CHAPTER TWELVE.
IN WHICH RESOLUTIONS ARE ENTERED INTO IN ALL QUARTERS, AND JEMMY DUCKSIS ACCUSED OF MUTINY FOR SINGING A SONG IN A SNOW-STORM.
What were the adventures of Snarleyyow after this awkward interferencewith his master's speculations upon the widow, until he jumped into thebeef boat to go on board of the cutter, are lost for ever; but it is tobe supposed that he could not have remained the whole night withoutmaking himself disagreeable in some quarter or another. But, as webefore observed, we know nothing about it; and, therefore, may beexcused if we do not tell.
The widow Vandersloosh slept but little that night: her soul was full ofvengeance; but although smarting with the imprints of the our's teeth,still she had an eye to business; the Custom of the crew of the cutterwas not to be despised, and, as she thought of this, she graduallycooled down. It was not till four o'clock in the morning that she cameto her decision; and it was a very prudent one, which was to demand thedead body of the dog to be laid at her door before Mr Vanslyperkenshould be allowed admittance. This was her right, and if he wassincere, he would not refuse; if he did refuse, it was not at all clearthat she should lose the custom of the seamen, over the major part ofwhom Vanslyperken then appeared to have very little control; and all ofwhom, she knew, detested him most cordially, as well as his dog. Afterwhich resolution the widow Vandersloosh fell fast asleep.
But we must return on board, where there was almost as much confusion asthere had been on shore. The reappearance of Snarleyyow was consideredsupernatural, for Smallbones had distinctly told in what manner he hadtied him up in the bread-bags, and thrown him into the canal.Whisperings and murmurings were heard all round the cutter's decks.Obadiah Coble shrugged up his shoulders, as he took an extra quid.--DickShort walked about with lips compressed, more taciturn than ever--Jansenshook his head, muttering, "Te tog is no tog."--Bill Spurey had torepeat to the ship's company the legend of his coming on board over andover again. The only persons who appeared not to have lost theircourage were Jemmy Ducks and poor Smallbones, who had been put in hishammock to recover him from his refrigeration. The former said, "thatif they were to sail with the devil, it could not be helped, pay andprize-money would still go on;" and the latter, who had quite recoveredhis self-possession, "vowed that dog or devil, he would never cease hisattempts to destroy him--if he was the devil, or one of his imps, it washis duty as a Christian to oppose him, and he had no chance of bettertreatment if he were to remain quiet." The snow-storm continued, andthe men remained below, all but Jemmy Ducks, who leaned against the leeside of the cutter's mast, and as the snow fell, sang, to a slow air,the following ditty, it probably being called to his recollection by thestate of the weather.
'Twas at the landing-place that's just below Mount Wyse, Poll lean'd against the sentry's box, a tear in both her eyes; Her apron twisted round her arms, all for to keep them warm, Being a windy Christmas-day, and also a snow-storm.
And Bet and Sue Both stood there too, A shivering by her side, They both were dumb, And both look'd glum, As they watch'd the ebbing tide. Poll put her arms a-kimbo, At the admiral's house look'd she, To thoughts before in limbo, She now a vent gave free. You have sent the ship in a gale to work, On a lee shore to be jamm'd, I'll give you a piece of my mind, old Turk, Port Admiral, you be damned.
_Chorus_.--We'll give you a piece of our mind, old Turk, Port Admiral, you be damned.
Who ever heard in the sarvice of a frigate made to sail On Christmas-day, it blowing hard, with sleet, and snow, and hail? I wish I had the fishing of your back that is so bent, I'd use the galley poker hot unto your heart's content. Here Bet and Sue Are with me too, A shivering by my side, They both are dumb, And both look glum, And watch the ebbing tide. Poll put her arms a-kimbo, At the admiral's house look'd she, To thoughts that were in limbo, She now a vent gave free. You've got a roaring fire I'll bet, In it your toes are jamm'd: Let's give him a piece of our mind, my Bet, Port Admiral, you be damned.
_Chorus_.--Let's give him a piece of our mind, my Bet, Port Admiral, you be damned.
I had the flour and plums all pick'd, and suet all chopp'd fine, To mix into a pudding rich for all the mess to dine; I pawn'd my ear-rings for the beef, it weigh'd at least a stone, Now my fancy man is sent to sea, and I am left alone. Here's Bet and Sue Who stand here too, A shivering by my side; They both are dumb, They both look glum, And watch the ebbing tide. Poll put her arms a-kimbo, At the admiral's house look'd she, To thoughts that were in limbo, She now a vent gave free. You've got a turkey, I'll be bound, With which you will be cramm'd; I'll give you a bit of my mind, old hound, Port Admiral, you be damned.
_Chorus_.--I'll give you a bit of my mind, old hound, Port Admiral, you be damned.
I'm sure that in this weather they cannot cook their meat, To eat it raw on Christmas-day will be a pleasant treat; But let us all go home, girls; it's no use waiting here, We'll hope that Christmas-day to come they will have better cheer. So, Bet and Sue, Don't stand here too, A shivering by my side; Don't keep so dumb, Don't look so glum, Nor watch the ebbing tide. Poll put her arms a-kimbo, At the admiral's house look'd she, To thoughts that were in limbo, She now a vent gave free. So while they cut their raw salt junks, With dainties you'll be cramm'd; Here's once for all my mind, old hunks, Port Admiral, you be damned.
