t sorry she was there. He wouldn’t have met her if they hadn’t been targeted. He could regret the circumstances but never the outcome. Vanni was just inches away from him, right where he wanted her to be.
Chapter Thirteen
Vanni let it all sink in. Smiley had lived a hellish life. She’d only been drugged once but he’d survived countless episodes that were far worse than what she’d experienced. He’d helped her through the worst of it but he’d been alone at Mercile Industries. She suddenly had sympathy like never before for New Species.
“Are you sure I didn’t harm you during sex, Vanni?” His voice softened. “You could tell me if I did.”
She looked away, unable to stand seeing the pained look in his eyes. “I really don’t want to talk about this.”
He softly cursed. “I did hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
Smiley sounded tormented and it made her feel guilty. He deserved total candor, even if it made her squirm. She looked at him and reached out to place her hand on his arm. The skin-to-skin contact helped her feel connected to him.
“I get embarrassed. That’s why I don’t want to talk about this. The only person I gave any details to about that night was my best friend. She’s the only one I’m comfortable discussing sex with. I was a little tender the next morning but it wasn’t because you did anything wrong. I’m fine now.”
“I was too rough.” He winced. “I understand. Thank you for sharing the truth with me. You were so tight that I feared I’d tear you a little. You should have one of our doctors look at you, Vanni.”
His bluntness startled her but she recovered quickly. “You’re very open about things, aren’t you?”
He nodded. “My people believe in total honesty.”
She swallowed and took a deep breath. Her cheeks were probably burning but she was willing to risk a bit of discomfort for Smiley.
“I don’t think I tore. I mean, I’m not in any pain. I just hadn’t had sex in a while. I have a tough time being so direct about sex. We didn’t talk about it in my house growing up. It was kind of taboo.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Mom never brought it up unless you count telling us a stork dropped us off when we were babies. My dad was hardly home. My sister and brother were older so they didn’t say much. It was more of a warning about don’t-let-men-talk-me-into-getting-naked-or-I’d-end-up-pregnant kind of thing. Beth was the one who gave me the sex talk when I was in my teens.”
His eyebrows shot up. “A stork?”
“You never heard that? Parents make up a story for kids to avoid telling them the truth about sex. They say that a big bird flies in and that’s how babies arrive.”
He laughed. “We openly talk about sex. Do you have any questions about me since we shared sex? We’re a little different physically than your fully human males.”
“You’re larger.” She felt her cheeks grow warm.
“Yes. Our muscle density is usually greater and we were engineered to be taller and larger in bone structure than most all your males.”
“I meant…” She couldn’t finish that sentence.
He smiled. “Our dicks?”
She nodded sharply.
“We were genetically designed to be larger all over. We don’t have a lot of body hair either. That is strange since we were given DNA from animals with fur. I’m glad I don’t have fur.”
Vanni grinned. “Yeah. That would kind of suck in the summer when it’s hot.”
Smiley chuckled. “I like it when you let your guard down with me. You have a wonderful smile.”
“So do you.”
His smile faded. “I was sexually attracted to you before the drugs. Were you even a little sexually attracted to me?”
Her mood sobered. “I don’t think we should discuss this.”
“You’re not sexually attracted to me in the least then?”
She stared into his eyes. “Why do you want to know?”
“I’m aroused being close to you. There are no drugs now.”
She gaped a little, astonished that he’d admit that. It took a lot of restraint not to glance down at his lap to see if he meant that in a literal sense.
Smiley hesitated, studying her face. “I wish to touch you and see what is between us without the aid of drugs.”
“That’s a bad idea.”
“Why? I want you, Vanni. I have thought of nothing else since that night.”
“I can’t have sex with you, if that’s what you want.”
Smiley’s shoulders sagged. “You aren’t attracted to me.”
The sad look on his face almost broke her heart. She couldn’t stand seeing him that way. “I am. It’s just that I believe in love before sex. We jumped into it and I don’t know how to feel about that. We’ve been intimate but we know so little about each other. It’s uncomfortable for me.”
“Why? Do you think you’re unable to love me? Is it because I’m not fully human?”
“I don’t even know you.”
He leaned in closer. “We can remedy that by getting to know each other. I’m taking you out tomorrow and we’re here together now. We just need to keep talking.”
She couldn’t deny the logic. “We could try that.”