_Chorus_.--So once for all our mind, old hunks, Port Admiral, you be damned.
"Mein Gott! but dat is rank mutiny, Mynheer Shemmy Tucks," observedCorporal Van Spitter, who had come upon the deck unperceived by Jemmy,and had listened to the song.
"Mutiny, is it?" replied Jemmy; "and report this also--
"I'll give you a bit of my mind, fat thief; You, corporal, may be damned."
"Dat is better and better--I mean to say, worser and worser," repliedthe corporal.
"Take care I don't pitch you overboard," replied Jemmy, in wrath.
"Pat is most worse still," said the corporal, stalking aft, and leavingJemmy Ducks to follow up the train of his own thoughts.
Jemmy, who had been roused by the corporal, and felt the snowinsinuating itself into the nape of his neck, thought he might as wellgo down below.
The corporal made his report, and Mr Vanslyperken made his comments,but he did no more, for he was aware that a mere trifle would cause ageneral mutiny. The recovery of Snarleyyow consoled him, and littlethinking what had been the events of the preceding night, he thought hemight as well prove his devotion to the widow, by paying his respects ina snow-storm--but not in the attire of the day before--Mr Vanslyperkenwas too economical for that; so he remained in his loose thread-baregreat-coat and foul-weather hat. Having first locked up his dog in thecabin, and entrusted the key to the corporal, he went on shore, andpresented himself at the widow's door, which was opened by Babette, whowith her person barred entrance: she did not wait for Vanslyperken tospeak first.
"Mynheer Vanslyperken, you can't come in. Frau Vandersloosh is very illin bed--the doctor says it's a bad case--she cannot be seen."
"Ill!" exclaimed Vanslyperken; "your dear, charming mistress ill! Goodheavens! what is the matter, my dear Babette?" replied Vanslyperken,with all the pretended interest of a devoted lover.
"All through you, Mr Vanslyperken," replied Babette.
"Me!" exclaimed Vanslyperken.
"Well, all through your nasty cur, which is the same thing."
"My dog! I little thought that he was left here," replied thelieutenant; "but, Babette, let me in, if you please, for the snow fallsfast, and--"
"And you must not come in, Mr Vanslyperken," replied Babette, pushinghim back.
"Good heavens! what is the matter?"
Babette then narrated what had passed, and as she was very prolix, MrVanslyperken was a mass of snow on the windward side of him before shehad finished, which she did, by pulling down her worsted stockings, andshowing the wounds which she had received as her portion in the lastnight's affray. Having
thus given ocular evidence of the truth of whatshe had asserted, Babette then delivered the message of her mistress; towit, "that until the dead body of Snarleyyow was laid at the porch wherethey now stood, he, Mr Vanslyperken, would never gain re-admission."So saying, and not feeling it very pleasant to continue a conversationin a snow-storm, Babette very unceremoniously slammed the door in MrVanslyperken's face, and left him to digest the communication with whatappetite he might. Mr Vanslyperken, notwithstanding the cold weather,hastened from the door in a towering passion. The perspiration actuallyran down his face, and mingled with the melting snow. "To be or not tobe"--give up the widow or give up his darling Snarleyyow--a dog whom heloved the more, the more he was, through him, entangled in scrapes andvexations--a dog whom every one hated, and therefore he loved--a dogwhich had not a single recommendation, and therefore was highly prized--a dog assailed by all, and especially by that scarecrow Smallbones, towhom his death would be a victory--it was impossible. But then thewidow--with such lots of guilders in the bank, and such a good incomefrom the Lust Haus, he had long made up his mind to settle inpossession. It was the haven which, in the vista of his mind, he hadbeen so long, accustomed to dwell upon, and he could not give up thehope.
Yet one must be sacrificed. No, he could part with neither. "I haveit," thought he; "I will make the widow believe that I have sacrificedthe dog, and then, when I am once in possession, the dog shall come backagain, and let her say a word if she dares: I'll tame her, and pay heroff for old scores."
Such was the determination of Mr Vanslyperken, as he walked back to theboat. His reverie was, however, broken by his breaking his nose againsta lamp-post, which did not contribute to his good-humour. "Yes, yes,Frau Vandersloosh, we will see," muttered Vanslyperken; "you would killmy dog, would you? It's a dog's life I'll lead you when I'm once secureof you, Madame Vandersloosh. You cheated me out of my biscuit--we shallsee;" and Mr Vanslyperken stepped into his boat and pulled on board.
On his arrival he found that a messenger had come on board during hisabsence, with the letters of thanks from the king's loving cousins, andwith directions that he should return with them forthwith. This suitedthe views of Vanslyperken; he wrote a long letter to the widow, in whichhe expressed his willingness to sacrifice everything for her, not onlyto hang his dog, but to hang himself if she wished it--lamented hisimmediate orders for sailing, and hinted that, on his return, he oughtto find her more favourable. The widow read the letter, and tossed itinto the grate with a "Pish! I was not born yesterday, as the sayingis," cried the widow Vandersloosh.