“Do you believe anything your church says about us?”
“I’m not a member of the Woods Church and the stuff Gregory spewed was horrible.”
“That’s a good start. I know they hate us but I don’t k
now why.”
“I refuse to repeat that crap again. It was miserable enough telling Justice the kind of stuff they said while I was locked in that room listening to their garbage.”
He just stared at her. She caved under his steady gaze.
“It’s kind of confusing because they are nuts but it seems they think you guys are going to figure out a way to make an army of New Species and enslave the world. Or kill everyone. Maybe in that order. Did you ever see…” She shut up. “Never mind.”
“Did I ever see what? Talk, Vanni. We should have no secrets. You can say anything to me.”
“Fine. You know those horror movies where apes take over the world? I think they watched them too many times or something.” She cringed. “Sorry. I totally don’t want to offend you because I don’t think that way. You’re an amazing person. I don’t share their beliefs. It’s stupid. They are just idiots. Everyone knows New Species can’t even have kids.”
He looked away and his gaze drifted around the room. He finally looked at her again, glanced down at her stomach and then closed his eyes.
“Smiley? I’m so sorry.” She felt bad. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just that it was the only reference I thought of. Really. Please don’t be angry at me.”
He opened his eyes and stared at her. “I’m not angry. I promise. I could never be angry with you.”
“You’re upset.” She didn’t believe him. “You’re primate, right? That ape reference was just unforgivable. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not upset.”
“I would be. I should just shut up. You make me nervous. I’m making a mess out of—”
“I want to kiss you.”
That silenced her. She was flabbergasted.
His gaze fixed on her mouth. He moved in closer, his body almost touching hers. “Let me kiss you, Vanni.”
“I…”
She wasn’t sure what to do or say. He didn’t really give her a chance to come up with a response. His mouth descended over hers. She closed her eyes and was amazed at how soft his lips were. His tongue swiped her lower one and she gasped. He used that opening to deepen the kiss.
Smiley took charge of her mouth in a way that left her grasping his shirt just for something to cling to. He pressed tighter against her until they were chest to chest and she was pushed against the yielding couch cushions. The passion he hit her with left her reeling when he suddenly stopped. He pulled away a few inches. She opened her eyes to stare into his. Her heart hammered and she panted as if she’d just been jogging. She was speechless but he wasn’t.
“We have chemistry. You do know me, Vanni. Stop thinking and just feel.”
He went for her mouth again, cupping her face with one of his hands to keep her in place. She didn’t fight but instead closed her eyes again and welcomed his hot mouth meeting hers. She opened up to him without any urging the second time. There was no gentleness in the second kiss, more of a raw hunger. She met it. Her body did remember him and yearned to be touched.
He seemed to know it since his free hand firmly gripped her thigh and slid higher. The cotton shirt rode up over the back of his hand as he used his thumb to stroke her thigh, inching up. She moaned against his tongue and he rumbled in response. He broke the kiss and they stared at each other again.
“Spread your thighs wide and scoot your ass to the edge of the couch.”
She glanced down and realized how high her shirt had risen. She released him and grabbed for the hem, trying to shove it down to hide her exposed pussy. Smiley moved faster, releasing her thigh and face. He captured her wrists before she could recover her modesty. He shook his head.
“Don’t hide from me.”
“Let go.”
“We’ve shared sex but I’ve never seen you here. It was too dark to enjoy the sight before. Spread open and show me.”
“You’re seeing. All you have to do is look down.”
He slowly shook his head. “Not enough. I want to see all of you.”
“I’m not taking off my shirt.”
“Put your hands up and hold the top of the couch.”
“Why?”
His smiled. “You know what I want to do.”
She shook her head. “I don’t.”
His eyes narrowed and his expression grew somber. “How many males have you known, Vanni?”
“Two.”
“Didn’t you ever show them your sex? Didn’t they ever want to spread you open and appreciate you?”
She swallowed. “No.”
He emitted a deep, sexy rumbling sound.
“Why are you making that noise?”
“I’m turned-on. I rumble. It’s a good thing. We’ve shared sex. Share this with me. Let me see you, Vanni. I know how you feel here because I’ve been inside you. It was the best feeling I’ve ever experienced. Reach up and hold the top of the couch. You will enjoy me seeing you.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You’re beautiful and there is no need to be shy. My nakedness does not embarrass me. Your nakedness makes me hurt with wanting to touch you.”
“Well, you work out and you’re in perfect shape. I’m not.”
“I like your shape. It is a turn-on.” Smiley moved her wrists, lifting them high, and then bent them until her hands touched the back of the couch. “Hold on right here and don’t let go. Close your eyes if it helps you relax, Vanni. You’ll enjoy what I do to you.” He lowered his voice and murmured, “Please?”
“We shouldn’t be doing this. It’s too fast.”
“I’ll go slower. Will you hold on to the couch?”
She dug her fingers into the cushion. He eased his hold on her wrists and stunned her by gripping her hips and yanking her closer to him. It spread her thighs and he turned his hip, pressed between her knees and widened them. She looked down and bit back a curse. The shirt had bunched at her belly, leaving her completely exposed from the waist down. It was bright in the living room and everything was in perfect clarity.
He lowered his chin to stare at the V of her thighs. “Beautiful. I can’t wait to taste you.”
She tensed. “I know people do that but I don’t.”
His head snapped up and his eyes widened. “What?”
“Oral sex, right?” She figured her cheeks were probably neon red at that point. “I don’t. I’ve never.”
He just continued to gape at her. It made her feel kind of like a freak, as if something were wrong with her. She felt the need to explain.
“I have given. I just don’t get.” She released the couch cushion and tried to grab her shirt to shove it down but he captured her wrists again, holding them in place.
“Stupid human males. What was wrong with them?”
“It just never happened.” She tried to wiggle away but it was hard to do with her wrists being held and Smiley’s hips between her knees.
He shook his head. “I’m not letting this go. Grab the couch again and hold still.”
“I’m not comfortable with that.”
“You will be by the time I’m done.”
“Let go.”
“Not a chance.” They stared at each other until he lifted her arms again. “Grab.” He pressed her hands against the top of the couch. “Close your eyes if it helps. We are going to do this.”
She shook her head. “You just wanted to see and now you want to do more than that.”
“You’re shy. You don’t like males to see you naked or to have your pussy exposed?”
“That’s right.”
Smiley’s pretty eyes lit with amusement. “I sent Wager away from the front door but there is another guard posted in the backyard. I didn’t make him go away.”
“Why are you telling me that?”
“He’ll rush in here if you yell out. We’d have company in less than thirty seconds.” He tilted his head toward the slider. “He’d smash through it thinking I was harming you, which I’d never do. You don’t want him to see you naked, do you?”
“No!”
“Keep that in mind. Be very quiet, my little Vanni. I’m going to show you what you have missed. Otherwise they will rush in here to save you from me.”
She gasped when he suddenly released her wrists and gripped her rib cage. He lifted, pulling her right off the couch. He was strong enough to lay her on the carpet before she realized what he intended. He lifted up, let go of her and then gripped her behind her knees. He bent them up and spread them as he slid lower. She couldn’t miss the grin on his face right before he lowered it precariously close to her sex.
Her mouth opened but she remembered his warning. He reminded her in case she’d forgotten though.
“Relax for me, little Vanni. You will enjoy this. Try to keep quiet. I’m not shy about sex but you are.”
“Smiley, whatever you’re going to do, don’t. I—”
She gasped again when he ignored her and all she could see was the top of his head. The feel of his tongue swiping across her clit was something she wasn’t prepared for. It was hot and wet, the slightly rough texture a shock to her system. It felt good though, as a sensation of extreme pleasure jolted upward. Every muscle in her body seemed to go rigid.
He rumbled again, creating vibrations. She clawed at the carpet, forgetting how to breathe. He closed his mouth around that tiny area and applied more pressure with his tongue, rubbing it back and forth.
Vanni moaned. “Oh god.”
That seemed to encourage him because he grew more aggressive. His mouth clamped down firmly and he sucked on her clit. His tongue pushed against the sensitive bundle of nerves without mercy. Vanni thrashed her head and had to use her hand to cover her mouth to muffle the sounds she made. She felt as if he’d hooked her to a live electrical wire.
She began to perspire and she tingled all over. Her nipples beaded and the shirt rubbed against them as she writhed on the carpet. They were super sensitive. It was too much, too intense. The urge hit her to slam her legs closed and she tried but Smiley kept them open. He continued to play with her until her back arched and she wondered if she’d snap her spine.